Post by thekiwicharmed on Apr 11, 2006 23:41:03 GMT -5
[CHapTER oNE]
The moon began to appear from its secret hiding place as the clouds blew northwards; its rays signifying much more then light, in fact, quite the reverse. A soft white glow shone into her room, enough to make out the rich off white colored carpet. As seconds flew by it became more apparent. The wind blew the curtains up and with the help of the moons rays made them look like a ghostly silhouette. The alarm clock, numbered eight fifty eight made the silence in the room feel that much more deftly. Hannah felt cold. Her body shivered, though she was not awake to do anything about it. The disprin packet which lay next to her bed was empty. Her skinny complexion was easily noticeable. Her long ash blonde hair lay messily around her head and shoulders.
Her white painted fingernails independently jammed awake, deciding to rip into the mattress. She was having another pain killer induced nightmare unlike any she'd ever experienced. Inside her head chaos bloomed. Even in her dreams she could not escape her life. She saw herself as she was when she was no older then eleven. Her mother looking like an angel figure, held her. Her father watched complacently from a small distance with a smile on his face. She could see herself via third person and became disheartened when her mother left her grip and began to walk away. Everything began to get smaller around her, and as her father etched closer with his arms stretched out lovingly he said to the little girl "it's okay Hannah."
She hugged him uncomfortably.
"It's okay. You'll be okay. I'll look after you".
Flashing forward she saw herself in her present state. Persisted, stressed, expected and abused. She was trying to get back to the way it was but it always wound up as the same old thing. Her father, now a shadowy figure standing further away from her, had a dark red glow surrounding him.
"My Wife" he screamed at the innocent little girl.
"My family!" he shouted again. Hannah felt his spite.
"My Job." he said quietly.
"My life!"
For a few seconds another male her age, relatively tall and good looking with ash blonde hair and blue eyes just like hers appeared and took her hand. All of a sudden, Hannah threw herself awake. She looked at the time and seeming somewhat rushed, sat up too quickly and took a heavy breath.
The hairbrush enjoyed itself as it wove through her silky hair. Hannah turned her blue light on and peered into the mirror at herself. Passively placing a silver earring into her right ear, she took a deep breath. She looked into her own eyes, she thought a smile would brighten the room, but she couldn't do it. She just stared placidly at her reflection for a while more, a feeling of numbness almost taking her over. Hannah didn't want to move, but she didn't want to stay where she was. The creaking sound of her door opening woke her up. She hadn't expected her father to return home early. The cold atmosphere circling her turned into icy remorse. Hannah, as if her traitor head demanded of her, looked up at her fathers face.
"Hannah, where do you think your going?"
"Shouldn't you be out looking for a job?" Her high pitched, innocent sounding voice answered without the slightest fear. Hannah, who had once looked up to her father's prestigious status as a
plastic surgeon and respected father had diminished some time ago. She blamed him because she knew he was doing shady things that it was because of him her mother moved away and divorced, leaving the two to fend for each other.
"You're staying home tonight missy" he dodged the question. Hannah stood up, took one look at him and proceeded past him and into the hall. His blood began to boil.
"Hannah, you better get back to your room right now. Did you hear what I said to you?" She had already walked down to the end of the hall, but
this time for the first time, she stooped. Her icy blue eyes squinted.
Something about her father's sudden anger sent a chill down her spine.
She turned around to face him. Hannah noticed his eyes didn't look white, or even remotely pale. They were bloodshot; Hannah took a step forward to look a little closer. The whole hall seemed to be at a perfect standstill, the only thing making any noise was the large antique grandfather clock standing triumphantly to the left of the stairway. The time read nine ten, not that either Hannah or her father cared the slightest bit about.
"What is it, Dad? I'm meeting Cassidy in a few minutes. Okay?" she asked him timidly. Hannah suspected he was drugged up, she
saw it. His loss of job made some sense. Emotions whirled
through her fathers mind, he was only barely conscious to what he was
doing, but Hannah didn't understand.
"I want you to bloody listen to me, you spiteful little bitch. Cassidy
is no good for you. No good. I've been trying to tell you that, but you
never listen. Now get back into your room.”
In the vicinity of one minute, his first placid orders turning into low and croaky pitched threats.
"W... what?"
She stuttered talking to him. His subconscious wanting to tell her he
was sorry, but his mouth doing the talking insisted otherwise.
"Alright. I've asked you once. Now if you don't listen to me."
Something inside told her, at least not for the moment, to go anywhere
near her father. Taking a step back from her father was the
hardest thing. Hannah didn't dismiss his physical threat to her, but she refused to think that he would do anything to hurt her, even while under whatever influence but with her hand touching her chest and her right foot stepping back, her movements begged otherwise.
"Okay. I think you need to calm down. I'm going to go get some air; I'll be back in an hour." Hannah was getting ready to turn around, "You're not going anywhere.”
"What's your problem?" Hannah asked far too quickly.
Hannah watched as her father erupted in fury, his hands flying like broken windmill pieces flying out and then scantly retreating sideways, before pulling back in to a halt.
"You don't understand. You don't understand, Hannah. You and that bloody Cassidy. He's no good for you, you know that? No, you wouldn't because you are selfish. You don’t care and you don’t understand.”
"What's wrong with you?" She screamed at him so piercingly it was lucky
the hallways mirror didn't crack and shatter all over the floor.
"I've tried!" He began, laughing, looking towards the
ceiling as if talking to God
“But obviously I'm not trying hard enough! Now you listen to me-"
Hannah couldn't hold it in.
"Listen to you?" she raised her voice. The grandfather clock braced itself.
"I'm always listening to you, Dad." She couldn't control herself any
longer. "I've been trying and I know how hard it is to keep on going the way we are, but I really need some time. You tell me to stay home, I stay home. You ask me to cook dinner, I do it and yet you still keep mollycoddling me and you know what? I'm through. I'm through. I'm through!" her last gasp a final attempt
to explain herself; she couldn't find the right words. Hannah turned around slowly and ran down the stairs.
The kitchen door almost fell off its newly furnished hinges as she flew out of the house into the patio in an attempt run
around the side of the house. She could hear his footsteps etching closer, clomping heavily down the stairs. Quickly swerving her head around, she located her cell phone which, in the brink of the second began to ring. Looking at the screen and seeing the name "Cassidy," she quickly picked it up and answered it with:
"My dad's gone psycho, I'll be out in seconds!" then hung it up, threw
it into her jean pocket and attempted to bolt towards the patio's double doors. Hannah heard his footsteps. She looked out into the garden wanting nothing more then to be outside in a world she understood.
"You're not going anywhere" He shouted.
"You want to bet?" She hollered, twisting herself around, making her way angrily to the double doors. His right arm grabbed her collar. He didn't mean to do it, but the second his left arm began to take flight both he and Hannah could do nothing to stop the inevitable.
"Dad, let me go!"
She looked into his eyes, searching for answers. They were deluded. The sound in their ears ceased. All Hannah could hear was a deafening vacuum. She saw him watch her fumble backwards after plowing his fist into her left shoulder. Through his own eyes he witnessed his daughter gasp for breath, and then as if taken away by a huge burst of wind, veer out of balance, knock her chest on the kitchen bench and plummet helplessly to the floor. Time sped up one more; the sound in his ears returned and what he saw confused him.
"You're a psycho!" Hannah yelled at the top of her lungs, trying
but failing to get up.
"T,t,that’s what you get!" he burst out in stutter. Like a spider retreating, she lifted herself off the ground and crawled backwards as fast as she could until she slammed the back of her head into the glass door.
Her eyes were wide open, fixated mentally on his as she reached into her pocket and got out her cell phone. As she began to dial, he fled the scene, running in the direction of the downstairs bathroom. She saw him with one eye half open, slam the door shut and dart into the basin. As the minutes went by, silence echoed throughout the house. Nobody would have guessed that a seventeen year old abuse victim would be sitting in pain while her father, unable to gather any meaning, sat ten meters away in a bathroom staring blankly at the walls, when just minutes before things were completely different.
Hearing the patio doors unlock he threw him up and out of the bathroom and just like Hannah, slammed the door so hard it took a miracle to keep it on its hinges.
She looked up and saw her dark brown haired savior.
“You’re here…”
"Get the hell away from her!" Her father hollered, running like a
madman into the kitchen. Cassidy threatened a knife at her father. He saw the blade and backed off.
"Come on Hannah, quick get up, I'll get you out of here." His voice was
croaky and mid pitched. The brown haired boy picked Hannah up,
put his arm around her waist and turned in the other direction.
“I hope your damn happy now Hannah!”
He ran so fast Hannah didn't even get a chance to look back.
"It's okay. You'll be okay. I'll look after you".
