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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2015 23:36:12 GMT -5
Yeah, if Rose had gone, that would have been the end. I mean what could they have done, trot out yet another unknown sister?
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Post by Melinda Halliwell on Jul 28, 2015 15:18:17 GMT -5
Or some distant relative of Penny and Patty's who we find out was a witch also. (sighs) dear god.
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Post by lilchi7212 on Jul 28, 2015 15:22:19 GMT -5
I don't even know how this show survived for 8 long years.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 16:05:56 GMT -5
I don't even know how this show survived for 8 long years. Answer: It was on a dying, ratings-starved 5th non-network.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 17:19:56 GMT -5
Yeah, that's the sad irony of the whole thing.
As I said, Charmed only got Season Eight by default. The dying WB's shelves were literally bare by this point, they had nothing else left.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 18:08:00 GMT -5
Yeah, that's the sad irony of the whole thing. As I said, Charmed only got Season Eight by default. The dying WB's shelves were literally bare by this point, they had nothing else left. Yeah, pretty much. The WB cancelled more shows than renewed ones at the end of the 2004-05 season, and few of their new pilots were good enough to be worth picking up (one of which was a little show about two demon-hunting brothers and their Impala). Charmed's ratings collapsed in Season 7, but they weren't quite low enough for a desperate, dying network. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 19:47:54 GMT -5
If Charmed had been on any other network, including the Utterly Pointless Network, Season 7 would have probably been the end. We would have been spared the Budget Nuke, pointless guest stars, Mystery Girl and the Brood Of Brats. If only...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2015 17:05:54 GMT -5
Twitched By An Angel
Brody Boy Wonder has called Paige and Halliwell (that’s Phoebe, I’ll explain soon) to a fire on the WB lot.
Phoebe: “So we don't do fires. Firemen do fires. We do fireballs.”
I could give you a very long list of demons and other supernatural threats that like to kill using fire, so shut up Halliwell.
Guardian angels. They look kinda like a cross between the Cleaners and the Elders, but balder. A demon who I’m going to nickname Freddy due to his bladed glove, absorbs the Muse... ahem, I mean Guardian, into an amulet for his own use.
Paige: I'm hoping Kyle knows.
Phoebe: Okay, you know, can we please call him Agent Brody until we can trust him?
Halliwell does a lot of b!tching about this if I remember correctly... because now that she is single again, she has once again fallen back into her creepy obsession with Paige’s guys. Oh and in case you didn’t get my point, I’m calling her Halliwell so long as she insists on moaning about what people call Kyle. I don’t trust her in the least, so by her logic, she doesn’t deserve her given name.
Oh geez, it’s Peter Woodard. Really guys, reusing an actor is one thing, but one of your big bads? He may not have his contacts or stupid half face, but you can hardly mistake the nasal voice, the scenery chewing and the wide crazy eyes for anyone but our old Sourcey Peter!
Lots of exposition about how Freddy is sucking the Muses... I MEAN GUARDIANS, into his ring... I MEAN AMULET, so they can help him.
Piper: Yeah, yeah. Brody, fires, hunches. I got my own problems.
Yeah, yeah. People dying, innocents in danger, don’t they all know how hard Piper’s life is!?
Halliwell helps Piper make the vision quest potion for Leo.
The GAS Gang (That’s the Avatars in case anyone missed that) continue to torment Leo.
Leo: A vision quest? No way.
Piper: Leo, don't you dare leave. This is not just about you. You are a father and somebody's husband too.
Leo: Which is why it's too risky for me to be here.
Dude, I’m gonna be frank with you, ‘kay? You’re not that important! You’re not. If someone is after you, it’s usually to get to either A) The sisters or B) Your son... so you being a chicken sh!t and running off isn’t gonna solve a damn thing.
Paige gets her guardian stolen and this is bad for most people, but potentially catastrophic for Paige. Without a guardian she may twitch herself into oblivion at any moment.
Paige: What's going on is that we've figured what is killing all of those innocents. The demon is stealing their protectors. We think it's somehow connected to this whole new power thing.
Phoebe: And let me guess. This is another one of his hunches?
Halliwell, what the hell does it matter? People are dying, guardians are being used for evil... get off your lazy arse and save someone!
Phoebe: I wish I could but I can't. Leo needs some serious help.
Paige: What's new?
Paige is pretty quick to swipe at Leo this season huh? I’ll remember this when Kyle goes 50 Shades of Cray Cray.
Leo’s journey of self-discovery begins and thankfully we don’t have more babies, but we do have a son. Amongst the recycled footage from “Saving Private Leo” we have Drew Fuller... who got a hair cut FYI.
Freddy has killed Peter Woodard, because Paige’s angel is on steroids or something with her being Charmed and all. Bye bye Peter. Hooray. Okay, I’m sorry Peter, that was harsh; but you are terrible.
Piper: I don't think angels have angels, Phoebe. It's redundant.
I like how they acknowledge this casually when they’ve been calling whitelighters guardian angels for witches since season 1. *Sigh*
Leo: So you're real?
Chris: No. But I represent something that is. I died in your arms, dad. Killed by everything you thought was good. I'm your root pain, okay.
Ah okay, so as I thought, this isn’t Chris. Well, it is, but not... just a figment of Leo’s vision quest, a representation of his psychological scars. Something like that.
After a few quick flashbacks, Leo is all teary eyed and de-crazied or something. I dunno, NotChris reminds him what he’s fighting for or whatever.
Then Alpha takes charge of the vision quest so he can give Leo the GAS Gang's sales pitch.
Leo: Why are you haunting me?
Alpha: Haunting? (He chuckles.) No. The creature heads were a necessary part of guiding you to the truth. To the truth that lies beyond good and evil. To us.
WTF? No, really, that’s all I can say to that... WTF?
Freddy takes Brody Boy Wonder hostage.
Phoebe: So what are you gonna do if you find him?
Paige: What do you mean what am I gonna do? I am gonna save him. We are going to save him.
Phoebe: But it's a trap. The demon said so himself. He just took him for leverage.
Paige: So we're just gonna let him get killed?
Phoebe: He's not gonna kill him, okay? He needs him alive.
Paige: Yeah, but for how long? Piper, help me out.
Piper: I'm with Phoebe here. Sarpedon is really powerful and he's got all those guardians.
The status quo is more or less intact then. Piper cares about her husband and kids, end of. Phoebe cares about herself, end of. And Paige actually gives a sh!t about innocents.
Wait, wait, wait. Paige just scried for Kyle and it worked... he’s in the Underworld! What kinda map did she use?
Phoebe: True, but for all we know, the demon could already have Paige.
Piper: Us getting killed doesn't change that. Besides, I can't leave Leo.
Yep, there ya go. Husband- check, kids- check, everyone else- f**k ‘em!
Now for the very satisfying moment. Halliwell gets stabbed by Freddy. Piper blows him up, but for some bizarre reason, his glove doesn’t explode with him and ends up sticking in Piper’s gut.
Alpha yacks on about Utopia and I so can’t be bothered going into detail about it, ‘cause you all know how little sense it makes anyway.
Leo is pumped full of Avatary goodness and uses his new powers to resurrect his wife and sister in law... obviously not realising that leaving them dead would probably be our best shot and someday achieving world peace.
Leo gives a creepy “I know too much” look as we fade to credits.
Next up- If you thought it was bad when Charmed jumped the shark... wait till they’ve shot the gnome!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2015 17:25:54 GMT -5
Yeah, this was just a recycled plot from Muse To My Ears. Paige needs to tell Halliwell to back off. The guy goes from Source to Demon Of The Week. Talk about a demotion! Nobody said: "Uh, Brad, we did this three seasons ago." I'm sure all those dying Innocents are feeling your pain, Piper.  She can't, she has that baby daddy to find, after all. Amen to that. Angel Of Death: Aw crap, not them again! I can't wait! |
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Post by West on Jul 31, 2015 18:37:13 GMT -5
No, she didn't have a chance to re-sign, because they wouldn't have only signed her for one year. Alyssa and Holly re-signed for another four years; Rose didn't. Her contract must've been for 5 years or I doubt if she would've returned. I think I remember reading that it was. They signed Rose on for 5 years to cover both the last year of Holly and Alyssa's original contracts and the second 4 year contracts they would later sign. However, Rose never expected to actually finish out the entire 5 year contract, as nobody expected the show to last even close to that long without Shannen. Why did she sign in the first place. Didn't she know the likelyhood was she would be on there for more than a year, I mean it ain't like they would introduce a fifth sister. She always liked movies, its why I wished another actress got the part. Nothing against rose, but she was the weakest of the four, maybe it is just bad material and her only wanting to have done one season. If I was her, and hated TV regular gigs, I'd have not joined to begin with, even if there was strong chance it would end without Shannen after a year. Not worth the chance, and ending up begging it to end. Though she did suck it up and did the whole run without issues. Because no way Kern would of not have released her after the Shannen drama from her contract. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2015 22:47:13 GMT -5
Why did she sign in the first place. Didn't she know the likelyhood was she would be on there for more than a year, I mean it ain't like they would introduce a fifth sister. She always liked movies, its why I wished another actress got the part. Nothing against rose, but she was the weakest of the four, maybe it is just bad material and her only wanting to have done one season. If I was her, and hated TV regular gigs, I'd have not joined to begin with, even if there was strong chance it would end without Shannen after a year. Not worth the chance, and ending up begging it to end. Though she did suck it up and did the whole run without issues. Because no way Kern would of not have released her after the Shannen drama from her contract. Rose has said countless times that she expected to only be there for a year, and at the time, it really looked like that would happen. The ratings took a nosedive in Season 4 and put the show at risk for cancellation. Not even Kern expected the Season 5 renewal to happen, which is why he scrambled to tie up the whole Dark Phoebe/Source storyline in Season 4 instead of saving it for Season 5. Plus, Charmed was the first TV show Rose had ever done, so it's possible that she didn't really know what to expect from that kind of role at the time. If you notice, Rose hasn't done a starring TV role since Charmed. She's done guest appearances, like on Nip/Tuck and Once Upon a Time, but those are short-term projects like movies. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2015 23:39:48 GMT -5
Yeah, Rose can't be blamed for thinking that she'd only be there one year, two tops.
Yep, lesson learned. The only TV roles she'll probably do now are guest starring roles with a set number of episodes. Of course, she is also moving behind the camera. A lot of female actors do that as they get older and the roles dry up (sad that this is happening in 2015, but it is). If Rose wants to take her career in a new direction, more power to her.
For example, Roxann Dawson, who played B'Elanna Torres on Star Trek: Voyager, has more or less left acting for directing episodes of various TV shows (she started directing Voyager episodes, then went on to Enterprise, and shows after that).
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2015 8:21:19 GMT -5
Charmed Nausea... I mean, Noir.
We start with a grumpy old gnome who hates books and thinks that they’re dangerous. Well, this episode won’t help him much on that front. But really, starting your episode with a gnome? At least give me a chance to not hate you, guys!
First appearance of Notwarts librarian, Ms. Donovan, portrayed by Ann Cusack, who I’ve seen in many things.
The gnome, who Brian Krause apparently named “Mr. Monkeyshines” (hate to say it, but screw you Brian) gets sucked into a book called “Crossed, Double-Crossed”.
Leo tells Paige that Phoebe is helping him plan a date with Piper. Wow, he must be desperate if he wants her help. I think that that soon to be dead gnome probably knew more about romance!
And on that note... the gnome is found dead on the floor riddled with bullets. Charmed shot the gnome!
Phoebe bursts into Notwarts calling herself cupid and dialling her obnoxious-meter right up to the top. My memory of this season was clearly mistaken, because I thought she became far more tolerable once Nick Lachey left. But nope... same old self-important PhoeMe forcing advice down people’s throats whether they like it or not.
Paige: Yeah. I'd say we are definitely out of our league. We don't do bullets.
Oh Paige, seriously? Please, let’s not go there. We’re nowhere near far enough into this episode for me to get into that furious a rant.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Brody?
Paige: Kyle.
Phoebe: Okay, look, I'm sorry, I really am, and I tried, I did. But I don't trust him, therefore I'm gonna continue calling him Brody and you can call him Kyle because you have a crush on him.
...And she’s back to Halliwell until she stops being a massive b!tch.
Paige very wisely orbs Phoebe the hell out of her face. Another excellent use of your powers Paige; up there with apple in her mouth and cake in her face. But next time, instead of shouting “home”, I’d go with “volcano” or “nuclear waste dump” perhaps.
Alpha and Beta chat to Leo about bringing the sisters into the fold or whatever. I only mention it because this is the first time we really hear much of Beta’s sooooothing voice... she should do guided mediation recordings or something.
Piper: No, I know, I do, and I would like to do that as well, just, I don't know, I can't help but think...
Phoebe: Your guard's up.
Piper: Yeah, and...
Phoebe: You wanna lower it, you just can't.
Piper: But still, I...
Phoebe: Feel vulnerable and don't want to get hurt again.
Piper: Uh, could I possibly have a chance to express my feelings?
No, Piper! You feel what Halliwell says you feel, DO YOU HEAR ME!!?? No but really, you can just freeze her y’know; I mean the rule is that GOOD witches don’t freeze right? Well that ship sailed a long while ago. Or just blow her up, do us all a favour.
Piper: But then I can't just shut up and be happy, right?
Hit the nail on the head with that one Piper. I guess she’s a little self-aware at least.
Kyle: Gnome. Great. Now I suppose you're gonna tell me leprechauns and fairies exist now too?
Paige: Well, actually, yeah.
Kyle: Never mind. I can only take so much at a time.
Pfft, well then you’re on the wrong show dude. You’ll suffer with the rest of us and like it!
Paige figures out what the deal with the book is.
Paige: Close the book.
Kyle: What? Why?
Nobody on this show pays any damn attention... so they get sucked in.
They’re in black and white.
Paige: Oh, yeah, don't worry, magical things happen to us all the time but this is the first time in black and white.
For you Paige, yes... but we had an episode called “Chick Flick” and now I’m depressed thinking how I’d rather be watching season 2.
Kyle: You turned me into a felon, you know that, right? Breaking and entering, vandalism, theft.
Shooting a cop with a tranquilizer gun, holding her prisoner in a mental hospital, think you were doing alright anyway to be honest.
So we learn that in this world everyone wants The Falcon... because.
Halliwell has a vision, because she totally learned her lesson remember, of Paige and Kyle being sucked into the book.
Paige: They're dicks.
(Kyle chuckles.)
Kyle: Dicks.
*Eye roll*
Eddie: Nah, everyone knows the Maltese was a fake. This one's the real deal. The Burmese falcon.
Kyle: Burmese, you can't be serious. It's a total rip off.
Well this show should certainly know a rip off when it sees one!
Paige: Falcon? What is it with this falcon? Why does everyone want it so badly?
Eddie: Because we wrote them that way, that's why.
Pah! Like the mantra of every Charmed writer. It’s this way, because we wrote it this way, don’t expect reasons or logic.
So even though it’s been 20 years in our world, to Eddie it’s been like a day. Which makes no sense because the gnome was shot and spat back out in a matter of minutes.
Leo: Paige is still alive in there. I don't know about Kyle.
Halliwell: Wait, you're calling him Kyle now, too?
Leo: Well, that's his name, isn't it?
Halliwell: I knew she should not have gotten him involved in this. This is a bad idea. I'm sure it's his fault.
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Piper: Lana and the Fed?
Halliwell: Hey, at least he's not calling him Kyle, you know what I mean?
Get over it you childish sow! You don’t wanna know what I’d like to call you!
Piper: I read a lot.
Halliwell: Yeah, I know you do. Maybe you should get out a little more.
Yeah Piper, reading is just for losers who don’t have sex on their work desk every half hour!
Paige does her femme fatale bit and I don’t care how much Rose is enjoying herself, her acting makes me wince.
Okay, Phoebe has started calling him Kyle, so she gets her given name back... even though I still don’t trust her.
Eddie gets the stupid falcon statue from the safe and smashes it, which I guess ends the story. Y’know, most books don’t just end dead right after the climax... but whatever. The book spits everyone out.
Eddie: Yeah, well, what do I do now?
Piper: You go home. Your parents will be thrilled to see you. They never gave up on you.
Leo (at Piper): Or each other.
Leo’s really catching onto Piper and Phoebe’s main power....the power to make any situation all about themselves.
Kyle: Remember our deal, right?
Paige: I remember there being talk of a deal.
Kyle: So I suppose that you'll find time to help me with the Avatars?
Paige: I suppose you'll wanna look at the books at Magic School?
Kyle: I suppose I'm not thinking about those books right now.
Paige: I suppose I'm hoping you're not thinking of those books.
Kyle: I wonder if I know what you mean.
Paige: I wonder if I... Shut up and kiss me.
THE END
*Massive hurling noise*
Okay, we’re diving head first into the Avatar stuff next time guys, so don't forget to put on your crash helmets.
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Post by lilchi7212 on Aug 1, 2015 8:42:31 GMT -5
Yeah, that's the sad irony of the whole thing. As I said, Charmed only got Season Eight by default. The dying WB's shelves were literally bare by this point, they had nothing else left. They had Reba,Smallville,Seventh Heaven, and the first season of Supernatural |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2015 9:43:53 GMT -5
Another great review, P3Nathan! I never realized how much "Charmed Noir" was just a poor man's "Chick Flick," until you said this "For you Paige, yes... but we had an episode called “Chick Flick” and now I’m depressed thinking how I’d rather be watching season 2." I feel your pain. They had Reba,Smallville,Seventh Heaven, and the first season of Supernatural None of those aired on Sundays like Charmed. Even with Season 7's ratings collapse, the show still got better Sunday ratings than anything else the WB could put in the time slot. |
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Post by Esmeralda on Aug 1, 2015 10:23:58 GMT -5
YAY! Looks like I've got a couple of reviews to read when I get home tomorrow night. Can't wait!
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Post by Esmeralda on Aug 1, 2015 10:31:19 GMT -5
Another great review, P3Nathan! I never realized how much "Charmed Noir" was just a poor man's "Chick Flick," until you said this "For you Paige, yes... but we had an episode called “Chick Flick” and now I’m depressed thinking how I’d rather be watching season 2." I feel your pain. They had Reba,Smallville,Seventh Heaven, and the first season of Supernatural None of those aired on Sundays like Charmed. Even with Season 7's ratings collapse, the show still got better Sunday ratings than anything else the WB could put in the time slot. BettyNewbie, do you know when Charmed switched from Thursday nights to Sundays? I know it started on Wednesdays because I volunteer at a cat shelter on Wednesdays and I'd get home in time to see the last half of Charmed - which was pretty strange! Then the next season it switched to Thursdays so I was able to see the whole thing - plus they reran an episode from Season One the hour before, so I got to see what I was missing. But I don't remember for sure when it switched to Sundays - I just remember going over to my friend's (she loves to cook and loves to experiment and I get to be her "guinea pig" - every Sunday she tries something new and I get to tell her what I think while we watch a movie from her extensive DVD collection - and she has a wall TV while I just have a little 10-incher. We call it "doing dinner and a movie") and being disappointed that I'd miss Charmed, only to go over to her place and find her watching it! Neither of us knew that the other watched the show! But I can't remember when that happened. I'm just curious what happened to Charmed's ratings when it switched. |
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Post by lilchi7212 on Aug 1, 2015 10:34:58 GMT -5
Another great review, P3Nathan! I never realized how much "Charmed Noir" was just a poor man's "Chick Flick," until you said this "For you Paige, yes... but we had an episode called “Chick Flick” and now I’m depressed thinking how I’d rather be watching season 2." I feel your pain. They had Reba,Smallville,Seventh Heaven, and the first season of Supernatural None of those aired on Sundays like Charmed. Even with Season 7's ratings collapse, the show still got better Sunday ratings than anything else the WB could put in the time slot. Well you never said Sundays. |
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Post by adzpower on Aug 1, 2015 11:45:58 GMT -5
"Paige very wisely orbs Phoebe the hell out of her face. Another excellent use of your powers Paige; up there with apple in her mouth and cake in her face. But next time, instead of shouting “home”, I’d go with “volcano” or “nuclear waste dump” perhaps."
LOL. Cracked up at this. Paige definitely used her powers for the greater good.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2015 11:49:04 GMT -5
Yeah, you know when an episode starts with a gnome, it's all downhill from here. Phoebe helping with romance!? What's next, Bristol Palin giving advice against unsafe sex, oh wait... Yep, her latest beefcake is gone, business as usual for PhoebME. That damned mind eating virus again. Halliwell: Blah, blah, blah.. Piper: Blows her up. Oops! Abandon all hope here, Kyle. Rose liked this episode. Of course, she's a fan of film noir. Oh, I can guess what that is. I wonder just how Halliwell made it through college. Hmmmmm... Happy, happy, joy, joy.. |
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