Post by shadowhisper on Feb 11, 2005 0:49:27 GMT -5
Disclaimer: I don’t own Charmed
Rating: PG
Author: Shadowhisper
Summary: No one can stop death but if you try hard enough you can postpone it. A desperate letter written in a desperate hour.
Title: Secret Letter
I have tried everything I can think of but nothing has worked. Another date has passed that I have come closer to death. Death? I have wished for it to come so many times in those cold dark nights but now that it’s so close…I want to run. Running isn’t an option, it will do no good. But I still wish I could run away from all my problems.
If I’m wishing then I wish Wyatt had never turned evil. I wish Mom hadn’t died. I wish Bianca hadn’t been fooled by Wyatt and died. I wish Grandpa hadn’t gotten lung cancer and died too. I wish so many people I love weren’t dead. But I already know just wishing won’t do any good. If you want something to happen, make it happen.
That’s why I’m here, to make Wyatt good. To make sure he doesn’t turn into a psycho power-hungry killer. To change history. To change death. Everyone says you can’t stop death but maybe you can change it. Maybe you can simply postpone death. Maybe they can all live just a little longer. Maybe they can live their full lives. Maybe isn’t much but it’s all I have.
I’m worried about my own death. “Seize to exist” that’s what they say will happen. I will literally seize to exist if I’m not conceived. Will it be painful? Will I just fade away? Will I remember my life? Will they remember me? What if they don’t remember me? They won’t remember that Wyatt will turn evil. What if they don’t remember that? Everything I have done, everything I have sacrificed will be for nothing. It can’t all be for nothing, it can’t be.
What do I do? What can I do? Nothing, I can’t do anything. I hate being helpless but I am. I can’t do anything; my fate is out of my hands. I have to trust in that higher power that has failed me so many times. The same power that has let everyone I love die. I have no other choice. Maybe it’s time I believe in something again. Believe everything will work out. I’m not a big believer but maybe I should start being one. Then again, I was never a believer in maybes. Listen to me, I’m trusting a higher power that I don’t even believe in to save my life. I really am desperate but desperate times call for despite measures. I need help.
I wish I had someone to talk to. I wish I had someone to tell me everything is going to be all right. I wish I had someone but I don’t. Not anymore. It’s just me all alone like always. Just me to work out hopeless complicated problems. Just me to mourn my own death. Just me. Always just me.
It use to be easier that way. I use to say it was my choice but it never was. They always just left, left me all alone. Now it’s my turn to leave. The only difference is I won’t be leaving anyone behind because I’m the last one. The last one alive, for now that is.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this down, no one will ever see this. I just needed to write the situation down and see it wasn’t hopeless but it didn’t work. I only proved it was more hopeless. I needed to see my own handwriting and see I’m still here. I’m still Christopher Perry Halliwell and I will always be, even in death.
Rating: PG
Author: Shadowhisper
Summary: No one can stop death but if you try hard enough you can postpone it. A desperate letter written in a desperate hour.
Title: Secret Letter
I have tried everything I can think of but nothing has worked. Another date has passed that I have come closer to death. Death? I have wished for it to come so many times in those cold dark nights but now that it’s so close…I want to run. Running isn’t an option, it will do no good. But I still wish I could run away from all my problems.
If I’m wishing then I wish Wyatt had never turned evil. I wish Mom hadn’t died. I wish Bianca hadn’t been fooled by Wyatt and died. I wish Grandpa hadn’t gotten lung cancer and died too. I wish so many people I love weren’t dead. But I already know just wishing won’t do any good. If you want something to happen, make it happen.
That’s why I’m here, to make Wyatt good. To make sure he doesn’t turn into a psycho power-hungry killer. To change history. To change death. Everyone says you can’t stop death but maybe you can change it. Maybe you can simply postpone death. Maybe they can all live just a little longer. Maybe they can live their full lives. Maybe isn’t much but it’s all I have.
I’m worried about my own death. “Seize to exist” that’s what they say will happen. I will literally seize to exist if I’m not conceived. Will it be painful? Will I just fade away? Will I remember my life? Will they remember me? What if they don’t remember me? They won’t remember that Wyatt will turn evil. What if they don’t remember that? Everything I have done, everything I have sacrificed will be for nothing. It can’t all be for nothing, it can’t be.
What do I do? What can I do? Nothing, I can’t do anything. I hate being helpless but I am. I can’t do anything; my fate is out of my hands. I have to trust in that higher power that has failed me so many times. The same power that has let everyone I love die. I have no other choice. Maybe it’s time I believe in something again. Believe everything will work out. I’m not a big believer but maybe I should start being one. Then again, I was never a believer in maybes. Listen to me, I’m trusting a higher power that I don’t even believe in to save my life. I really am desperate but desperate times call for despite measures. I need help.
I wish I had someone to talk to. I wish I had someone to tell me everything is going to be all right. I wish I had someone but I don’t. Not anymore. It’s just me all alone like always. Just me to work out hopeless complicated problems. Just me to mourn my own death. Just me. Always just me.
It use to be easier that way. I use to say it was my choice but it never was. They always just left, left me all alone. Now it’s my turn to leave. The only difference is I won’t be leaving anyone behind because I’m the last one. The last one alive, for now that is.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this down, no one will ever see this. I just needed to write the situation down and see it wasn’t hopeless but it didn’t work. I only proved it was more hopeless. I needed to see my own handwriting and see I’m still here. I’m still Christopher Perry Halliwell and I will always be, even in death.
-Christopher Perry Halliwell
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