thetriforever
Familiar
[glow=green,2,200]Prue Fan Club Member
Paige Fan Club Member[/glow]
Billie fanclub member
Posts: 134
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Post by thetriforever on Mar 18, 2006 10:13:38 GMT -5
Sometimes, but I was trying to give the story to u guys along time ago, but my computer kept on freezing up when I pushed post reply
So, who want's a part two? It will be better than this one, I was just trhowing stuff together.
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Post by vanillabliss on Mar 19, 2006 0:06:32 GMT -5
Ok, first of all not bad. However, it could use ALOT of work. Iv written alot fo fan fics before lol....and uh your plot needs working on, and you need to double space. Also to help readers get a better feel for jenny, you might could include a bio of jenny and mybe her thoughs and feelings. When i read this it....it just doesnt have any emotion. I feel like reading a boring dialog between very bad actors, there just lines. You need to give them some life, or your not going to get many readers. Sorry if i sound rude, but you said you need criticism. These are just my suggestions. Again, sorry fi i offended, and believe me i KNOW its hard. Sometimes i drive myself crazy thinking of the plot, characters personalitys, setting and so forth It;s not easy i know. good luck!  |
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thetriforever
Familiar
[glow=green,2,200]Prue Fan Club Member
Paige Fan Club Member[/glow]
Billie fanclub member
Posts: 134
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Post by thetriforever on Mar 25, 2006 9:24:19 GMT -5
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
I've been looking for some criticism for a long time, and I did need some help, also this was only my first FF so I was trying to get it out so quick I wasnt thinking about any of the things that make a good story. Oh and be on the look out for a better story by me cuz this time, Ill think about it and the plot to make it better than any of those writers have ever writin (hopefully)
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