Love Or Death?

[Prue's Empath]

On my new site Charmed: A Vision In Time, I and Destiny Halliwell, are working on this story...If you read each piece it becomes more sad and more touching and heartfelt with each sentence! We would like some reviews if possible...thanks hope you all enjoy!

Some background Information:

Aubrey Ann Halliwell is the daughter of Prue Halliwell.Prue and Andy were brought back as whitelighters and later had Aubrey and Serena,Aubrey's younger sister.Aubrey has many powers:Heat and Compression,Telekinesis,Orbing,and Healing.

Destiny Halliwell is the daughter of Phoebe Halliwell and the Coop Cupid.Destiny has Teleporting,Telepathy, Glamour, and Preminitions.
Aubrey and Destiny are Cousins and are very close!

Cole Turner,Phoebe's ex-demonic husband,is back and has fallin' in love with Prue's daughter, Aubrey.He's still a demon and he was transferred from a parallel world back to their world!
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Part 1


Aubrey was running from the demon as he chased her down into the dark alley.She read the signs as none of them seemed familiar.Racing through the way looking for somewhere to hide.She ran and hid behind a trash can. The demon appeared before the trash can ,but she could tell he couldn't see her. "Come out you little witch!" He yelled. She threw her foot out and tripped him.

She waved her hand and sent him flying into the wall.As he got up she held up her palm and started pulling it into a fist.He started yelling with pain as he became visible from the heat. He turned redder and redder.She reached her fist stage and the demon exploded.Aubrey turned to hear footsteps.


Destiny walks up to Aubrey, Destiny looks at her and exclaims, " BOOO!" Destiny says giggling, "Aw man I missed demon butt kicking!" Destiny helps Aubrey to her feet.

Destiny says smiling, " I was just wondering if we could go to the mall together get a bite to eat you know?" Destiny looks at Aubrey with delight in her eyes and fearlessness when a demon comes and gets on top of Destiny and Aubrey. Destiny fights the demon. Destiny says a spell and then throws a potion at he demon killing it loudly screaming and cursing at it.

Aubrey smiled and started to nod as only to see a demon appear in the distance. A few seconds later 5 other's appeared."I'll take 3 you take the other three...ready...GO!"Aubrey yelled as she waved her hand sending two of them flying into the walls.She compressed her hands together killing the two against the wall. the last one came at her and kicked her in the chest.

She flew a few feet backwards and then quickly jumped to her feet.She inched toward him then waved him into the wall.She compressed her hand once again.The demon turned red ,and exploded into pieces.Aubrey turned to Destiny and yelled to her,"need any help?"

Destiny exclaims, "None!" While Teleporting out she read a demons mind and stopped him She kicked him the chest sending him flying backwards, She quickly pulls up a spell"Demon of unknown,no longer may you have this Halliwell,Vanquish now from this dwell,I send you off to a never ending Hell!" The demon then kabooms into nothing. Destiny wipes off her jacket, "Nothing I can't handle!"

Destiny turns to Aubrey suddely frowning, "I really need an active power! My mom with her non-active powers! "Destiny exclaims, "Mall now or later? "Destiny runs to the mall before Aubrey could answer. Destiny exclaims, "Come catch me!" Destiny teleports herself and Aubrey outside the mall, then runs into the mall. Destiny exclaims, "your coming or not!?"

Aubrey smiled and chased behind Destiny. They entered a Hot Shop for women with great bodies.Aubrey ran over to a few belly shirts and looked at the prices."Wow this stuff is cheap!"She said as she reached into her bra and pulled out some money.She had $1200."Singing and dancing pays off!" She said as she pulled a bunch of things onto the counter.

She waited for Destiny as she handed $200 to the man.He smiled as he gave her the change.Aubrey looked around for Destiny."Destiny hurry up...I'm gonna leave you!"She kidded as the man placed everything into bags.Aubrey smiled as she took the bags.

Destiny exclaims, "Yeah well acting and dancing pays off and part time modeling!" Destiny picks out her clothes and goes to the cash register and pays for the clothes. Destiny flirts with the guy. Destiny says," Ok well.... call me I got to go!"

Destiny runs to the food court to meet Aubrey. Destiny says, "Ok... I want some pizza!" Destiny says while talking to her best guy friend, "how 'bout you Aubrey?"

Aubrey smiles " No just a diet Coke for me...so that is 1 Pizza and 1 Diet Coke...What kinda pizza and do you want a soda,Destiny?"Aubrey asks turning to Destiny.She looks at the guy behind the counter, taking their order."You know your to cute to be working here!"She said blushing as he smiled.

"I Must earn money somehow...and thank you...your so hott!"
He said looking at her flowing blond hair.

Aubrey smiles"You want my number?"She asks looking at him as he hands her a napkin and a pen.She quickly writes it down as the food comes up to the counter.She bits her lip"Call me sometime!"She winks and smiles.

"What your name?"He says as he hands them the pizza.

"Aubrey Halliwell, and this is my cousin Destiny Halliwell!"

He gave a devilish smile"The Halliwell sisters daughters'!"

"Yeah I'm Prudence daughter...She is Phoebe's daughter...why?"
Aubrey asks concerned as he looked at them oddly.

"Oh just wondering...I love Phoebe's column!"
He says smiling at Aubrey.

Aubrey nods and smiles back.

Destiny exclaims, "Ya! sure homie!" Destiny talks to her best guy friend Hayden, "What were you saying?" Hayden says, "So are you still going out with Brad?" Destiny says, " Yeah why?" Hayden answers quickly really nervously,"Oh no reason!"

Destiny exclaims, "Aubrey! That dude like's my mom!" "Ew!" Destiny says, " so after this what do you feel like doing?" "because... I'm skipping homework!" Hayden says, "well... I got to go! bye Destiny! bye Aubrey!" Destiny says,"bye!" "so Aubrey what are you wanna go do tonight?"

Aubrey smiled the guy behind the counter giggled and handed me the soda.

"It's my treat!" He said as he blushed.I smiled and walked over to a table and awaited Destiny's arrival.Her and that Hayden dude need to hook up...Aubrey said to herself.Aubrey sipped at her diet coke with joy.

Destiny says," Well...bye Hayden!" Hayden says, "bye Destiny!"
Destiny thinks in her head, "what the hell would he want to talked to me about!?"

Destiny walks up to Aubrey. Destiny says, "Hey! What's up?!!"
Destiny thinks in her head, "Aubrey must have a new crush!?"

Aubrey smiles"He likes ya Des!"She says giggling."Let's go home!"Aubrey says standing up.She turns and throws the empty diet coke in the trash.She grabs the bags full of new clothes and begins to walk out of the pizza parlor."You coming?!"Aubrey yelled to Destiny.

Destiny exclaims, "yes I'm coming" she runs up to Aubrey, "Are you sure he likes me!?" Destiny thinks in her head "He likes me! Me! I thought he always was cute but....."

Aubrey smiled and nods"Don't be afraid you like him to...I can tell...now can we go home?"Aubrey asked as they hid behind a door and Destiny teleported them home...at least that's what they thought.

......................................................................................................................That's all for now...Part 2 available after a few reviews!

Hope you enjoy!

[~:*Destiny*:~]

I love it, lol hehe bc it's by u and me! lol

[pipercharmedphreak]

Cute! I really liked the first couple of paragraphs!

[~:*Destiny*:~]

Awww... thank you pipercharmedphreak for that fabulous comment! For that you will be blessed!

Part 2

Aubrey and Destiny touched down onto an old squeaky floorboard...as they landed they fell to the ground from the sudden glitch in their teleporting process.Aubrey slowly stood up and looked around."Destiny were did you teleport us to!" She asked loudly.

Destiny says, " I don't know my powers are messing up!" "I can't even read your mind!"

Destiny walks out to some tunnel. Destiny screams, "anyone down there!?"

Destiny hears nothing so she walks down the tunnel. Destiny screams, "Aubrey are you coming!?"

Aubrey rushes after her."Where are we?"Aubrey asks as they come out of the other end of the tunnel.They walk up these stairs and they arrive at a black street in front of their house.The manor to their eyes is black the windows red."What is this pla..."


"Somebody HELP ME!" A lady yelled running by them.Aubrey looked at her as she shoved them onto the ground.A truck started to come as they rolled out of the way.Aubrey stood up quickly."What the?"She said looking around at this weird place.

Destiny says, "What the hell happened to the manor!" "And.... what the hell was the deal with that old fart!?"

Destiny tries to teleport but can't. Destiny says," I can't teleport!" Destiny screams. Destiny says, " Does any of your powers work?"

Aubrey shrugs.She waves her hand and sends a trash can flying.She then holds up her hand and pulls it into a fist to see the trashcan explode.Aubrey looks at Destiny then closes her eyes.She tries to astral project but can't."Teleporting kinda powers don't work cause I tried to Astral Project and I can't."

Aubrey said looking around at this weird world.She looked at the windows of the manor and seen a man standing there staring at them through the curtains.She looked at him and seem him staring at the exploded pieces falling to the ground.

...................................................................................................................... That's all for now...Part 3 available after a few reviews!

Hope you enjoy!

[Prue's Empath]

Thanks for the review honey!

I'm gonna go ahead and post another part!
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Part 4

Destiny says, "Who the hell is that Aubrey!?" Destiny runs up into the house's steps.

Destiny exclaims, "Are you coming or what!? I think my reading minds power is working again!"

Destiny bangs on door.


Aubrey runs up to Destiny and pulls her hand down."What are you doing...hey could evil!"Aubrey yells at Destiny."Glamour us into black clothes and stuff quickly!"Aubrey yells as suddenly DEstiny waves her hand and they turn into very sexy ladies with black clothing on.They look at the person who opened the door not smiling.

She moves and let's them in.Aubrey looks around and looks over to the window and seen a pretty hot man standing there.She whispers to Destiny"I'll be right back."She says as she makes her way over to him.She puts a hand on the window seal."So any hot girls out there?"She asked as she lay against the window in front of him.

Destiny whispers, "Aubrey No!" Destiny thinks to her self, "the things i do for family!"

Cole says, "Why hello there!"
Cole kisses her hand. Cole says, "What's the name miss?"

Aubrey smiles and giggles."Aubrey...Aubrey Ha...thoway...Aubrey Hathoway...and you?"Aubrey said covering herself up.She looked at him.In his eyes she could tell he knew something.She paid no attention to that and continued to await his answer.

Cole says, "Cole.... Cole Turner!" He nods as he says it.
Cole says, " And Aubrey what are you doing in a place like this?"
Cole whispers in her ear, "Because I know your a witch!"

Cole says, "I know who you are!"
Cole tightens his grip.
Cole whispers," Your Prue Halliwell's daughter!"

Destiny runs up to Aubrey and says, "Let's get out of here!"

Aubrey looks at Cole."How do you...No Destiny!"Aubrey says as Destiny started pulling her away from Cole.She gripped onto Cole's arm and suddenly Aubrey just wanted to be somewhere else.Aubrey orbed taking Cole and Destiny into the underworld.Everybody turned to see the orbs and they started yelling.Aubrey landed on the ground on top of Cole.

Destiny landed on the ground and rolled a few feet.Aubrey looked at Cole.

Cole says, " Your in danger!"
Cole kisses her and says, "My powers aren't working for some reeason!"
Destiny walks up and says, "This is no time for a demon make-out secisson you just took us to the Underworld!"
Destiny punches Cole.
Destiny says, "Stay away from my cousin you demon!"

Aubrey felt something like a spark.Aubrey pushes Destiny away."I can handle myself!"She says as she looks at Cole.She touches her lips and walks over to Cole."What do you mean...danger?"She asks looking at him.She places a hand on his cheek and closes her eyes.


Cole says," Demons especially since we're in the Underworld." "here I'll take you girls over to the manor."
Cole grabs Aubrey and Destiny and shimmers away.

Cole says, "so tell me........... how'd you get here!?"


Aubrey looks at him"we were actually on our way home and some how a glitch hit Destiny's teleporting and I just found I can orb!"Aubrey says smiling.She looks at Destiny's grim face.Aubrey likes Cole.She actually thinks she may love him.Right now it's to soon to know.

Destiny says, "Well.... then can you take us back there?"
Cole says, "Yes I can under one condition!"
Destiny says, "what's the condition!?"
Cole says, " Aubrey has to be my girlfriend!"

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Here is the update! we would love reviews! so send them in please!!

We are getting into the good parts!

[noazmale]

Well, I promised to review your story so here goes. As far as the technical aspect, it needs a little work. There are many spots where words are misspelled or missing and it makes reading it a bit difficult. Also, and this is only a personal observation, I noticed that most of your dialogue starts in the middle of a paragraph. While it's not technically wrong I did find it difficult to follow sometimes. There were also a lot of places where the spacing wasn't correct creating some run-on sentences of sorts.

<Aubrey smiled and started to nod as only to see a demon appear in the distance. A few seconds later 5 other's appeared."I'll take 3 you take the other three...ready...GO!"Aubrey yelled as she waved her hand sending two of them flying into the walls.She compressed her hands together killing the two against the wall. the last one came at her and kicked her in the chest.>

I also found your use of present tense somewhat difficult to read. Here, again, this is not incorrect and is perfectly acceptable in writing. I simply prefer past tense writing (i.e. instead of "she teleports" I would use "she teleported").

As for the story itself, you don't mention how old the girls are in it. I'm assuming from the descriptions and such that they're high school age maybe somewhere between 13 and 16 or so. I did find them to be a bit too flippant while they were fighting demons. And you had two of them taking on six demons and vanquishing them with no problems whatsoever. There was no indication who or what the demons were or why they were after the girls.

I also found that they seemed to have an awful lot of powers.

<While Teleporting out she read a demons mind and stopped him She kicked him the chest sending him flying backwards, She quickly pulls up a spell"Demon of unknown,no longer may you have this Halliwell,Vanquish now from this dwell,I send you off to a never ending Hell!" The demon then kabooms into nothing. Destiny wipes off her jacket, "Nothing I can't handle!">

This particular part just seemed unbelieveable. She teleports and at the same time reads a demon's mind. And she stops him but yoiu don't explain how she's able to do that simply by reading his mind. And it appeared to be a little convenient that she just happened to have a spell ready.

To be perfectly honest, it just seemed to me that the girls were super witches. Enough powers so that no demon could touch them and not really concerned with fighting demons because they knew they couldn't be beaten. It seemed a little too fast paced. (The girls are fighting demons and a paragraph or two later they're in the mall flirting with someone.) And I'm pretty sure it would have been stressed over and over again to them about using their powers in public needlessly (teleporting to the mall) without very good reason.

I think this story has potential. You mention at the beginning that Cole is interested in one of the girls and this can be a good source of tension between those two and Phoebe. (Assuming that any of the original cast are in the story, of course.)

It did appear that you had each dialogue in it's own paragraph which is good. A lot of people put more than one person's comments in the same paragraph which is incorrect. I also liked that you had a blank space between each paragraph. It makes the story easier to follow.

Jerry

[~:*Destiny*:~]

(nice review but this is based on an RPG site by Aubrey and we follow one main plot! But, if you'd go on the site you'd get it. Thanks! ;D)

Part 4

Aubrey looks up at this and stares into Cole's eyes.Aubrey looks into Destiny's eyes."Ok...I'll...I"ll do it!"Aubrey says and looks at Cole with a half smile.She kisses him softly on the lips.She holds him close and looks at Destiny.She lips to her...I'm sorry...

Destiny says,"Fine let's go then!"
Destiny grabs onto Cole.
Cole shimmers them out to the real world at the mall.
Destiny says, "I know it was all for good!"
Destiny sees Hayden walking up toward her.

Hayden runs and gives her a hug."What happened...I have been searching for you for hours!"He said looking at her.

Aubrey turns to Cole."Cole how long do I have to do this?"She asks looking at him as he wouldn't release her.She stares into his eyes.

Cole says, "I know you like me how about forever?"

Destiny says," Well...... just getting into trouble!"

Hayden looks at her like she's crazy.

Aubrey looks at Cole."I don't think I can...if my aunt's and mother find out they will vanquish you...I can't do this!"Aubrey says trying to pull away form Cole's grasp.He became more and more harder to control.

Destiny says, "Well... Hayden um..... what did you want to tell me at the mall?"
Destiny says while playing with her hair.

Cole says," We're going out no matter what!"
Cole kisses her.

Destiny says," Hayden, ignore them!" "So what we're you going to tell me at the mall?"

Hayden takes Destiny's hand."I love...you...I want to be with you...I want you and whoever your going out with to break-up...I want you cause I love you!"Hayden says he leans in and kisses her.


Aubrey pulls back form Cole."I can't do this...you can't make me love you!"She said even though she knew inside she did.His grip once again tightened.

Destiny kisses him back when her boyfriend, Brad pops up.
Brad says, "Yo! Hayden why you mackin' on my girl!"
Destiny says, "Brad we are so over because A. Your a jerk and B. your disgusting!"
Destiny says,"I accept Hayden!" Then, they kissed.

Cole then shimmered Aubrey and him into a dark forest.

That's it for Part 4 get ready for Part 5. Please review!

[~B@MeLiSsA30@B~]

Not bad at all. It was confusing at moments, but maybe thats because I'm still trying to wake up. LOL. It was good though.

[~*Alicia*~]

Great story!!