Post by Esmeralda on Mar 6, 2008 23:27:28 GMT -5
Saw this at another site and had to bring it over here. A LOT of them are ones that have been debated here ad nauseum, but a number of them cracked me up and a few were ones I'd never thought of before. Most important of all, reading it brought back a lot of great memories, so I hope it does the same for all of you. Enjoy!
1. One must never use magic for personal gain, unless one feels like it.
2. It is WRONG to kill a human, even if said human is evil. However, if you are a Charmed One, then it's okay; kill away! (Hyde School Reunion)
3. Boo Hoo! The sisters are so sad when they think about their dead relatives. Never mind that they can summon them from the spirit world whenever they jolly well please!
4. When travelling back in time to Colonial America or Medieval Europe, language is not a problem. Everyone there talks and acts like 21st Century Americans!
5. Rex and Hannah spent months taking over an auction house, yet they somehow forgot to include info about themselves in the company database (Wicca Envy)
6. Poor Victor, the man cannot remember his last name!
7. It was socially acceptable, so the writers had us believe, for an unmarried woman to have a baby in 1600's America (Melinda Warren and her mother, Charlotte, have the same last name. Melinda herself had a daughter, Prudence, so if Melinda had been married, she would have taken her husband's last name, this was the 17th, not the 21st Century, guys).
8. The sisters fake their deaths and assume new identities (beginning of Season Eight). Yet, they live in the SAME house and two of them have the SAME jobs. Of course, no one in the magical community is gonna catch on!
9. Homeland Security is on the case, harrasing the Halliwell sisters! Osama Bin Who!?
10. The sisters can summon spirits of anyone (for example, in Trial By Magic). Yet, they conveniately forget this power when a spirit could have pointed them in the right direction (like when Raynor was killing witches and making it seem like Cole did it, if the sisters had bothered to summon the spirit of one of those murdered witches, she could have easily told them that a different guy killed her).
11. Paige has this nasty habit of forgetting that she can orb things at critical times (Hyde School Reunion again).
12. No Warlock or Demon is permitted to do any evil on Earth, except in the greater San Francisco area.
13. In Charmland, they burned witches in Colonial Salem, when in fact, accused witches were hanged, not burnt.
14. Wicca is thrown around a lot, despite the world that Charmed takes place in seems more Christian than Wiccan at times.
15. The Elders can listen in to private conversations any time they jolly well please. Man, the Nazis and the Communists would have loved these guys!
16. The Halliwell sisters are the most powerful witches ever, yet they almost get defeated by a couple of Paris Hilton wanna-be's who have the combined IQ of a reconstituted Chicken McNugget!
17. Magic School! Whoa, no one will EVER accuse us of ripping off the Harry Potter franchise. Great idea, Brad! (Not!)
18. Faries, elves, and dwarves, oh my!
19. Prue cannot come visit, because it would keep the sisters from moving on. Five years later, is that excuse still viable?
20. Let's go find info about the Avatars in an Egyptian pyramind. Never mind that avatars are a HINDU concept, not an Egyptian one!
21. When demons are vanquished, they are GONE! Of course, this doesn't stop Barbas from coming back about five million times.
22. The Source is so clever! Instead of killing the Charmed Ones at once, when he had the opportunity and strength to do so, he tries to kill Inspector Cortez, who had spotted him.
23. The sisters were killed and brought back from the dead so many times, the Grim Reaper was thinking of charging a toll for each trip back.
24. When Piper and Phoebe died in previous episodes...they were always able to come back to life...yet Prue dies, and hello...they can't bring her back...just like they can't bring back Patty or Grams...or any other witch for that matter...what sense is that...are Piper and Phoebe really that magical, that they have more than nine lives?
25. I hate Cole, no I love Cole, no, I hate him, no I love him, blah-de-blah, blah....
26. Grams was a hippie in the 60's, despite the fact that she was about twenty years too old! (Witchstock)
27. Leo bummed around the Manor in the 60's. What about the charges he was supposed to be looking after? (Witchstock again)
28. The Elders may be snoops, but when it came to supplying helpful info, they were about as useful as the old screen door on a submarine.
29. Grams went through four husbands, or was it six? I guess she got married and divorced in the spirit world. The woman cannot catch a break!
30. The spirit world has hair salons, since everytime Grams comes back, her hair is different.
31. We lost another innocent! Meh, who cares? (Season Five on)
32. Hi, I'm Paige, and I had a great job as a Social Worker. I helped people. But, I gave that up and now I walk dogs for a living!
33. Piper suddenly decides to open a night club, abandoning her dream of becoming a chef for no apparent reason except so the show could feature muscial guest stars. Can anyone say desperate for ratings?
34. That Old Black Magic. Nuff said!
35. The sisters defeated the Ultimate Evil, for the third time (Source, Zankou, Triad)!
36. Magical powers... who needs them when you can just take off your clothes? (PhoeME aka Freebie)
37. How about that Book of Shadows? Cole couldn't touch the damn thing, yet one warlock managed to touch it and carry it as far as the front door. And a demon managed to steal it through a portal. Amazing!
38. Why did the Elders never send Leo after one of his non-Halliwell charges after he and Piper got married? Was that the Source's wedding present--kill off all of his other charges?
39. Cole gains godlike powers and is able to change reality. He decides to make sure he and Phoebe never break up, but instead of choosing a logical event to change (the Seer tricking him into taking the Hollow, which led to Cole becoming the Source), he chooses an event that had NO bearing on his and Phoebe's relationship (Piper and Phoebe meeting Paige for the first time).
40. Duh, let's write a 100th episode that has a plot and storyline that makes absolutely no logical sense. The fans will never know. Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk! (see above)
41. Leo was born in 1924 and was killed in action at Guadalcanal in 1942, making him 18 when he died. Never mind that he looked far too old to be 18. Never mind that he was attending Medical School when the U.S. entered World War II (he told Piper so in Love Hurts). Either someone on the writing staff wasn't paying attention (what else was new) or Leo was the Doogie Hauser of his time (there is NO way he could have been in Med School that young).
42. Phoebe and Paige take a little jaunt through Piper and Leo's memories (Cat House). So how come they see Leo and Piper orb out when Leo recovers from the Dark Lighter's poison, in Love Hurts, when that is NOT what happened (when Leo recovered, he and Piper when went downstairs to meet Daisy).
43. Why was Chris so tight-lipped sometimes about changing the future. Uh, wouldn't his whole mission in the past already be changing said future? And why did he stay for longer than a year (after all, he was conceived and born during that time) when he screwed up the lives of every person he ran into during that year?
44. Ancient beings thawed out of ice after thousands of years immediately begin to talk like 21st Century Americans!
45. Charmed Writer's Rule No. 10: When fresh out of story ideas, raid the children's section of a library. No one will ever notice!
46. Bring back the all powerful Avatars, and then do virtually nothing with them, except having them give up WAY too fast!
47. Charrrrrrmmed! ARRRGHHH!
48. Make Kyra the Seer (Charisma Carpenter's character) into someone the fans can actually like, then senselessly kill her off (at least Phoebe showed emotion at her death; at this point, they no longer cared about losing innocents. Of course, the thought of resurrecting her never crossed anyone's mind, when her character, a seer who wants to be mortal, would've made a lot better spinoff than either two snot-nosed boys with a ton of powers or two snot-nosed blondes with a ton of powers!
49. How come Mikalya, a potential whitelighter, got to become one when she was murdered, but Joanna, another potential, didn't (when she was murdered by Zankou)?
50. Billie and Christy: WORST IDEA EVER!!!
51. Forget Susan B. Anthony. Women owe the rights they enjoy today to some naked woman who rode a horse in the 12th Century, an event that NEVER REALLY HAPPENED!
52. Even when shrunk to doll size, your mass remains the same, so you would have the same weight. Too bad someone forgot to tell the Charmed writers this little fact.
53. So the Triad were really in charge of the Underworld. Okay, so how come they seemed to defer to the Source back in S3?
54. The whitelighter Elders are supposed to be the good guys, of course, they kill you if you don't go along with their vision of things. What's the difference between them and the Avatars?
55. Once In A Blue Moon!? Whoever wrote this episode needs to be banished from Hollywood forever!
56. Do you think we'll ever learn why the Charmed Ones turned into werewolves (in a piss poor CGI effect) whenever they were on their menstrual period at the same time during a Blue Moon? Do you? Because I don't.
57. How is it that Cole can conjure an energy ball powerful enough to kill the Source, while remaining in human form . . . and yet has to change into demonic form in order to kill a fellow human/demon hybrid?
58. According to the Moron Known as Leo, Cole became automatically good when he became a human at the end of "Black As Cole". Yet, the Halliwells and other characters like Tony Wong and Agent Jackman proved that one can be a monster and human at the same time.
59. "Animal Pragmatism" . . . why?
60. And why did Grams remind Prue and Piper in S3's "Just Harried" that the women in their family kept their maiden names after marriage? She used the name of Halliwell, which belonged to her first husband, and her maiden name was Johnson.
61. The Avatars were so powerful that they could withstand everything Cole threw at them. However, then we were led to believe that one little potion could kill them? Oh please (and don't even get me started on what happened to the spirit of a killed Avatar).
62. It said the Avatars were driven away centures ago. By whom, pray tell?
63. The Charmed Ones are the most powerful witches, period! Of course, then Billie comes along with way better powers and moves that put Sydney Bristoe to shame! Give me a break!
64. Power Of Three Blondes. Another writer that needs to be shot!
65. Then we have that awful Mata Hari episode, yet another excuse to get Phoebe to act like she belongs at the Playboy Manor, instead of Halliwell Manor!
66. Mata Hari speaks with a French accent? How is that possible when her parents were Dutch colonists living on Indonesia?
67. Why did they introduce the Avatars in the first place?
1. One must never use magic for personal gain, unless one feels like it.
2. It is WRONG to kill a human, even if said human is evil. However, if you are a Charmed One, then it's okay; kill away! (Hyde School Reunion)
3. Boo Hoo! The sisters are so sad when they think about their dead relatives. Never mind that they can summon them from the spirit world whenever they jolly well please!
4. When travelling back in time to Colonial America or Medieval Europe, language is not a problem. Everyone there talks and acts like 21st Century Americans!
5. Rex and Hannah spent months taking over an auction house, yet they somehow forgot to include info about themselves in the company database (Wicca Envy)
6. Poor Victor, the man cannot remember his last name!
7. It was socially acceptable, so the writers had us believe, for an unmarried woman to have a baby in 1600's America (Melinda Warren and her mother, Charlotte, have the same last name. Melinda herself had a daughter, Prudence, so if Melinda had been married, she would have taken her husband's last name, this was the 17th, not the 21st Century, guys).
8. The sisters fake their deaths and assume new identities (beginning of Season Eight). Yet, they live in the SAME house and two of them have the SAME jobs. Of course, no one in the magical community is gonna catch on!
9. Homeland Security is on the case, harrasing the Halliwell sisters! Osama Bin Who!?
10. The sisters can summon spirits of anyone (for example, in Trial By Magic). Yet, they conveniately forget this power when a spirit could have pointed them in the right direction (like when Raynor was killing witches and making it seem like Cole did it, if the sisters had bothered to summon the spirit of one of those murdered witches, she could have easily told them that a different guy killed her).
11. Paige has this nasty habit of forgetting that she can orb things at critical times (Hyde School Reunion again).
12. No Warlock or Demon is permitted to do any evil on Earth, except in the greater San Francisco area.
13. In Charmland, they burned witches in Colonial Salem, when in fact, accused witches were hanged, not burnt.
14. Wicca is thrown around a lot, despite the world that Charmed takes place in seems more Christian than Wiccan at times.
15. The Elders can listen in to private conversations any time they jolly well please. Man, the Nazis and the Communists would have loved these guys!
16. The Halliwell sisters are the most powerful witches ever, yet they almost get defeated by a couple of Paris Hilton wanna-be's who have the combined IQ of a reconstituted Chicken McNugget!
17. Magic School! Whoa, no one will EVER accuse us of ripping off the Harry Potter franchise. Great idea, Brad! (Not!)
18. Faries, elves, and dwarves, oh my!
19. Prue cannot come visit, because it would keep the sisters from moving on. Five years later, is that excuse still viable?
20. Let's go find info about the Avatars in an Egyptian pyramind. Never mind that avatars are a HINDU concept, not an Egyptian one!
21. When demons are vanquished, they are GONE! Of course, this doesn't stop Barbas from coming back about five million times.
22. The Source is so clever! Instead of killing the Charmed Ones at once, when he had the opportunity and strength to do so, he tries to kill Inspector Cortez, who had spotted him.
23. The sisters were killed and brought back from the dead so many times, the Grim Reaper was thinking of charging a toll for each trip back.
24. When Piper and Phoebe died in previous episodes...they were always able to come back to life...yet Prue dies, and hello...they can't bring her back...just like they can't bring back Patty or Grams...or any other witch for that matter...what sense is that...are Piper and Phoebe really that magical, that they have more than nine lives?
25. I hate Cole, no I love Cole, no, I hate him, no I love him, blah-de-blah, blah....
26. Grams was a hippie in the 60's, despite the fact that she was about twenty years too old! (Witchstock)
27. Leo bummed around the Manor in the 60's. What about the charges he was supposed to be looking after? (Witchstock again)
28. The Elders may be snoops, but when it came to supplying helpful info, they were about as useful as the old screen door on a submarine.
29. Grams went through four husbands, or was it six? I guess she got married and divorced in the spirit world. The woman cannot catch a break!
30. The spirit world has hair salons, since everytime Grams comes back, her hair is different.
31. We lost another innocent! Meh, who cares? (Season Five on)
32. Hi, I'm Paige, and I had a great job as a Social Worker. I helped people. But, I gave that up and now I walk dogs for a living!
33. Piper suddenly decides to open a night club, abandoning her dream of becoming a chef for no apparent reason except so the show could feature muscial guest stars. Can anyone say desperate for ratings?
34. That Old Black Magic. Nuff said!
35. The sisters defeated the Ultimate Evil, for the third time (Source, Zankou, Triad)!
36. Magical powers... who needs them when you can just take off your clothes? (PhoeME aka Freebie)
37. How about that Book of Shadows? Cole couldn't touch the damn thing, yet one warlock managed to touch it and carry it as far as the front door. And a demon managed to steal it through a portal. Amazing!
38. Why did the Elders never send Leo after one of his non-Halliwell charges after he and Piper got married? Was that the Source's wedding present--kill off all of his other charges?
39. Cole gains godlike powers and is able to change reality. He decides to make sure he and Phoebe never break up, but instead of choosing a logical event to change (the Seer tricking him into taking the Hollow, which led to Cole becoming the Source), he chooses an event that had NO bearing on his and Phoebe's relationship (Piper and Phoebe meeting Paige for the first time).
40. Duh, let's write a 100th episode that has a plot and storyline that makes absolutely no logical sense. The fans will never know. Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk! (see above)
41. Leo was born in 1924 and was killed in action at Guadalcanal in 1942, making him 18 when he died. Never mind that he looked far too old to be 18. Never mind that he was attending Medical School when the U.S. entered World War II (he told Piper so in Love Hurts). Either someone on the writing staff wasn't paying attention (what else was new) or Leo was the Doogie Hauser of his time (there is NO way he could have been in Med School that young).
42. Phoebe and Paige take a little jaunt through Piper and Leo's memories (Cat House). So how come they see Leo and Piper orb out when Leo recovers from the Dark Lighter's poison, in Love Hurts, when that is NOT what happened (when Leo recovered, he and Piper when went downstairs to meet Daisy).
43. Why was Chris so tight-lipped sometimes about changing the future. Uh, wouldn't his whole mission in the past already be changing said future? And why did he stay for longer than a year (after all, he was conceived and born during that time) when he screwed up the lives of every person he ran into during that year?
44. Ancient beings thawed out of ice after thousands of years immediately begin to talk like 21st Century Americans!
45. Charmed Writer's Rule No. 10: When fresh out of story ideas, raid the children's section of a library. No one will ever notice!
46. Bring back the all powerful Avatars, and then do virtually nothing with them, except having them give up WAY too fast!
47. Charrrrrrmmed! ARRRGHHH!
48. Make Kyra the Seer (Charisma Carpenter's character) into someone the fans can actually like, then senselessly kill her off (at least Phoebe showed emotion at her death; at this point, they no longer cared about losing innocents. Of course, the thought of resurrecting her never crossed anyone's mind, when her character, a seer who wants to be mortal, would've made a lot better spinoff than either two snot-nosed boys with a ton of powers or two snot-nosed blondes with a ton of powers!
49. How come Mikalya, a potential whitelighter, got to become one when she was murdered, but Joanna, another potential, didn't (when she was murdered by Zankou)?
50. Billie and Christy: WORST IDEA EVER!!!
51. Forget Susan B. Anthony. Women owe the rights they enjoy today to some naked woman who rode a horse in the 12th Century, an event that NEVER REALLY HAPPENED!
52. Even when shrunk to doll size, your mass remains the same, so you would have the same weight. Too bad someone forgot to tell the Charmed writers this little fact.
53. So the Triad were really in charge of the Underworld. Okay, so how come they seemed to defer to the Source back in S3?
54. The whitelighter Elders are supposed to be the good guys, of course, they kill you if you don't go along with their vision of things. What's the difference between them and the Avatars?
55. Once In A Blue Moon!? Whoever wrote this episode needs to be banished from Hollywood forever!
56. Do you think we'll ever learn why the Charmed Ones turned into werewolves (in a piss poor CGI effect) whenever they were on their menstrual period at the same time during a Blue Moon? Do you? Because I don't.
57. How is it that Cole can conjure an energy ball powerful enough to kill the Source, while remaining in human form . . . and yet has to change into demonic form in order to kill a fellow human/demon hybrid?
58. According to the Moron Known as Leo, Cole became automatically good when he became a human at the end of "Black As Cole". Yet, the Halliwells and other characters like Tony Wong and Agent Jackman proved that one can be a monster and human at the same time.
59. "Animal Pragmatism" . . . why?
60. And why did Grams remind Prue and Piper in S3's "Just Harried" that the women in their family kept their maiden names after marriage? She used the name of Halliwell, which belonged to her first husband, and her maiden name was Johnson.
61. The Avatars were so powerful that they could withstand everything Cole threw at them. However, then we were led to believe that one little potion could kill them? Oh please (and don't even get me started on what happened to the spirit of a killed Avatar).
62. It said the Avatars were driven away centures ago. By whom, pray tell?
63. The Charmed Ones are the most powerful witches, period! Of course, then Billie comes along with way better powers and moves that put Sydney Bristoe to shame! Give me a break!
64. Power Of Three Blondes. Another writer that needs to be shot!
65. Then we have that awful Mata Hari episode, yet another excuse to get Phoebe to act like she belongs at the Playboy Manor, instead of Halliwell Manor!
66. Mata Hari speaks with a French accent? How is that possible when her parents were Dutch colonists living on Indonesia?
67. Why did they introduce the Avatars in the first place?