Her Last Day--COMPLETED 5/29/06

[Esmeralda]

I don't usually start posting fanfics until they're done, but I decided to make an exception with this one. It's based on my own mom's death and is dedicated with a lot of love to Janet Rita Krause Campion (10/14/33-3/10/04) Miss ya, Mom!

I open my eyes, unable to believe that I actually slept, hoping beyond hope that this was all just a dream. But when I look down and see two brown eyes looking back at me from a face that is as pale as a ghost, I know it isn’t. I smile at her and squeeze the hand I‘ve never let go. “Good morning, Piper! I love you! You made it to Wednesday!” and she smiles back. I know she won’t answer. The doctors warned us about that. There is so much morphine in her system right now that she won’t be able to speak. But her eyes, as alive as ever, say that she loves me, too.

I still can’t believe it. My sister, Piper Halliwell, the eldest of the Halliwells for almost 20 years, the strongest of the Charmed Ones, is dying. We’ve vanquished every sort of bad-guy you could think of -- demons, warlocks, avatars, Greek gods; you name it! We vanquished the Source of All Evil, for Pete’s sake, and yet we can’t vanquish the thing that is killing my sister. Ovarian cancer, that most sneaky of all cancers, because doctors don’t find it until it’s much too late, is slowly but surely taking my big sister away from me. Somehow losing her like this--slowly but surely--is tougher than when we lost Prue. Our oldest sister was killed instantaneously while trying to save an innocent, a hero. Much as I hated losing her and still miss her every day, as I know I’ll miss Piper every day for the rest of my life, knowing that Prue died that way, the way she would’ve wanted to die, helps console me. But this, just a plain old normal, mortal disease??? Funny, I find myself doing something that I didn’t think I’d be able to do this day--grin. Piper was always the one who wanted a normal life. Maybe it makes sense that she will die of a normal disease here in a normal hospital!

Just this once, I’m grateful to those !@#$% Elders who have been the bane of most of our Charmed lives, especially Piper‘s. They took away Piper’s powers to freeze and to explode and made her normal, so she could be here in this hospital where she could at least be comfortable for the rest of her life. They can’t heal the cancer, since it wasn’t something that was caused by evil, but at least they’re making sure that she will never feel pain again.

I still find this all so very hard to believe. How can this possibly be? And how can I, who was the baby of the family for so much of my life, possibly go to being the matriarch? Everyone always took care of me; how can I take care of everyone else? At least when we lost Prue, I had Cole to help keep me sane. Who will do that now? Despite all the boyfriends I’d had during my life, I still don’t have a husband or a child. The daughter I saw in my vision quest so many years ago still doesn’t exist any more than the daughter Piper saw in the future we visited, because we’ve changed the timeline so much.

I’m just grateful that I was the one elected to stay with Piper for what we knew would be the last night of her life. Thanks to the morphine, she is now considered a vulnerable adult. Piper? Vulnerable? Somehow those two words in the same sentence just don’t make any sense at all! But that’s what is. Since I have no one, we decided it was best for the others to go home, try to get some sleep, and then come back just as soon as they can this morning. I have Leo and Paige’s cell-numbers on a pad on the table. If something started happening last night, I would’ve called Leo and Paige and they’d orb the family in, rules or no rules! But fortunately, I didn’t have to make those calls.

“Phoebe?”

I turn and look into the devastated eyes of my brother-in-law, Leo. I turn back quickly to look at Piper, happy to see that look of love that came into her eyes whenever she looked at her husband is still there. I immediately jump out of the chair, relinquishing it to the one who deserves to sit next to Piper on this, her last day. He immediately takes her hand and leans down to kiss her and again she smiles back, her eyes glowing with love.

A lot of people who know our Charmed secret may think that Leo, as a whitelighter, will still be able to be with Piper, even after her death, but we know better. Although he is allowed up in Elderland, that isn’t the same place as Heaven where the spirits of the dead dwell. He’ll be losing her just as much as we will, and his own spirit will not be able to be with hers until after he is no longer a whitelighter, until he clips his wings permanently and then dies. I know that that is something he is more than tempted to do, but I also know he won‘t. He and Piper discussed that, and both agreed that Leo continuing to do his job is his best way to honor the love he and Piper have always shared.

Of course, unlike most other families, we know we won’t be losing Piper entirely. After awhile, we’ll be able to summon her ghost, the way we could summon the ghost of our grandmother and our mother and our father and our big sister. But being able to see her and talk to her won’t be the same as being able to hug her. Although Grams and Mom were allowed to become corporeal several times during the first few years when we were first Charmed, we are no longer allowed that boon. Maybe when her sons are married, the way Mom was allowed to be corporeal for Leo & Piper’s, but just for special occasions like that. I wish so very much that Mom or Grams would be allowed to be corporeal for this, to help me live though it, but I know better. The way they helped Prue make the crossing to the other side, now they will be helping Piper.

“Aunt Phoebe?”

Turning away from Piper and Leo, I see that there are others at the door, their two sons, 16-year-old Wyatt and 14-year-old Chris, staring at their mother, unable to believe that they are really going to lose her. I reach out my arms and hug them tight, especially Chris. I remember a different version of my nephew who came back to save his brother and his family and who lost his mother at age 14. Maybe that, losing his mother at that age, is just what’s fated, something we simply can’t change. At least he succeeded in saving his brother. The oldest of the next generation of Halliwells only uses his great powers for good and totally understands and accepts the responsibility of being the Twice-Blessed Child. His younger brother, half-Elder thanks to the actions of that other version of himself, is much more of an angel than those full-Elders have ever been. We know that eventually his destiny is to be the Chief Elder, and we *know* there will be a lot of good changes then! I know both of my nephews are wishing that they could use their powers to save their mom. I know the feeling. I remember when Prue died, and Piper wondered what good were our powers if they couldn’t save the ones we love.

“Phoebs?”

I look up into the tear-filled eyes of my younger sister, Paige, and she, her husband David and their children, Trish and Sam, join our family hug. And I suddenly know how I'm going to find the strength to make Piper proud of me--by taking care of the ones she loves.

(I'll try to keep going after I wipe the tears out of my eyes)

[leigh19]

Oh please do continue. I really enjoyed that (as depressing as it was). I'm very surprised that you chose a Phoebe POV, but it worked well in this situation. Really loved the Chris/Wyatt paragraph (of course)- Chris as chief elder- that made me smile.

It was very beautiful and heartfelt- it's great that you can take your own personal experience and use that emotion to make such a wonderful story. Bravo.

[Esmeralda]

Thanks, Leigh! I'm glad you like it, and hope the others who are viewing it and not replying like it, too. The reason I chose Phoebe to tell the tale was first, because I've written from her POV before and seem to have a knack at it (although only as Phoebs, not as PhoeME or Freebie), and also, since I'm basing this on my mother's death, I wanted my narrator to take my place, and as the oldest female after Mom's death, that made it me. It's also the reason I kept Phoebe single, since I'm the only one in my family who is. I originally was going to base the story so Piper was the same age as Mom, but I didn't want to have to go through having to explain all the new family members, besides using the irony of Chris fated to lose his mother at age 14.

So Phoebe will take my place; Piper, of course, will take my mom's; Leo will take my dad's; Paige will take my sisters and sisters-in-law; David my brothers-in-law, Wyatt and Chris my brothers, and Trish & Sam (I changed their order for a couple of reasons) my nieces and nephews.

Needless to say, this isn't an easy story to write, so I'll probably do it in pieces.

Here comes Part Two. Hope you like it.

[Esmeralda]

Paige pushes the others towards Piper’s bed. As they find places to sit, either on chairs or on the bed itself, Paige pulls me out into the common area and then into the family room.

“You OK?” she asks, worriedly.

“No,” I admit. “But I will be since you guys are here.”

“How was last night?

I smile at the memory. “I’m glad I’m the one who got to stay.”

She frowns. “You didn’t keep her up all night!”

I shake my head. “No. I kept my promise. With all that morphine in her system, I don’t think she could’ve anyway.”

“At least she’s comfortable. That’s what counts.”

“Yeah.”

“So what did you do?”

I grin. “Read her all my recent columns. All the ones she’s missed since she’s been here.”

“You didn’t!”

“I sure did. Except I’d just read her the readers’ part and she’d tell me what her advice would’ve been--her suggestion. Guess what.”

“Her advice was the same as yours.”

“Yep. She would’ve made a great advice columnist,” and Paige grins sadly. “And every now and then,” I continue, “I’d put some ice in her mouth or use it to rub her lips or rub her forehead, like the nurse told us to.”

“Good girl. Did she drink anything?”

I sadly shake my head. “Just any liquid she got from the ice,” and we hugged each other tighter, knowing that meant the end was near. I snuffled back my tears, “But I’m so glad I stayed.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, we’d just finished my column for today, and she suggested I read the letters that I was I was using to decide what I’d write next,” I pause. “If I write tomorrow’s column.”

She squeezes my arm. “You will. Just like I’ll check on my charges and Leo and the boys will check on theirs. You know Piper would want us to do that.”

“Yeah, you’re right. She would.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, I was reading all the letters--I’m glad I had my briefcase with me when you orbed me here,” and she nods. “So I’m in the midst of reading this real long one, one I‘ll have to edit down, but when I try to summarize it, she asks me to just read it whole--she never gets to hear the whole letter--so I do.”

“And?”

“Well, I’m about halfway through it when the nurse comes in and wants to check Piper‘s vitals. So I look at her, a kinda “Should I stay?” look, and she just indicates that I should keep reading, so I do, kinda getting out of the way, so she can look Piper over, keeping my eyes on the letter, not on Piper,” and again Paige grins. “When she finishes checking Piper out, she waits for me to finish a sentence, then says she’ll be interested to see my reply,” and Paige smirks. “Then she turns to Piper, and says, 'Piper, I think we’re going to give you a treat and just let you sleep the rest of the night. No more tests. Would you like that?'”

Paige grins. “I can imagine her reaction to that!”

I grin back. “Yeah, she says it would be wonderful, and the nurse leaves. So I go back to the letter, but the nurse musta given her some more morphine, coz she keeps drifting off, but as soon as I stop reading, she opens her eyes and goes, ‘And…’, so I keep going. And when I’m done, I’m sure she’s sound asleep, but she opens her eyes and gives me her advice. And you know something?"

“No, what?“

“While I was reading it, I figured out what I was going to advise, and for once, Piper’s advice was totally opposite of mine!”

“So whose advice are you going to publish?”

“Mine, of course.”

“Phoebe!”

“Well? I don’t want my readers to think I’ve freaked!”

"Did you tell her that you disagreed?”

“Nah. She’ll never know,” and I slap my mouth as I realize what I just said.

She squeezes me. “That’s OK. I know what you meant. But that’s why you’re glad you stayed?”

“No, that comes later.”

“OK, keep going.”

“Well, I could tell she’s really fighting sleep, so I tell her that I promised you guys that I wouldn’t keep her up all night and if she wants to sleep, she could, so she says that that would be nice and closes her eyes, and is asleep in no time. I’ll admit it scared me a bit--I was afraid she wouldn’t wake up. But I could hear her snoring, so I knew she was OK,” and we both smile, knowing how loudly our sister snores.

“And?”

“Well, I read a few more letters myself, when an intern comes in with a cart and says he’s come to take Piper for another MRI.”

“NO!” cries Paige.

I nod. “That’s what I say. And Piper’s eyes pop open and she starts crying out, ‘No! No!’ and I’m glad she no longer has her explosion powers, or that intern would’ve been a million bits!” and we both smirk.

“Oh, poor Piper! She must really hate those things! What did you do?”

“Well, I pat Piper’s hand, and I tell the intern, ‘No, the nurse said they weren’t gonna do any more tests tonight. That they were gonna let her sleep. And Piper says, 'That’s right! You listen to her!'"

“So did he?”

“Well, he says he better check with her nurse and I tell him that’s a good idea and Piper goes, ‘That’s right!’ and he left and never came back, so I guess the nurse told him no.”

“Oh, Phoebs! I’m so glad you were there and awake!”

“Yeah, so am I! Had I been asleep, they probably would've just figured she was out of her head and taken her anyway! Can you imagine having to go in an MRI tube at a time like this?” and since we've both had to go through that experience at one time or another, we both shudder.

“What happened next?” Paige wants to know.

“Well, I smooth Piper’s hair out of her face and I tell her, 'Don’t worry, Sis, I’m here, and I won’t let anything happen to you. You just enjoy your sleep!'”

“Good girl! I’m so proud of you!”

“Yeah, I am, too. And even if I wasn’t, the smile of gratitude that Piper gave me before she closed her eyes again said it all.”

“Oh! You’re gonna have to tell Leo and the boys about that!”

“Yeah, I will. Did they go home with you?”

“No, I wanted them to, so I could try to get them to eat, but they wanted to try to sleep in their own beds.”

“I’m thinking about moving back into the manor for awhile.”

“Why? It’s not like they’ll be all alone. They‘ll have each other.”

“Yeah, I know, but can you imagine three males trying to take care of the manor?” and now Paige laughingly agrees. “Besides, something else happened.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, just before Piper went back to sleep, she smiles at me and says, ‘Take care of my sweetie, OK?‘“

“Oh!”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m thinking maybe I should.”

“We’ll just have to play it by ear. You may want to go over once a week or something. That's what I'm thinking about doing. But you’ll definitely have to tell them about that later, especially Leo. Is that it?”

“Pretty much. Next time she opened her eyes, it was just before you guys got here.”

“So that, ‘take care of my sweetie’, will be her last words until we see her ghost.”

"Yeah,” and we cry on each other for awhile, before Paige says, “C’mon, let’s get back to her,” and I nod, so we head back to the room. The others are all surrounding Piper, touching her in some way. David moves out of the way, so Paige can sit next to her and touch the elbow of her arm that doesn‘t have all the tubes, then puts his hands on her shoulder, supporting her. I can't help but wish I had someone to support me. Both Piper's sons are holding her hands, while Leo has his hand on her head, probably wishing that he could heal her and knowing he can‘t. Trish and Sam are sitting at the foot of the bed, touching their auntie’s feet. I just stand at the foot of the bed, figuring I had more than my share of her time and attention last night.

(enough for now!)

[italiannna]

Oh my God Es....... I am completly speechless..... what a wonderful, heartfelt story... I absolutly love it! It's bringing tears to my eyes.... Your way of writing makes me feel like I am there and I am feeling what they are feeling....Keep up the great work, and it's wonderful to see you back here!

[Esmeralda]

Thanks, Rocker; I truly appreciate that! I'm glad that you liked this re-telling of my last night with Mom. Like Phoebs, it's something I'm glad I got to have and something I'll never forget! Off-topic for a sec, I hope you got a chance to read my "The Family Curse--A Charmed Series Finale" which is now in the Completed section. But now back to this one. As I said before, doing this isn't easy, so here's a small part, Part Three

No sooner are Paige and I in, than a couple nurses come in, one carrying a tray full of pastries and the other carrying a tray full of coffee and juice and soda. The one with the pastries sets it on Piper's tummy, while the one with the drinks put its down on the little end table. We thank the nurses and look at the food. I'm only going to have coffee--help wake me up after the long night with Piper--but I'm surprised to realize how hungry I am and grab a pastry, and the others follow suit.

"It's good," declares little Sam, mouthful of donut, "But not as good as you make, Auntie-Pi!" and that makes us all smile sadly, realizing that we're never going to get to eat any of Piper's fantastic cooking again.

Chris manages a sad grin. "Yeah, remember when that demon destroyed the kitchen and the thing that upset Mom the most was the bunch of cookies that were destroyed?"

"Hey, why not?" retorts Wyatt. "Those were for my birthday!" and it surprises again all of us when we all begin to laugh.

Well, that reminds Paige of a Piper-story, which reminds me of one, which reminds David of one, which reminds Trish of one, and on it goes. What should be a sad occasion is turning into a celebration of Piper's life with lots of laughter and smiles and hugs, even some light-hearted teasing that our family is so well known for. Even Leo, who never adds any stories, still has to smile wanly at some of the memories.

Until I happen to glance at the guest of honor and notice something that nearly breaks my heart. I watch for a few minutes, until I'm sure. Walking around the others, I stand next to Piper's head, opposite of Leo, and begin repeating the stories as I hear them.

After a bit, Paige glares at me in typical-little-sister-manner. "You don't have to keep repeating everything. She can hear."

Sadly, I shake her head. "No, she can't. Not that well."

"Yes, she can!" retorts Wyatt. "They always say the hearing is the last sense to go!"

I shake my head again. "Maybe, but I've been watching her expressions. When you guys say anything, there's no change, but when I repeat them, she smiles and her eyes move to look at the person who's talking, then back to me. Maybe it's the morphine, I don't know, but unless you're right next to her ears, I don't think she can hear you."

Well, they all gasp at the realization, at another sign that we're losing her, and it takes the air out of the bubble of the celebration. Leave it to little Sam to put it back in. "That's OK. My Grampa can't hear so good either--you just gotta shout a lot," and that puts the sad smiles back on our faces, except for Trish, who grins. "Yeah, Daddy, remember when he didn't even hear Mommy sparkle and was so surprised when suddenly she was there?" and that get us going again, but this time no one complains when I repeat each one, and Piper is able to enjoy all of the memories along with us.

[ejhoagie]

Just read your story and am extremely touched by how well you've been able to use the heartache you're going through and turn it into such an incredible story.

I hope that writing this helps you with what you're going through. I'm also grateful that you're giving us a gift of seeing this through Charmed.

When/if you continue, I'll be reading.

[italiannna]

Oh my God Es.... what a heart felt story!!! I didn't get to read your other fic, but I'm going to as soon as I have time....

I am so blessing you cause your story is so beautiful and so well written!

Great story, I hope I don't start crying, but I probebly will.

[Esmeralda]

Thank you, all of you! I truly appreciate it!! I'm sorry that I haven't posted for awhile, but as I said, this isn't an easy story to write, and I've been having a rough couple of weeks at work. It's better now, so here's Part Four

I’m not sure how long we’ve been here, sharing stories and memories, me still passing them onto Piper, so she can share them, too, but a doctor has just walked in.

“Excuse us, but we’re going to have to ask you people to leave the room for awhile. We need to take some tests and then we’ll probably take a nice little nap, right, Ms. Halliwell?”

I’ve always hated doctors and nurses who call themselves “we”, coz usually what “we” want isn’t what *I* want, and the way the smile in her eyes turns to a glare tells me Piper feels the same way! But Leo nods and ushers all of us out and into the family area. There’s a puzzle already started on one of the tables, so David and Chris and Wyatt sit around it and began working it, but they’re obviously not trying very hard. There’s also a table with some kid toys, so Trish & Sam go over there, and Paige joins them, but they play with as much enthusiasm as the “puzzle-solvers”.

Leo looks at both options, but then just sighs and flops down on a chair away from the others. He closes his eyes as if he’s trying to sleep, but they keep popping open, so, remembering my sister’s last words to me, I walk over, sit next to him, and take his hand. Not sure what to say, I borrow Paige’s words to me “You ok?“

He looks up, eyes pleading. “Please tell me I did the right thing! I can still change my mind!“

I know what he’s talking about, and I shake my head. No, we’re doing the right thing; it’s what Piper would want, I’m sure.

Last night, after taking some tests, the doctor called Leo into his office. He told him that they had reached a crisis point. The chemo and radiation that Piper has been enduring for the last few months isn’t working and the cancer has spread, so Leo, as the next-of-kin, had a choice to make. The doctor could operate and remove the cancer, but because her immune system had been compromised by the chemo and the radiation, there was a very good chance that she might die on the table, and even if she didn’t, there was a better than 50-50 chance that she would have to remain on a respirator and in the hospital for the rest of her life. Leo knew there was no way he could do that to Piper, but he needed some reassurance.

“Tell me this,” he asked the doctor. “If that was your wife in there, what would you do?”

The doctor admitted, “If there was a better than 50-50 chance that she could go back to being the active, full-of-life woman I love, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But if she had the same chance your wife does, I’d want her to die with dignity.”

Leo nodded. “I agree. I love her too much to put her through all of this.”

“Then we’ll do what we can to keep her comfortable, but if you have family that would like to have a chance to say good-bye while she can still speak, I’d suggest you get them here soon.”

Now I squeeze Leo’s hand. “Of course you’re doing the right thing! Piper told you so herself when you told her the choices!” and he nods. “She doesn’t want to take that chance of being stuck in a coma, a vegetable, not being able to communicate with us and not being able to be with Mom and Dad and Grams and Prue!”

Tears fill his eyes. “But I’m going to miss her so much!”

They fill mine, too. “We all will, but together we’ll make it somehow,” and he nods.

[leigh19]

Just catching up on my reading. That last part brought tears to my eyes- I can only imagine how you felt while writing it. Very touching and very well done. Can we expect more soon? Hope so

[traci26]

Oh, Es---
Please update soon.. I love your story. And I am right there with you on how hard it must be to write a story based on the death of a loved one. But you are doing such a smashing job of making so heartfelt and real for the reader. Please write more soon.

[Esmeralda]

Thank you so much both of you! It's amazing how much writing this out, and even working on "Charmedizing" it is helping me with my own grief. Maybe that's why I was able to write a fairly good-sized piece. Hope you like it! Here's Part Five

Suddenly it hits me. Giving Leo’s hand a tight squeeze, I tell him, “There’s something I want to tell you.” He looks at me questioningly, so I tell him about last night. When I finish, I add, “I’ve been wondering why she specifically asked me to take care of her sweetie--you--and not the boys or the girls--but you, when through this whole ordeal, you‘ve proven that you can take care of yourself." He looks at me questioningly. "That’s why, Leo, that‘s why! She knows how guilty you’d feel about this, and she wants to be sure that you don’t beat yourself over this; that it’s truly the right thing to do,” and he smiles at me gratefully.

Just then Paige walks over. She must’ve overheard what I said, because she smiles and says, “She’s absolutely right.”

He smiles, “Thanks, both of you. I don’t how I’d get through this without you.”

Paige grins. “Ditto!”

I nod. “Now don’t worry about it and try to get some rest.”

He sighs. “I wish that I could just orb Piper and me away to some deserted island, so it could just be the two of us, like I did when we first found out about this. Then, knowing that she’s there with me and in my arms, I could sleep without any problems.”

We smile sadly as Paige tells him, “We wish you could do that, too, even if it would prevent us from seeing her, besides giving the poor nurses and doctors fits!” and that makes him smirk. Then she turns to look over at her kids. “I wasn’t sure if I should bring the girls. But she’s been like a mother to them as much as she has to Wyatt & Chris,” and I nod.

So does Leo. “I’m just glad that you used taking care of your charges and David taking care of his as a reason for her to watch them for you. It’s given her a chance to have as much of a normal life the last few years as a witch can have! I‘m so glad she had a chance to have that.”

“Well, it wasn’t an excuse! We really did need someone to watch them, someone who understands their powers and can handle them despite them.”

I grin. “Yeah, when she gives them a time-out, she gives them a time-out!” and I flick my hands in imitation of Piper using her freezing powers, which although it doesn‘t work on good witches, sure works on magical kids who are acting up!

They both grin back, then Paige sighs. “You mean she gave them a time-out. I don’t know what we’re going to do with the girls now.”

“We’ll figure out something,” I assure her. “I’d take them, but I can’t give them a time-out. With their powers, they'd walk all over me!”

“That’s OK; David and I will figure out something, even if it means having to bind their powers.“

“Oh, no!“ I protest. “You can’t do that! They’re both old enough to remember having them. And when they see their cousins using their powers, they‘ll wonder why they don‘t have any.“

She shrugs. “Well, Grams did it to Piper and Prue. I’m not saying it’s what we’ll do--that’s a last resort.“ Then she smirks. “Maybe we’ll end up taking them Up There.”

I giggle. "Oh, that would serve those Elders right!” and they both smile.

She sighs. “No, truly, if it’s really that much of a problem, I may just ask the Elders to reassign my charges to another whitelighter until the kids are old enough to handle their powers without close supervision.”

Leo nods. “That may be for the best. It’s why I’m glad that the Elders didn’t give me any charges besides our extended family until the boys were ready for charges of their own. Being able to help Piper raise them without worrying about my other charges was among the best times of my life. She was really depressed when Chris told her he didn't need watching any more, then went out and proved it. You asked her if she could watch the girls for you at just the right time. Being a mother is what she always does best and enjoys the most, even more than being a witch.”

I grin. "You kidding? A lot more than being a witch!" and he has to agree.

Paige nods firmly. “Yeah. Although I love watching and helping my charges, I’m those girls' mom, so it’s about time I act like one on a full-time basis. With David's job, we can sure afford it.”

I hug her, "Oh, Piper would be so proud of you for deciding that!" Then I turn serious. “Just remember that you gave Piper some of the best years of her life. Getting to watch them while knowing that Wyatt and Chris are old enough and in control of their powers enough that they can help us banish demons and save innocents without the Power of Three was really a treat for her. So no fair you feeling guilty!” and she grins and nods. “And I’m glad you brought them. I’m sure Piper appreciated the chance to see them, and they’ll remember getting to see her. And what would we have done without Sam to lighten the mood?” and she nods, smiling.

“Yeah, but I’m wondering if maybe I should take her home for awhile, let her run off some of her energy. You know how her powers act up when she has too much energy! Wouldn’t want her orbing in front of a doctor or nurse!”

Leo nods. “Good idea. What about Trish?”

“I think she’ll want to stay, but I’ll ask her.”

“Well, as long as you’re going home, would you mind dropping me off at my place and then bringing me back?" I ask. "After sleeping in these clothes, I’d really like to have a chance to shower and change.”

“Sure.” Then she thinks of something. She turns to Leo. “What if something starts happening?”

We all know what she means by “something“. “From what the doctor told me last night, I don’t think anything will happen until this evening. It’s the only reason I agreed to leave and have you guys leave, too. If I thought she might not wake up, no way they'd get us out of there!”

“But what if they’re just staying that and if they don’t know for sure?” I ask.

“Well, there’s always that possibility, but they’ve been pretty upfront with me through the whole thing. And, Paige, I can contact you, but, Phoebe…”

“Yeah, I know. And I wouldn’t want you or anyone else to come after me and miss being with Piper. It’s OK. Somehow I just get the feeling that I’ll know. I knew it when Dad was close to going. I’ll know when Piper is, and she’s not now.” and they agree. Then I look sternly at Leo. “You try to get some sleep, OK?” and he reluctantly agrees.

As expected, Trish wants to stay at the hospital, and David agrees to watch her, so Paige picks up Sam (who protests to no avail) and after explaining to Wyatt and Chris what we’re doing, we all go into a side hallway and first Paige orbs me home, then she orbs herself and Sam to their place.

After a long hot shower, which feels wonderful, I sit down at my computer. This is another reason I wanted to come home. I go online, go into my inbox and set up a new message to all of my contacts, which now also includes all of Piper's contacts from her inbox. Ever since Piper first got sick, it’s become my job to keep all of our friends advised of her condition. Only a few days ago I got to write and tell them that Piper was doing a lot better and was able to go home from the hospital. I’ll never forget how excited she was to get to see the Manor. Leo even carried her over the threshold! As I watched her take in all of the sights of the Manor, the look of excitement on her face told us that she didn’t think she’d ever get a chance to touch any of her things again, something I very happily passed on to our friends. Now I’ll have to tell them something totally different.

It’s not an easy email to write as I type and then delete, type and then delete, type and delete. I finally decide to just make it simple:

“I hate to inform you all, but my sister Piper will probably join our parents and our sister Prue sometime this evening. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers today--and save some for me, too!

Love,
Phoebe”

After I hit the Send button, I start reading and replying to some of my mail, but it’s hard, because most of it was written thinking that Piper had made an amazing recovery and was going to be OK, at least for few more years. If only…

Now I’m so antsy that I can’t stand it. Leaving a message for Paige: “Couldn’t wait. Going back,” I grab my car keys and head back to the hospital and Piper.

[traci26]

This update was wonderful. Please update again soon

[paigenotprue]

Wow... what a good story. Please more soon, so nominating this.

[CharmBffy]

omg this is amazing story it makes want to cry of course i do

[jumpshot219]

this so so warm and heartfelt i love it

[charmedcutie]

Excellent story, very heartfelt. My eyes started to well up with tears. I hope you win!

[traci26]

I hope that you are able to update again soon.. I know that you are probably busy. And I know how writing out this whole experience is helping you with your own grief with the loss of your family member. I wish I could have been this creative to be able to deal with my own grief from the loss of my grandfather when I was 16.. But oh well.. I can't wait till you have another update for us. The suspense is nerve racking.

[Esmeralda]

I promise I'll update this soon. For a bunch of reasons, for the first time, what happened to me during Mom's last day isn't properly translating into Piper's last day. Once I can figure it out, I'll make sure to post.

This is the main reason why I like to wait until after I finish a story before posting it, but this one is, well, different. Thanks so much to all of you--your heartfelt sympathy is really helping a lot!!

And thank you so much to everyone who voted for this story. Although it looks like Kiwi's may win instead, maybe this one will get a chance next month. I still thoroughly appreciate every vote and all your good wishes!! Keep those reviews coming; I love them!!

[anglomaltese]

This is a brilliant, yet touching story Esmeralda. It's really stoic of you to translate your grief into fiction this way - i truly hope it helps you. In the meantime, I will patiently await the next update