Fallen Angel, My Defender (Story Pending)

[MechAngel]

PREFACE:

Hello all.

First of all, I want to start out by saying that this is indeed my first fan fic, but certainly not a first story for me. I have been writing for a few years -- short stories, story starters, and even very short paragraph stories. Writing is one of my only creative outlets, and though I am never really proud of my work, I feel that it deserves sharing. I ask those of you who read this to understand that I am no author, but a mere young mind trying to express emotions on paper. If you feel the need to constructively criticize my work, please be honest (for I wish to improve my work), but say it in a nice tone.

Secondly, I wish to say a few things about the piece itself. For many years (since I have began watching Charmed), I have had the idea of the main character of this piece. For many years I have shaped the character: I have given him a past, a present, and a future. To me, he is as real as I am -- he is, however, trapped within my mind. This story could never fully describe his tale -- it is but a mere attempt to entertain an audience with my idea. It begins not as a fan fic, but as a story of an individual. However, I assure you that as the story progresses, the Charmed ones will be brought into the story. I hope you all enjoy.

Please forgive this last paragraph, but I must warn you as a reader that the beginning of my story is not enjoyable. Pain and suffering wracked this pour soul’s past, and it is described below in detail. It is not a happy subject, I realize that. Morbid this tale is. However, I can assure you that once this beginning is complete, my character finds happiness -- there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

[MechAngel]

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FALLEN ANGEL, MY DEFENDER
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TASTE MY ANGER

I screamed, begged for mercy, but the pain continued on until I could scream no longer. My body collapsed, and my mind faded to a dark place, one I had grown accustomed to. It was my only sanctuary, my only haven now. I was safe nowhere else, and even there I never considered myself to be safe. However, I was alone there -- they could no longer control me, could no longer hurt me. They may do what they wished to my body, but my mind was gone, locked away in a place so far lost that even they could not find me. And it was there that I remained for as long as I could.

I awoke in my cell. Six shadowed walls formed a cage around me. The floor was where I found myself, bleeding and broken inside. I could not see where the blood was coming from, but I could taste it in the air, smell it thick about my form. I swallowed hard -- blood caught in my throat. Pain tore through my flesh, bone and muscle -- a pain I was more than used to accepting. I could not move, for fear brought paralysis upon me. I could do not but close my eyes, and pray to a most unforgiving God that tomorrow will be less harsh than the day has been.

Dark horrors filled my mind as my eyes closed upon the world. Frights I had never known before ripped my thoughts to shreds, feasted upon and devoured anything but terror. I delved deeper into my unconscious, forcing the creatures away, and gaining entry to my haven. There I was able to shut and lock the doors, close the windows, and guard myself. It was there and only there that is was safe to pray. God, oh God, why? I questioned, feeling warm tears trickle down my metaphysical cheeks. How long must I endure such agony before you save me? How long would it be before you let me go -- before you let me escape, or let me die?

Awakened I was to the opened doors of my shadowed cage. I was standing before them, hands outstretched, feeling a power within me I had never known existed. Anger was that power. Anger had opened the doors, Anger had forced me to stand on fatigued legs. But Anger was my savior, and I gave in to Anger. I stepped out of the door, and gazed before me at a sight I had never seen before. Freedom before me. Now is your time, Anger told me. Now is the time that you are free. You are free from pain now. Give in to me. Give in to Anger. Anger is the sword in which you will slay your captors. Slay them at once, and show them who Anger truly is. In my hand I held a sword. It was then that I truly, whole-heartedly gave in to Anger.

“11161688, get back in your cell immediately! Punishment will come swiftly regardless of your actions, but it will be much less harsh -- it may even be bearable this time.” Commands had been shouted by a very familiar face -- one of my many captors. And this one had been particularly evil to me in the past.

My skin, fresh with bleeding wounds and gaping holes, melded together. My pale pigment was now dark, almost black in color. Anger had healed me of my wounds, and now I was one with Anger. Forward I charged, my sword held high, screaming a voiceless scream. I brought the blade down upon the man, and in that one swift motion I had extinguished his flame, and he was existent no more. Well done dear comrade. Very well done. His soul is now mine, ours to torture. Bring me more. Bring me more.

I walked onward, dragging the blade behind me. I wanted freedom, yes. But I wanted revenge even more! I could taste that sweet revenge. And with Anger at my side, I could have that sweet revenge! Two men stood before me now, and each shouted similar commands to me.

“11161688, your attempts are as useless and futile as you are. Return to your cell, and we will consider being merciful to you in the future.”

Each of those men tasted my Anger.

Hundreds fell before me. Hundreds of souls I devoured. Hundreds of flames I had snuffed. Blood ran like a river below my feet. I was unstoppable. Men tried to resist -- they fought with blades like mine. Blades slashed my skin, cut into me. But Anger mended my wounds, and brought their pitiful resistance to an end. The winding labyrinth-like hallways soon flooded with men, but one by one I felled them. Anger had become more powerful than either of us could have imagined, and instilled upon me similar power.

You have done more than I had hoped for. But our time together is coming to an end. No, it cannot be! Without Anger, what will happen to me? Will I fall to these men, fall to the blades I so similarly wield? However, it began to make sense now. Before me was a pair of enormous, shadow-black doors. I had never seen these doors before, but I knew then what they led to. They led to freedom, they led to the world. I pushed upon the door with all of my might, with all of my soul. My heart longed for the outside, for this very escape. The door at my fingertips shattered to splinters, littering the pathway before me.

[MechAngel]

TASTE BLOOD, AND FEEL THE POWER IT BRINGS

I fell to the ground, fell on my hands and knees, and wept like I had never wept in my lifetime. I had never seen the sun before this day, and there it was before me. I had never seen ground, snow, trees, and there they were. I had felt cold, but never like this. It was refreshing, and felt phenomenal against my skin. I felt Anger give way to such joy that I had never known. You have done well, but your job is not complete. I will leave you for now, but when I return next, you must do for me another task.

Behind me I heard commotion. I stood and I ran, fleeing into an endless oblivion of trees and snow. I ran for moments, minutes, miles. My heart had stopped beating, I had stopped breathing. My legs did not move, but onward I ran. For days I ran like this, until I was physically unable to run. I fell to the ground, making an imprint of myself in the snow, and receded into the depths of my mind, waiting for my body to regenerate. Darkness consumed my vision, and the horrid beings clawed at my mind. I expected this, and ran for cover in my haven, where I closed and locked the door.

“Anger,” I shouted. “Anger, I wish for your return!”

Dearest boy, I am always here. I am always here. What do you need of me?

“I only wish to thank you. You have given me what I never had -- freedom!”

And you have given me what I have never had. Form. Being. Existence.

“I don’t understand,” I questioned.

You, dear boy. You are my form. You are my being. And with you, I may now have existence! I am alive within you, but soon I will be alive with you!

I became frightened by Anger’s words. I trembled under his booming voice. I did not understand still, but I did not have time. Something was prying at my door, breaking my lock. White light poured through my doorway, and a voice called to me. Hands reached for me, strong yet gentle. My eyes opened, and before me I saw a vision that could only be described as angelic. The purest white wings, eyes of bright blue, and white light.

“Awaken, child. Awaken, Noah.” The voice called to me, but I was unable to respond. I grabbed the figure’s hand, and he lifted me effortlessly to my feet. I could not stand by myself, so he moved by my side and held me up. The great wings upon his back spread, and before I knew it we were airborne. The ground beneath us flew by at speeds near unknown. Wind forced me to close my eyes, however. But as I reopened my eyes, we were on flat land, standing before a home. How long it had been since we left I do not know, nor did I know exactly where we were. I knew we couldn’t e far, for we had only been airborne for a few moments. The angelic man walked before me, opening the door to the home, and beckoned me inside.
I felt fear, now. Fear flowed freely through my body, covering me head to toe in chills. I did not want to enter that home. Darkness resided within the home, portraying a stunning likeness to my shadowy cage. I backed away slowly, and as I turned to run, the angelic man met my gaze.

“Do not be afraid, Noah. You need not be afraid of me, nor my home. This is a place of good, not evil. A mere candle may chase away the darkness within the home. Please, I beg thee, enter.”

The man need not say more before I entered. And, sure as his words, a candle chased away the darkness within. The angelic man walked me to a chair and sat me down. This had been the first true relaxation I had ever experienced, and I wished to remain here for the rest of eternity. The angelic man left my side for a moment, and returned with a bit of bread. Starved, I devoured what he had supplied without hesitation. The man brought me water, and I drank thankfully. Never in my life had I trusted an individual, but I now trusted this man -- not because of what he supplied, but because he had been my savior. Anger may have led me from my prison, but this man now led me to freedom, the world.

“Dear Noah, my name is Faith. I am one like yourself, I am an Angel. I was sent to help you, to guide you. Do you understand me?”

I pondered his question for a moment, and replied simply by shaking my head no. I did not understand him. Who was this Noah? What did Faith mean by saying he was one like me? I was confused, and soon, frightened.

“I no not who Noah is. I am 11161688...” I had never been referred to other than by my identification number, given to me in that hellish prison. Noah was not my name. I am 11161688.

“No, dear child. You are no number -- your name is Noah. You are an Angel, like I am. We have been sent from Above to achieve one goal, though neither of us has been notified as to what that goal may be.” The light around Faith intensified. His bright blue eyes only seemed to become brighter as he spoke.

Dear boy… My dear boy? Listen to me as I speak to you. This man, this Faith, speaks not of lies and deceit. He is merely another soul to be harvested. He is, in fact, nothing but a likeness of the men you slaughtered before. He wishes nothing but harm upon you. Listen to me as I speak to you, dear boy. Destroy him. Destroy him now!

I do not wish to destroy this man, this Faith. But something within me hesitated on the trust I had to easily instilled upon this man. That’s it, boy. You see, you do not trust this man. He is nothing but an evil, sadistic man, like the men you slaughtered before. Listen to me as I speak to you, dear boy. Feel the Anger. Destroy him now! Again I felt the sword in my hand. I stood from my seat and raised the sword above my head. Do it, boy! Do it now!

A burst of light flooded my senses, rendered me blind. I swung in the darkness I saw, and hit nothing but darkness itself. I yelled, slashing at what was within reach, but to no avail. It was then that the sword was knocked from my hand, and I was brought to the ground by a strong impact in my abdomen. I fell to the floor, gasping for the air I had lost.

“Noah, you will listen to me now! I know who has been speaking to you, lulling you to a false trust. I know not what he calls himself, but he is evil! He wishes nothing but for you to bring God’s creatures to death. Death, do you understand that? There is good in you, I know that. But there is evil in you, too. And if you listen to that evil, you, too, will become evil. You will become nothing more than the men you fought to escape that prison.”

I waited, breathing heavily. As my vision returned, I saw that I was alone in that home, on my hand and knees. I grabbed the sword that lay before me and pushed myself to a stand. Could all of what Faith said be true? Was I really as bad as… No, you are not. Those men did what they did for their own pleasure. You did what you did to escape. You did what you had to, and no one may tell you otherwise. Now, dear boy, you have failed me in slaying that creature. But I am willing to give you another chance. He may be powerful, but if I was to collect more souls, we can overpower him. We will make him bow before us, and we will take from him what is rightfully ours! Kill for me, dear boy. Taste blood, and feel the power it brings!

[MechAngel]

SEARCH FOR THE LIGHT

I left Faith’s home quickly. Anger had taught me a lesson in trust -- trust not but Anger. I was required to find souls, and what a place Faith had led me to find souls. I stood before a small, quiet village of maybe a hundred or two heads. The light in the sky had disappeared long, long ago, but was now on the rise again. Soon the people of this village would participate in their active lives. But I wished to stop them from that. I needed to slay Faith, and to do so, Anger required souls for power. I vowed to drain this village of souls before daybreak, and slay Faith before nightfall. I set out to work.

I entered a small, shabby home via the front door, gripping my sword tightly. I scoured the darkness, searching for souls. And moments later, I appeared before a sleeping couple, grasping my sword tightly in my hand. They felt not a thing, but Anger grew in strength. The next house I visited was just as easy as the last, and still Anger grew. House by house I extinguished the candles of the living -- be it men, women, children, and even infants. I was physically changing now -- my skin grew black in hue, my hair grew black with it. My eyes, seen in the reflection of my blade, held no color other than darkness. I was becoming one with the shadows.

I approached a house like any other, but as I entered, I was quickly spotted by the man of the house. He did not last long, but had alerted others of my whereabouts by a long, terrible scream. I no longer had a stealthy approach, but I had more than enough strength. I exited the home, and was met by a resistance party of about ten individuals, each wielding an assortment of weaponry -- most of which were gardening and field tools. They lasted only slightly longer than the sleeping souls, and their damage was easily healed.

After the small party of individuals, I encountered a great number of foes, and by this time, it would not surprise me if the rest of the village were in opposition to me. It was then that my body changed again. By body became incorporeal in state, for I was unable to carry my sword any longer. I was not like a shadow, I was a shadow. However, from my mouth a voice spoke, though it was most certainly not me.

“I am Anger, dear boy! I told you that I would exist with your help, and here I am! As for you, however… I cannot say the same for you. Sadly, you will reside where I once did -- in the deepest, darkest corner of your mind, where you may witness my wrath, but never resist it. I am not you, dear boy. And you are nothing.”

I tried to speak, but could do nothing but watch as I walked forward, approaching the people. Being incorporeal, I touched not the ground, but merely hovered above it. Anger grinned to himself as he took over my body. He raised his fists in the air for a moment, then plunged them into the earth. The ground shook below the people, and from two large fissures sprouted two massive claw-like structures, skewering several individuals by the stomach or chest. Anger withdrew his hands form the soil, and the bodies fell to the ground. The crowd of people charged forward, but met a resistance unlike any other. Anger transformed into a terrible, hellish creature, and gave birth to similar creatures from the shadows which he and I were made up of. These demonic creatures, growing in number by the moment, attacked the people in vicious ways, utilizing claws, teeth, and other natural weapons to bring death upon the humans.

Chaos erupted as fleeing humans were easily picked off by these creatures, whose numbers now ranged in the hundreds. Anger also did his part by setting fire to nearby homes and buildings, though how this fire came to be was still in question. I was unable to do anything but watch the horrors before me. I screamed in my mind, begged and pleaded for Anger to stop is horrible ways, but to no avail. Soon, there was only a small band of humans who had managed to fight off the creatures. However, their numbers were so terribly miniscule that, like a tidal wave of shadows, the creatures descended upon the humans, leaving absolutely nothing in their place.

Out of nowhere, however, a bright flash of light from the sky hit the earth. A shockwave of similar light spread from the impact, and upon reaching the monsters of darkness, completely obliterated them. From the original impact stood a man. Faith was his name. I shouted for him, but was silenced by the words of Anger.

“You have seen what I can do, Faith. You know very well how terribly powerful I can be. If you surrender now, I will make your death slightly quicker than I had intended.”

Faith ignored the words and trudged forward. Anger sent his minions after Faith, but they were destroyed in blasts of light that Faith controlled. And soon the creatures numbers dwindled down to a handful, which retreated to the shadows from which they came. Faith continued his march forward, toward Anger and I.

“Noah, I know what was done to you. You gave in to this evil, and as I said you would, you became it. I warned you, and you disobeyed me. But I forgive you, as I always will. You are very powerful. I know you do not know that, but please believe me when I say it. You are so much more powerful than this creature ever will be!”

“You waste your breath, Angel. He is nothing now, nothing but a memory. And soon, you will join him.”

Anger moved forward, and Faith continued his advance. I didn’t believe Faith’s words at all. I was nothing, it was true. I needed Anger at the time -- I needed that power to escape and to survive. What Faith had said made no sense. Anger was so much more powerful than I.

“No, Noah. You are good inside, you are an Angel inside. You have been led down a dark path, but there is always light. You just have to find it within you! Search for the light, Noah! Find it in your heart, in your soul. Find it!”

Anger reached within the ground again, and a row of horrible-looking spikes, chains and wires burst from the ground before Faith. He, however, walked through the obstacles as if they never even existed. From his hand an orb of light appeared, and he sent it forward towards Anger. It hit, and seemed to burn his shadow-like flesh on contact. I could feel that burning, and I soon realized that if a fight between these two broke out, I would never survive it. I had do search for the light Faith spoke of. But where does one start searching for a light he has never known?

[MechAngel]

LET US LEAVE THIS PLACE, ONCE AND FOR ALL

I quickly retreated to my haven, which, to my surprise, had not been touched by Anger. I closed and locked the door, and began my search for an inner good. I have never known good, however. For as long as I can remember I have been locked away, suffering for a crime I never knew of. Never had I seen a good act take place before today, nor had I been told of any good acts transpiring. And so I tried to look for a light, knowing that searching for in item you never have seen before was useless. I dug through darkness, only to come up dirty.

Faith was within reaching distance of Anger by now, and the two were in a stare-down. Faith’s two bright blue eyes lock onto Anger’s dark, almost nonexistent orbs. The two moved not, spoke not. A slow, solemn breeze picked up, and a small amount of snow began to fall from the clouds above, but nothing made a sound.

Suddenly, Anger raised his hand to the sky, and a long, slender, bone-like structure replaced what had once been a dark, thin hand. The bone-like structure shapes itself quickly, vaguely taking on the form of a blade. And, in an instant, Anger brought that blade down above Faith’s head. Faith quickly sidestepped, and hurled an orb of light in reaction. Anger formed his other hand into a similar weapon, and charged at Faith in a flurry of slashes and swings. Faith skillfully evaded most of the attacks, assaulting the dark creature with a volley of bright orbs. The two continued this course of action, though it seemed that either party advanced none, nor fell behind.

On the other hand, I had continued to dig for that light. At then it hit me, as if dealt a physical blow. This light was not an item to be obtained, but a state of being, or perhaps a state of mind. And upon this understanding, I felt another feeling I had never known before: warmth. A satisfying, inner warmth, it filled my soul, filled my heart, filled my mind. I wanted this warmth as badly as I wanted freedom now, and the more I wanted warmth, the more warmth I felt.

However, that warmth ceased as a question registered in my mind. How could I be so good, so angelic, when I have done so many horrible things? With the help of Anger, I had slain hundreds of innocent people without mercy, or even without a second thought. And now, out of the blue, I was being told that I was an Angel. Angels did not kill! How is this possible?

“It was not you, Noah, that murdered those men, women and children. It was by this evil’s hand that those lives were taken. Noah, you were only the body in which the demon within controlled, manipulated. This does not justify the killings, but take comfort in knowing that is was not you.” Faith spoke these words as the battle between him and Anger came to a pause.



But it was me, Faith! I gave in to Anger, I let it take control of me! I fed that Anger. I thought those words as hard as I could, hoping against hope that Faith could hear my words. Perhaps he could, perhaps he could not -- he did not respond either way.

Maybe he is right, I continued to think. It really wasn’t me that did those things. It was Anger -- he was the one who convinced him to do everything. How was I to know that all of this would happen? I never wanted to murder those people, but what choice would I have? Anger would have left me for dead -- he was one of the only reasons I was alive right now. I wish to be good, I don’t wish to be evil!

Anger trust forward with one of his two natural weapons, but stopped short of Faith by mere inches. The bone-like material began to melt away, dripping to the snow below. Anger’s demonic face contorted with pain, and a scream that must have come straight from hell sounded from his gaping maw. Tendrils of light trickled down Anger’s face, splitting apart the dark, shadowy mass that was his head and body. Anger fell to his incorporeal knees, clawing feverishly at the light, though to no avail.

“You gave up on me, dear boy,” Anger howled, streams of light slowly ripping his evil body apart. “You gave up on me, and because of this, I will never truly leave. You will always hear from me, dear boy. Always! Mark my words: I will return, time and again!” And with that, darkness leaked from Anger’s body, until it was but a puddle in the snow. And, left in Anger’s place was I, kneeling now. Two pure white wings were folded at my back. My hair was the purest of white, my eyes the brightest of green. My skin was the usual pale, but it seemed to glow with an inner light.

I stood now, and for the first time ever, I thought clearly. I was no longer afraid, I was no longer confused -- I knew who I was, where I was, when I was, and what I was to do. I am Noah, and I am an Angel.

Faith offered a hand to aid me, and I gratefully accepted. And upon touching his hand, all of the wounds he had suffered in his battle with Anger began to meld. However, I felt my own skin begin to tear apart, emulating that of Faith’s wounds. I had healed him, but only at the expense of my own wounding.

“Faith… I am so sorry--”

“You have been forgiven once, “ Faith interrupted, “ and you will be forgiven forever. As I mentioned before, you were steered clear of the right path from the beginning. Trust in me, confide in me, and I will lead you to the path of good. Stray from that path, however, and you give your darker half more and more opportunities to take over. Do you understand?”

I shook my head, and knew from then on that I could always trust Faith. I knew I could trust him before, but Anger had confused my judgment. That would never happen again. Faith was my protector, and my savior, and I owed my life to him, my soul to him.

“Come, childe. You have seen what the darkness can do to you. Let us leave this place, once and for all.”

[mjp3]

I won´t say I wasn´t warned about the darkness of this story. Noah really, really doesn´t have a nice past, does he? Anyway, after reading that my mind was left filled with questions and I hope they will be answered as you continue with your story. I haven´t read a story like this before, which is definitely a plus point on originality. I like your writing style, it´s very descriptive and captures Noah´s inner turmoil perfectly. I hope you continue your story because I´m curious as to where it will go. Update soon!

[sweet8]

I liked it, MechAngel. It is a good story.

[ejhoagie]

You've story is very different, at least how it starts, from other fanfics. I found it very good despite how vividly bad things were for Noah.

I'm looking forward to you continuing.

[MechAngel]

I'm very sorry for those of you who were reading, but the story took a turn for the worse, and I fear it will be a while before I will continue with it. Things just aren't worded right, and ideas are very messed up, and at the moment i've been quite busy and have been unable to corrct the errors I have made. I do have one more portion of the story i will post, but after that I dont know whether I will continue or not. Perhaps in the future I will revise the story, put it together, and complete it. But until then, enjoy what I have written for now.

Again my apologies, but if the author of a story does not like the story he has written, then what will the audience think?

~MechAngel