ljones
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Post by ljones on Nov 12, 2011 0:42:19 GMT -5
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Astral Alex
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Post by Astral Alex on Nov 12, 2011 11:11:23 GMT -5
Ironically, the reason I first noticed this is because I was on Twitter last night and saw that Alyssa Milano had tweeted Holly Marie Combs saying 'Hope you and the boys are okay, sending lots of love.'
Nice to see they're still there for each other.
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forbuss
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Post by forbuss on Nov 12, 2011 12:08:29 GMT -5
Thats so sad! But if they're not happy, theres nothing they can do really. She keeps her life so private (which is good).
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Post by Chrisaholic on Nov 13, 2011 9:36:40 GMT -5
Wonderful, another marriage down after 7 years! Seems to be really hexed with this year!
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Esmeralda
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Post by Esmeralda on Nov 13, 2011 10:56:40 GMT -5
What surprised me the most was that this was her second marriage; I thought it was her first.
I wish they could've tried to work it out for the sake of the boys. At least it sounds like they will get to continue to know both parents.
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Post by StoryGirl83 on Nov 13, 2011 11:19:35 GMT -5
Thats so sad! But if they're not happy, theres nothing they can do really. She keeps her life so private (which is good). I don't want to know what's behind it, because I don't think it's any of our business, but I sure hope there's more behind it then they aren't happy. That's one of the saddest reasons to give up on a marriage. Just so that my statement (hopefully) doesn't get misconstrued, I'm not saying that is one of the worst things that can cause a divorce. There are so many horrible things that could cause one. What I am saying is that it is very sad when someone gives up on their marriage for something as little as not being happy. And yes, when compared to many other possible reasons for divorce, including other emotions such as fear, that is little. This is not to say that I want there to be something terrible that happened, I just hope that it's a more solid reason then an emotion that will pass in time or at the very least with distance. I wish Holly and her soon to be ex the best and hope that if they do go through with this that they are ultimately able to find relationships that will last for the long haul. And I hope that their boys are able to have healthy relationships with both of their parents and that no bitterness is allowed near them (if any exists, which I hope it doesn't). |
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ljones
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Post by ljones on Nov 13, 2011 11:32:15 GMT -5
If Holly and her husband were not happy with their marriage, then I believe they should get a divorce. And I don't think it's a good idea to continue a marriage for the sake of the kids. It's not going to make things better - not for the marriage and not for the kids.
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Astral Alex
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Post by Astral Alex on Nov 13, 2011 18:00:28 GMT -5
She tweeted a few days ago: 'I'm not a statement kind of girl. So...It's private. And it's sad. #ThatIsAll'
Such dignity, bless her.
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Esmeralda
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Post by Esmeralda on Nov 13, 2011 18:11:39 GMT -5
If she hadn't added the extra, I'd agree. As is, I can't. Bless her, yes. Dignity? No. But then I don't tweet, so I might not understand it.
Like StoryGirl said happiness is a transitional thing. Trying to hang in there for the sake of the boys would make a lot more sense. My parents went through a lot of unhappiness both with other things and with each other. But they hung in there and worked things out - for us kids and in order to keep the vows they made - they said "Until Death Do Us Part", not "Til I'm Not Happy Do Us Part". And by watching them, you could tell that Mom and Dad were more in love during their 50th anniversary party than they were during their 25th - probably even more than when they were first married, because it was a marriage that had been tested and still held true. They now knew each other as they actually were and loved each other as they were even more than as they thought the other was. I wish more kids were as blessed as me to have parents like those - ones who thought of us, not just themselves.
But that only works when both parties are thinking of the kids and not just themselves and we have no idea what happened in Holly and David's marriage, and that's just as well. As Holly said, what happened is private and I'm sure it's because of much more than "we're not happy with each other" - she doesn't hit me as the type who would ruin three young boys' lives for that reason. Piper might have - Phoebe definitely would have; I don't think Holly would.
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Astral Alex
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Post by Astral Alex on Nov 13, 2011 18:23:48 GMT -5
If she hadn't added the extra, I'd agree. As is, I can't. Bless her, yes. Dignity? No. But then I don't tweet, so I might not understand it. Like StoryGirl said happiness is a transitional thing. Trying to hang in there for the sake of the boys would make a lot more sense. My parents went through a lot of unhappiness both with other things and with each other. But they hung in there and worked things out - for us kids and in order to keep the vows they made - they said "Until Death Do Us Part", not "Til I'm Not Happy Do Us Part". And by watching them, you could tell that Mom and Dad were more in love during their 50th anniversary party than they were during their 25th - probably even more than when they were first married, because it was a marriage that had been tested and still held true. They now knew each other as they actually were and loved each other as they were even more than as they thought the other was. I wish more kids were as blessed as me to have parents like those - ones who thought of us, not just themselves. But that only works when both parties are thinking of the kids and not just themselves and we have no idea what happened in Holly and David's marriage, and that's just as well. As Holly said, what happened is private and I'm sure it's because of much more than "we're not happy with each other" - she doesn't hit me as the type who would ruin three young boys' lives for that reason. Piper might have - Phoebe definitely would have; I don't think Holly would. A good point Es but I completely disagree. My parents split up nine years ago when I was only six, but being so young (the age of Holly's boys roughly) I picked up on the negative vibes and it made life so much more worse, that when they eventually told me and my sister that they were splitting up and getting a divorce - it was almost like a relief. Staying together for the kids sake is often a terrible thing to do; as your negative energy towards each other rubs off on your children. I have a friend, (who is 16, the youngest - his brother and sister are 25 and 24) and he says he really wishes his mum and dad would divorce as the tension and atmosphere at home is unbearable, and they haven't slept in the same room for as long as he can remember. Using children as a band aid for a broken marriage is often the final dagger. |
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forbuss
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Post by forbuss on Nov 13, 2011 20:33:10 GMT -5
I think that being truly unhappy is one of the worst things that can to anyone, inside or outside a marriage. If two people are truly unhappy, then I think they should seperate or get a divorce. I don't think this divorce came out of the blue, it had probably been in both of their minds for awhile. Who knows - maybe they even had their last daughter to see if it would hold them together. Holly said it was sad, so I'm assuming that something more than unhappiness did happen.
If your not happy, you feel like you don't have a reason to get up in the morning. We've all been there on our own - sometimes you get over it, but sometimes things fall apart and theres nothing you can do. I'm over this "Til Death to us Part" business. A death of a relationship is just as valid.
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ljones
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Post by ljones on Nov 15, 2011 0:07:47 GMT -5
If she hadn't added the extra, I'd agree. As is, I can't. Bless her, yes. Dignity? No. But then I don't tweet, so I might not understand it. Like StoryGirl said happiness is a transitional thing. Trying to hang in there for the sake of the boys would make a lot more sense. My parents went through a lot of unhappiness both with other things and with each other. But they hung in there and worked things out - for us kids and in order to keep the vows they made - they said "Until Death Do Us Part", not "Til I'm Not Happy Do Us Part". And by watching them, you could tell that Mom and Dad were more in love during their 50th anniversary party than they were during their 25th - probably even more than when they were first married, because it was a marriage that had been tested and still held true. They now knew each other as they actually were and loved each other as they were even more than as they thought the other was. I wish more kids were as blessed as me to have parents like those - ones who thought of us, not just themselves. But that only works when both parties are thinking of the kids and not just themselves and we have no idea what happened in Holly and David's marriage, and that's just as well. As Holly said, what happened is private and I'm sure it's because of much more than "we're not happy with each other" - she doesn't hit me as the type who would ruin three young boys' lives for that reason. Piper might have - Phoebe definitely would have; I don't think Holly would. A good point Es but I completely disagree. My parents split up nine years ago when I was only six, but being so young (the age of Holly's boys roughly) I picked up on the negative vibes and it made life so much more worse, that when they eventually told me and my sister that they were splitting up and getting a divorce - it was almost like a relief. Staying together for the kids sake is often a terrible thing to do; as your negative energy towards each other rubs off on your children. I have a friend, (who is 16, the youngest - his brother and sister are 25 and 24) and he says he really wishes his mum and dad would divorce as the tension and atmosphere at home is unbearable, and they haven't slept in the same room for as long as he can remember. Using children as a band aid for a broken marriage is often the final dagger. I think you said it a lot better than I ever could. My parents are still married, but they have been separated from each other since I was one year old. I don't know why they never got around to a divorce. But they have not been with each other for a very long time. I learned a long time ago - at the age of nine as a matter of fact - that they were NOT suited for each other. |
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Post by forbuss on Nov 15, 2011 12:41:39 GMT -5
Blessed, AA.
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Astral Alex
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Post by Astral Alex on Nov 15, 2011 15:19:11 GMT -5
Thankyou both.
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Esmeralda
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Post by Esmeralda on Feb 7, 2012 11:29:23 GMT -5
Then the marriage vows should be changed. It should be "Til Unhappiness do we part", not "Til death do us part", because nowadays that's what the people are truly vowing. I'll agree that if rather than simply not happy, there is true anger and hurt between the parties, then just staying for the kids isn't a good idea. But that's not the same as simply not being happy. If they can find the reason for not being happy and something can be done to change that, and if they're willing to make that change (which is what happened with my parents--and they did it for each other and for us kids), then you have yourself a happy family. Unlike what I like seeing in TV shows, life isn't always going to be a fairy tale and to quit as soon as it's not isn't a good way of doing things.
I'm not saying this is what happened with Holly and David...I doubt if they would've stayed together for seven years and three kids if it was...but it *is* my reaction to people who simply divorce because they're not happy.
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Astral Alex
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Post by Astral Alex on Feb 7, 2012 12:54:51 GMT -5
The thing is unhappiness often turns into resentment very quickly, and resentment turns into hate and it all snowballs.
Why should you live a life of unhappiness with somebody who you do not love any more? If David had cheated on Holly as an example, should she stay with him simply because 'death hasn't done them part'?
This could get me started on my whole views of religion but I'll leave that for another thread.
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forbuss
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Post by forbuss on Feb 7, 2012 20:26:36 GMT -5
I don't think you can dumb down how awful and horrible being unhappy is. To say "simply unhappy" makes it sounds like your having a bad day, when it's so much more than that. It takes years to get to that point.
I think someone said it before, but the death of a relationship is just as valid.
Es, do you think there are a lot of people that are having divorces on a light heart? I don't think there are too many. No one starts off a marriage wanting to end it, and deciding to have a divorce must be an awful, awful thing to go through for ALL parties involved. I don't think someone wakes up one morning and says "I'm unhappy, I want a divorce." Again, it takes years.
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Post by ~B@MeLiSsA30@B~ on Sept 10, 2012 16:00:15 GMT -5
I guess it depends on the reason for being unhappy. If two people marry, than grow up to be 2 different people, and they no longer desire or want to go down the same path. They either try to figure out how to make each other happy and meet in the middle, where both desires are met, or they truly love each enough to sacrifice their desire because they love him/her that much, but on the other hand, it wouldn't be right to stay in a marriage if you can't be yourself, or do what makes you happy.
"Being in love is being able to be yourself with the other person."
I do know that marriage is not easy...especially after awhile. When the honeymoon ends, it's a daily thing to work on, and sometimes people after awhile forget to do the little things that made you fall in love with them to begin with. Stop going on dates, don't call to say I'm thinking of you, or even get flowers for no reason at all, but just to say I love you. They seem to quit doing that after awhile. Especially after having kids, it's all about them, and they lose the romance. Two people really need to find time to be together as husband and wife. To keep that spark going and that romance.
For Holly though, I do believe it's more than simply being unhappy. I get the impression from Holly she adores her boys with all her heart, and if their was anyway to save her marriage. She would of done it. I still believe she loved her husband, but it must of been something really tragic for herself to separate herself and her boys away from their father. I just hope whatever it is, they find peace and love in the future, and I wish all the happiness in the world for Holly.
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