SANE CHARMED-WHEN GOOD SCRIPTS GO BAD

[mcharmed21]

Author: i luv drew

note to readers:i have decided to make a cheep re make of all my favorite eppys.leo dies in every episode and chris and paige are having an affair.hope you like it.
p.p.s. hoebe is a crazy mental insitute drop out

yes master
**************************************
in an ally we see chris and paige holding hands (hmmmm i wonder why) as piper and leo start arguing with each other.again.
piper:leo,shut up!we'll do things my way or 'll kill you.again.
leo:no wonder i left you.all you did was wine and complain.i shoulda married phoebe when i had a chance!
piper raises her hand as she was about to blow him up when phoebe waddles onto the backround.
phoebe:kitty,why is chris holding amy like that?
piper:it's piper!
paige:it's paige and he's not holding me,tight,any way it's time for your medicne.
phoebe:i take medicne cause i'm special.
chris:sure.................any way i'll go back to the house and get it for you.
chris orbs out.
paige:uhhhhhhh let me help him.
paige:where did you put the hand cuffs piper

piper:uh i don't have it
leo: right corner under piper's bed
piper:good times
paige:ok
piper:we'll keep the retard and finsh the vanquish.you go and help chris.
paige:i will hwh heh hehee
**********************************************
paige orbs in to see chris lighting a few candles
paige:where were you
chris:getting you this
he puls out a ring
aige gasps.
paige:i don't know what to say
chris: say marry me
**********************************************
leo:i'm not gay!
phoebe: kitty stop yelling at drake
piper:it's piper!!!!!!1111
leo pulls a bottle out of his pocket
suprisingly it not phoebe medication.it's a gene bottle
being the idoit that phoebe is she tuches the bottle and turns into a gene
she is auto mattically wisped to chris
******************************************\
phebe is wearing a blue "dress"(witch is really a blanket with holes cut out for sleeves)
phoebe:hello master
*******************************************
piper:if your not gay,then who was steve?
leo:that was just 1 night
piper:greg
dan
alex
tyheem
mark
phillip?
leo:uhhhhhhhh............jingle jingle.the eladers are calling me
leo orbs out as piper trys to blow him up.
piper scraeming)i want a devorce!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mcharmed21]

CHRIS AND PAIGE STAIR BLANKLY AT PHOEBE AS SHE STANDS THERE.
PAIGE:STOP SMILING!
PHOEBE STARTS TO POUT
CHRIS:GOOD GIRL HAVE A BISKET
PHOEBE JUMPS ON TO THE BISKET AND PLAY FULLY ROLLS AROUND ON THE FLOOR WAITING FOR A BELLY RUB.
PAIGE:MAYBE WE SHOULD SWITCH TO RIDDLEN
CHRIS:MAYBE
AFTER PHOEBE GOT HER BELLY RUB SHE STOOD UP AND SAID YOU HAVE MMMMM EWWE NGAHHAHA WISHES
PAIGE:WHAT DID SHE SAY?
CHRIS:SHE SAID I HAVE 15 WISHES.SHE WAS HAVING ANOTHER HEART ATTACK
PAIGE:HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS
*MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKROUND*
CHRIS LOOKS ALL SHIFTY LIKE
DUM DA DA DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMMMM!
TUNE IN NEXT TIME
LOL
ANY WAY:
PAIGE:HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS?
CHRIS:WHITELIGHTER CURSE
PAIGE:COOL
*******************************************
LEO ORBS IN UPTHERE.THERE IS STROBE LIGHTS EVERY WHERE AS TYHEEM(HEAD ELDAR) GETS UP ON STAGE.
THERE IS A HUGE BAR ACROSS THE ROOM,RIGHT NEXT TO THE HOT TUBS.
LEO:HEY DANNY
DANNY:WHAT'S WRONG TIGER?
LEO:PIPER WANTS A DEVORCE
DANNY; WHY?
LEO: SHE FOUND OUT................
DANNY:IT'S OK.GIVE ME A HUG
LEO:I KNEW I COULD TALK TO YA
LEO CLOSES HIS EYES AS HE HUGS DANNY.
LEO: WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! I'M REALLY NOT GAY!
DANNY: SURE,........................
*******************************************
PIPER:I WANT TO GO HOME..............
PIPER SUDDENLY IS HOME
PIPER:I LOVE DOING THAT UN LIKE YOU,WYATT,WHO I HATE.
IF YOU DIDN'T PUT UP YOUR SHEILD EVERY TIME I TRIED TO KILL YOU, YOU WOULDA BEEN DEAD BY NOIW
RING RING.......
HEY MARK. COME IN
INDEED HE CAME IN
************************************
CHRIS; I WISH PIPER AND LEO SLEPT TOGETHER
PAIGE:WHY?
CHRIS:I DON'T KNOW.............I GUESS I MADE A LOT OF STUPID WISHES WHEN I WAS YOUR SLAVE
PAIGE:WHAT?BAD WHITELIGHTER!!!!!!1NOW GO TO YOUR CAGE.
CHRIS SADLY MOPES INTO HIS CAGE AND LOCKS HIM SELF IN.
*******************************************
LEO IS SUDDENLY PULLED DOWN AS PIPER FLYS INTO CHRIS' ROOM.
(I FORGOT TO MENTON.THAT PAIGE AND CHRIS SHARE A BED ROOM BECAUSE PAIGE'S SUDDENLY COLASPED.A FEW DAYS LATER THEY WERE SHARING THE SAME BED BECAUSE CHRIS' BED EXPLODED.HMMMMMM I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED ?)
ANY WAY:
PIPER:LEO ?
LEO;PIPER?
PHOEBE:THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME BEING A BAD WHITELIGHTER,IT'S ABOUT YOU FEELING LIKE I'VE LET YOU DOWN SOME HOW.SO WHAT EVER ISSUES YOU HAVE WITH ME I WISH YOU WOULD JUST GET OVER IT!
CHRIS:UMMMMMMMM PHOEBE.
PHOEBE:WHAT
CHRIS:THAT WAS MY LINE FROM THE ORIGONAL EPISODE BUT I LUVE DREW DECIDED TO CUT IT OUT

[mcharmed21]

piper: leo? why did i marry you?
leo: cause i paid you to
piper: how much?
leo:15,000
piper:give me another 15,000 and then i'll stop killing you
*************************************
chris clangs a cup against the bars of his cage
chris: why won't you lat me be free
paige shut up or...............
chris unlocks the cage and steps out
chris: or you'll what?
paige: *sniff* why do you treat me so bad?
chris gives paige a hug
phoebe; i love happy endings.just like butter
*boom*
chris blows up
paige: that's wht i'll do

chris orbs back into the room with a silly look on his face
chris:ha!i told you it wouldn't work.where's my 50 dollars
paige hands him a 100 dollar bill
paige: got change for a 100?i'll even throw in phoebe
chris: deal
*******************************
piper and leo stare at eachother for what seems to be an hour when piper blurts out"i'mp prregnant"
leo:so
piper: chris is your son
leo: so
piper wves her hand through him.it was a hollogram
the real leo orbs down with candy written in glitter on his shirt
piper: and you say you aren't gay
****************************************
phoebe: my boyfriend is super man
paige: sure it is
chris: i wanna kill leo now.he's been in the episode too long
paige: yeah i know but we haven't finished making fun of him yet.wanna kill phoebe?
chris: ok
chris tk's phoebe out of the window but something catches her
paige:it's a bird,it's a plane
chris: leo's gay
leo: no i'm not
chris: where do you keep coming from?it's superman?
superman: why did you throw my girl friend out of the window
chris: what happened to lois
superman:i killed her
paige: cool,wanna live with us?
super man: cool,who am i bunking with
paige and chris: leo
phoebe: chris you still have wishes
chris: i wiah you would shut up!
a seal went against phoebe's mouth
chris: where's my mommy
**********************************
piper is playing target pratice with leo
leo: oww!! that's not gonna come out of my dolchea and gabanna
piper: you are sooo gay
leo: am not!!!!!!!!!!

[mcharmed21]

GUESS WHO I'M BRING BACK?
SOME FUTURE CHICK FALLS ON TOP OF CHRIS.AGAIN.PAIGE SEEING THAT SHE HAS COMPETITION NOW GETS JELOUS.
PAIGE: WHO'S THIS?
CHRIS:AMY...MEET PAIGE
AMY: HI.
SUPERMAN COMES FROM OUT THE BATHROOM,COVERED IN WATER
SUPERMAN: DO YA HAVE A PLUNGER?
AMY: WHAT DID YOU DO?
SUPERMAN: NONE OF YOUR BISNESS!!!NOW WHERE IS THE PLUNGER.
CHRIS" BOTTOM RIGHT UNDER PIPER'S BED.
PAIGE: WHY DOES SHE KEEP STUFF THERE?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIPER IS SEEN KISSING LEO.THAT'S NEW.
PIPER STILL KISSING LEO) HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN?
GREG: 5 HOURS 3 MIN
PIPER: REMEMBER EVERY HOUR I GET A 100 DOLLAR TIP
LEO" MMMMM
CHRIS ORBS IN WITH SUPERMAN.
CHRIS: SEE THAT'S HOW YOU ORB.
JUST THEN ANOTHER FUTURE GIRL FALLS ON TOP OF CHRIS.
CHRIS:WHY DO YOU KEEP LANDING ON ME?
KIKI: SORRY,BUT YOUR SO SOFT AND COUMPHY...JUST LIKE CHARMAN
SUPERMAN: CHA CHA CHA..CHARMAN
KIKI: THAT'S THE ONE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MEAN WHILE PAIGE IS EXPERIMANTING ON WAYS TO KILL PHOEBE.SHE HAS A TAPE RECORDER AND A CLIPBOARD IN HER HAND.
PAIGE INTO TAPE RECORDER) ATTAEPT #1002 ORBS OUT WINDOW.1 ATTEPT FAILED.
CHRIS ORBED BACK IN.YET AGAIN ANOTHER FUTURE CHICK FELL ON TOP OF HIM,
CHRIS: OWWW
BIANCA: SORRY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
IN THE SPIRT RELAM GRAMS AND PATTY ARE HAVING A HISSY FIT,AGAIN.
PATTY: I WANNA BNE THE ONE TO REVEAL TO THEM THAt they HAVE ANOTHER SISTER
GRAMS: YOU GOT TO LAST TIME
PRUE WALKS IN WITH COLE
COLE: THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN?
PRUE: YEP,WANT SOME POPCORN?
COLE PULLS UP TO SAETS.
COLE: YEA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
MEAN WHILE CHRIS IS BEING PELTED WITH LIP STICK.
CHRIS: LADYS LADYS PLEASE,BE NICE
POLLY: SYA THAT TO YOUR SON JASON!!
SUSIE: MARK,ANDY,CHRIS jr.
HOLLY: AMY FRAN CHERRY?
THE LIST GOES ON.
CHRIS: (POINTS AT POLLY) MIDNIGHT 2026? APRIL 4
POLLY: YEP.
CHRIS: GOOD TIMES,(POINTS AT APRIL) MAY 18 20024? 1:00 AM?
APRIL: YEP
CHRIS: GOOD TIMES......
HE COUNTS OFF THE CHICKS FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS
CHRIS: RUNNING OUT OF BREATH) #2333? UHH JUNE 14 2023?
SAMMY: YES
PAIGE AMN WHAT ARE YOU A PIMP?
CHRIS: WELL.....

chris: well.now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ashton kutcher comes from out of the bathroom
ashton:you've been punk'd
all the girls laugh at paige.
paige: i hate you all
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
leo counting moiney) 400,500,600,700,800,900$
piper:thanks,i'm hungry......
leo claps his hand
leo: more spam!!!
a spam truck crashes through the cealing
a guy hops out the truck
guy:crazy tasty!!!!!!!!!!1
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
phoebe and super man are in the bedroom sitting down.
superman: i think we need a new matress
phoebe:1-800-m-a-t-t-r-e-s-s call now for delivery
superman: you can remember that but you can't remember your name?
phoebe: 588-2300 empire! da da dum
superman: are you gonna keep during comercials?come on lets re-enact the i'm lovin it video."i know that heart that's in your chest,it's filled with pain and so much stress.but you gotta let it go,go ,go,girl,i'm lovin it
phoebe: ba da ba ba ba
on a scale of 1-20 how stupid is this?

[mcharmed21]

PIPER: IN THIS EPISODE TODAY WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE DANGERS OF KILLING A ENDANGERED SPEICIES....
PAIGE: ENJOY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LEO TAKES OUT A STICK AND STARTS TO POKE PHOEBE WITH IT PIPER RUNS ON TO THE SCREEN
PIPER: STOP THIS IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES.CUT
KERN: WHAT?
PIPER : I WANT A CLOSE UP OF ME WHEN I SAY IT!
BRAD ROLLS HIS EYES.
KERN: OKAY
PIPER: THIS IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES....THIS IS THE ONLY PHOEBE LEFT ON EARTH.
CHRIS WALKES OUT FROM THE BACKROUND AS THE CAMERA AUTOMATTICALLY GETS A CLOSE UP ON HIM...A LITTLE TOO CLOSE..
CHRIS: WHAT DID I TELL YOU MARK? I'M NOT GAY!THAT'S LEO.
CHRIS: WITH THIS ANIMAL'S RAIR STUPIDITIY AND SAGGYNESS SHE STILL HAS TIME TO BE A CHARMED ONE.
PAIGE WALKS ON TO THE SCREEN AS THE CAMERA GLASS SHATTERERED
KERN: OH COME ON! THAT'S THE THIRD ONE THIS WEEK.
PAIGE:SORRY.
JULLIAN A.K.A. COLE WALKS ONTO THE STAGE
JULLIAN: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING
CHRIS: ABOUT TO VANQUISH A DEMON NAMED BRAD KERN.
KERN: I HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE RATINGS GO UP AND DOWN WITH A CHANGE OF PHOEBE WEARING BLOND WIGS!!!! MEW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA-
PIPER: YOU REALLY GOTTA STOP DOING THAT
JULLIAN : NONE OF THIS IS REAL.HELLO? THIS IS A T.V. SHOW.
CHRIS: YEAH RIGHT.
JULLIAN: REALLY?"
HE WALKS UP AND TAPS THE CAMERA
CHRIS: HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN THERE?
PHOEBE STUMBLES ON TO THE STAGE..UHH..I MEAN FLOOR
PHOEBE: SHINEY LIGHTS
CHRIS: THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!1
HE BLOWS UP LEO
PAIGE: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
CHRIS: HE HAS BEEN IN WHAT? 4 CHAPTERS AND HE STILL WASN'T DEAD.KNOWING "I LUV DREW" SHE'LL PROBALLY BRING THAT LOSER BACK IN THE NEXT CHAPTER
PHOEBE: YOU'RE KINDA CUTE
PIPER: THAT'S MY SON
PHOEBE: YOUR FAT
PIPER BLOWS PHOEBE UP
PIPER:OKAY KERN...WHERE'S OUR NEW SISTER
KERN WAVES HIS HAND.
KERN: MEET PHOEBEUS..THE FIFTH CHARRMED INE
CHRIS: WHERE DO YOU GET THESE NAMES? OUT OF A HAT?
KERN SHOVES A HAT ASIDE
KERN: WHAT HAT?
PAIGE:PHOEBEUS LOOKS JUST LIKE PHOEBE
PHOEBUS: NO I DON'T
SHE PUSHES UP HER WIG
CHRIS: HELLO! PEOPLE ARE WATCHING US HERE!
JULLIAN: YOU DON'T LIVE HERE.IT'S A SHOW
ALL OF THEM: SURE IT IS
CHRIS WALKS UP TO THE CAMERA
CHRIS: LADIES I'M SINGLE
I LUV DREW FAINTS....
5 MIN LATER.....
I LUV DREW: SORRY....HE'S SO HOT
CHRIS: WHO THE H*LL ARE YOU?YOU'RE HOT
I LUV DREW: CALL ME KIKI
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOL...I KNOW..THIS IS STUPID..BUT WITH ALL THOSE GOOD FAN FICS OUT THERE I HAD TO MAKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH...ENJOY

a little side note:i'm taking last chapter out my story....it was too stupid
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chris walks into the room to see leo and piper sleeping peacefully
chris:wake up!
he throws water onto them
leo:what was that for
chris:i'm not really chris
chris takes off his mask to revel big wyatt as he orbs excaliber.
wyatt: good-bye!
leo unleshes his long screaming battle cry as he wakes up to see chris satnding over him
chris:dude...you have to get a new scream..and some aging cream...how old are you anyway
leo turns over to see phoebe in the bed next to him
leo:nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
leo wakes up to see a beer botle and a whole bunch of elders around him.
leo:why did you wake me up?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chris and piper go shopping for clothes for chris as chris eyes another chick at the counter.
piper:stop looking at girls!
chris:dude...i'm not gay!that's leo
leo:no i'm not
chris:where the hell do you keep coming from?aren't you supposed to be dead or something?
piper:you forgot to say dude.
chris:oh yeah....dude!
phoebe stumles onto the stage...i mean floor as cheep blue lights apear a round her.she's crying
phoebe:superman broke up with me
chris and piper turn the other way to laugh
chris:fork it over
piper goes into her pocket and pulls out a 20
piper:here! and you forgot to say dud-
chris h! dude!
phoebe:chris your kinda hot
chris:dude...not cool
phoebe walks over to him
chris:dude...so not cool! don't make me do to you what i did to dayrall in the season finally
paige:you mean before you died
chris:who asked you anyway and in i luv drew's mind i'm still alive so there! and oh yeah...dude
chris walks over to where the girl's standing at.....2 min later.
~smack~
chris:dude!oww that hurt
piper:can't even last 21 secondes can ya
chris:wait....this chapter is title baby chris
piper:sooo
chris:shouldn't you be getting knocked up in an ally some where and then i come out and say "yay" and show my belly
piper:it's her story
points at me with a nice purple lap top in my hands.
piper: and she can do what ever she wants
me:yes...i can
chris:can you make me stop saying dude?
me:okay....
~types in lap top~
me ut now you have to say not cool...either that or beat up leo spin city style
chris:where's leo?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
and so another chapter of this stupid story comes to an end.tune in next time to see piper and leo have chris

[mcharmed21]

me:okay chris
chris:what?
me: you have to say dude again
chris:why
me:cause i said so or else
chris:you love my character too much to hurt me
me:true...but i can emoationally scar you
chris: how?
me:you'll see
leo orbs in sporting a fake jimmy jazz wanna be shirt
chris:dude...that shirt is worser than that cheep suit dayrall had on in it's a bad bad world
leo:ugh...evil me had no fassion taste
suddenly it turns dark outside and thery're transported to an ally.evey body turns to look at me as barbus appears
barbus:your greatest fear is..
he waves a hand in front of chris
barbus:to see mom and dad have "fun"
chris:oh my god!no,no,no...dude!that's soo not cool
me:sorry...i have to teach you a lesson.
phoebe and paige disapear as a darklighter shoots leo.
chris:noo
barbus:shut up...they can't hear you and you forgot to say du-
chris:urgh! dude..i don't wanna see mom and dad doin' the dirty
piper:leo i love you so much
leo: piper...i'm not gay
piper:*sniff*
chris turns the other way
let's just say it was a long night
next day
chris lease..dude,i'm sorry..i'll never do it again...i don't wanna see it.so much...everything!i'm emoationally scare-
looks at me
chris:you did this!
i give him a glare
chris:*sighs* dude
me:that's betta..i warned you
piper:it wasn't that bad...
chris:what do you mean...how did a beaver and squirrel get into the mix then?
he asked pulling a squirell hair off of piper
piper:leo's so
chris:don't say it
piper:sexy!
chris:i think i'm gonna hurl.........dude
phoebe iper got knocked up again.....
piper:at least i got knocked up...someone's not gattin' any
they look at phoebe
phoebe:hey..i got my daily sourse of protein from superman
they look at paige
paige:what i wasn't with chris for the past 2 days
piper:we never said you were.hey!that's my son
paige:ewww!that's my nephew!
phoebe:i miss cole
all:shut up!
chris:hello....i'm dying over here from sickness.
paige:get over it..i'm your aunt!
chris:the lights were out...i though you were the chick from the store!
all:eeewwww!
leo:hi every body
aparently while everybody was ewing purole lights appeared out of no where as leo walked onto the stage...floor.what?haven't ypou ever wondered whgy geidon orbs purple...well were on budjet cuts and i can't afford blue
piper:i'm pregnant!
leo:eww! i tuched a girl
chris:you are gay!
leo:jingle jingle..the elders are calling me
chris:dumbas* that's the phone!
but leo had already orbed out

ever since the...er..tramatic occurance betwenn chris and his parents chris has locked himself on the attic rocking back and forth next to the book of shadows.mean while piper becomes extreamily bloated while paige trys to get chris sent out her mouth...
paige:you think this is funny don't you
me h...and all my fans seem to agree
paige:well it's not
me:shut up
paige:or what?
*types in lap top*
paige:i am hungry
i want some stew
am i in love
with my nephew?
paige covers her mouth
paige:what did i just d-
*music*
paige:what was that?
me:oh..i got e-mail...oh!
paige:what?
me:don't worry about it..you just ryhemed and youhave to see if drew...er..chris likes you
paige grabs her purple painted carboard box,puts it over her head and runs off the stage....uh.rppm.you see i ran out of money for cheep affects so a cardboard box is the best i can do..chris can still orb....only because i love him

[mcharmed21]

chris muttered to himself in the ally where he orbed to get away from things.he couldn't go to the bridge any more because last time when he orbed up there and it was raining he slipped and fell.he wasn't having a good day.he had just ordered the fourth harry potter book and it haddn't came so he was wondering what the hell is gonna happen with sirus balck,he still saw piper and leo together,he had had his own encounter with paige and to top it off he was channeling leo's pms.
leo:i am not gay
chris was at a loss for words....
chris:dude...
he said in a dragged out voice
chris:noooootttt coooolllll
(donald trump hand moation)
he then conjered a raido and poped in his mix tape.his theme song came on from spin city
"spider chris
spider chris
he doesn't have time to moan or piss"
chris began snapping his fingers...he loved that song
i cleared my throat
chrs:sorry...thanks for comming up with the theme song
me:your welcome
leo who was watching him joined in...it was spider chris mania
"beats up his dad
nabs his mom
has had issues
all along
hey there! there goes spider chris"
soon there was a crowd of people,all of them singing along.even piper,phoebe and paige were there singing.
piper: this is more annoying than that stupid right said fred song.but i love it
"is he calm?
listen bud
he has an evil older bro
from the future
travles time
has mood swings
all the time
hey there! there goes spider chris"
every body broke out into song.dancing filled the streets and music fillled the air
"hates his dad
protectes his mom
can bang chicks
all day long
you don't know me
is what he said
when he punched his dad in the head"
and then the song finished.
chris: aww...that was fun
me:you look so cute when your sad....here's another theme song
chris:yay!
"eveil chris,evil chris
his favorite thing to do is moan and piss
likes to drink beer and makes cars crash
and really likes to kick
dayrall's ass "
chris:he really did have a cheep suit
piper: i know
it was all fun until something happened
me:spp...phoebe come here
phoebe: why
me: i've got shinny things like sea shels and bobbles.
phoebve:ohhhh shiney!!
what will happen to phoebe? how am i supposed to know..i make this up as i go along

phoebe waddles over to me as a darklighter sneeks up behind her in a black painted cardboard box.
me:heheh..umm i mean phoebe look.!fetch!
o toss the shiny bobbles and shells over towards the darklihter while the rest of the crowd breaks out into "miss you" by blink 182
"hello there
the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the back round of the mourge
the unsuspecting victim
of darkness in the ally.."
chris:isn't it strange that the song is describing what's happening to phoebe?
paige:who cares...more singing
"we can live like jack and sally if we want
where you can always find me
and we'll have holloween on christmas and in the night we'll wish this never ends..."
the crowd hums along
crowd:don't waste your time on me your all ready the voice inside my head.i miss you
and then phoebe goes 'poof'
everybody cheers and claps..now that the trus wicked witch is gone
piper begins to sing again
"where are you?
and i'm so sorry
i cannot sleep
i cannot dream tonight..."
chris:mom!
piper:what?
chris:you ryhmed!that's a spell! am i the only sane one here?
just then a fluffy sheep walks by and dan appears.
me:okay look i had only 33 cants left in my pocket!you know how when they summon grams..doesn't it look like sheep?it does! and this is my fan fic so there!
"i need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as i stare i counted..."
chris:ewww! that could have been my dad!mom you have no taste in men!
"the webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight?"

[mcharmed21]

warning:this chapter contains stupidity,semi death and cheep affaects...read at your own cost
and now back to your regular scheudeled story

and then the sky went black and thunder filled the air.inocents scurryed in different directions as piper,phoebe,paige,chris ,leo and me stood there still.
leo:where did everybody go?
chris:who cares?
'i do' said a mysterious voice.'it is me...the all powerful geidon'
we then turn artound to see a burnt up crispy version of geidon.
leo ut how?
how indeed
flashback
a wave of water that is thrown from a bucket (thanks from a prop guy) fills the screen and then another prop guy squueges it cleen,creating the smudge effect.
wyatt:and now i'm going to stab you
leo:sure you will
wyatt:no really..i'll do it
leo:sure.
leo opens up a magazine.just then barbus apears
barbus:he'll kill you.
leo:whatever
wyatt plunges the sword into leo
wyatt:told ya so..now i'm going to skip merrily around the coner and disapear
~*~
chris:stay away from wyatt
geidon:don't make me kill you also
chris stupidly runs over towards wyatt's crib when geidon stabs him.pause...wait.that was stupid.this is what should have happened,rewind....chris runs over to wyatt's crib,his hair flipping widly in the wind as he flashes another flawless smile towards the camera.he then flexs his muscles and throws geidon acoss the room using his t.k..but geidon stubbernly appears and stabs chris.chris daintly falls to the ground,pretending to be hurt.
chris:ouchy! dad
~*~*
chris voice ecos in leo's head
barbus:at the cost of saving one son..you just lost another.
leo:chris?
leo then scrunches up his faces and screams out really dramatically
leo:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
burbus bursts into laughter
batbus:heh heh.sorry i'm supposed to disapera now right?
~*~*later on~*(~*
chris: goodbye dad
leo:no chris don't go..i need you to stay
chris:kill geidon and then phoebe....it's the only way i'll be in season seven...and the sequal
leo:what sequal?
chris:think about the bigger picture
chris disapears into a swirl of orbs...and re aperas at a seven-eleven.the reason he wasn't back in the rest of the fanallie was bacuse he was on line waiting for a slushy...
what will happen next?what's geidon's plan?
dum dum dum dum duuummm

due to the graphic stupidity of the next chapter i am posting a warning right now.
all the questions will be answered
1.how much did chris pay for that slushie
2.how did geidon come back
3.is leo really gay?
leo:not gay!
me:i'm gonna vanquish ya in the season premire if you don't stop!
4.phoebe becomes smart
5.piper throwing up in bushes
6.more musical outbursts
7.more chris
and now a preveiw of the season premire
chris:leo..i am your son
leo:no stupid..it's chris...i am your father
chris:whatever..dude
geidon eware my british evil ness..ness..ness..ness..
chris: stop echoing your self
and as a side note...the season premire(since i got payed for working at McDonalds this week and now can affod over the top visual effects) will be in japanese anamae!!!!!!!

[mcharmed21]

piper hastilly puts her hands up to blow up geidon
geidon: beware me!
and then he blew up
then the guy that i hate most in the world appears
ryan seacrest:you gays have been chosen to appear on my new show called witch...er..elder.
he stops to counts the heads
ryan:1..2..3..4..5..6 okay 6 player game show where i lock you on a desert island
chris:like
ryan: no..chris not like the isleand that you sent leo to
leo:so it was you
ryan y the way chris..the valkeries want child support..especially mist
me: chris doesn't have to pay it...but you do have to show your butt crack again
chris:why?
me ecause you did last year
chris:so
me:your sexy that's why
chris:this is true
ryan:okay back to me and my momma boyish looks.you will be locked on a desert island no orbing,and no food.you will be put through different tasks.chris,you'll be going to military school since you look better than me.
me:*sigh* i agree since Marysmary is right...you do have no muscle
chris: i though i was your favorite
me:oh don't make this any harder than it has to be.
chris pouts and brushes soem hair from his sparkeling green eyes.
me:don't try that with me
ryan:any way..piper will be going to home birthing clases,paige will be going on the welfare line for unemployment,phoebe will be going to I.S.59 public school where other dumb kids like to gather,leo will become the next william hung and wyatt will be going to summer school

~what will happen next
will chris get some buff?
will piper lose fetel chris?
will leo make a hit record off his new titled album"nice orbs"?
will paige become a crackhead?
probally
will phoebe be able to cope with the stupidity of my school?
and no i am not dumb

chris smiled happily as he walked up to ryan.nobody noticed me in the corner with my lab top typing down something
chris:i have a better idea
i snicker some more
chris blows up ryan..again and agasin and again until there is nothing left.
leo:i have to tell you guys something
all:your not gay?
leo:no
everybody raises an eyebrow at him
paige:i knew it!
leo:uhh no i mean i'm not!
chris:this has been going on for three pages now...dude you are so totally gay!
me:heh..you said dude
chris:you told me to
me:i'm board...i guess you know what i'm gonna do then..
piper lease not another musical outburst
me:nope..better
paige:kill phoebe
me:not..just..aw what the hell?
(boom!)
piper:too bad she'll be back in the next chapter
me:i still don't have enough money to kick her off the show....yet
chris:well what is it?
me:we're all going to disney world!!
all:what?
me:we're all going to disney world..the most magical place on earth
piper:really...where are we going
me:i just told you
piper:aww come on!
me:hey! you may be my favorite charmed one but don't push it
piper:or else what?
me:i'll cut off your hair to look at phoebe's..besides,everybody is busy looking at chris now....your hair is no longer needed to boost the ratings
piper:that hurt
me:sorry...
~in the car~
phoebe:99 whitelighters orbing on down,99 whitelighters orbing,you orb one down,then orb him around 98 whitelighters orbing on down
chris:shut up before i kill you
phoebe:the great i luv drew will just reseruct me any way
chris bats his eyelashes at me
me lease don't make me choose...i need her in the story so i can abuse her..
chris ut i'm a pretty 24 year old..look at my sexy green eyes and soft brown hair
me:a little help here
piper:chris! stop romancing with the author!
me:i didn't say all of that
piper:stop showing off your male sex appeal..your the only guy in the car
leo:what about me
piper looks at leo
piper:like i said your the only guy in the car

tune in next time folks!

[mcharmed21]

i'm taking stupidity to the next level so cope with me....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
piper:finally were here!
chris:let me out the car!
me:why?
chris:i haven't had my hair combed in a good two minuets
leo:ohh..is that goofy? i wanna give him a hug
paige pretends to cough
paige:gay
leo:i heard that
paige:what's your point?
phoebe:what's that big shiny colorfull thingy at the top of the castle?
leo:it's superman?
me:no
paige:it's richard?
me:no
chris:it's a barbie doll!
me:chris?
chris:yeah..
me:you've been hanging around your family too much..please don't go crazy on me..your the only one sane on the show...

speaking of sane..the great and powerfulr belthzor apears
cole:hi
chris:aren't you jullian the world famous nip/tuck aussie?
cole:nope..i'm cole turner and all the girls love me?
chris:woah!i'm the only chick magnet here
leo";what about me
chris looks at him
chris:like i said...i'm the only chick magnet here
cole:no i am
chris:first you have the gaul to have the same first initial as me and now you clam your the hottest guy on the show!you wanna fight?
cole:lets go then
where has piper gone off too?
piper:can i have a mr.clean package with the mondo srubber?
santa:sure
piper:and a new pine soll?
santa:sure
kid:hey lady!you've been on line for 3 hours already!give it a break
piper:wait your turn brat!can i have a not gay husband?

chris:so..can i have your nuimber
girl: my dad says i can't give out numbers
piper:what the hell are you doing?
chris:me and cole are having a contest to see who can get the most numbers
piper:she's 12 years old!
chris:so
girl:it's 867-5309..don't call me at 5..that's when i take my nap
chris:will do
cole:1500,1501..heh!1501 numbers
chris:no way! how did you get so many?
cole:how many do you have?
chris blushes slightly
chris:20..how did you get those numbvers?
cloe:watch
cole rips open his shirt to reval his hot sexy body and as if to top it off..he says
cole:hello
in his hot sexy aussie acient
thousands of girls (incept me..including piper) rush over and phoene numbers fly in his direction.
chris:okay...i can do that too...
chris begins to rip his shirt but then stops...he wasn't going to stoop to cole's level..in stead chris in one slight ,moation flips his head to the side,mletting some of his soft brown hair slide over his eyes,making his eyes give off the mysterious emerald glow we all know and love.the girls (including me)automattically fly over towards chris as numbers fill up the sky but chris isn't satifiyed so he wispers
chris:dude
his lips barely parting when he says the word
me:damn...
cole pouts and trys to give off his aussie charm but to no avail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i orb in to see leo sitting at a booth eating cotten candy.what? i can orb and do what ever the hell i wnat.
me:leo
he doesn't turn around
me:leo
i say a little louder
me:dumbass!
leo:yes?
me:*sigh* i can't be lieve you actually turned around...shut up!
leo:no
me:i'll put a curse on you
leo:no you wont'
me:lap top!
a lap top orbs into my hand as i r4cite the following
magic laptop do your thing
make this dumbass sissy sing!
leo:it's gonna burn for me to say this,but it's commin' from my heart
me:ohh..burn by user..good choice
leo:that's why you should let it burn...help me.i don't want to sing
me:*hums with song* sorry i wasn't listening
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
another chapter another day.i would like to thank eyerbody for the reveiw and don't worry..the next event cole should win.if you want me to include you in the story just say something snarky like what marysmary wrote and i'll put ya in.and i would aslo like to thank drew's dad for giving him those sexy green eyes

[mcharmed21]

as chirs and cole get ready for the next event we see paige flirting with another maniac which will be known as...well i don't know a good name.help me out here.umm...craig?or how about tyheem?never mind.the fact is that paige is happy for a moment which is not good for me.and since i am still pissed that she was dating chris in the beginning of my story i decide to blow him up...along with the table.
paige:what was that for?
me:you dated my man you huissie
paige:and then you broke us up remember?
me:not the point..shut up or i'll make ya sing like i made leo sing.five people have died already and they're starting global warming out in china because they think that leo's singing was another bomb.plus charmed addict is about to scream if he hits another high note.
paige:you know what?i can so totally take you on..i'm way preetier
me:@#%$...don't play yourself.i'll kick yo ass so bad you'd think that chris was tappin' it.
paige:damn....uhh..jingle the elders are calling me
me:huh?you can't hear the elders...
but she had already orbed out
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
me:okay sweetie...the next event is plastic surgery
cole smiles
cole:my favorite
chris:woah...i don't know what the hell you and phoebe were doing but i can't do plastic surgery.it might mess up my hair.
cole:it's not that hard.
chris:hey!i'm not the one who stars on nip/tuck.
cole:you did star in vampire clan though.
me:hell yeah...one of the best may i say myself drew....uh chris.
chris:yeah it was a good movie wasn't it?
me:especiall when you smaced the coffe out ogf the mother's hand and called her a @#%$
cole:hey! your stalling for time
me:no i'm not.hey look..out of time sorry.
cole:so who's the winner?
me:uhh...you
chris:what?
me:yeah sorry honey but all the cole fans including the 4th charmed one wanted him to win something
chris pouts and sighs heavily.
chris:okay...i'm gonna kick yopur ass cole!
cole ring it on sissy!
chirs:dude that's my dad not me! remember bianca.mist?that chick that i had sex with when i had forgot about wyatt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
keep the reveiws commin' people...wow.drew really does have sexy

they all apear on the set of jerry springer.
chris:crap!!!!
paris:heh..seems like your secret's about to be exposed
chris:this isn't spin the bottle or truth or dare paris!! the future is at stake here.
paris:atleast your hair's grown back
chris:thanks to iluvdrew
paris:so ya wanna go out
chris wispers:a little help here?
me:well sorry i'm his girl friend
paris:yo...not cool
me:hey!! i didn't have to put you into this story just so you can steel my man!!
paris:hey this is the jerry springer show..let's go
random man from auidance:ohh cat fight
crowd:jerry!jerry!jerry!
chris shakes his head as he tries to get me off of paris
chris:it's not worth it! you might mess up your hair or break a nail
me:that's true..
i slap paris one more time before taking a seat next to chris
me:i made you..i can kick yo ass..and i can erase you..any questions?.....altright then
piper:where are we?
leo:good question
phoebe:shiney things are fun!like hasbro...
paige:no more boohbah for you
jerry:today's show is called "life's a witch" and today we have brought this disfunctial family for some straightening out.we have phoebe,piper,paige andf chris halliwell with leo wyatt and paris...what's her last name?
stagemanenger:we don't know
paris:can't tell ya..might change the future in worse ways
piper:damn future chick
paris:not cool
chris:not cool..don't stael my words
paris:dude
chris Ude...HEH I HAVE one thing you can't do
chris flips his hair and shines his deep green eyes..
chris:hehh
paris flips her brown hair and shines her soft brown eyes making several men from the auidance try and jump on stage..landing her a few phoene numbers
paige:she's like the male version of him
leo:incept sexyer
piper:what did you say?
leo:i said incept sexyer
piper:your not gay?
leo:i've been trying to tell you guys this for 4 pages and a small mini stroy now
piper:omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mcharmed21]

paris:my name is paris perry
chris:oh come on..i said that 8 months ago..sheesh
piper:quite you..your dad's trying to speek
leo:i'm not gay
jerry:i heard you have issues with your dad..chris is that true
chris:hell yeah!he hits me..he tried to kick my ass twice..he threw me into the glass case causing their wedding picture to shatter..he locked me in a cage and totally screwed up my hair..he pissed me off in another cave..he tried to let me get eaten by a dinosaur...
leo:what about the time you tried to kick my ass in that cage
chris:i did kick your ass..and i wasn't done..in the future grandpa takes me to strip clubs to make sure i don't turn gay like dad...he abandons me to go hang out with wyatt,,made me cry on the golden gate bride
paige:some one's pmsing
piper:okay....
chris:you don't know me either paige!!that's why you get killed by uncle richard...
paige:what?
chris:damnit!damnit!!
paris:heh told ya the future would be revealed...
chris:i'll kill ya again
paris:i'm already dead
chris:so was leo and i kicked his ass
leo:i hate you
chris:what??
leo:i hate you!wyatt is the better son and you know it!i want you out the house by tomrrow! your probally the one's who evil..i bet your not even my son..your just lieing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chris:HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!YOU NEVER CARED FOR ME ALL YOU DID WAS THINK ABOUT WYATT AND HIS EVILNESSSNENSSNESSSSSSS
leo:it doesn't matter.there's nothing left in the fututre anymore anyway
chris:AND NOW YOUR SRAELING MY LINES!!!!!!!!YOU ARE THE WORST DAD EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chris begins tpo cry and run off stage as me and paris follow him.before i go i say to leo
me:you will pay dearly..i will get revenge on you for making my hubby cry!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
what do ya think?lot's of father/son issues

while my pretty husband crys his eyes out in the back room leo goes on a shopping spree
leo:la la la la....spider chris
piper begins to tap her feet
piper:leo no i don't wanna burst out into song,it's too late at night
paige:doesn't have time...
phoebe:noo! go back to jerry
jerry:so after you apply the cream the rash goes away.what?where live?oh crap...
phoebe:your hair is shiny like donald trump
piper:your fired
paige:not cool
we then hear another cry from chris in the back..speaakig og chris...
i smack chris
me:what the hell is your problem?kick his ass! marysmary will kick his ass! hell,even charmed addict will kicj his ass and you sure as hell know i will
pairs:she's right..dude,do it for the future
chris:i'm leaving
me:what do you mean 'i'm leaving'
chris:my family hates me..paige called me a creepy registered sex offender from the future
me:so?
paris:i call ya that too
chris:aunt phoebe caught me at demonatrix again
me:only go there after 9,that's when phoebe takes her medicine
chris iper thinks i'm a wuss
paris:*cough** you are
me:eh! i still have the lap top..matter of fact
i go into the corner and type evily
me:mew ahahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahashahahahhaa
PARIS:THAT IS SO CREEPY!
me:heh..i know
chris:i know my true destiny now!
chris tuches a chinese food box and has a premenition
chris walks around in china having a good time until a poke'mon action figure falls on his head
chris:i must vanquish all poke'mon!!!
me:how the hell are you going to do that?
chris:i'll find a way
paris:you know what it's time for..
me:no!
paris:another random musical outburst!!!
me:must...run..
paris:it's gonna take some time to realise....but if you look inside i'm sure you'l find
chris orbs out and says something in chinese
me aris?it's time to kick some ass!!!!
paris:where's leo?
me:no first we gotta get some special items...roderick farrell ass whoopin' type
paris:hell yeah
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
leo's about to get jumped! keep the reveiws commin'