New Story - Not Sure of a Title

[aimalynx]

So, this is just another typical high school drama. Full of ups & downs, backstabbing, parties, losing friends, gaining friends, etcetc. Let me know what you think.
~~~~

“Hey Hales, you going to practice?” Ashley DeNardo asked her best friend, halfway through last period English.
“Yeah, you are going to the party tonight, right?” Hayleigh Wright responded.
“Of course. Is Matt going?”
“Nah, he said he had to work.” Hayleigh replied. Matt was Hayleigh’s boyfriend of just over a year. “I told him I might go and might not.”
“Well, I think Kevin is going to stop by after he gets out of work at nine.” Ashley said, with a grin.
“Ashley, for the last time. Kevin and I are just friends. I don’t plan on ending anything with Matt anytime soon.” Hayleigh told her. Kevin was one of Ashley’s friends from elementary school but transferred into Hayleigh’s junior high school, where they had became really good friends.
“I know, I know.” Ashley sighed.
“Well, I have to go get Ally after practice for the doctors. I’ll call you when I get out.” Hayleigh told her as she began putting her books back in her bag.
“All right. Sounds good.” Ashley nodded.
At that moment the bell rang and everyone hurried out of class. Being on of the captains of the cheerleading squad, Hayleigh had to literally run to the locker room to get ready for practice.
After quickly changing into her shorts and tank top, Hayleigh began rolling out the mats.
“Hey, Hales.” A voice said. Hales was the nickname that her father had given her, before he died. At first, she would freak out if anyone called her that but soon after, she began to only let her real close friends use it.
Easily recognizing it as her boyfriend, she stopped what she was doing.
“Hey, Matt.” She greeted him with a hug and a kiss. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, just wanted to see you.” Matt said, nonchalantly leading her to the corner of the gym, out of sight to anyone in halls because of the bleachers.
“Well, that’s nice.” Hayleigh smiled.
“Mmhmm.” Matt said, leaning in for a kiss.
“You know, I have practice in five minutes.” She reminded him. Matt just smiled.

A few minutes later, Hayleigh heard the gym door open.
“Hales? You here yet?” Her friend and co-captain, Lindsay Camp, yelled.
“I gotta go.” She said to Matt.
“Okay.” He nodded. “I’ll talk to you later.”
After receiving another kiss, she turned and ran over to the locker room where Lindsay was waiting.
“Hey Lin. How’s it going?”
Hearing the gym door shut, Lindsay automatically looked around the corner to see Matt leaving. Shaking her head with a laugh, she responded,
“It’s good. You ready for practice?”
“Uh-huh.” Hayleigh nodded.
“Well, let’s go. The girls are coming in now.”
~~~

So, what do you think?

[aimalynx]

Here's Chapter 2. I'll post it but can someone lemme know if they've read it? I've never gotten any criticism on my original stories before and it would be much appreciated.

~~~~

Two hours later, Hayleigh and Allyson were pulling into the parking lot of their doctor’s office. Allyson was one of Hayleigh’s two best friends, who had graduated the year before. Alexis Waters was the other.
“So, what are you up to tonight?” Ally asked as they walked into the building.
“There’s a party at Megan’s house that me and Ashley are going too.” Hayleigh replied.
“Oh, got’cha. Is Matt going?” She asked.
“Nah, he has to work the night shift.”
“Aw, that sucks.” Ally never really had liked Matt but kept it hidden from everyone. There was just something about him that didn't seem right.
“Yeah, but now I get to just have a night out with the girls for once, which is nice.” Hayleigh pointed out.
“That is true.” Ally agreed.
“Allyson Holmes?” The nurse called. “Hayleigh Wright?”
“Oh, our turn. Fun fun.” Ally said, standing up. Catching Hayleigh’s hesitation, Ally pulled her to her feet and led her back to the exam room.
“Hey, girls.” Dr. Smith greeted. “Who’s going first today?”
“I will.” Ally volunteered and hopped up onto the bench.

About an hour later, the two girls were leaving the doctor’s office.
“How is it that you’re so comfortable doing that?” Hayleigh asked.
“I’m not, but I figure I’m perfectly healthy so it’s no big deal.” Ally replied.
“Ugh, I hate it.” Hayleigh said, slowing down to stop at a stop sign.
“You’ll get used to it eventually, trust me.”
“I hope so.”
After driving for a few more minutes, Hayleigh pulled into Ally’s driveway.
“Okay, well, have fun tonight and be careful. Alex and me are just gunna be hanging at her house tonight so call us if you get bored or something.” Ally told her.
“I will.” Hayleigh nodded.
“I’ll talk to you later then. Love you! Bye!” Allyson said, getting out of the car.
“Love you too.” Hayleigh responded.
After watching Ally get into her house, Hayleigh pulled out of the driveway.
Not even two minutes later, her cell phone started ringing.
“Hey, Ash. What’s up?”
“Got some not so good news. Mom and Dad decided to go out tonight so I have to baby-sit the twins.” Ashley told her.
“So, no party?” Hayleigh asked.
“No party.” She replied.
“Damn, well, I guess I’ll see if Lindsay is still going.” Hayleigh sighed.
“All right, sorry, Hales.”
“It’s okay but I gotta go. Ally’s beeping in. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, later.”
“Bye.” Hayleigh quickly switched over to her other call. “Hello?”
“Hey, can you come back to my house? Cam just called and I can’t get my car to start and I need to call – call, uh, Mrs. Waters.” Ally sounded frantic.
“Hey, whoa, Ally, slow down.” Hayleigh quickly pulled into a driveway and turned around. “I’m on my way back. What happened?”
“Um, I’m not sure. I just checked my machine and Cam called. Alex was in an accident.” Ally explained. “She’s in the hospital.”
“What? Is she gunna be okay?”
“I don’t know. No one knows.”
“Okay, I’m coming down your street now. I’ll be at your house in less than a minute.” Hayleigh told her.
Pulling into the driveway, Hayleigh saw Ally coming down her front steps towards the car.
“Which hospital is she at?” Hayleigh asked.
“San Francisco Memorial.” Ally answered and Hayleigh took off down the road.

~~~

Please comment?

[vanillabliss]

[glow=violet,2,300]nice...you should double space though..lol not trying to be mean, but it makes it easier to read. Also, A plot would be nice this is mostly teenagers talking back and forth about the party. It does have potential though. [/glow]