Post by alchemystik32 on Mar 19, 2005 23:41:19 GMT -5
A Comedy/Satire/Adventure Rated PG-13. Enjoy!
~* The Veil Of Time *~
By: Alchemystik32
Towards The Light; Or...We're Off To See The Pruester!
*****
I died the way I had lived; Not having a freaking clue as to what was going on. I knew that my jaunt into the past was basically a suicide mission, but I didn't know just how screwed I was going to be.
I think I've won. For now, at least. Gideon's plot uncovered, my parents reunited, my brother safe. I did my best, gave my all and how was I rewarded?
I'm stuck in Limbo, and just where are the flowers and crap my ditzy aunts were always blathering about? Huh?
No flowers, birds, peace and love here. I've got thunder and lightning. And rain. Tons of rain. Like the rain when Mom decided to drown San Fran. I am SO not a Autumn, people!
And what's with that light? There's this really bright light over this miserable wet hill, shining like it's the grand opening of the new Wal-Mart Super Center.
Pissed? ME?!
Ok, I'll tone it down a notch or ten. I'm just frustrated beyond belief. I can't go forward to the future, I can't go sideways, back to where I was. What's left?
Yeah, I KNOW the past is the only other option, but let me clue you in on a few things here.
The thought of the past? Scares the crap outta me. No, I don't know why! If I knew why I wouldn't be scared, right?
Ok, I might still be scared, but at least I'd know why. Right now? Nada, zip, zero. Clue bus just passed me right by.
And this voice is whispering to me to go towards the light...
Right.
Do I LOOK that dumb? I've seen the movies, dude. You go towards the light, and you don't come back, and no I don't know why I want to come back, I just know I do. Or have to. Or something.
Ok, I'll do the light, but if I end up yelling " They're BAAACCCKKK! " from inside the T.V. set, I'm gonna be really pissed.
*****
Hmm. So this is the other side? No white fluffy clouds, or old guys in robes. Just miles and miles of...
Nothing. Well, almost nothing. There's just a brunette in tight jeans and a t-shirt looking like I'm something she just picked off the bottom of her shoe. She looks a tad familiar, though, like I've either seen her before. Or someone that looks like her. Hey, she looks like a meaner version of Aunt Paige...
Oh, crap.
I've got a feeling; and it's not a good one, either.
" Took you long enough. "
" Excuse me? "
" To decide that your only way out was through the light. I've been waiting for you. "
" Why? "
" I'm your guide on the first part of your journey; Lucky me. Wonder who I pissed off. "
" I'm going to guess the list is long but distinguished. "
" Zip it, Junior. I'm your dearly departed Aunt Prue. I'm sure I've been mentioned around the old family homestead once or twice. "
Great, what do I say now? This is one mean looking chick. And what's with the weird eyes? Ok, time to turn on the infamous Halliwell charm.
" Wow! Aunt Prue! What an honor! I'm...I'm...you're not buying this, are you? "
" As if. C'mon, let's go, I don't have all frickin' century. "
" We are we going? "
" To where it all started. "
" And that would be? "
" A long time ago, in a place far, far away. "
" Thank you, George Lucas. "
" Nice. You're about as charming as that bony bimbo I used to call sister. Move it out, skinny boy. "
Yeah, this is going to be fun. Why don't you come along? I can use some company, and who knows, we may just learn something.
Is it possible to die again? And get it right this time?
*****
" Well? "
" Well what? " I asked. Jeez, she was about as warm as the Tundra in January.
" Am I still remembered? "
" Um...sure! Sure you are! Mom mentioned you alot! So did Aunt Phoebe. "
" Uh huh. I'm sure Aunt Phoebe had loads of nice things to say. "
" Well, you know Aunt Phoebe..."
" Unfortunately. "
I smirked. I couldn't help it, I was afraid she'd hurt me if she saw it, but I had to smirk a bit. She was almost as much of a bitch as Aunt Phoebe had said she was. I was beginning to like her.
" I'm going to guess that you and Mom had a closer relationship than you and Aunt Phoebe. "
" Gee...ya think? "
That did it. I had to giggle, and once I started, I couldn't stop. It turned into a full blown guffaw, followed by a few nose snorts. Aunt Prue waiting patiently, keeping up a steady pace at my side.
" Sorry. "
" Not a problem. Sigh...ok, let me fill you in on the past. "
And, boy, did she fill me in! The relationship between Aunt Prue and Aunt Phoebe made the Osbournes look like the Osmonds. Through miles of nothing she talked. I'll give ya a little synopsis...
Aunt Phoebe was the family free-spirit. Apparently, "free" was a word used frequently to describe Aunt Phoebe, but we won't go there; at least not now.
Mom was an anal retentive hyper neurotic, Aunt Prue was a hard nosed, intolerant..um..witch, and Aunt Phoebe was a loose moraled nitwit. Oh, and, my father was a wuss...no surprise there. Uncle Cole sounded kinda cool, until his bicycle slipped it's chain. Guy was a couple of channels short of a basic cable package, if you get my meaning, but I get the sneaking suspicion that Aunt Prue had the secret hots for him...
" Oh, I did not! "
" Um..excuse me? Did I say that outloud? "
" Nope, but I can read your thoughts, so just watch it, kid. "
Oh, perfect. I'd say " What else? " But I've learned not to tempt fate anymore than necessary.
Something was different up ahead. I could see doors...lots of doors.
Uh huh. I always guessed wrong when I played along at home to the game shows. Yeah, guys would be getting cruises and new cars, and I got the frost-free fridge, and the cheap-ass stereo system that lasted about 10 minutes once I cranked up The Beastie Boys.
Now, I'm pretty sure that those doors led to places unknown but necessary. Parting the proverbial Veil Of Time wasn't going to be easy; and it was probably going to hurt, too. Great.
" I like that. "
" Excuse me? "
" You're excused, and stop saying that, please. I said, I liked that Veil Of Time thing. And, you're right. It's not going to be easy. It never is. "
" So, it's gonna be a Door #1, 2 or 3 kinda thing? "
" Exactly. Except there's a few more doors. "
" How many more? "
" A few. "
" Can you read my thoughts now? "
" Loud and clear, and watch your mouth, young man. "
I didn't like her quite so much anymore. Gal was too sassy for her own good.
" I don't suppose you're going to help me choose? "
" Nope. In fact, I'm off duty as soon as I deliver you to the doors. "
" Huh. So soon? "
" Yeah, you're all broke up about it, aren't you? "
" Sure. Who's next? "
" Can't tell ya, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. "
She smirked. She didn't care if I saw, and she knew she could take me in a fight, so she smirked her black little heart out.
Not feeling the love anymore.
I'll meet ya at the doors. And you all can stop smirking anytime now...
*****
~* The Veil Of Time *~
By: Alchemystik32
Towards The Light; Or...We're Off To See The Pruester!
*****
I died the way I had lived; Not having a freaking clue as to what was going on. I knew that my jaunt into the past was basically a suicide mission, but I didn't know just how screwed I was going to be.
I think I've won. For now, at least. Gideon's plot uncovered, my parents reunited, my brother safe. I did my best, gave my all and how was I rewarded?
I'm stuck in Limbo, and just where are the flowers and crap my ditzy aunts were always blathering about? Huh?
No flowers, birds, peace and love here. I've got thunder and lightning. And rain. Tons of rain. Like the rain when Mom decided to drown San Fran. I am SO not a Autumn, people!
And what's with that light? There's this really bright light over this miserable wet hill, shining like it's the grand opening of the new Wal-Mart Super Center.
Pissed? ME?!
Ok, I'll tone it down a notch or ten. I'm just frustrated beyond belief. I can't go forward to the future, I can't go sideways, back to where I was. What's left?
Yeah, I KNOW the past is the only other option, but let me clue you in on a few things here.
The thought of the past? Scares the crap outta me. No, I don't know why! If I knew why I wouldn't be scared, right?
Ok, I might still be scared, but at least I'd know why. Right now? Nada, zip, zero. Clue bus just passed me right by.
And this voice is whispering to me to go towards the light...
Right.
Do I LOOK that dumb? I've seen the movies, dude. You go towards the light, and you don't come back, and no I don't know why I want to come back, I just know I do. Or have to. Or something.
Ok, I'll do the light, but if I end up yelling " They're BAAACCCKKK! " from inside the T.V. set, I'm gonna be really pissed.
*****
Hmm. So this is the other side? No white fluffy clouds, or old guys in robes. Just miles and miles of...
Nothing. Well, almost nothing. There's just a brunette in tight jeans and a t-shirt looking like I'm something she just picked off the bottom of her shoe. She looks a tad familiar, though, like I've either seen her before. Or someone that looks like her. Hey, she looks like a meaner version of Aunt Paige...
Oh, crap.
I've got a feeling; and it's not a good one, either.
" Took you long enough. "
" Excuse me? "
" To decide that your only way out was through the light. I've been waiting for you. "
" Why? "
" I'm your guide on the first part of your journey; Lucky me. Wonder who I pissed off. "
" I'm going to guess the list is long but distinguished. "
" Zip it, Junior. I'm your dearly departed Aunt Prue. I'm sure I've been mentioned around the old family homestead once or twice. "
Great, what do I say now? This is one mean looking chick. And what's with the weird eyes? Ok, time to turn on the infamous Halliwell charm.
" Wow! Aunt Prue! What an honor! I'm...I'm...you're not buying this, are you? "
" As if. C'mon, let's go, I don't have all frickin' century. "
" We are we going? "
" To where it all started. "
" And that would be? "
" A long time ago, in a place far, far away. "
" Thank you, George Lucas. "
" Nice. You're about as charming as that bony bimbo I used to call sister. Move it out, skinny boy. "
Yeah, this is going to be fun. Why don't you come along? I can use some company, and who knows, we may just learn something.
Is it possible to die again? And get it right this time?
*****
" Well? "
" Well what? " I asked. Jeez, she was about as warm as the Tundra in January.
" Am I still remembered? "
" Um...sure! Sure you are! Mom mentioned you alot! So did Aunt Phoebe. "
" Uh huh. I'm sure Aunt Phoebe had loads of nice things to say. "
" Well, you know Aunt Phoebe..."
" Unfortunately. "
I smirked. I couldn't help it, I was afraid she'd hurt me if she saw it, but I had to smirk a bit. She was almost as much of a bitch as Aunt Phoebe had said she was. I was beginning to like her.
" I'm going to guess that you and Mom had a closer relationship than you and Aunt Phoebe. "
" Gee...ya think? "
That did it. I had to giggle, and once I started, I couldn't stop. It turned into a full blown guffaw, followed by a few nose snorts. Aunt Prue waiting patiently, keeping up a steady pace at my side.
" Sorry. "
" Not a problem. Sigh...ok, let me fill you in on the past. "
And, boy, did she fill me in! The relationship between Aunt Prue and Aunt Phoebe made the Osbournes look like the Osmonds. Through miles of nothing she talked. I'll give ya a little synopsis...
Aunt Phoebe was the family free-spirit. Apparently, "free" was a word used frequently to describe Aunt Phoebe, but we won't go there; at least not now.
Mom was an anal retentive hyper neurotic, Aunt Prue was a hard nosed, intolerant..um..witch, and Aunt Phoebe was a loose moraled nitwit. Oh, and, my father was a wuss...no surprise there. Uncle Cole sounded kinda cool, until his bicycle slipped it's chain. Guy was a couple of channels short of a basic cable package, if you get my meaning, but I get the sneaking suspicion that Aunt Prue had the secret hots for him...
" Oh, I did not! "
" Um..excuse me? Did I say that outloud? "
" Nope, but I can read your thoughts, so just watch it, kid. "
Oh, perfect. I'd say " What else? " But I've learned not to tempt fate anymore than necessary.
Something was different up ahead. I could see doors...lots of doors.
Uh huh. I always guessed wrong when I played along at home to the game shows. Yeah, guys would be getting cruises and new cars, and I got the frost-free fridge, and the cheap-ass stereo system that lasted about 10 minutes once I cranked up The Beastie Boys.
Now, I'm pretty sure that those doors led to places unknown but necessary. Parting the proverbial Veil Of Time wasn't going to be easy; and it was probably going to hurt, too. Great.
" I like that. "
" Excuse me? "
" You're excused, and stop saying that, please. I said, I liked that Veil Of Time thing. And, you're right. It's not going to be easy. It never is. "
" So, it's gonna be a Door #1, 2 or 3 kinda thing? "
" Exactly. Except there's a few more doors. "
" How many more? "
" A few. "
" Can you read my thoughts now? "
" Loud and clear, and watch your mouth, young man. "
I didn't like her quite so much anymore. Gal was too sassy for her own good.
" I don't suppose you're going to help me choose? "
" Nope. In fact, I'm off duty as soon as I deliver you to the doors. "
" Huh. So soon? "
" Yeah, you're all broke up about it, aren't you? "
" Sure. Who's next? "
" Can't tell ya, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. "
She smirked. She didn't care if I saw, and she knew she could take me in a fight, so she smirked her black little heart out.
Not feeling the love anymore.
I'll meet ya at the doors. And you all can stop smirking anytime now...
*****
