All Hell Breaks Loose... sort of.

[Andrew]

So, I was chatting the other day with Prue's Feather in the Shoutbox when the subject of Prue's death came up, and the general consensus was that her being taken out by, essentially, a gust of wind was pretty lame. I made a joke about her being taken out because Phoebe accidentally left a fan on, then commented that if the Source had ever gotten his hands on a leaf blower, it would have been over for all three of them. After that... Well, the conversation went like this:

Andrew: "Now, Charmed Ones, taste my wrath!" *sputter, sputter, sputter* "You, um, need some help over there?" "Shut up, I know what I'm doing!"

Andrew: *click, click, click* "It's not even plugged in, now." "Stop helping the demon, Phoebe!"

Prue's Feather: First it's the fan, now it's a leaf blower. JFC, I can't. xD

Andrew: "You know, we've got an extension cord-" "Phoebe!"

Prue's Feather: -Phoebe sprints to the garage to retrieve the extension cord-

Andrew: *Leo orbs in and starts pelting the Source with ice cubes* "Don't worry, Piper. I've got this!" "...Prue, what the hell is even going on, anymore?" "I don't know, Piper. I just don't know..."

Prue's Feather: OH MY GOD. Why was THIS not All Hell Breaks Loose?

Prue's Feather: ICE CUBES?

Andrew: Well. he attacks with fire, right? So obviously he'd be weak to ice! It's just logical! 😁

Prue's Feather: Meanwhile, Phoebe has FINALLY found the extension cord and runs over to the Source to give it to him, while helping unravel the thing. It's the longest extension cord she can find, so he can move around easy and do the most damage possible.

Andrew: "Hey, Piper? Remember that homemade ice cream maker you got for your birthday last year?" "I like where you're going with this, Prue. Leo, keep distracting him! I'm going for some heavier artillery!"

Andrew: Somehow, the grandfather clock has been destroyed. No one knows how. Best guess is a stray ice cube.

Prue's Feather: Well, it wouldn't be a fight without the grandfather clock being destroyed!

Andrew: Darryl pokes his head through the open front door. "What's going on in here?" "Darryl, stop Phoebe before she helps plug in our doom!"

Prue's Feather: PLUG IN OUR DOOM?

Prue's Feather: I am laughing so hard right now!

Andrew: "I'm just trying to help, guys, jeez..." "Stop. Helping. The DEMONS!"

Prue's Feather: Meanwhile, Piper and Prue return with the ice cream maker. Upon seeing this, Leo throwing ice cubes at the Source, and Phoebe STILL unraveling the cord, Darryl shakes his head, and he's like, "NOPE. 🤬 this 🤬. I'm out of here."

Andrew: Meanwhile, in the Underworld, the Oracle is remarking to the Seer, "You know, even I didn't see this coming." "Indeed."

Prue's Feather: Back up in SF, Paige Matthews finally decides today's the day she's going to introduce herself to her birth family. It'll be awkward, sure, but she wants to meet her sisters.

Andrew: Phoebe: "Huh, no open outlets. Hang on, lemme try in the kitchen."

Prue's Feather: “🤬 IT, PHOEBE, STOP HELPING HIM!"

Prue's Feather: Piper: "Oh, 🤬 it." Prue: "What?" Piper: "We're gonna need an extension cord, too."

Andrew: Paige decides to stop and pick up an iced mocha latte on the way. She doesn't know it, but that will be the key to victory.

Andrew: Leo: "I'm running low on ice, Piper!"

Prue's Feather: And Paige, thinking about how her meeting with her sisters will go, decides to order three more, one for each of them. "They'll like this. We'll bond over iced mocha lattes."

Andrew: Cole shimmers into the room. "Don't worry, I've got your back!" he announces, before he starts shooting the Source with the biggest Super Soaker he could get his hands on.

Andrew: While Phoebe is distracted by Cole, Piper steals the extension cord and uses it to plug in the ice cream maker.

Prue's Feather: Cole: "It was the last one they had left, I had to take a couple of people out for it, and I think I may have ruined a kid's birthday over it, but oh well."

Prue's Feather: Phoebe, upon seeing Cole: "CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Andrew: Prue: "We'll send them a fruit basket; everybody loves those."

Prue's Feather: Meanwhile, in the drive-thru waiting to order, Paige is stuck behind a person who literally ordered one of everything. "What the hell is taking so long? My God. Did they order the whole menu?"

Andrew: Leo orbs out to restock on ice cubes.

Prue's Feather: Though Piper's got the extension cord now, she has the same problem as Phoebe: Finding an outlet that's open.

Andrew: Leo orbs back in with a huge tub of ice cubes... and a secret weapon. "Hey, Source! What would you do a Klondike Bar?" *smack* "Ow! You got me in the eye with that, you whitelighter jerk!"

Andrew: Finally, reluctantly, Piper unplugs the coffee maker. "Sorry, my friend. Your sacrifice won't be in vain!"

Andrew: (There's a moment of silence, as the coffee maker flatlines.)

Prue's Feather: RIP The Coffee Maker. A brief eulogy is given. "You were loved. You made us many a coffee to help us get going for our demon vanquishes. Rest in peace, my friend."

Andrew: "...you know we can just plug it back in later, right?" "Shh, Prue, not now!"

Prue's Feather: Piper: "I'm having a moment!"

Prue's Feather: Paige, now having waited ten minutes in the drive-thru line, finally gets to order... Only to find out they've run out of iced mocha lattes. "Are you kidding me? You actually ran out? When does that even happen?"

Prue's Feather: An apology is given. The guy before her ordered the last one. A now frustrated Paige looks at the menu. "Alright, alright. Give me a minute."

Andrew: She decides iced peppermint mocha will have to do. She doesn't want to be stuck there all day.

Andrew: Meanwhile, back at the Manor, ice cream production is finally underway.

Prue's Feather: Piper, finally over her moment with the coffee maker, gets the ice cream maker going with Prue, and they're ready to launch their attack on the Source.

Andrew: "Fear our chocolate-y goodness, Source!"

Prue's Feather: But Phoebe being Phoebe, she jumps in the way and takes the ice cream blast.

Andrew: "Arrgh! No, not non-fat!"

Prue's Feather: Piper: "Are you kidding me? Are you actually 🤬 kidding me, Phoebe?"

Andrew: "It's ice cream, Piper. You know that's my weakness!"

Andrew: Prue: "You know what, Phoebe? That's it. We are dumping you for the next convenient witch to walk through the front door!"

Prue's Feather: "You could never replace me! I'm the one and only, Amazing Phoebe!"

Andrew: Cole peels off his by now wet shirt, and Phoebe instantly forgets what she was doing.

Andrew: Piper: "Huh. We may now owe him a fruit basket, too, Prue." "Noted."

Prue's Feather: Phoebe then tackles Cole, sending the Super Soaker flying through the air, and it knocks Prue out.

Andrew: Piper: "Aw, 🤬. Well, Leo, it's been fun..."

Andrew: Out on the street, Paige has parked in front of the house, carefully balancing the container with all four drinks in it as she gets out of her car. "Well, here goes nothing..."

Prue's Feather: She notices the front door's open, thinks, "Huh, strange," and proceeds to walk in.

Andrew: The racket coming from the living room catches her attention and she wanders in, quickly being distracted by the sheer chaos going on. She's so distracted that she trips over the extension cord stretching across the room, and her drinks go flying...

Andrew: ...and splatter the Source. The combination of ice, sugar, and caffeine is too much for him, and he explodes.

Prue's Feather: Paige stares in shock. She looks around, seeing the puddles of water, Leo standing by a now almost empty tub of ice cubes, ice cream all over the floor, a knocked out Prue, Phoebe making out with Cole, before looking at Piper, who's staring back at her.

Andrew: "Um... hi? I, uh, think I'm your sister...?"

Andrew: "Okay, hi, nice to meet you. I'm Piper, this is Prue. Phoebe, you're fired!"

Andrew: ...and fade to black.

Andrew: And thus did season 3 draw to a close. 😎

Andrew: I'm honestly not sure where this even came from. One minute the Source, having learned (somehow) that the Charmed Ones were weak to gusts of wind, was trying to start up a leaf blower. Then Leo showed up with ice, and, well, all hell broke loose. 😂

Prue's Feather: I think I said something about Prue being defeated by a gust of wind, then came the fan defeating her, then came the Source with a leaf blower.

Prue's Feather: But literally, though, all hell did break loose and at least the title is still perfectly fitting for our finale. And we didn't even need exposure for that lol!

Andrew: I think the Source got a more dignified death here, too. 😁 

Prue's Feather: Oh, definitely. Why weren't we the writers of Charmed?

Andrew: Now, to plan out the next episode where the Evil Enchantress shows up, and it's Paige vs Sexy Cosplay Paige!

Prue's Feather: Oh, we got another battle against one's self again!

Andrew: She even nearly kills Paige with a gust of wind! That's how you know she's pure evil.

Prue's Feather: OMG, she DOES! First it's Shax, then it's a fan, then it's a leaf blower, then it's the Evil Enchantress. Lesson learned here? Wind has been the enemy all along.

Andrew: "Alright, cupcakes, we've clearly got a lot of work to do to get you ready to face Ren Faire Barbie." "Natalie?! Aren't you dead?" "I got better." "Eh, you know what? Why not?"

[Prue's Feather]

OMG. I love you. THANK YOU for posting this. After we'd wrapped up this up, I'd regretted I hadn't taken any screenshots of our chat. I'm so glad you did! 

I had some ideas to keep this going at the end with Paige, but considering it was almost five in the morning, I was getting pretty tired and couldn't type my thoughts into words fast enough   Something involving Piper accidentally blowing up the peppermint iced coffees with her new molecular combustion powers when she actually meant to freeze them (since Piper was still new to this "blowing up" power at this point), maybe Paige panic orbing (or maybe her surprising everyone that she could orb and save the day by getting them more amo, whatever it ended up being), maybe some more Super Soakers, Prue waking up out of her unconsciousness after everything's all done and seeing the Source had finally been vanquished and then her looking at Paige and being like, "Um, what'd I miss and... Who's that girl?". Something like that.

I can't tell you how many times I burst out laughing doing this. I'm laughing now rereading through it. It was so much fun creating this story with you!

But let's be real. This is how All Hell Breaks Loose should have went down   So much better than Prue being taken out by a gust of wind (I mean, because that's basically what happened lol.)

So... Now for Paige vs. Evil Enchantress Paige? (I think I'm gonna need to revisit that episode before our board rewatch to make sure I don't forget any important details lol.) Ah, you know what? We should just parody the whole series. Let's just say... The Charmed Ones are going to be in for one hell of a ride...

[Esmeralda]

This is a couple years old, but I FINALLY found and read it and I've tears rolling down my cheeks, I'm laughing so hard!

I hope you guys keep it going someday!

And if you love parodying Charmed, I strongly recommend "Harmed, The Sorta Story" which is based on the game created by Teshik and Paydnz. It's here: thecharmedcafe.proboards.com/thread/11053/paydnzs-harmed-sorta-story

[zachary]

Esmeralda , if you wouldn't have commented, I wouldn't have seen it! I'm glad you did, because I, too, agree that this was HILARIOUS! From the leaf blower to Piper blowing up mint iced coffees, to Darryl's *pops in* "Nope." *pops out*, to Paige walking in and them firing Phoebe

Great read