Esmeralda
Charmed
S2 "What If...?"
Fan Fic Winner
Twenty Years Gone....But Never Forgotten.
Posts: 21,920 
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Post by Esmeralda on Feb 1, 2016 19:31:05 GMT -5
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buddha!
AKA- 12 Angry Zen
What I still love most about your reviews, P3Nathan, is the names you come up with - both for your alternate titles and for your alternate names for characters. In my own way I hope you keep doing that even when you do the "better" seasons like S1 and S9. Von Claptrap absolutely cracked me up! I *almost* wish you had come up with your own names for the Charmed Ones... One of my favorite fanfic writers, Jediya, was going to do a parodic series and thinking of the names she came up with for the characters *still* crack me up. I can just imagine the ones you'd come up with... To give you an idea, here's hers: I don't even have to read any of her stories - and unfortunately she didn't write a lot of them  - just the names and descriptions crack me up!  I also ADORE your explanation for Billie's power. How any one could possibly think that we'd consider the Charmed Ones to be the most powerful witches ever when someone who has a power like Billie's would've already been around when they became Charmed... *shakes head* Just like I'm glad that the comics are almost done, I'm glad for your sake that S8 is almost done - even if I will dreadfully miss laughing at the stupidity of the last three seasons... Thanks for the memories...and the laughs! |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2016 18:36:23 GMT -5
You're very welcome, I'm glad you all enjoy them. And I'll definitely try to stick with my alternate titles, even for the more positive episodes.  |
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Esmeralda
Charmed
S2 "What If...?"
Fan Fic Winner
Twenty Years Gone....But Never Forgotten.
Posts: 21,920
|
Post by Esmeralda on Feb 2, 2016 22:12:00 GMT -5
You're very welcome, I'm glad you all enjoy them. And I'll definitely try to stick with my alternate titles, even for the more positive episodes. YAY!!!  Very happy to hear that! Of course if you can't come up with a better one, I'll understand - they did a very good job back when they obviously first wrote the episode and then went hunting for a title rather than the other way around. |
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Post by Chrisaholic on Feb 4, 2016 9:56:44 GMT -5
To "12 Angry Zen": I'm a fan of the Chinese Zodiac and the background here was good, for once. Billie working on her new power, and Piper in charge of the Buddha stuff. Not a good idea, and Phoebe's welcoming party only for her neighbors? I always thought here, the family was the center but this was obviously forgotten as well in this season. Still missing the boys.  |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2016 9:17:22 GMT -5
To "12 Angry Zen": I'm a fan of the Chinese Zodiac and the background here was good, for once. Billie working on her new power, and Piper in charge of the Buddha stuff. Not a good idea, and Phoebe's welcoming party only for her neighbors? I always thought here, the family was the center but this was obviously forgotten as well in this season. Still missing the boys. Yeah for season 8, I actually thought this one was alright for the most part. Mostly just the projection stuff that ground my gears really. Plus I was quite relieved that the Buddhist community seemed to fare a lot better with Charmed than Hindus did last season :S And that's why people started referring to Billie as a Mary Sue. In less than a year, she got more powers than the Charmed Ones did in eight. Exactly this. And now that they've established that Billie can undo magic and vanquish a whole bunch of demons with a simple thought, you just know that they'll constantly have her completely forgetting she can do any of that in order to keep the episodes going from here on out. Geesh, makes me all the happier that the spin off never happened... I don't doubt that ForgetYourPower-itis would have been worse than ever! |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2016 11:55:27 GMT -5
I'm guessing that, had that spin off happened, Billie would have been quickly de-powered. The character would not work if she could just get out of a jam by thinking about it.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2016 10:58:56 GMT -5
The Ballad of Rejected Male Guest Stars
AKA- The Last Temptation of Christy
Two days have passed since the end of last episode and we establish from Billie and Piper’s conversation in the kitchen that Christy is indeed back. According to Billie she’s been very closed off.
The way they’ve been building to this and seeing as these two sisters are such a big part of the arc to come, you’d think that a scene of them finally reuniting after all this time might have actually been worth putting onscreen. I mean seriously, this season has constantly been paying attention to Billie when many would argue it should be on the three leads more…but then when it comes to that one rather poignant and very plot relevant moment, they suddenly decide that we don’t need to see it? Geesh writers!
Anyway, Piper tells Billie to be patient and points out that Christy has been through something that none of them could even imagine. Wow, Piper with patience and empathy? Haven’t had that for a while!
Christy is in Phoebe’s room. Or is it officially Billie’s room now? It does seem like her college has been forgotten about. Anyway, Christy is huddled in the corner of the room. Billie approaches and a scared Christy looks up and announces “They’re coming.” Dun dun!
Phoebe and Paige arrive at the Manor. They’re eager for Christy to open up and give them info, but Billie is very reluctant to put pressure on her. Paige has a theory that Christy is telepathic and that she’s getting messages from her kidnappers.
Phoebe: She's your sister. There's no stronger bond than that. Trust us.
Well, frankly Phoebe, I don’t. I won’t get into the lack of closeness between the Charmed Ones these days, but if the writers expect me to believe that Billie and Christy are these really close sisters with a powerful bond, they’ll have to spend some damn time showing it to me rather than having a character who knows next to nothing about them telling me!
Somebody begins orbing in. The orbs are swirly for some reason. Paige throws a lamp, but the orbing has completed and the guy catches it.
Simon: I don’t think you recognised my "entrance".
Much as I loathe this guy, he does have a point; you’d think Ms. TwitchAWitch would recognise orbing at this point. So this is Simon, but I will be calling him Ironic Nazi (you’ll get why later on) and he has come to marry Paige.
Suddenly a massive scream can be heard. For a moment I was sure that it was my internal monologue, but no, we transition to a demon being tortured for info by other demons in the underworld. The demons wear the same necklaces that Christy had, bearing the symbol from Christy’s diary. They confirm that Christy is indeed telepathic and frantically insist that they “must find out who took the witch.” Sooooo… do they know about Billie? I mean they must do right? Be weird if they didn’t. So yeah, guys, I’d try the sister witch who recently came into her ridiculously strong powers; probably I decent bet.
Back to Ironic Nazi at the Manor. He yaks on to Phoebe and Paige about their line and his. He belongs to the Marks line of witches apparently and they’ve been a really big deal in the magical world since the writers said so five minutes ago.
I’m not sure if the guy playing Ironic Nazi is actually British, because I can’t find much info on him. He sounds awful but I guess he might just sound off to me simply because he’s a terrible over-actor. Like really, his bizarre inflections and wild gesticulation is painful to watch… huh, actually, maybe he really is destined to be with Paige now that I think of it, because she certainly twitches back enough in this scene.
Ironic Nazi says that he must mate with a half-whitelighter. How romantic. According to Ironic Nazi, his marriage to Paige has been prophesized by some oracles, some soothsayers and some totally not extinct wizards. It shouldn’t surprise me at all that Phoebe is humoring him and clearly enjoying this. Phoebe fawns over him and suggests he help them fight demons… Paige gives her multiple WTF looks. Hit her Paige, go on, hit her! Eventually Paige orbs herself and Phoebe out.
Ironic Nazi orbs to Piper, who is putting some shopping in the car. He gives her the exact same shtick. Think they were running short this episode? Anyway, when he gets a lack of response from Piper he leaves and Piper ends up backing her car into someone. Who you ask? Well… it turns out that it is the one and only FIREMAN GREG!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! Yeah so it isn’t even long since I watched season 6 and I needed a minute to remember who the hell he was. In case any of you forgot him, he was the guy that Piper dated briefly. His big moments of that season included: Um… well there was that time when...um...
So Billie and Christy are still at the manor. Christy still isn’t talking so Billie just stays with her and combs her hair. It just occurred to me that this two day time jump with Christy was probably just so they could have Marnette in full hair a makeup as if nothing ever happened.
Paige complains about Ironic Nazi while Phoebe continues to be a jerk about it. Henry is at the door for a date and Phoebe comes out with this:
Phoebe: You might want to reschedule in case a demon attacks.
Hahahahaha! Wow Phoebe, every time I think I’m over being shocked by your hypocrisy, you just go and crank it up another notch.
Henry doesn’t want to be running away from demons all the time, so insists on staying at the house despite Paige’s warnings.
Piper mentions Greg to Paige and she doesn’t remember him at first either! Then again, she didn’t remember the Source, so what hope does Greg have? It amuses me, yet saddens me that they keep calling him Fireman Greg… since it’s clear that the writers are totally aware that he is that two dimensional.
Christy wakes up panicked and tells Billie that “they are coming NOW”
So downstairs Billie, Christy, Piper, Paige and Henry brace themselves for the coming attack. Wait, where the heck has Phoebe gone? Oh who cares?
Three demons appear. Billie sends them flying and Piper blows one up. Paige orbs a fireball heading towards Billie but the clumsy thumbsy hits Henry in the shoulder with it. Christy lies on the floor, a nervous screaming wreck and magically sets a couch on fire. She does this in the same fashion as Tyler from season 4 by the way, rubbing her temples in distress. The demons shimmer out.
Phoebe comes downstairs; I’ll assume she was too busy on Tinder to hear any of the commotion!
Paige heals Henry and is very upset about what happened. Henry leaves the sisters to it upon Paige’s pleas.
Christy is back upstairs and is very shaken up.
Christy: I don’t know. I never knew.
Marnette actually does a pretty good job of playing Christy as a traumatized little girl.
Back to the demons in the underworld. They finally mention The Triad and refer to them as “The most powerful evil ever known?” WHAAAAAAAAT? Okay, first off, didn’t they answer to The Source? Secondly, they were killed by Cole while he was seriously wounded and he didn’t even have to go full Belthazor on them! Most powerful evil ever known my a$$!
Greg turns up at the house offering to get his and Piper’s cars fixed. He lets himself in when he smells smoke. Did you know Greg was a fireman?
Ironic Nazi orbs in, thinks Greg is Henry and proceeds to give him the whole Pure Nation “mustn’t mix the blood” lecture. Dude, you’re half witch, half whitelighter; that ship has definitely sailed already you massive self-loathing hypocrite! And that is where my name for him comes from.
Paige kicks Simon out with some more twitching.
Okay, I’m going to rant a bit about the issue I’m having most with this episode. As I said previously, Billie and Christy are a big part of the arc and if I’m expected to buy into them and their relationship then they need to spend time developing them. So I’m finding it quite frustrating that this is the first episode in which Christy is back and yet screen time wise, that seems to be playing second fiddle to male guest star stupidity with “Ironic Nazi” and “Fireman Greg, the Fire Fighting Fireman who Fights Fires Due to Being a Fireman”. All this stupidity should not be taking up more time than setting up something that is going to be relevant for the remainder of the season!
(Sigh) So on that note, we’re back to Greg, who is a fireman didn’t you know? He’s rather pushy despite Piper making it pretty clear that she’s not interested.
Paige insists that Piper go with Greg, because for some reason Paige really wants her to. Piper is uncomfortable due to the Leo situation, but Paige is all “Leo who?” and pushes Piper at Greg (literally).
Phoebe: I see… my new condo with me not in it.
Well honestly Phoebe, considering what you’ve contributed to this episode, you don’t have to stay on my account. Think things will go very much the same way with or without you frankly, so by all means stay at your condo.
The demons summon the dreaded "all powerful" Triad. These guys are different to the ones in season three. They don’t have the black eyes and their robes are different. They wear upright pentagrams on the front rather than upside down pentagrams on the back like the originals… isn’t that meant to be a symbol of good magic?
Oh hey, Billie and Christy get a scene. Billie teaches her how to control her power. Billie moves a trash can across the room and gets Christy to try and use her magic. Christy successfully sets the trash on fire.
Ironic Nazi goes to see Henry. He claims to be from Sussex, to which I say B.S, I have no clue what that accent is, but I know that nobody from Sussex sounds like that! Anyway, he carries on with his “shouldn’t mix breeds” shtick and mocks the fact that Henry needed healing by Paige. Just punch him Henry, go on. Ironic Nazi challenges Henry to a duel and slaps him across the face with a glove... Henry doesn’t beat the living sh!t out of him, but I think that’s more because he’s kind of in disbelief that this is actually happening.
Wyatt plays in the fire engine, aww. Fireman Greg asks Piper about Leo and she tells him that he’s away; which is true enough I guess. Greg the Fireman doesn’t seem to be buying it. Dude, she’s clearly not interested, alright? Take the damn hint! Go and have a drink with Ironic Nazi, you can chat about how those damn women folk don’t know what they’re missing.
Back at the Manor, Billie is on fire, literally. Paige orbs her flaming jacket off of her. Billie tells us that Christy attacked her and then left with one of the demons... and of course we NEED to be told that, because again, why show us that when we can spend more time on one off guest stars?
So Billie explains to everybody in detail what happened with Christy.
Billie: I was showing her how to control her powers the same way you guys showed me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no! Nice try writers. Billie had pretty much perfect control of her telekinesis before she even met the sisters and Lo Pan taught her to control her projection. So no, they’re not getting credit for that.
Anyway Billie tells us that Christy started talking about “being the key” and how “she doesn’t want to be the key to the ultimate power.” Yeah that totally wouldn’t have been worth putting onscreen! “Not another one!” exclaims Piper... yeah, remember when the power of three was the ultimate power? The sisters think she may have a case of Stockholm Syndrome, but Billie doesn’t want to believe it.
Ironic Nazi is attacking Henry with a floating metal bar. Henry isn't doing so well. You should get your gun out Henry; everyone knows that half whitelighters go brain dead whenever they see a gun.
He stops attacking long enough for Henry to talk about Paige’s quirks and how it doesn’t matter that he’s mortal because he loves her. Yay. Henry finally punches Ironic Nazi and Paige orbs him back to England (I’ll be waiting with my shovel, jacka$$!)
Billie is called telepathically by Christy. Christy tells her to reverse the “To Call a Lost Witch” spell to send Billie down to her. They do this and Billie finds Christy who seems to be in a sort of trance. She also finds the demons, oops.
Billie dodges fireballs and flings demons around while trying to get through to her sister. Don’t they need Billie? Why are they trying to kill her?
Billie finally snaps Christy out of the trance and Christy creates a huge fireball in midair. This takes a while, but the demons don’t shimmer out, because they never do. Billie then shoots a stream of flames down from the ball at the demons, vanquishing them all.
Paige and Henry orb to the bridge. Henry thinks he’s passed the test, Paige looks confused. Henry has a really sweet look on his face and asks “You love me, don’t you?” Ivan’s delivery of that line breaks my heart a little. He proposes to Paige and she accepts. As much as I adore this scene, it is awfully fast... perhaps it would’ve been a good end for Paige in the finale. But even so, yay!
Fireman Greg, who is a fireman, brings Wyatt back home. Wyatt says “Hi mommy” and then “thank you” to Greg, it’s freakin’ adorable!
Greg tries to kiss Piper. Dude, seriously?! Piper backs away, but doesn’t smack him on the forehead as I would’ve liked. Piper once again makes it as crystal clear as possible that she is waiting for Leo and Greg finally gets the message because the episode is nearly over.
Billie and Christy are looking through photo albums and Billie promises never to let her go. Phoebe is eavesdropping (have you not p!ssed off back to your condo yet?) and Piper tells her to mind her own beeswax. Piper worries about “the ultimate power” while Phoebe suggests that perhaps it’s a good thing that’s meant to help them.
The Triad appear at Notwarts. “She’s in position. We’re almost there.” DUN DUN DUN!
Um, well if she’s in position, then why have you spent the episode fussing about Christy being saved and trying to get her back? Urgh...
Next up- A wedding, a stalker and much more of the lame a$$ Triad.
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Post by Astral Vision on Feb 7, 2016 12:06:44 GMT -5
Once again, enjoyed your review of that episode, but remind me, Greg's a fireman, right? I don't think you made it quite clear enough. xD
Also, whenever I hear people speaking with British accents in American TV shows, it always throws me, because whether it's their real accent or not, the accent always sounds so over-exaggerated next to American accents, that I'm left wondering whether they are using their real accent, if that makes sense.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2016 13:23:59 GMT -5
Yeah, let's blow more of our next to nothing budget on pointless guest stars  Missing scene in which Billie grabs Piper and says: Who are you and what have you done with the real Piper Seems Billie dropped out of college to become a full time witch. You're not allowed to have a life and career outside witchcraft anymore. What is it with these writers? Like Mr. Cardboard will soon do, this Simon guy is basically STALKING Paige. She tells him to get lost, that she loves Henry, but he won't listen. He keeps harassing her all throughout the episode, did he really think he was going to sweep her off her feet. Another pointless guest star. I wonder how much time could have been given over to fleshing out the Billie and Christy plot, if they'd tossed the Greg and Simon plots onto the rubbish heap. Can't blame Paige here, Greg was such a forgettable character. Ladies and gentlemen, our Big Bad of Season Eight. Recycled lame ass villains that Cole took out in thirty seconds flat while not even being at full strength. They may as well have used the Rowe Brothers or the Stillman sisters. Simon, perhaps you should go find some neo-Nazi chick to hook up with, you sound like you'd agree with her ideals. I pretty much said the same thing above. Greg and Simon should have been jettisoned and more time used to flesh out Christy. Paige, you're been hounded by some a**hole who wants you to cheat on the love of your life, and you're encouraging Piper to do the same? I though Phoebe was the resident hypocrite here. Considering they squandered money that they don't have on the damned thing, they should at least use it. Who would have loved to see Henry stomp the obnoxious twit into pulp. Me! Me! Me! And while they're doing that, Piper and Paige should be filing Restraining Orders. As your girlfriend did in Hyde School Reunion, but don't get me started. Yay, go Henry! Since Simon didn't return, I guess he finally got a clue and went to find that aforementioned neo-Nazi girl. Yeah, it was a bit quick, but I still love this couple. And we bid farewell to Pointless Guest Star Number Two. Hang in there, my friend, not much longer now. |
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Post by Chrisaholic on Feb 9, 2016 10:17:00 GMT -5
To "The Last Temptation of Christy": Nice to see another man after Paige and Simon has asked several soothsayers and many other people that a whitelighter like Paige would benefit his family reputation. As if!  In general, I don't like that guy to be honest: too annoying and too reliable on his magic! Then please more guys like Henry. Anyway, Piper meeting Greg again was a nice reminder of S6, yet out of the blue and Wyatt playing with him so that just his colleague could repair Piper's car. Wonder though why she this time stayed to her word. And with the Triad being back, saying that Christy is in position next to her sister in the mortal world. What have you guys planned again? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 16:17:15 GMT -5
The Lyin’, the Witch and the Weirdo
A.k.a- Engaged and Confused
We start with Piper in the kitchen. She has made a heart shaped chocolate cake... damn that looks good! She’s talking to Phoebe on the phone about Paige’s engagement party, which will be held at the Manor.
Meanwhile, Phoebe is dressing Christy up like a doll at her condo. I think Christy is missing her cave and I can’t say I blame her.
Underworld. Two demons worry about the Triad and claim that nowhere will be safe once they have acquired “the ultimate power”, so they plan to have the sisters vanquish the Triad for them. What a novel idea.
Paige is in the attic avoiding ring shopping with Henry because she’s feeling uncertain about her rapid nuptials. Piper gives her some advice about nerves and marital communication. I could b!tch about Piper giving anyone marriage advice, but I’m just too surprised at there being an actual sisterly moment in season 8! Honestly, it's kinda nice.
We’re back with the two demons. The older one, who's in charge is apparently an old Triad who was excommunicated. Yes, there used to be four demons in the TRIad apparently... urgh. On the plus side, I can call him Triject (Triad Reject), because heaven knows I have nothing else to work with for these two. I’ll just call the lackey Gem (Generic Evil Minion). They really need to inject some personality into the bad guys this season; they're incredibly forgettable.
Christy, Phoebe and Billie are at a cafe. Everyone looks appalled while Christy eats her chicken like a cave girl... which I guess is kinda what she is in her defence. The frustration of the situation causes her to accidentally set the chicken on fire and they decide to scarper. Phoebe runs into StoopidCoopid and he stares like an idiot creeper.
Gem and some other demon guy show up at the Manor dressed as cops to tell the sisters about The Triad. It’s hard for me to put across just how stupid this scene is, so I’ll quote it-
Demon: We just wanted to make sure you're all right. Can we, uh, come in?
Piper: Uh, why wouldn't I be all right?
Demon: Have you noticed any suspicious activity lately around your home?
Piper: What is this about exactly?
Demon: We got word there might be an attempt on your life.
Piper: What?! By who?
Demon: You, uh...you've come across them before.
Piper: "Them"? Who are you guys?
Billie: Hey, who are they?
Demon: Look. This is a friendly visit. We're just here to warn you that there are... beings who you thought you dealt with, but haven't.
Piper: Beings? Wait a second.
Christy: They're demons!
Demon: The Triad's back! Beware!
Yeah... real smooth guys. They then proceed to hurl fireballs. Why are you trying to kill them? You want them to get The Triad don’t you? Anyway, Christy incinerates the other guy and Gem shimmers out looking like he’s about to poop his pants.
Triject figures that Christy is “the one”.
Henry waits for Paige at the jewellery store but it has just closed. She explains about The Triad and he’s very understanding about it until Paige starts rhyming off a list of his annoying habits and imperfections. It turns into a squabble. It does however highlight the differences between them and it’s all very much in character, so it actually works for me.
StoopidCoopid just lets himself into Phoebe’s condo. She’s very suspicious and freaked out and I don’t blame her, because wow, I’d forgotten just how creepy he comes across.
Billie is all: “Who cares if he’s a creepy stalker who just walked right into your home? He’s sooo cuuuuute!” Shut up Billie!
Triject, wearing his old Triad robe, appears in Phoebe’s bedroom and Christy is kidnapped...again.
Phoebe and Piper think that this might be THE fight; the one that will end it all and bring Leo back. Phoebe thinks that StoopidCoopid might be involved in all of this (an understandable suspicion, since he did walk in and act really shifty right before Christy was taken) so goes to investigate.
There’s quite a nice moment between Piper and Billie where they promise to each other that they will get their loved ones back.
Christy is in Triject’s layer, trapped inside a crystal circle.
Phoebe gets back to her condo and StoopidCoopid is waiting for her. So she punches him in the face. Haha! Hooray! Sadly, not hard enough to knock him out cold. He uses his ring to freeze her and stares at her ankle “Nice, very nice”. Oh my God, ew!
He tells Phoebe that the Elders sent him down for her, because they feel so bad about how her love life has been going.
...........................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (SNORT) BAHAHAHA! No really, that’s what he says. The Elders feel bad because Phoebe doesn’t have a boyfriend. Yeah, that totally sounds like The Elders doesn’t it? It’s a rare day when The Elders aren’t massively concerned with getting the sisters on the dating wagon. Oh for the love of...
Anyway, this episode, Phoebe fortunately isn’t interested in this crap; she has bigger fish to fry and tells StoopidCoopid to shove his bow and arrow. If only this Phoebe could stick around for the rest of the season, but I know that won’t happen.
Piper reports that there is no known way to vanquish the Triad. Um, well that’s a load of crap. Knives, neck breaking, energy balls... basically anything, because let’s face it, they’re really nothing special.
Back in Triject’s layer. Christy is furious, demanding to be freed. She doesn’t resemble the frightened fish out of water that has been hanging out at the manor. She burns through her restraints and lets out a furious scream which incinerates Gem and sears through the crystal circle’s magic. No longer trapped in the circle, Billie’s summoning spell finally takes hold of her and whisks her back to the Manor before she gets a chance to vanquish Triject. As soon as she realises she is back at the manor, she puts her scared victim face back on. The best part of her playing them like this is that it means she intentionally embarrassed them at the cafe and made things really awkward for them. Haha, good girl!
Alone, Christy summons The Triad. In case we didn’t get that this was supposed to be dramatic, the camera zooms into Christy’s eye. I guess the Triad read my last review, because their robes now have upside down pentagrams on them, unlike last episode. They tell Christy to “show Billie the way”
Phoebe: We’re in for a huge battle!
...Not really.
Triject is killed by his old comrades.
Paige says goodbye to Henry just in case. It’s sweet and all, but man they’re overselling this battle. Seriously, I’m not sure it even lasts a full minute. Henry wants to marry Paige at the engagement party.
StoopidCoopid shows up uninvited yet again to wish Phoebe luck in the battle. He teleports out in the same fashion as the cupid from season 2. Colour me shocked that they actually bothered with such a detail.
The sisters tell Billie that she can’t come with them, because her projection would be far too useful. Okay, no, they tell her to look after Christy, but you know my reason is the real one!
We have the battle at Notwarts. The Triad put up more of a fight than they did with Cole, but it still doesn’t take much to kill them.
Phoebe runs away from Triad1 and acts as a moving target, or “draws out their power” as she puts it... whatever you say Phoebe.
Piper freezes Triad2 and 3 as Triad2 is throwing a fireball. Paige orbs Triad3 into the path of Triad2’s fireball and Piper unfreezes the scene. Triad3 is vanquished instantly. Piper then vanquishes Triad2 with three consecutive explosions. Triad1 teleports away.
Piper isn’t happy because Leo hasn’t appeared. They figure that there must be a bigger threat out there.
Piper: What could possibly be a bigger threat than the Triad?
Um, just about anything? Maybe there's a nasty stomach bug going around?
The room is frozen except for Christy and Triad1 turns up. This is where people who don’t watch the show regularly and who haven’t learned to spare themselves the pain of questioning this stuff would ask why he doesn’t just kill them all right now. But we know better don’t we guys? Yes, yes we do! Mwah hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Ahem... so anyway, Triad1 tells Christy to unite with the ultimate power and looks at Billie. “Save your sister”.
The wedding. Wyatt and Henry are sneaking wedding cake, ha cute. StoopidCoopid is there, but let’s not dwell on that; just focus on Henry, we like him. Paige looks absolutely beautiful. They look into each other’s eyes and say their vows. Everyone applauds as they kiss. Aww, what a lovely ending...can I not just leave the season there? No? Oh well...
Next up- Maybe I missed this one when it aired, because it doesn’t ring a bell at all. Apparently it involves Piper helping two of Leo’s old Notwarts students. Hmm, sounds tedious.
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Esmeralda
Charmed
S2 "What If...?"
Fan Fic Winner
Twenty Years Gone....But Never Forgotten.
Posts: 21,920
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Post by Esmeralda on Feb 20, 2016 17:08:17 GMT -5
The Ballad of Rejected Male Guest Stars
AKA- The Last Temptation of Christy AKA And They Put Leo On Ice To Save Money for THESE GUYS?  ? As always, P3Nathan, thoroughly enjoying your review - I've been so busy with Valentine's Day at work that I didn't have a chance to read and enjoy it til now. As far as Greg the Fireman goes, what I mainly remember is Piper wanting him to light HER fire very shortly after she and Elder Leo "divorced" thanks to her sister and half-sister shoving her out into the dating pool very shortly afterward, and Chris being afraid that he'd end up being half-firefighter and not half-whitelighter. Oh, don't we wish! What a "perfect" reward for him splitting up his parents before he was even conceived! All among the many reasons why S6 is my least-favorite season.... Those writers SO should've been shot! This, of course, is also true of the Triad. I'll never understand Brad Kern. First he tries to convince us that Paige wasn't part of vanquishing the Source - twice - and now he wants us to forget how very UNPOWERFUL the Triad were that as you said, an injured Cole *AS COLE, NOT EVEN AS BELTHAZOR* could take them out all on his own. They SO should've been a cinch for the Charmed Ones! But I forget - Melinda Warren liked - either that or these two Halliwells and one Matthews aren't really the Charmed Ones nor were three Halliwells - not when TWO (not even three!) Jenkinses were more powerful than they! So maybe Phoebe's three daughters will truly be the three sisters who was the most powerful witches ever...NOT! Not when there's no way their one cousin is more powerful than the Power of Three! I *adore* the way Prue in the comics explained to Cole how the Jenkinses could be more powerful than the Charmed Ones (because she as preventing them to be as powerful as they could be) and her comment - "Ultimate power, my a$$!" Can you imagine her reaction to the all-powerful Triad??? Kern must've thought he was being SO nice to us reminding us of all the things that happened in earlier seasons while trying to truly set up the Ultimate Battle...I'm shocked that he had Christy's power activated the same way as Tyler's! That's probably the best piece of consistency since Kern took over! Although I admit I always liked Billie the best when she was with Christy - Kaley and Marnette played nicely off of each other and Billie didn't seem quite as much of the dumb blonde like she usually did. But I'd totally forgotten about Christy being telepathic. Did the writers forget about that after this episode or was that just me forgetting after not having watched a second of S8 since the series ended...well, okay, except for the pieces that are parts of the fanmade videos, but I don't think they really count...right? Oh, yes, adorable little Wyatt... Truly he, Paige and Henry saved his season for me...too bad there was no such character in S6... But I agree with you totally - Henry passing the test and proposing to Paige should've been held off til the finale. Except then where would that leave Phoebe and Coop??? Hehehehehehe! Oh, I'm trying SO hard not to quote all of your wonderful lines so this isn't ultra-long like my other reviews of your reviews, but, oh, this one is very simply too good to resist! Am I dreadful in saying that I'm almost going to miss your hilarious reviews of these horrible episodes when you start posting your nice reviews of the great early episodes? |
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Post by Sadrick on Feb 20, 2016 17:30:36 GMT -5
I wouldn't undersell the Triad from a strength viewpoint. They were the second most powerful group in the Underworld after the Source. They're probably on-par with upper level demons individually, but together I doubt there's very many who could stand up to them. Cole and Zankou are about the only ones whom I feel could accomplish it. You could also make an argument for the Infernal Council and the Brotherhood of the Thorn.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 17:46:16 GMT -5
Poor Christy, as if 15 years of brainwashing and torture wasn't enough.
Sister moments, these day as rare as a Loch Ness monster sighting, so treasure them.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cardboard!
Henry and Paige's story is the only thing that salvages this awful season, IMO.
Why hasn't Phoebe filed a Restraining Order against Mr. Cardboard at this point is beyond me.
Pathetic that Phoebe needs the Elders to find her a sperm donor, uh, I mean true love. Paige managed just fine without them.
What the hell is Mr. Cardboard doing there. I would have had him escorted out.
Maybe you just mentally blocked it out.
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Esmeralda
Charmed
S2 "What If...?"
Fan Fic Winner
Twenty Years Gone....But Never Forgotten.
Posts: 21,920
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Post by Esmeralda on Feb 20, 2016 18:09:44 GMT -5
I wouldn't undersell the Triad from a strength viewpoint. They were the second most powerful group in the Underworld after the Source. They're probably on-par with upper level demons individually, but together I doubt there's very many who could stand up to them. Cole and Zankou are about the only ones whom I feel could accomplish it. You could also make an argument for the Infernal Council and the Brotherhood of the Thorn. Zankou powerful enough to destroy the Triad if they were that powerful I could understand, but not just a mercenary demon like Belthazor. Just like I never understood why they needed a piece of his flesh to vanquish him. He just didn't seem all that powerful until he was infected with the powers of the Source and then gave into them. |
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Esmeralda
Charmed
S2 "What If...?"
Fan Fic Winner
Twenty Years Gone....But Never Forgotten.
Posts: 21,920
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Post by Esmeralda on Feb 20, 2016 18:29:30 GMT -5
The Lyin’, the Witch and the Weirdo
A.k.a- Engaged and Confused ROFL!!! I had to read your title three times before it hit me that it's a takeoff on one of my favorite series from my childhood - great job! Hehehehe! I so love the way you come up with alternate names. I hope you keep doing this during the "good" episodes. It might be a bit insulting to well-written characters, but it's SUCH fun! Yeah, after enjoying S9 Coop so much it must be hard to go back to the horrible S8 version who was perfect for Phoebe since the only good thing about him was, as Billie put it, "He's so cuuuuuuuuuute!" - just like Phoebe! I didn't realize until I read this that Marnette was playing Christy pretending to be the scared girl! You gotta give Kern a *bit* of credit - it really is a great storyline....or it could've been. Like so many of his storylines, a great idea done horribly! How can they get such small things right and get such huge things wrong??? This really should've been the ending and skipping all of the flashforward crap. Maybe just let Phoebe catch the bouquet and then have StoopidCoopid propose... But then we wouldn't get to watch you tear Forever Crap to shreds and I know I for one am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for that! |
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Post by Chrisaholic on Feb 21, 2016 10:16:20 GMT -5
To "Engaged and Confused": I like this episode and its premise. It had wonderful parts but sometimes, I felt that the sisters couldn't see further than their own wishes and situations. Especially when the two demons visited and gave Piper enough hints about the Triad. Hell no, how short is their memory? I can't understand this.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2016 20:00:39 GMT -5
I wouldn't undersell the Triad from a strength viewpoint. They were the second most powerful group in the Underworld after the Source. They're probably on-par with upper level demons individually, but together I doubt there's very many who could stand up to them.
My problem with the Triad being under the Source is that the Source was vanquished four seasons ago. If the show had ended there, that would have been fine; but due to them continuing for so long after, they spent many of the next seasons trying to top The Source. Due to that, we have demons that are somehow tougher than him and various deity-like beings like The Titans, Avatars etc.
So after all that, to bring back demons that weren’t as big as The Source is underwhelming at this stage in the game in my opinion.
Also it certainly doesn’t help matters that they brought back The Source this season for the most pathetic vanquish imaginable… to then say “This is the big bad; oh but they’re not quite as tough as that guy who just got wiped out in a matter of seconds a few episodes ago” seems like a bit of a bad joke when they’re actually meant to be a believable threat.
I would question their power level, but I think that’s down to one of my biggest issues with Charmed. Their “tell and not show” policy. We’re told about how powerful they supposedly are and how feared they are, but then they don’t bother to deliver a fight that matches up to that hype. I don’t doubt that that’s because they’d pretty much served their purpose and the writers wanted to focus on Billie and Christy as the ultimate power; but even so, there could have been a bit more follow through considering the build up.
I get that they're a collective; stronger together... but they were together here and in season 3. If despite that they're still so insultingly easy to off individually, then the collective seems kind of redundant.
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Esmeralda
Charmed
S2 "What If...?"
Fan Fic Winner
Twenty Years Gone....But Never Forgotten.
Posts: 21,920
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Post by Esmeralda on Feb 21, 2016 20:30:14 GMT -5
I wouldn't undersell the Triad from a strength viewpoint. They were the second most powerful group in the Underworld after the Source. They're probably on-par with upper level demons individually, but together I doubt there's very many who could stand up to them.My problem with the Triad being under the Source is that the Source was vanquished four seasons ago. If the show had ended there, that would have been fine; but due to them continuing for so long after, they spent many of the next seasons trying to top The Source. Due to that, we have demons that are somehow tougher than him and various deity-like beings like The Titans, Avatars etc. So after all that, to bring back demons that weren’t as big as The Source is underwhelming at this stage in the game in my opinion. Also it certainly doesn’t help matters that they brought back The Source this season for the most pathetic vanquish imaginable… to then say “This is the big bad; oh but they’re not quite as tough as that guy who just got wiped out in a matter of seconds a few episodes ago” seems like a bit of a bad joke when they’re actually meant to be a believable threat. I would question their power level, but I think that’s down to one of my biggest issues with Charmed. Their “tell and not show” policy. We’re told about how powerful they supposedly are and how feared they are, but then they don’t bother to deliver a fight that matches up to that hype. I don’t doubt that that’s because they’d pretty much served their purpose and the writers wanted to focus on Billie and Christy as the ultimate power; but even so, there could have been a bit more follow through considering the build up. I get that they're a collective; stronger together... but they were together here and in season 3. If despite that they're still so insultingly easy to off individually, then the collective seems kind of redundant. The only way where I could see that maybe they'd be stronger than the Source would be if like Cole they went to the Demonic Wasteland and picked up extra powers there before returning - and having five seasons to do that. But as you said, the "telling not showing" tends to just make us want to roll our eyes... |
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Post by Sadrick on Feb 21, 2016 20:44:56 GMT -5
Well the various factions that you cited were neither good or evil. On paper, the Avatars are supposed to be influenced and strengthened by the powers that exceed moralistic ideology. And the Titans were just incredibly powerful deity figures with their own agenda. They weren't an inherently evil group, just oppositional and totalitarian which happened to put them at odds with the world. You had distinctly powerful and obscured characters appearing in the series as early back as Season 1 with Yama and the Angel of Death in Season 3. Both of whom could have been more powerful than the Source for all we knew.
I agree with you that the delivery didn't quite match the hype. But I think a major contributing factor to this is how inflated the power of the sisters became in later seasons. Early on you had these inexperienced neophyte witches delving into a world that they had no real understanding of. They were just starting out and had to learn on hand how to create potions, write spells and handle intense situations. It would take the three of them just to vanquish a single demon or warlock, yet come the later seasons and we have Piper blowing whole scores of them up or Phoebe killing them with some weapon on hand. She's not even supposed to be the vanquisher, just the medium.
Post Season 4, there's no one who could really challenge the Power of Three at its strongest except the Greek gods, Cole the invincible, the Avatars, and possibly Wyatt. Zankou relied primarily on deception and strategy to oppose them and Billy/Christy could do little more than fight them to a draw. That's the neo-PO3, by the way. I sincerely doubt Billy or Christy would have survived if it had been Prue fighting them instead of Paige.
I think of the Triad as being more of an organisational cult of leadership that functions behind the scenes instead of a front line force. They're powerful, yes, but they don't have the same experience or instincts as a person who is out there honing their skills by fighting and surviving. Plus, this is Season 8 we're talking about. The budget for the show had been slashed so I doubt they had the resources to make a big extravagant fight scene with all kinds of special effects. It probably took just about every bit of money they had left to do that brief laser duel with the "ultimate power".
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- just the names and descriptions crack me up! 
Very happy to hear that!
In general, I don't like that guy to be honest: too annoying and too reliable on his magic! Then please more guys like Henry. 
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