Post by Patrick on Sept 2, 2009 1:47:54 GMT -5
I don't know where my muse for Charmed joke-fics came from but I suddenly feel the urge to write them. Here's one for you guys. It's kind of all over the place, but I hope you like it. All the jokes made in here are not my personal views...except the very very last one. Oh how I resent that, you'll see what I'm talking about.
Prue was busy in the mirror telling herself how much she loved herself and how powerful she was when a demon flamed in behind her. She whirled around in surprise and tapped into her telekinesis to send him flying.
Her powers did not work.
"I am immune to your powers," the demon said. He had wild gray hair and thick glasses. "I am Braddick, leader of the Kern demons." He laughed as he used powers of his own on Prue. He raised his arm and waved at Prue.
Prue felt her body and personality change. The demon then laughed and flamed out. She looked back into the mirror to see what major change the demon did to her.
Her hair was longer, her clothes were more trashy and she didn't care if she was the oldest or had the most power. That demon had changed her...a lot. She also noticed how less she wanted to use her Astral Projection power.
She quickly hurried out the room in desperate attempt to find her sisters. "Piper! Phoebe!"
She heard screams coming from the kitchen. She quickly rushed down the steps to see the same demon waved his hand at Piper and flame out. "Piper! What happened? What did he do to you?"
Piper looked at her sister. She had lost her bang and was pregnant. "The son of a bitch changed me."
Prue was shocked by her sister's attitude, it was as if she became someone else. "Come on, let's go find Phoebe."
The two went into the living room to find Phoebe. She was in the corner, cowering under the demon. She had on glasses and cute overalls, just like Phoebe. But when the demon, Braddick, used his strange magic on her, Phoebe changed. She stood up. Her beautiful brown hair was now blonde. She had on an outfit so provocative, Prue didn't want to wear it. She no longer had on glasses and Phoebe but couldn't help but feel the need to have a man. Like a man made her complete or something.
"What the hell is going on?" Piper exclaimed.
"Book of Shadows?" Phoebe suggested. The two sisters nodded in agreement as they bound up towards the attic.
Prue got to the book first, she started to flip.
"What do you think he wants," Phoebe asked.
Piper shrugged, "I don't know but I'm going to kill the bastard for doing this to me."
Prue frustratingly slammed the book closed, "He's not in here."
"Whoa, you looked through it that fast?" Phoebe asked amazed.
"Yea, ever since that damned demon attacked, it's like everything is faster, like the details do not matter anymore."
"Wait! I can write a spell to summon and vanquish him." Piper suggested.
Phoebe looked at her skeptically, "Are you sure, I mean, I've always been the resident spell writer."
Piper nodded, "I suddenly feel like I can do it. Write spells now."
Prue didn't argue, the three had changed in both good and bad ways.
Hours later, Piper was done. It was hard to write when you kept getting morning sickness.
"Ready?" She asked her sisters. They nodded as they each took a copy of the spell.
They began to recite in unison.
"Powers of descendants rise
To make us normal and stop the lies
We draw our power evermore
To stop this chain, our world restore
Reality is now at stake
And this new change, we now must break
Bring to us the demon to blame
Even though he looks human"
"I think he made them look the same." Phoebe added. Noticing the resemblance between ordinary people and demons now.
A powerful burst of wind engulfed the room and their stood Braddick. He smiled and began to work his strange magic on the room.
He waved a hand and several trunks appeared, filled with ridiculous demonic leftovers.
The three took out the other spell to vanquish him before he could make any other changes.
He waved a hand and a load of personal gain spells appeared in the Book, as well as lots of lower level demons that did not need the Power Of Three to be vanquished.
Piper hurried and started the chant.
"Demon of change
Who has made us strange
Taste your own medicine
For you are deranged
How dare you come
Into our place
Give us things
Of not our taste
You changed our lives
You changed everything
And don't even see your
Inconsistency
Let us three
Now hand in hand
Vanquish thee now
Into unemployment land"
Braddick screamed and writhed in pain. The three watched in amazement.
But as Braddick was being vanquished, they felt their world slowly coming towards an end. Oh no. Once they vanquished the creator of the new world, they didn't think the world itself was going to be destroyed.
Braddick yelled out loud, "Cursed you, Charmed Witches. How dare you not except the world I create. Cursed you, Charmed Witches. Curse you CW."
The three had no idea, why he would abbreviate them with CW. He must have really not liked those two letters. As Braddick was finally vanquished. The Charmed Ones lost their powers that day. But still couldn't shake the feeling of being replaced. Their lives were normal from then on, but the world they left behind, the world that Braddick cursed. The world that could have been theirs....was nothing but Supernatural.
The Kern Demon
a shorty by Patrick
a shorty by Patrick
Prue was busy in the mirror telling herself how much she loved herself and how powerful she was when a demon flamed in behind her. She whirled around in surprise and tapped into her telekinesis to send him flying.
Her powers did not work.
"I am immune to your powers," the demon said. He had wild gray hair and thick glasses. "I am Braddick, leader of the Kern demons." He laughed as he used powers of his own on Prue. He raised his arm and waved at Prue.
Prue felt her body and personality change. The demon then laughed and flamed out. She looked back into the mirror to see what major change the demon did to her.
Her hair was longer, her clothes were more trashy and she didn't care if she was the oldest or had the most power. That demon had changed her...a lot. She also noticed how less she wanted to use her Astral Projection power.
She quickly hurried out the room in desperate attempt to find her sisters. "Piper! Phoebe!"
She heard screams coming from the kitchen. She quickly rushed down the steps to see the same demon waved his hand at Piper and flame out. "Piper! What happened? What did he do to you?"
Piper looked at her sister. She had lost her bang and was pregnant. "The son of a bitch changed me."
Prue was shocked by her sister's attitude, it was as if she became someone else. "Come on, let's go find Phoebe."
The two went into the living room to find Phoebe. She was in the corner, cowering under the demon. She had on glasses and cute overalls, just like Phoebe. But when the demon, Braddick, used his strange magic on her, Phoebe changed. She stood up. Her beautiful brown hair was now blonde. She had on an outfit so provocative, Prue didn't want to wear it. She no longer had on glasses and Phoebe but couldn't help but feel the need to have a man. Like a man made her complete or something.
"What the hell is going on?" Piper exclaimed.
"Book of Shadows?" Phoebe suggested. The two sisters nodded in agreement as they bound up towards the attic.
Prue got to the book first, she started to flip.
"What do you think he wants," Phoebe asked.
Piper shrugged, "I don't know but I'm going to kill the bastard for doing this to me."
Prue frustratingly slammed the book closed, "He's not in here."
"Whoa, you looked through it that fast?" Phoebe asked amazed.
"Yea, ever since that damned demon attacked, it's like everything is faster, like the details do not matter anymore."
"Wait! I can write a spell to summon and vanquish him." Piper suggested.
Phoebe looked at her skeptically, "Are you sure, I mean, I've always been the resident spell writer."
Piper nodded, "I suddenly feel like I can do it. Write spells now."
Prue didn't argue, the three had changed in both good and bad ways.
Hours later, Piper was done. It was hard to write when you kept getting morning sickness.
"Ready?" She asked her sisters. They nodded as they each took a copy of the spell.
They began to recite in unison.
"Powers of descendants rise
To make us normal and stop the lies
We draw our power evermore
To stop this chain, our world restore
Reality is now at stake
And this new change, we now must break
Bring to us the demon to blame
Even though he looks human"
"I think he made them look the same." Phoebe added. Noticing the resemblance between ordinary people and demons now.
A powerful burst of wind engulfed the room and their stood Braddick. He smiled and began to work his strange magic on the room.
He waved a hand and several trunks appeared, filled with ridiculous demonic leftovers.
The three took out the other spell to vanquish him before he could make any other changes.
He waved a hand and a load of personal gain spells appeared in the Book, as well as lots of lower level demons that did not need the Power Of Three to be vanquished.
Piper hurried and started the chant.
"Demon of change
Who has made us strange
Taste your own medicine
For you are deranged
How dare you come
Into our place
Give us things
Of not our taste
You changed our lives
You changed everything
And don't even see your
Inconsistency
Let us three
Now hand in hand
Vanquish thee now
Into unemployment land"
Braddick screamed and writhed in pain. The three watched in amazement.
But as Braddick was being vanquished, they felt their world slowly coming towards an end. Oh no. Once they vanquished the creator of the new world, they didn't think the world itself was going to be destroyed.
Braddick yelled out loud, "Cursed you, Charmed Witches. How dare you not except the world I create. Cursed you, Charmed Witches. Curse you CW."
The three had no idea, why he would abbreviate them with CW. He must have really not liked those two letters. As Braddick was finally vanquished. The Charmed Ones lost their powers that day. But still couldn't shake the feeling of being replaced. Their lives were normal from then on, but the world they left behind, the world that Braddick cursed. The world that could have been theirs....was nothing but Supernatural.
