Post by Nite Owl on Jan 9, 2005 22:27:13 GMT -5
Author: i luv drew
little tears spilled forth like tiny raindrops upon the young one's face as the sound of laughter and joy bubbled forth in the air.The little one struggle to comprehend why he felt but failed misaberly.In the young one's anger he smashed the pot over and stormed off.But soon the complication grew and he had trouble breathing.Small gasps emited from the child's mouth and his face turned a deep cherry red.Suddenlt the child burnt up into a firely flame of red and swirls of red sournded him.It was painful and agonising but the child felt as if it was natural.It was getting harder and harder to breath and while the crowds watched upon this amazing fit the child disapeared suddenly and time itself litterally froze.
Phoenix688
Charmed Cafe Member
Posts: 413
(9/23/04 10:16 am)
Reply
ezSupporter
Re: Delcontinye
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It is an interesting start but maybe (and please don't take this as anything but honest critism) you could do a spellcheck before posting.
I can't wait to read what you have written next...please continue.
CharmedCrazed
Charmed Cafe Member
Posts: 188
(9/23/04 10:30 am)
Reply
Re: Delcontinye
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Not bad at all.. Kinda like a teaser.. I'm a little lost on what is going on,, but it a heck of a start.... I'm looking forward to more... continue..
little tears spilled forth like tiny raindrops upon the young one's face as the sound of laughter and joy bubbled forth in the air.The little one struggle to comprehend why he felt but failed misaberly.In the young one's anger he smashed the pot over and stormed off.But soon the complication grew and he had trouble breathing.Small gasps emited from the child's mouth and his face turned a deep cherry red.Suddenlt the child burnt up into a firely flame of red and swirls of red sournded him.It was painful and agonising but the child felt as if it was natural.It was getting harder and harder to breath and while the crowds watched upon this amazing fit the child disapeared suddenly and time itself litterally froze.
Phoenix688
Charmed Cafe Member
Posts: 413
(9/23/04 10:16 am)
Reply
ezSupporter
Re: Delcontinye
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is an interesting start but maybe (and please don't take this as anything but honest critism) you could do a spellcheck before posting.
I can't wait to read what you have written next...please continue.
CharmedCrazed
Charmed Cafe Member
Posts: 188
(9/23/04 10:30 am)
Reply
Re: Delcontinye
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not bad at all.. Kinda like a teaser.. I'm a little lost on what is going on,, but it a heck of a start.... I'm looking forward to more... continue..
