Just A Dream?

[Esmeralda]

Sorry I haven't reviewed since one of the first updates, but Real Life has kept me ultra-busy (as has Primrose_Empath's site "Alternate Charmed" where I'm an admin. I REALLY hope you decide to post this there when you're done, since her site is for completed fics only), but I'm with everyone...I totally love this; you're doing such a great job with all the characters and the plot.

I do have one main suggestion, one author to another. DON'T TELL YOUR READERS WHAT'S GOING ON!! All of the extra little posts you've made that lets us know that what's going on, like telling us that it's an alternate universe takes away all of the suspense and the drama--confusing your readers and keeping them confused until the end is part of the fun of being a great writer, and you definitely have the potental to be just that.

When readers ask you stuff like that, just post a grin and tell them you guess that they'll have to keep reading! When you're finally done and they see how it all fits together, they'll be even MORE surprised!

In fact that would be my other suggestion...leave Christy and Billie out of it until the very end! Letting the readers wonder right along with Piper what is going on would make a good story GREAT!

Please update soon!

[Cara Halliwell]

hey Es! i saw your banner and i think u might like this video

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj3Sq-hej_g

[Nicholas Halliwell]

SEVEN

Piper was reading by just a little book light. So, obviously, she couldn'e see a foot in front of her. She was really into her book, but in the corner of her eye she thought she saw some orbs. That made her shoot her head up.

"Leo?" she asked. There was no answer. Piper could here the footsteps getting closer and her breath started getting harder. She felt a drop of sweat drip onto her nose and Piper started to get freaked out. But then, in the little book light's ominous glow, she saw a face & screamed.

"Piper! You scared me!" exclaimed Prue. Piper gave a little chuckle.

"I scared you? You could've at least let me know it was you!" Piper said. Then Prue and Phoebe burst in the door. Prue was carrying a baseball batt and Phoebe had on a baseball glove.

"What are you doing here?" asked Prue. She gripped the bat tighter. There was a long pause, Paige gripping Piper's shoulder and Prue grabbing the baseball bat. "Answer me!" screamed Prue. Paige never answered her, Prue walked toward her and right when she was going to swing the bat, Paige orbed herself and Piper out of the bedroom.

***

"Billie?" asked Christy. Billie had her arms crossed against her chest.

"You give me Piper right now!" she demanded. Before Christy could say anything, glowing white orbs swirled out of the pot and onto the ground. It was Piper and Paige. "Piper!" yelled Billie, running toward Piper. Piper hugged Billie then looked at Christy.

"Hey guess what?" she asked. Christy looked confused, but then she smiled.

"What?" she asked.

"Your life has been just a dream" said Piper. Christy laughed and Piper stood in her spot.

"Wait what?" asked Christy. She looked into the pot and then Piper kicked her in the butt. Christy fell into the pot but not before screaming. Piper bent down and picked up the lid and covered the pot.

"Are you going to be okay?" asked Paige. Piper nodded and hugged Paige. Paige grabbed Billie's hand and together all three girls orbed out of the Underworld.

The End

[Cara Halliwell]

cool twist!