Memorable Piper Halliwell Quotes

[Assassin Witch]

Eight years worth of Charmed, and from everything that this Molecular Mother has spoken, which are your most memorable or favorite quotes?



Piper: I have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Phoebe: What kind of feeling?
Piper: That Leo's not coming back.

~ "Oh My Goddess, Part One"

[phoebe11]

Piper to Elders:I want wait no I DEMAND you send Leo back to me

Piper To Elders:I am going to stand right here till you send Leo back to me

[leosgirl]

I'm being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower
-Chick flick

[ksweet07]

"Can I keep my shoes on"

that one cracked me up!

[p3xocharmedonexop3]

Good memories with these quotes!

Piper: I was just wondering, do you ever think of me?
Leo: Yeah.
Piper: In what way? As a friend sort of way...
Leo: You have beautiful eyes.
Piper: That's a good way.
Leo: I'm sorry. That was completely inappropriate wasn't it?
Piper: No, not at all. Oh, what the hell. Leo, how do you feel about women who make the first move?
Leo: I don't know. I'm still waiting for it to happen.
Piper: Goodness.
[she kisses him]
Leo: Uh, how do you feel about guys who make the second move?
Piper: Love them.
[he kisses her]

Piper: Come on, Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff.
Phoebe: Sure, why not?
Piper: Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa.

Leo: It's just this, this whole situation - you know, Sam, your mom, those letters. He loved her. Like I love you.
Piper: Leo, we've been through this before. We both know how we feel, but there are things, people involved now.
Leo: Can you tell Dan the truth, Piper?
Piper: That's between him and me. You and I have a job to do and I thought we agreed to try and put that first.
Leo: So did Sam and your mom. Look at the outcome.
Piper: You're leaving, aren't you? For good this time.
Leo: I don't know. But I do know we have to stop working together because I can't stop loving you... which means I can't do my job.
Piper: And I can't do mine... I don't know how to say goodbye.
Leo: Don't.

Phoebe: 28 minutes, 33 seconds.
[Piper looks at her]
Piper: Really? We ran that long?
Phoebe: No, that's how long you've been comparing Leo and Dan.
Piper: I haven't been comparing - I've just been... talking.
Phoebe: Non-stop.

Phoebe: Piper.
Piper: Don't you "Piper" me.

Piper: Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry.
Mitzy Stillman: We've got them now.
Piper: Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?
Phoebe: Piper, death bad, life good.
Paige: Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job.
[the blonde sisters gasp]
Mabel Stillman: How dare you!
[Mabel blows up the doors]
Piper: Run!

Piper: You better run while you can, you little rodents.
[She stands up and looks up at the sky]
Piper: I bet you guys think this is real funny don't ya? Haven't you taken enough from me? You have to send trolls to kick me while I'm down. I had a nice normal life once and you took that from me. You took my boyfriend, you took my life, the least you could do is leave me my freakin' car keys. I am a good person, I am a good witch and d**n it I would've made a great wife. And how dare you take that from me. I deserve... no, you know what? I demand that you send him back to me. You hear me? Right now. I am going to stand in this very spot until you send Leo back to me.

Piper: Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner.
Prue: I'm not hungry.
Phoebe: I ate on the bus.
Piper: Okay, we'll try the group hug later.

Piper: Why didn't you save her?
Leo: I tried.
Piper: But you didn't. Why didn't they let you save her, too?
Leo: The Elders? They couldn't. They don't have that kind of power.
Piper: Then what the hell good are they?
[Piper stands up and walks away from Leo and finds a tissue, Leo follows]
Leo: It's okay to be angry.
Piper: I'm not angry. I am pissed off! Don't you understand? You healed the wrong sister! You saved me because I'm your d**n wife, and you should've saved her because she was the best! Because she, you should.
[She loses it again, overcome. Leo moves up behind her and this time, she lets him hold her]
Piper: Why do they put us through so much for it to end this way?

Phoebe: I mean, you're not even showing yet... except for your boobies.
Piper: I'm telling you, they are large and they are definitely in charge.

Phoebe: Okay, something really freaky happened last night when I was with Miles.
Piper: You guys are all ready getting freaky?

Phoebe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You, Leo, last night, dish.
Piper: Um, well, it was nice. It was... well, it was wonderful. We just had a few problems.
Phoebe: Problems?
Prue: What problems?
Piper: Well, it's been a while since, you know, I-I was a little nervous, and I kinda kept freezing him.
Prue: Piper, you didn't?
Piper: I didn't mean to... the first time.

Phoebe: I think I did something really bad... I slept with my boss.
Piper: Jason?
Phoebe: No, Elise! Yes, Jason!

[irishgirl418]

Piper: Leo…..Leo…..It’s about time.
Leo: Piper, I was busy.
Piper: Well, don’t you have orb-waiting?

Piper: So, he’s a demonic dog-catcher, and he uses ice cream as bait? Great news for the
lactose intolerant demons.

Piper: I don’t wanna connect.
Phoebe: We have to connect.
Piper: I don’t wanna try it.
Phoebe: Okay, but we have to because…
Piper: What?
Phoebe: What have we got to lose, okay?
[Ladies start stripping]
Piper: Well, apparently, we’ve got our clothes to lose.

Piper: Whoa, wait, what are you doing?
Phoebe: When in Rome.
Piper: No, no, no. We’re not in Rome, Phoebe, we’re in California, and it’s illegal here.
Phoebe: It’s totally natural, okay? Go for it, come on.
Piper: God, this is ridiculous. Can I keep my shoes on?

Rob: Clubs are an extremely high-risk business, Piper. You could lose your shirt.
Piper: Well, it wouldn’t be the first time today.

Prue: Great, we’re surrounded by warlocks.
Piper: Yeah, next time get your own damn lipstick.
Prue: I heard that.
Piper: I love you.
Prue: Bite me.

Piper: Leo’s the father.
Victor: Leo? I thought you guys split up?
Piper: We did.
Victor: Then how? I don’t understand.
Piper: Uh, he was dying and I was crying, and, um, it’s all very complicated.
Victor: So, Leo, he’s, um, moved on?
Piper: Yeah, but I’m happy for him. He really wanted to go.
Victor: He wanted to die?

Piper: Leo’s not around.
Victor: Was he ever?
Piper: Were you? Sorry.
Victor: No, no, no. I deserved that. I wasn’t around enough for you girls. But I want to
make up for that with Wyatt and his little…
Piper: It’s a boy. Chris, actually.
Victor: Chris? Why’d you choose that name?
Piper: I don’t know and he won’t tell me. He’s very secretive about the future. He’s
actually the reason I asked you to come. See he hates me and he doesn’t want to
talk to me, and I need you to find out why.
Victor: I don’t understand your wiccan ways, but I’ll try. [to fetus Chris] Hello Chris.
Chris, hello Chris. Can you hear me?
Chris: Is someone calling me?
Piper: Yeah, uh, Sweetie, could you come here a sec.
Victor: Geeze, he can come out?

[spiritsas]

From S8, Hulkus Pocus:
PHOEBE: That's a good plan! (Hands Piper the baby) Here you go. (Leaves speedily)

PIPER: No, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Phoebe, no, don't--! Damn it!

LEO: (mocking) Language!

PIPER: Now sure, now he stopped fussing.

LEO: Talk about a natural.

PIPER: Yes, and I have the stretch marks to prove it, thank you. What am I gonna do with Phoebe?

followed by:

LEO: Worry about her when you get home. What's the big deal? She takes a little
break from dating.

PIPER: The big deal is it's not who she is! The woman is a love machine, and if she gives up on men, something is very very wrong. And I know it's just that she's lost faith in her premonitions.

[lifeaspiper]

Phoebe: What are you doing, Piper?

Piper: I am taking my own advice!

[MarAcev]

From Holkus Pocus also:

Baby crying...
Phoebe: That's not yours.
Piper: That's not mine.

Simple, but really funny.

[spiritsas]

Or after they "hulk" up, she slaps Leo for using bad language, a running joke throughout the episode.

[spiritsas]

Soothsayer (to Piper and Leo): How many times a day do you make love?

Piper: A day?!! What are you nuts?!!!

[MarAcev]

Followed by...

"No wonder you wanted to see him."

From Muse to my ears:

Phoebe: Us theme, you potion
Piper: Me peeved, you annoying

[Primrose_Empath]

Phoebe: "Hey, you okay?"

Piper: "Yeah. Sure, why not? We could have another funeral tomorrow. I mean, all the dishes are out and we pretty much know who to invite."

(She holds a small white towel in her hand and faces Phoebe.)

Phoebe: "Piper…"

Piper: "Just tell me one thing. Are you insane or are you just plain stupid? We bury Prue this morning and you go off tonight and nearly join her. What the hell is the matter with you?"

Phoebe: "I was trying to save an innocent."

Piper: "No. You were trying to get yourself killed, which is what this family does best is get killed. (She throws the towel onto a counter in frustration and anger.) Isn't it obvious by now that our only destiny is to die? And you are making it way too easy for them, Phoebe. You are just walking right into it!"

(Phoebe embraces Piper.)

Phoebe: "I am so sorry."

Piper: "I cannot handle anything right now, and I certainly cannot handle losing another sister."

-- Charmed Again, Part I

***************************************
[Cut to a monastery. Leo orbs in with Piper and Paige. Piper backs away when she sees Prue's plaque.]

Paige: "Tell her, Piper. It's all right to hate her. (Piper tries to get out but the doors are locked.) You should hate her. When my parents died, I hated them for it. I was alone, and I hated them. It is okay to hate Prue."

(Piper looks at Paige.)

Piper: "How dare you! (She runs over to Prue's plaque and bangs on it.) How dare you leave me! How could you go and die and leave me here all alone? Please come back. I need you. (She starts to cry.) Please come back."

(She screams and sinks down on the ground. She sits there and bawls. She changes back to normal. Leo kneels down beside her.)

Leo: "It's okay. It's okay, honey."

Piper: "It's not okay. She risked her life everyday and she never thought about what would happen to me and Phoebe if she was gone."

(Paige starts to cry for the sister she never knew.)

Leo: "I know."

Piper: "How did she think that I could live without her?"

(Leo hugs her. Tears well up in Paige's eyes as she looks at Prue's plaque.)

-- Hell Hath No Fury

***************************************
Phoebe: "Good. All right, take a look."

(Piper looks at herself in a handheld mirror.)

Piper: "Yeah, okay. Think newly single mom, not two-bit hooker."

(Phoebe hands her some tissues.)

Phoebe: "Okay. We try again."

(Piper wipes off the lipstick.)

Piper: "You're a little distracted."

Phoebe: "I'm having a very hard time concentrating. I think this empath power is driving me crazy."

(Phoebe tries another shade of lipstick on Piper.)

Piper: "You?"

Phoebe: "Well, you try having PMS for three sisters every month. It's a good thing no one in this family is having sex, I'd be feeling that too."

Piper: "Yeah, okay, so let's skip the vamp red."

Phoebe: "You know, if I can't ignore the bloating and the cramping and the mood swings, how am I supposed to ignore the fact that my sister is scared to death?"

Piper: "Phoebe."

Phoebe: "Right, okay, I'm just gonna mind my own business."

Piper: "All we have to do is respect what Paige wants. And clearly what she wants is not our help."

Phoebe: "You know, she thinks that's what she wants but I know what she really wants, and what she really wants is our help."

Piper: "That's it, I'm staying home."

Phoebe: "What? Why?"

Piper: "To make sure that you leave Paige alone."

-- Love's A Witch

[lifeaspiper]

Phoebe: I told you not to say it.

Piper: O, so this is my fault!

[danielle213]

"I said no pep talks, nobody listens around here anymore"

[danielle213]

"Half breed"

[MarAcev]

Chick flick: "Ugh, it tastes like as$...phalt"

To Leo: "It wasn't much of a date last night, you wanna find a couple of seats in the back and make out before demon hunting?"

[danielle213]

To Phoebe "I've known you your whole life and there isnt a mean bone in your body and you need to believe that right now. "[/color]

Phoebe: But..

Piper: "No!! No way in hell!"

[danielle213]

To Barbus: "That was a good one...praying on an expectant mothers fears... but not that good"

[danielle213]

"Its not nice to piss off mother nature"