Post by leigh19 on Dec 2, 2005 1:33:03 GMT -5
“Promises”
A young Haliwell’s thoughts in the aftermath of ‘Vaya Con Leos’
One Shot.
Spoilers for 8x10.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I often wish that the adults were not so determined to protect me.
They see me as the little baby.
The youngest…
And they seem to think that I’ll be better off if they exclude me from the goings on.
No one ever tells me anything, and they probably think that I am oblivious to the terrible things that happen in this house.
If only they knew the truth…if only I could tell them that I know…that I always know.
I can sense when things go wrong. I can sense when evil is present. I know when my family is hurt or scared. They can’t hide the truth from me, no matter how hard they try.
I wish they would just be honest. I wish they would just tell me what was going on…I’d like to know why they get scared…why they get hurt…
Wyatt tells me sometimes- he told me about the time that he had to heal mommy on the couch. He told me that daddy and the aunts were really worried, and that everything was okay once mommy woke up. I can remember how scared I felt that entire day; I had known that something had happened to mommy, but it had not become clear until Wyatt recounted the story that night.
Wyatt gets to see more then I do, but even my big brother doesn’t always know what’s going on. Sometimes, he’s just as lost as I am. He can sense the problems too, and we have both spent many sleepless nights worrying in our darkened room. We can sense when mom and the aunts leave the house, and I am often too frightened to rest until I know that they have arrived safely home. And even then, I hardly ever feel at ease. Sometimes I feel beings of great evil enter the house- one can never be sure when they’ll arrive. They are usually disposed of rather quickly, but there always seems to be another…and another…and another…
I cannot help but wonder if this constant appearance of evil and the never ending cycle of worry are simple facts of life.
Does everyone experience the same problems?
Can the other kids sense when their families are in trouble?
I once believed that the answer was yes…but the more that I play with other boys and girls the more I come to realize that they are not burdened with the same anxieties. I know that Wyatt and I are different- that our family is different- and yet I have been unable to figure out why.
I wish the adults would just tell me…things would be easier to comprehend if they gave me the straight facts. It appears, however, that they have no intention of doing so and I am forced to peruse my endless wonderings.
I am helpless to do anything but worry. I can feel the familiar tension in my chest at this very moment, and it has become glaringly apparent that something terrible happened last night.
My suspicions were first aroused when Aunt Paige arrived to pick up Wyatt and me from nursery school yesterday. Daddy was almost always the one who came to get us. It had become a comforting routine- one of the few dependable customs in my life. He would walk into the room with a big smile, scoop us up into his arms and give us each a gentle kiss.
“There’s my boys.” He’d say gently. “I missed you...”
But Daddy didn’t come last night. Instead, Aunt Paige had arrived, long after all of the other kids had gone home, and somberly helped us collect our things. I had exchanged a worried glance with Wyatt on the car ride home- Aunt Paige had barely said a word, and we could both hear the distinct sound of quiet sobs. We both knew that whatever happened had been very bad.
That evening, and the following day, did nothing to ease my fears. I could sense that mommy was upset; the moment we arrived at the house and she had given us each a teary kiss before quickly retiring to her room. I am yet to see her again, and I can only hope that her sadness will soon go away. The aunts had seemed very shaken too, although they managed to hide it better then mommy had. Aunt Phoebe kept flashing her toothy smile, as if trying to reassure us that everything would be just fine.
She wasn’t fooling me though. I knew that something was wrong.
She played with us almost all day- she didn’t go to work, and we didn’t go to school. We played blocks, and trucks, and dinosaurs…things that, on a normal day, I would have enjoyed greatly.
But not today…today, all I cared about was figuring out why they were all so sad.
I still cannot be sure what is going on. Like I said, no one tells me anything around here.
I think it has something to do with daddy...
He wasn’t there last night, and I haven’t seen him all day. Maybe he just went away for a bit…he used to go away all the time when I was really little. He’d turn into blue lights and streak away into the sky; I was never sure when he was going, but sometimes it took him awhile to get back.
He hasn’t done that for a long time though…he’s been home a lot more, spending time with me and mommy and Wyatt.
I was happy when he decided to stay home more, and I knew that Wyatt was happy too.
We both love being with daddy.
He plays fun games and tells us exciting stories at bedtime. He makes us bubble baths and takes us to the park. He gives us treats when mommy isn’t looking and he always gives the best hugs…
I wish he’d come and give me a hug right now. I want him to walk into my room with his wide smile, scoop me up and hold me close. I know I’d feel safe then. I know he’d help my worries go away…
I turn my head slowly towards the opened door. My bedroom is dark, but the hallway is still full of bright light. For a brief moment, I think I see him coming around the corner, but I soon realize that there is no one there.
He isn’t going to come.
Aunt Phoebe tucked us in hours ago, and Aunt Paige came by after that to say good night. Mommy didn’t come, but every so often I could hear her sobs coming from the next room. I knew that she was sad, but I also knew that she was in the house.
I couldn’t sense daddy anywhere.
He didn’t come to say good night.
He isn’t here, and I don’t know where he could possibly be. Maybe that’s why mommy is crying- maybe she doesn’t know where he is either. Maybe he got lost…
No…it had to be more then that. If he was only lost, then he would have found his way home by now. He would have called us…he would have found his way…
Maybe it was one of the evil things that got to him. Maybe they had taken him…maybe they weren’t going to let him come back…
I hear sniffles from mommy’s room. It seems that she is still awake and still very sad. She is probably wishing that daddy would hug her too. I’ll bet she misses his hugs just as much as I do.
I turn my head back towards the ceiling and stare off into the inky darkness. It suddenly feels very lonely in here; Wyatt’s soft breathing is not much comfort on this troubled night.
Maybe I should go to mommy…by the sounds of it, she’s feeling lonely too. Maybe if she gives me a hug, and I give her a hug back, both of us can stop feeling so sad.
It certainly seems worth a try.
The bars of my crib seem menacingly high, and I know that I have little chance of getting over them. There is no way that I can crawl to her room. I’ll have to try a different method…
I try to focus my thoughts on my mommy, and I try to remember what it felt like when daddy would hold me close and take me somewhere in a swirl of blue lights. He hasn’t done it for a long time, but the feeling remains engrained in my memory. It was so comforting…the lights sang and the dark world turned into shimmering blue...it had always made me smile.
Aunt Paige has done it too, and so has Wyatt. If they are capable, then surely I must be as well.
I close my eyes and clear my mind of everything but mommy and the lights. I can feel mommy’s presence in the next room, and I focus on getting closer…I need to be closer…
I feel the familiar sensation suddenly overcome me, and for a brief moment, I can hear the lights sing and see the blue dance. I can’t help but smile- the lights remind me of Daddy.
It then stops just as suddenly as it began and I find myself on the soft sheets of mommy’s bed.
“Le-” I hear her say as she gets up from a chair across the room. “Chris!”
Her eyes are lined with red, and I can see the glistening tears on her cheeks.
“Mama.” I reply, clapping my hands in an attempt to maker her smile. I cannot stand to see her so sad, I want to make it go away. I want her to feel better.
“Chris, you orbed.” She said softly as she comes over to the bed and pulls me onto her lap.
So that’s what the blue light traveling is called. It’s nice to finally get some information.
I smile.
She smiles back, but I can see that the tears are still leaking from the corners of her eyes. She isn’t happy, and I can tell that she won’t be happy for a long while. My suspicions were correct- what ever happened to daddy must have been bad.
I begin to squirm in her lap- I want her to turn me around. I think we are both in need of a long hug.
“What’s the matter sweetie?” she asks, her voice strained from her hours of crying. “Do you miss your daddy too…”
She trails off and looks away for a second. Her gaze travels over to the window and the tears fall onto her flushed cheeks. Even now, she continues to hide the truth from me. She does not want me to see her tears…
“Mama.” I say again, trying to regain her attention. I want her to know that I don’t like these secret games.
I want to know…
She gives me a watery smile. “He’ll be back.” She whispers. “I promise you that. I will do anything I can to win this battle. My boys deserve their father…”
Mommy lowers her head and places a soft kiss atop my hair. Her sobs then overcome her once more.
If what she says is true, then he will return. I’m glad to hear that this sadness and loneliness we both feel will not last forever.
I am still left to wonder why he had to go away…did we do something wrong? Mommy sometimes says that Wyatt and I don’t listen at bedtime…and that we’re messy when we eat dinner. Maybe someone thought that such naughty boys did not deserve such a good daddy. Maybe that’s why they took him away for a bit…
I’ll try to be better behaved. Perhaps that will help him to come back sooner.
“I promise.” Mommy whispers again as she finally turns me around and draws me close for the hug I have been desiring. I finally feel content. She’s protecting me from the big scary world, and all of the big scary things that lurk beyond this door. I feel warmth and comfort and love…
We stay like this for a long time.
She holds me…she cries…she tells me that she loves me, and that she’ll always keep me safe.
She tells me again that daddy will return, and I cannot help but believe her every word. I know that, no matter what, daddy would never leave us for long.
He’ll walk through the front door with a wide smile on his face.
He’ll pick up me and Wyatt.
He’ll give us both a kiss.
And he’ll tell us that everything will be okay…
With those happy thoughts on my mind, my breathing begins to slow and eyes begin to feel heavy. I can feel sleep creeping up. Mommy rocks me slowly, and the anxiety worry of the past two days finally catches up with me. I need to rest…I can hardly stay awake…
I snuggle closer to her and she gently brushes her fingers through my hair. “Goodnight my little angel.” She whispers as I begin to drift away. “I promise that I won’t let you down…”
I smile one last time; I know that my daddy will be back soon.
Mommy never breaks her promises…
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
A/N A short little story I had to get out of my head after 8x10. I, for one, am very sad about Leo. Yes, I know that a one and a half year old would not be that smart, but I wanted to try a fun new perspective. Hope you enjoyed it.
Reviews are always welcomed
A young Haliwell’s thoughts in the aftermath of ‘Vaya Con Leos’
One Shot.
Spoilers for 8x10.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I often wish that the adults were not so determined to protect me.
They see me as the little baby.
The youngest…
And they seem to think that I’ll be better off if they exclude me from the goings on.
No one ever tells me anything, and they probably think that I am oblivious to the terrible things that happen in this house.
If only they knew the truth…if only I could tell them that I know…that I always know.
I can sense when things go wrong. I can sense when evil is present. I know when my family is hurt or scared. They can’t hide the truth from me, no matter how hard they try.
I wish they would just be honest. I wish they would just tell me what was going on…I’d like to know why they get scared…why they get hurt…
Wyatt tells me sometimes- he told me about the time that he had to heal mommy on the couch. He told me that daddy and the aunts were really worried, and that everything was okay once mommy woke up. I can remember how scared I felt that entire day; I had known that something had happened to mommy, but it had not become clear until Wyatt recounted the story that night.
Wyatt gets to see more then I do, but even my big brother doesn’t always know what’s going on. Sometimes, he’s just as lost as I am. He can sense the problems too, and we have both spent many sleepless nights worrying in our darkened room. We can sense when mom and the aunts leave the house, and I am often too frightened to rest until I know that they have arrived safely home. And even then, I hardly ever feel at ease. Sometimes I feel beings of great evil enter the house- one can never be sure when they’ll arrive. They are usually disposed of rather quickly, but there always seems to be another…and another…and another…
I cannot help but wonder if this constant appearance of evil and the never ending cycle of worry are simple facts of life.
Does everyone experience the same problems?
Can the other kids sense when their families are in trouble?
I once believed that the answer was yes…but the more that I play with other boys and girls the more I come to realize that they are not burdened with the same anxieties. I know that Wyatt and I are different- that our family is different- and yet I have been unable to figure out why.
I wish the adults would just tell me…things would be easier to comprehend if they gave me the straight facts. It appears, however, that they have no intention of doing so and I am forced to peruse my endless wonderings.
I am helpless to do anything but worry. I can feel the familiar tension in my chest at this very moment, and it has become glaringly apparent that something terrible happened last night.
My suspicions were first aroused when Aunt Paige arrived to pick up Wyatt and me from nursery school yesterday. Daddy was almost always the one who came to get us. It had become a comforting routine- one of the few dependable customs in my life. He would walk into the room with a big smile, scoop us up into his arms and give us each a gentle kiss.
“There’s my boys.” He’d say gently. “I missed you...”
But Daddy didn’t come last night. Instead, Aunt Paige had arrived, long after all of the other kids had gone home, and somberly helped us collect our things. I had exchanged a worried glance with Wyatt on the car ride home- Aunt Paige had barely said a word, and we could both hear the distinct sound of quiet sobs. We both knew that whatever happened had been very bad.
That evening, and the following day, did nothing to ease my fears. I could sense that mommy was upset; the moment we arrived at the house and she had given us each a teary kiss before quickly retiring to her room. I am yet to see her again, and I can only hope that her sadness will soon go away. The aunts had seemed very shaken too, although they managed to hide it better then mommy had. Aunt Phoebe kept flashing her toothy smile, as if trying to reassure us that everything would be just fine.
She wasn’t fooling me though. I knew that something was wrong.
She played with us almost all day- she didn’t go to work, and we didn’t go to school. We played blocks, and trucks, and dinosaurs…things that, on a normal day, I would have enjoyed greatly.
But not today…today, all I cared about was figuring out why they were all so sad.
I still cannot be sure what is going on. Like I said, no one tells me anything around here.
I think it has something to do with daddy...
He wasn’t there last night, and I haven’t seen him all day. Maybe he just went away for a bit…he used to go away all the time when I was really little. He’d turn into blue lights and streak away into the sky; I was never sure when he was going, but sometimes it took him awhile to get back.
He hasn’t done that for a long time though…he’s been home a lot more, spending time with me and mommy and Wyatt.
I was happy when he decided to stay home more, and I knew that Wyatt was happy too.
We both love being with daddy.
He plays fun games and tells us exciting stories at bedtime. He makes us bubble baths and takes us to the park. He gives us treats when mommy isn’t looking and he always gives the best hugs…
I wish he’d come and give me a hug right now. I want him to walk into my room with his wide smile, scoop me up and hold me close. I know I’d feel safe then. I know he’d help my worries go away…
I turn my head slowly towards the opened door. My bedroom is dark, but the hallway is still full of bright light. For a brief moment, I think I see him coming around the corner, but I soon realize that there is no one there.
He isn’t going to come.
Aunt Phoebe tucked us in hours ago, and Aunt Paige came by after that to say good night. Mommy didn’t come, but every so often I could hear her sobs coming from the next room. I knew that she was sad, but I also knew that she was in the house.
I couldn’t sense daddy anywhere.
He didn’t come to say good night.
He isn’t here, and I don’t know where he could possibly be. Maybe that’s why mommy is crying- maybe she doesn’t know where he is either. Maybe he got lost…
No…it had to be more then that. If he was only lost, then he would have found his way home by now. He would have called us…he would have found his way…
Maybe it was one of the evil things that got to him. Maybe they had taken him…maybe they weren’t going to let him come back…
I hear sniffles from mommy’s room. It seems that she is still awake and still very sad. She is probably wishing that daddy would hug her too. I’ll bet she misses his hugs just as much as I do.
I turn my head back towards the ceiling and stare off into the inky darkness. It suddenly feels very lonely in here; Wyatt’s soft breathing is not much comfort on this troubled night.
Maybe I should go to mommy…by the sounds of it, she’s feeling lonely too. Maybe if she gives me a hug, and I give her a hug back, both of us can stop feeling so sad.
It certainly seems worth a try.
The bars of my crib seem menacingly high, and I know that I have little chance of getting over them. There is no way that I can crawl to her room. I’ll have to try a different method…
I try to focus my thoughts on my mommy, and I try to remember what it felt like when daddy would hold me close and take me somewhere in a swirl of blue lights. He hasn’t done it for a long time, but the feeling remains engrained in my memory. It was so comforting…the lights sang and the dark world turned into shimmering blue...it had always made me smile.
Aunt Paige has done it too, and so has Wyatt. If they are capable, then surely I must be as well.
I close my eyes and clear my mind of everything but mommy and the lights. I can feel mommy’s presence in the next room, and I focus on getting closer…I need to be closer…
I feel the familiar sensation suddenly overcome me, and for a brief moment, I can hear the lights sing and see the blue dance. I can’t help but smile- the lights remind me of Daddy.
It then stops just as suddenly as it began and I find myself on the soft sheets of mommy’s bed.
“Le-” I hear her say as she gets up from a chair across the room. “Chris!”
Her eyes are lined with red, and I can see the glistening tears on her cheeks.
“Mama.” I reply, clapping my hands in an attempt to maker her smile. I cannot stand to see her so sad, I want to make it go away. I want her to feel better.
“Chris, you orbed.” She said softly as she comes over to the bed and pulls me onto her lap.
So that’s what the blue light traveling is called. It’s nice to finally get some information.
I smile.
She smiles back, but I can see that the tears are still leaking from the corners of her eyes. She isn’t happy, and I can tell that she won’t be happy for a long while. My suspicions were correct- what ever happened to daddy must have been bad.
I begin to squirm in her lap- I want her to turn me around. I think we are both in need of a long hug.
“What’s the matter sweetie?” she asks, her voice strained from her hours of crying. “Do you miss your daddy too…”
She trails off and looks away for a second. Her gaze travels over to the window and the tears fall onto her flushed cheeks. Even now, she continues to hide the truth from me. She does not want me to see her tears…
“Mama.” I say again, trying to regain her attention. I want her to know that I don’t like these secret games.
I want to know…
She gives me a watery smile. “He’ll be back.” She whispers. “I promise you that. I will do anything I can to win this battle. My boys deserve their father…”
Mommy lowers her head and places a soft kiss atop my hair. Her sobs then overcome her once more.
If what she says is true, then he will return. I’m glad to hear that this sadness and loneliness we both feel will not last forever.
I am still left to wonder why he had to go away…did we do something wrong? Mommy sometimes says that Wyatt and I don’t listen at bedtime…and that we’re messy when we eat dinner. Maybe someone thought that such naughty boys did not deserve such a good daddy. Maybe that’s why they took him away for a bit…
I’ll try to be better behaved. Perhaps that will help him to come back sooner.
“I promise.” Mommy whispers again as she finally turns me around and draws me close for the hug I have been desiring. I finally feel content. She’s protecting me from the big scary world, and all of the big scary things that lurk beyond this door. I feel warmth and comfort and love…
We stay like this for a long time.
She holds me…she cries…she tells me that she loves me, and that she’ll always keep me safe.
She tells me again that daddy will return, and I cannot help but believe her every word. I know that, no matter what, daddy would never leave us for long.
He’ll walk through the front door with a wide smile on his face.
He’ll pick up me and Wyatt.
He’ll give us both a kiss.
And he’ll tell us that everything will be okay…
With those happy thoughts on my mind, my breathing begins to slow and eyes begin to feel heavy. I can feel sleep creeping up. Mommy rocks me slowly, and the anxiety worry of the past two days finally catches up with me. I need to rest…I can hardly stay awake…
I snuggle closer to her and she gently brushes her fingers through my hair. “Goodnight my little angel.” She whispers as I begin to drift away. “I promise that I won’t let you down…”
I smile one last time; I know that my daddy will be back soon.
Mommy never breaks her promises…
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
A/N A short little story I had to get out of my head after 8x10. I, for one, am very sad about Leo. Yes, I know that a one and a half year old would not be that smart, but I wanted to try a fun new perspective. Hope you enjoyed it.
Reviews are always welcomed
