P3Nathan's Season 7 Rewatch

[Deleted]

Okay so I know I said I was going to take the weekend off, but I've got a couple of days of work and I needed a distraction.
Here we go-


Go Do That Hindu That You Do...... So Badly
a.k.a. A Call to Arms

Alright, season seven, here we go, fresh season. Let’s see if this premiere is as terrible as I remember it.



Paige doesn’t want to change Chris because she saw him in his 20s. I get that that could be odd, but Paige, it’s a different Chris, just keep that in mind. Different time line, different life.




Paige: I'm just kidding. Sort of. Look, I love being a stay-at-home aunty, I really, really do, I just, I'm going crazy.

Well then get a freakin’ job already! Why do you need to be stay at home aunty when Piper’s there in her PJs anyway?




Phoebe reminds them about Christy’s wedding. No, not that Christy. She’ll be in a cave somewhere being taught about what horrid people these witches are, I should imagine. No, this Christy is some random woman who we’re supposed to believe is there good friend or whatever... obviously she’ll be totally dead to them right after her wacky wedding has served its plot purpose, so who cares?

So Piper has developed a bit of an overprotective thing due to Chris’ death.

Leo is on the rampage looking for Barbas. Hey it’s Uncle Phil and Leo’s out to fry some Elder with a little gentle nudging from Barbas.

New season, new opening credits. Phoebe’s hair looks far better.




Phoebe is apparently in a rut and Paige has noticed.

Phoebe: You agree? What do you know about my ruts?

Let’s not go there Phoebe, you’ve shared far too much with all of us.





Paige: Well, um, I know you gave some great advice to "Lost in Los Altos" about finding a new love, but, uh, you gave the same advice to "Dumped in Daly" last year.

Okay, A) Paige, the fact that you kept and remembered her column from a year ago shows that you really do need to get out more; because that’s possibly the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. B) So what? Two people can’t benefit from the same advice? I seriously doubt any real life advice columnist gives 100% fresh advice to every single letter they receive through their whole career. Besides doesn't “follow your heart” sum up 90% of her column anyway?




Phoebe: So maybe I should stop giving advice to people in finding love until I figure out how to find it myself.
Paige: You'll find it, you foresaw it.

Nope, once again, she saw a pregnancy, not a guy. Last time she was pregnant, the baby was demonic and the dad was dead! You never know.




Uncle Phil comes to talk to Phoebe and Paige about Leo.

Zola: Leo didn't really want to kill me, I know that. Still, if he had, there would have been no redeeming him. He would've had to been recycled.
Paige: Recycled like what? Recycled like plastic?
Zola: No, I mean like sent back, reborn to start the cycle of life over again.

So you mean reincarnated then? Just say reincarnated!




He warns them about “a powerful new threat” all very vague. Seeing the floaty head, I’m not convinced they knew it was going to be The Avatars until later.

Aww, Chris is wearing a Peter Rabbit hat, cute.



Piper: Chris didn't die. He's alive.

Wrong, Piper. Again: different timeline, different life, different Chris. Season 6 Chris is dead as dead can be.



Hey it’s the demon healer guy from Siren Song.

Since when did Barbas have energy balls? Didn’t he only have them in his last appearance because he stole it from Cole?




I’d like to take this time to have a moment of silence for Elise Rothman. I knew it was heading this way in season 6, but it’s definitely happened now. Elise has clearly been killed and replaced by a Phoebe Ego-Tron.

Elise: It was brilliant, Phoebe. I mean, you make us look so classy when your advice is provocative, insightful...

*Sigh* rest in peace Elise, at least you’re in a better place now... by which I mean away from Phoebe.





Phoebe: Plagiarized. Don't worry, I stole from myself.

Yeah, that’s obviously not plagiarism then is it? Idiot.





So Elise suggests the two month sabbatical. If I remember correctly, even after this point there are moments where they refer to Elise as this super harsh, tough boss. Pfft, wish I got two months off to recharge. You know, now that I think of it, last week when I was filing paper work, I did it the EXACT same way as I did it the last time! Oh my God! That’s just not okay is it? I’ll have to ask my boss for some "Phoebe time" before it gets any worse.




Ah here we go, at the wedding.

Piper: When you're a mother, you'll understand.
Phoebe: Okay, that's assuming I'm gonna have any eggs left. (Phoebe tries to open the stroller.) How do you do this thing?

Not one person on the planet needed to hear that Phoebe! Not one!




(They take the wedding programs off of a table and look at the illustration on the front.)

Piper: Is this a wedding or an orgy?

Looking at the picture, I’m pretty sure they’re just embracing... that’s what it looks like to me anyway, but whatever. And what, suddenly the Charmed Ones are shy about sex? Please!




Sheridan and Darryl make an appearance.

Phoebe: You're gonna have to choose a side, Darryl. It's just the way it works.

Yeah, it’s us or the law Darryl. Pick one!




I guess at least the wedding ceremony itself is fairly respectful and not entirely inaccurate...though of course simplified a lot.

Urgh and that’s where my little bit of positivity will end, because we have the arms. Bright side, bright side, try to find a bright side. Well they could have given Piper an elephant’s head or something; that would have been more offensive, right? Yeah, there’s no bright side to this is there?

Where’d they get the clothes from? Urgh, the terrible arm effect, the faux-Indian music in the background... It’s all just terrible. I’m actually amazed that this didn’t raise any red flags!

Elise hires Nick Lachey: Actor extraordinaire!

Paige finds the gods in the BOS. If they have sex, the earth goes boom. Well we all knew Piper and Leo would be the death of us all!




Leo: I don't want to fight it. I haven't felt this potent in years.

Phoebe: Over sharing.

Pah! You can talk, Ms. Egg-Count! But also... agreed and while I'm at it... ew!




Thinking of this god plot, absolutely nothing comes of it. Nothing. It really is pointless. Costume and CGI stupidity for the sake of it.

Notwarts is closing, because without Gideon, nobody will fight the Elders to keep it open. Yeah screw the kids! Once again, everyone on this show is eager to give up at a moment’s notice. Also why are the Elders fighting against it anyway?




Mrs. Winterbourne: Against the Elders? You don't stand a chance. No offence, but Gideon was the only one that could stand up to them and convince them he could keep it safe from demons discovering us, or mortals for that matter.

And what? Powerful, magical kids running round without a place to go or any guidance is going to make the risk of that smaller?





Phoebe meets Leslie... A MAN!!!! And immediately starts being as sexist and idiotic as she possibly can. Also, never fear that Phoebe no longer has empathy as an excuse for her lack of self-control, because now the god vibes have infected her or something. Of course Leslie seems really into the insane, predatory, sexist, idiot of a woman that he just met, because it’s Phoebe and Phoebe is amazing. Puke, puke, PUKE!!

Oh and Nick, as it turns out, is more qualified than Phoebe is. Ha!




Elise: He's relocating to L.A. in a couple of months which works out perfectly for how long you want to be away.

Yes and perfect for the WBs stunt casting “hunk of the month” criteria, for 2D characters that are going to go absolutely nowhere interesting or worthwhile.




Piper holding the baby. All those arms around the kid is really creepy. Ergh.

Phoebe comes in having a b!tch fit about Leslie and Paige can’t even hide the fact that she clearly doesn’t give a damn about her stupid issues.




Phoebe: I mean, it's just the most ridiculous... Have you even ever heard of a male advice columnist? I haven't.

Granted, they’re less common, but yes I have, quite a few actually. Also, hello? Spencer Ricks? I know that’s not a great example, but they exist in Charmed world is my point.




Phoebe: But I don't care what the book says about the divine horniness only being rubbed off if you're attracted to someone, because there's no way I'm attracted to him. Huh. Huh. Oh god, I hope he's not the one from my vision. I think I'm gonna be sick.

What the hell has he done to warrant this bile? I wonder if deep down (or as deep as you can get with someone this shallow) it’s less about Leslie being male and more that Phoebe is threatened by the notion of anyone possibly doing a better job than her and showing her up to be the emotionally juvenile snot that she really is! Hmm, something to ponder perhaps.




Sheridan busts into the house because they didn’t go down to the police station. Erm yeah, as Darryl points out, that doesn’t mean you get to break in and point a gun in people’s faces.

Crazy Leo hurls Sheridan at the wall. Ouch, that looked painful... although I can’t deny I’m kinda with him on that one.




But not on this one. So Leo kills again, with a little nudge from Barbas. But I think it is just a gentle nudge, I think it was mostly Leo and he seems to get that. This is why I like what they do with Leo, his descent and his line crossing aren’t glossed over despite how much Piper tries too, he really seems to get the gravity of what he did.

Piper: You were tricked.
Leo: Was I?




It’s a shame this had to be alongside the pointless god stuff, because now they’ve been de-godified and like I said, nothing came of it at all.

Barbas’ last vanquish. Pretty anti-climactic really. I forgot to mention, he keeps saying in his plan that he wanted to get Leo “their body guard” out of the way. Since when was Leo their body guard? Get the dues ex machina healer out of the way, sure. But bodyguard?




Barbas: Fear always comes back!

Only in comic book form I’m afraid, Barbas... so buh bye.




Back to Phoebe and Leslie... do we have to, really? Urgh.

Phoebe: And I liked it. There was some good advice in there, considering you're a guy.
Les: Well, thanks... I think. Of course, I wouldn't want to sully your good name.
Phoebe: You'd better not. Good luck.

Of course there’s no apology for being sexist, rude, or unprofessional... what an arsehole. I don’t even like Leslie and yet I wish he’d get her job permanently just to spite her!



Paige is gonna fight for Notwarts.

Piper is over her agoraphobia because being the ultimate mother gave her some tips. Oh that’s the reason you’re going with for all that stupidity? Yeah, okay, whatever you say, we're nearly done so let's not dwell.

The Great and Powerful Oz wants Leo, but not before he melts Phoebe and delivers her broom to him.

DUN DUN DUN.




So yeah, it was pretty much as bad as I remembered. Did I write more there than I did for both parts of the s6 finale? Wouldn't surprise me.
Thank God this wasn't a two parter! Don't have much nice to say about the WB usually, but I can at least thank them for sparing us double A Call to Arms. Eck!

[Deleted]

Well then get a freakin’ job already! Why do you need to be stay at home aunty when Piper’s there in her PJs anyway?

Yeah, Paige, remember that college degree.  Before you changed your hair colour and your IQ dropped about fifty points.

No, this Christy is some random woman who we’re supposed to believe is there good friend or whatever... obviously she’ll be totally dead to them right after her wacky wedding has served its plot purpose, so who cares?

Christy who? 

Season 6 Chris is dead as dead can be.

Technically he never existed at all, since his time line was erased.

Elise hires Nick Lachey: Actor extraordinaire!

Hard to believe he was never nominated for an Emmy for this powerful and moving role

hinking of this god plot, absolutely nothing comes of it. Nothing. It really is pointless. Costume and CGI stupidity for the sake of it.

Charmed needed to stay far away from other cultures.  They always went for the ethnic stereotypes every time.

Sheridan busts into the house because they didn’t go down to the police station. Erm yeah, as Darryl points out, that doesn’t mean you get to break in and point a gun in people’s faces.

Sheridan was the epitome of Patriot Act America.  Civil rights?  F*ck them, they're all traitors!

Only in comic book form I’m afraid, Barbas... so buh bye.

They should change his name to Wyle E. Coyote.

Paige is gonna fight for Notwarts.

And she wins, unfortunately for the rest of us.

Thank God this wasn't a two parter! Don't have much nice to say about the WB usually, but I can at least thank them for sparing us double A Call to Arms. Eck!

Amen to that.

[Chrisaholic]

What made me wonder though: Gideon was after Wyatt and killed Chris in the progress. Yet Leo and others insist at the very beginning that there was only a threat to Wyatt? Hello, Chris was killed!! No matter if he was born on the same day! As said before: different timeline, different people. *urgh*

[Deleted]

Big Chris, out of sight, out of mind, it seemed

[Deleted]

Very much so.

Although I do like how they used Drew's appearance this season, if I remember correctly at least (even if he was just a figment). Got a while before that episode though.

[Astral Vision]

A great start to your season seven reviews. Definitely the longest review you've done yet, but that just adds to the fun of reading more of your comments on many more parts of that episode.

I agree. I don't think I could have dealt with a two part episode for that season premiere. I guess they would have had either Piper or Leo decide that they didn't want to go back to being themselves and therefore runaway at the end of the first part to drag it out into two parts and also once again borrow from the plots of the season five and six premieres. Though, I guess this season, it would be Leo's turn to do that, since Piper already did that in both the season six premiere and the season five finale (though just for a couple of minutes in that finale as opposed to at the halfway point in the premieres).

[Deleted]

Thank you for your comments everyone. @astral Vision- Yeah that probably is how it would have turned out, thank goodness it at least had the decency to be over in 40 mins.


We’re Not Sexist, But...
a.k.a The Bare Witch Project  (just writing that title, I feel embarrassed)

Well this episode certainly starts as it means to go on; with Phoebe whining some more about Leslie.

Phoebe: No. I mean, yes, but first you're supposed to listen, then you're supposed to validate feelings. At least that's what a woman would do, but not a man, they go straight to fixing it.

Piper attempts to reassure her... but it goes in one ear, through that massive echoing void, and out the other.
For what it’s worth Phoebe, I know a lot of men in work like counselling and healthcare etc. And I can honestly say that they’re some of the most sensitive, attentive people I’ve ever met. So you can take all your generalizations, your prejudices and shove them up your self-aggrandizing arse!


Phoebe finds her breast feeding cause... which is actually all about her column, obviously. Urgh!


Paige meets with The Elders and none of them give a single hoot about Notwarts it seems.

How old are these “kids”? Some of them look older than Rose!

By the way, this is John De Lancie’s first appearance as the recurring Elder Grumpus



Elder Grumpus: The point remains that with Gideon no longer around, the safety of this institution, both to the students and to the outside world can no longer be guaranteed.

Erm, remember when the headless horseman was let loose in San Francisco? Gideon was around for that one guys. Also, I find it pretty telling that The Elders still consider Gideon, the recently revealed child and teacher murderer, as a good guy to insure a school’s safety!




Oh here we go, Lady Godiva.

Student: Naked woman!

Hey look everyone, Brad Kern based one of the student characters on himself!



Rose’s mugging is on top form this episode.

Dyson the demon, who for some reason is a ghost at first and for some reason is linked to Godiva’s time travel (don’t expect explanations for either), gets Duncan the conjurer to beat up Brad Kern by absorbing is repression.




Phoebe: So what? Then we hit two Neanderthals with one stone.

Now Leslie is a Neanderthal. Why, because he doesn’t pick the letters you want him to? They’re still your readers Phoebe. Maybe the readers who’s “fix it letters” aren’t deemed worthy of being in your wonderful, precious column will actually appreciate his advice.




Phoebe: So they conjured a sex object?

Oh there’s that sensitivity, huh Phoebe?
A) She’s stood right in front of you, you rude cow! B) You can talk! Remember “Prince Charmed”? C) Shut up! I am so beyond sick of you this episode and we’re not even close to half way through!




Throw in a few standard “person from the past is scared of modern appliances” clichés.

Leo is busy torturing demons, because I guess he decided the answer to crossing the line and killing again was to carry on being as violent as possible. Good plan Leo, all the best with that!




Piper: If I don't spend some time at P3, we will lose our only source of income.

Woah, woah, woah! Hang on. Are they saying Phoebe is on unpaid leave? Okay, because seriously, especially with the way she’s been hovering around the office and obsessing about the column, I would be kicking her arse back to that job so hard. Like hell she’d be living under my roof contributing nothing while whining non-stop at me about the job she took time off from!




Urgh, speaking of which, we have another Phoebe-Leslie scene. How many episodes does this last again (checks Charmed Wiki)... oh hell, six?!! Back in a second, I just need to leave for a quick scream/cry...

...Okay I’m back. Well I actually have very little to say about the scene, other than to point out the fact that these two have so little chemistry that it’s actually pretty awkward. I don’t care if Nick did have a crush on Alyssa for years; it sure isn’t coming through on screen.



There’s a riot at Notwarts. No, Phoebe didn’t get her empathy back and visit the place, this is the dastardly work of Dyson.

Paige gets zapped by unrepressed Elder Grumpus and Dyson is made solid.




Phoebe: Oh, probably wasn't breast fed as a child.

Yes, your little sister was attacked but let’s stick with your issues, Phoebe. Gosh, your problems are so real!




Piper: Woman, keep your clothes on, this is a family show. Really.

Pfft, whatever you say Piper.




Leslie turns up, sees Godiva and Phoebe passes her off as yet another distant cousin. She could just say she’s a friend, but then I doubt anyone would be convinced that she has those.

This actually shapes up to be a pretty good Phoebe-Leslie scene, believe it or not, because Phoebe goes on one of her rants and Leslie totally shuts her up! It’s awesome. Then they completely ruin it by having him immediately apologise and start arse-kissing. Bleurgh!




Paige: No. Not if the demon feeds off of repressions. Maybe that's how he gains his strength.
Piper: Well, then that would make the reverse true as well. Your ride starved him into oblivion.

Oh please. If he feeds on repressed anger, I daresay a naked woman on horseback in the 11th century would provide him with plenty of appalled and angry spectators to feed on.




Phoebe: Uh, why didn't he explode?

Because as you’ve just established, you need to send them back together, that’s why he didn’t explode!!! I...can’t...take... GAAAAAAAAAH!!!!


So here we have Charmed’s bizarre idea of what the world would be like without Godiva’s ride. Phoebe and Leslie are married for some reason and he has her column, because it’s a man’s world, get it? Also women dress like depressed nuns and everything is grey, because men hate all other colours or something. It’s all really stupid. They’ve acknowledged in this very episode that Godiva was about unfair taxes, so how they got from there to this I dunno. Well no actually, I think I do... in Kern’s head, naked women = feminism, right?


None of the sisters know what flogging is. Well hey, bright side- If the women in the timeline aren’t educated, The Charmed Ones should fit in pretty darn well.




Paige finds Duncan the conjurer.

Duncan: Just because these guys are getting away with some piss-a$$ magic, doesn't mean we're not being watched.

Piss-a$$? Oh Charmed, please don’t try to do street lingo.



I don’t understand why they need Duncan to write the spell anyway, they conjure all the damn time!




Phoebe: No Joan of Arc, no Catherine the Great, none of them are in here.

And I guess it’s all because of those taxes. *Sigh* 




Dyson feeds off Piper and here I thought she was a beacon of calming energy.

Paige snaps Piper out of it and Dyson flees from Piper’s explosive mojo, despite already establishing that it is ineffective when used on him... but whatever.




Paige: Well, guys, we'd better come up with a plan because Lord Dyson is out there getting stronger as we speak.
Phoebe: Thanks to Piper.

Are you still de-repressed Piper? Because if you feel like blowing her up, I’ll vouch for you when you say it was an accident. Promise.



So Dyson overdoses on Leo’s repressed anger, which is a massive pile of BS. So this demon feeds off repressed anger, but explodes if he tries it on someone too angry? Yeah, that’s not really freakin’ stupid or anything!


Duncan sends Lady Godiva back to her time using a spell that required the Power of Three in season one. I can practically hear the writers responding: “The Power of Three? What’s that?”


Paige becomes headmistress of Notwarts. Screw all those staff members there who have actual teaching experience!




Oh no, can’t I skip this part. Okay, you know what, I have to say, I’ve done really well keeping my swearing under control. Seriously, I deserve a medal for keeping these reviews PG... more or less. Just wanted to throw that out there before this last scene.


So Phoebe trots in on horseback, butt naked with yet another blonde wig; this one long enough to cover her boobs. Somebody arrest her for crying out loud! If Elise were still alive she’d be firing her for making the paper look like an embarrassing joke!

Phoebe: It's a shame that women have to take off their clothes to be heard.

They don’t Phoebe, speak for yourself; many use their brains... but I know that’s not really in your wheelhouse.




Leslie is watching this from his office window and is really inspired. Of course, because she’s so brilliant and clever and insightful and sensitive and wonderful and celestial and amazing and mysterious and beautiful and courageous and enlightened and why am I pointing a gun at my own head and BANG!



Okay, it’s over. I’m off to down a bottle of whisky. Nobody wake me for at least a week, by then the rage will have subsided.

[Darkhorse Christian]

Okay. It's official. You just saw it here. Phoebe Halliwell is the most hilariously frustrating character on planet Earth.

Emphasis on hilarious.

[Deleted]

We’re Not Sexist, But...
a.k.a The Bare Witch Project

And a woman wrote this sexist rubbish.  Yep, that's true.

By the way, this is John De Lancie’s first appearance as the recurring Elder Grumpus

Hey, Q, get back to the Star Trek universe, where you belong!

I find it pretty telling that The Elders still consider Gideon, the recently revealed child and teacher murderer, as a good guy to insure a school’s safety!

Gee, was Charles Manson not available

Rose’s mugging is on top form this episode.

Yeah, I still think she did this to protest the deterioration of her character as time went on.  Back in S4, when Paige was strong, she never mugged or twitched.

Now Leslie is a Neanderthal. Why, because he doesn’t pick the letters you want him to? They’re still your readers Phoebe. Maybe the readers who’s “fix it letters” aren’t deemed worthy of being in your wonderful, precious column will actually appreciate his advice.

Oh BURN!

Oh there’s that sensitivity, huh Phoebe?
A) She’s stood right in front of you, you rude cow! B) You can talk! Remember “Prince Charmed”? C) Shut up! I am so beyond sick of you this episode and we’re not even close to half way through!

As I said, the wrong sister got thrown through that wall.

Leo is busy torturing demons, because I guess he decided the answer to crossing the line and killing again was to carry on being as violent as possible. Good plan Leo, all the best with that!

Because in Charmedland, it's only evil if Warlocks and Demons are doing the killing.

Urgh, speaking of which, we have another Phoebe-Leslie scene. How many episodes does this last again (checks Charmed Wiki)... oh hell, six?!! Back in a second, I just need to leave for a quick scream/cry...

...Okay I’m back. Well I actually have very little to say about the scene, other than to point out the fact that these two have so little chemistry that it’s actually pretty awkward. I don’t care if Nick did have a crush on Alyssa for years; it sure isn’t coming through on screen.

Jack and Janet on Three's Company had more chemistry than these two, and they weren't even romantically involved.

Yes, your little sister was attacked but let’s stick with your issues, Phoebe. Gosh, your problems are so real!

I'm PhoebME!  Emphasis on ME!

So here we have Charmed’s bizarre idea of what the world would be like without Godiva’s ride. Phoebe and Leslie are married for some reason and he has her column, because it’s a man’s world, get it? Also women dress like depressed nuns and everything is grey, because men hate all other colours or something. It’s all really stupid. They’ve acknowledged in this very episode that Godiva was about unfair taxes, so how they got from there to this I dunno. Well no actually, I think I do... in Kern’s head, naked women = feminism, right?

I know.  Never mind the likes of Susan B. Anthony and others like her.  In Kern's mind, this is the reason why women today enjoy the rights they do.

Also, as I have said, Godiva's horse ride was a myth, it never happened.  This would be like having Germany win World War II because Robin Hood had a heart attack while Phoebe was shagging him. 

Duncan sends Lady Godiva back to her time using a spell that required the Power of Three in season one. I can practically hear the writers responding: “The Power of Three? What’s that?”

Writer:  Gosh, duhhhhh...  The Power Of Three? 

So Phoebe trots in on horseback, butt naked with yet another blonde wig; this one long enough to cover her boobs. Somebody arrest her for crying out loud! If Elise were still alive she’d be firing her for making the paper look like an embarrassing joke!

Phoebe: It's a shame that women have to take off their clothes to be heard.

They don’t Phoebe, speak for yourself; many use their brains... but I know that’s not really in your wheelhouse.

Phoebe thinks with part of her anatomy that I can't say on a family friendly board.


Another great and funny review.

[Deleted]

Alas, "Bare Witch Project" was another one of those episodes that was clearly commissioned by the Frog Network for advertising purposes.  Just take a gander at the awful, hilariously inaccurate poster they made to promote the episode.  It looks like the poster for a damn porno flick!

[Chrisaholic]

Oh dear God, I hated this episode. First of all that cliché with blondines and with Phoebe not letting go of her column! Woman, grow up. The world doesn't circle around you only!! What made me smile though is when Leo returned with the kids, he said that vanquishing demons calmed baby Chris. lol There was something left of the adult!

[Esmeralda]

Jul 19, 2015 6:59:49 GMT -5 Astral Vision said:

A great start to your season seven reviews. Definitely the longest review you've done yet, but that just adds to the fun of reading more of your comments on many more parts of that episode.

I agree. I don't think I could have dealt with a two part episode for that season premiere. I guess they would have had either Piper or Leo decide that they didn't want to go back to being themselves and therefore runaway at the end of the first part to drag it out into two parts and also once again borrow from the plots of the season five and six premieres. Though, I guess this season, it would be Leo's turn to do that, since Piper already did that in both the season six premiere and the season five finale (though just for a couple of minutes in that finale as opposed to at the halfway point in the premieres).

For your first Season 7 review, P3Nathan, I'm just going to quote this and say DITTO! Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Esmeralda]

Jul 19, 2015 18:23:02 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Thank you for your comments everyone. @astral Vision- Yeah that probably is how it would have turned out, thank goodness it at least had the decency to be over in 40 mins.


We’re Not Sexist, But...
a.k.a The Bare Witch Project  (just writing that title, I feel embarrassed)

Hehehehehehe!

Well this episode certainly starts as it means to go on; with Phoebe whining some more about Leslie.

Phoebe: No. I mean, yes, but first you're supposed to listen, then you're supposed to validate feelings. At least that's what a woman would do, but not a man, they go straight to fixing it.

Piper attempts to reassure her... but it goes in one ear, through that massive echoing void, and out the other.
For what it’s worth Phoebe, I know a lot of men in work like counselling and healthcare etc. And I can honestly say that they’re some of the most sensitive, attentive people I’ve ever met. So you can take all your generalizations, your prejudices and shove them up your self-aggrandizing arse!

I think that's what I would like to say to PhoeME more than just about anything else I've read. You've NAILED her, perfectly!  And she probably wishes you had...

Phoebe finds her breast feeding cause... which is actually all about her column, obviously. Urgh!


Paige meets with The Elders and none of them give a single hoot about Notwarts it seems.

How old are these “kids”? Some of them look older than Rose!

Hehehehehe!

By the way, this is John De Lancie’s first appearance as the recurring Elder Grumpus

My absolutely totally LEAST-favorite of all Elders - the one who proved to me that indeed he was a whitelighter who like Leo was promoted to Elderhood much too early and whose power has now gone totally to his head! Season Seven without him would've been a MUCH better season, especially because without him, Leo would've gone from Avatar back to whitelighter where he belongs, even if it means Piper could never be "happy" because she'd never get her little errand boy.

Elder Grumpus: The point remains that with Gideon no longer around, the safety of this institution, both to the students and to the outside world can no longer be guaranteed.

Erm, remember when the headless horseman was let loose in San Francisco? Gideon was around for that one guys. Also, I find it pretty telling that The Elders still consider Gideon, the recently revealed child and teacher murderer, as a good guy to insure a school’s safety!

Anyone else need proof that the Elders are now more demonic than the demons? No wonder why I cheered for the Powers of Evil much more than the Powers of Good during this season!

Oh here we go, Lady Godiva.

Student: Naked woman!

Hey look everyone, Brad Kern based one of the student characters on himself!

ROFLMFAO!!! Either that or we now know who TheWB was promoting this series for (remember - first few episodes = WB promo...) - tween-aged horny boys!

Rose’s mugging is on top form this episode.

*sigh* She was so bored by this point..so .were we!

Dyson the demon, who for some reason is a ghost at first and for some reason is linked to Godiva’s time travel (don’t expect explanations for either), gets Duncan the conjurer to beat up Brad Kern by absorbing is repression.

With a name like Dyson, why couldn't he be a vacuum cleaner demon and just suck all of the Charmed Ones away?

Phoebe: So what? Then we hit two Neanderthals with one stone.

Now Leslie is a Neanderthal. Why, because he doesn’t pick the letters you want him to? They’re still your readers Phoebe. Maybe the readers who’s “fix it letters” aren’t deemed worthy of being in your wonderful, precious column will actually appreciate his advice.

By this point, the Charmed Ones have been fighting evil for so long that they have divided the people into the "we's" and the "they's" - as far as they're concerned, WE can do no wrong; THEY can do no right.... I hate people like that... No one is always totally wrong and no one is always totally right. The worst part is that since Chris murdered three Valkyries in order to let the Charmed Ones into Valhalla and Phoebe and Paige first stole Darryl's soul without permission and then set up Rick to be murdered, the "good guys" are more evil than the "bad guys". Hence the reason I was rooting for the "bad guys".

Phoebe: So they conjured a sex object?

Oh there’s that sensitivity, huh Phoebe?
A) She’s stood right in front of you, you rude cow! B) You can talk! Remember “Prince Charmed”? C) Shut up! I am so beyond sick of you this episode and we’re not even close to half way through!

I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you for being able to continue this disaster! I certainly couldn't do it.

Throw in a few standard “person from the past is scared of modern appliances” clichés.

Leo is busy torturing demons, because I guess he decided the answer to crossing the line and killing again was to carry on being as violent as possible. Good plan Leo, all the best with that!

To both - ROLL EYES!!!!

Piper: If I don't spend some time at P3, we will lose our only source of income.

Woah, woah, woah! Hang on. Are they saying Phoebe is on unpaid leave? Okay, because seriously, especially with the way she’s been hovering around the office and obsessing about the column, I would be kicking her arse back to that job so hard. Like hell she’d be living under my roof contributing nothing while whining non-stop at me about the job she took time off from!

I took it to mean that she was NEVER paid, and just doing it for the fun of it! AND another good reason for Paige not to become headmistress of the Magic School - I can imagine how much she gets paid for THAT!

Urgh, speaking of which, we have another Phoebe-Leslie scene. How many episodes does this last again (checks Charmed Wiki)... oh hell, six?!! Back in a second, I just need to leave for a quick scream/cry...

...Okay I’m back. Well I actually have very little to say about the scene, other than to point out the fact that these two have so little chemistry that it’s actually pretty awkward. I don’t care if Nick did have a crush on Alyssa for years; it sure isn’t coming through on screen.

How much do you wonder if he really did or if that was just spin put out by The WB???  Remember - early episodes = TheWB mandated...

There’s a riot at Notwarts. No, Phoebe didn’t get her empathy back and visit the place, this is the dastardly work of Dyson.

Would've been more fun your way...

Phoebe: Oh, probably wasn't breast fed as a child.

Yes, your little sister was attacked but let’s stick with your issues, Phoebe. Gosh, your problems are so real!

It really was All About PhoeME! And hate to say it, but I think this is as much of this episode that *I* can take, even with your comments! So I'll skip straight to this:

Okay, it’s over. I’m off to down a bottle of whisky. Nobody wake me for at least a week, by then the rage will have subsided.

Which makes me SO glad that *you're* the one watching this crap and not me!!! Thanks so much for doing it for us. Don't worry, you only have a few more TheWB-mandated episodes left...

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2015 6:58:03 GMT -5 Esmeralda said:

How much do you wonder if he really did or if that was just spin put out by The WB???  Remember - early episodes = TheWB mandated...

That probably was nothing but WB spin.  The main reason they brought in Nick Lachey and his acting "talents" was to cash in on the popularity of Newlyweds:

THE WB PLAYS THE NEWLYWED GAME

RECORDING ARTIST AND REALITY STAR NICK LACHEY JOINS THE CAST OF "CHARMED" FOR SIX EPISODES ON THE WB

Solo recording artist and star of MTV's "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica," Nick Lachey joins the cast of CHARMED for a six-episode arc, it was announced today by David Janollari, President, Entertainment, The WB. Lachey will play the role of a columnist hired to take over Phoebe's (Alyssa Milano) advice column while she is on leave. His presence evolves into a romantic entanglement with Phoebe, as the show - which has set ratings records in every time slot in which it has aired - begins production soon on its seventh season.

Known to millions as part of the multi-platinum band "98°," Lachey's appearance on CHARMED will mark his first major acting role. Other notable guest-star appearances have been on "I'm with Her" and "American Dreams."

This past year, Lachey, along with wife, pop sensation Jessica Simpson, headlined "The Nick Jessica Variety Hour." Currently, Lachey can be seen on MTV's reality series, "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica," which focuses on the daily lives of Nick and Jessica. Recently, Lachey released his first solo album titled "SoulO."

The series is produced by Spelling Television, Inc., a Paramount/Viacom company. Aaron Spelling and E. Duke Vincent ("7th Heaven," "Beverly Hills, 90210," "Melrose Place") serve as executive producers along with Brad Kern ("Hill Street Blues," "Lois Clark: The New Adventures of Superman," "New York Undercover"). CHARMED was created by Constance M. Burge ("Savannah")

[Esmeralda]

I'm surprised that they didn't bring force Jessica to be part of it too. But then he couldn't become Phoebe's latest slampiece...

[Deleted]

Funny to read all this "Nick and Jessica" stuff, since their marriage went kaput soon after.

And what did Nick Lachey add to Charmed.  Not much, just another slampiece for Phoebe to shag and forget five minutes after he leaves town.

[Deleted]

Act Your Mental Age!
Aka. Cheaper by the Coven

Paige is summoning Grams for Chris’ wiccaning, even though Piper doesn’t want a wiccaning. Once again Piper, thinking that you have final say when it comes to your own child? Don’t be so stupid!


Paige: That's what Grams is here for. To convince her. Look at Wyatt. He didn't have one until he was six months old and he almost turned evil.

Oh give me a break Paige, that had flap all to do with his wiccaning (besides I’m pretty sure 6 months is a standard age for stuff like that). The kid was traumatised by a mad man trying to kill him! Plus his mother and aunty are the bringers of doom and suffering.


Grams doesn’t know about baby Chris? Someone hasn’t been paying attention. Surely the “matriarch” of the family should know about a birth in the family.

Oh I forgot this was Charisma’s first episode. What a lousy place to start...then again, she’s not really a part of what makes this episode unbearable, so I guess she’s alright.



Piper is doing her normal life shtick yet again. Urgh.

Piper: What did I say? I don't want any magic. Look, I know my kids can't have a completely normal life, but I've gotta give it a shot.

If you were ACTUALLY giving it a shot Piper, I’d say fair enough... but you’re not, not even a little, you just want something to whinge about, so shut the hell up!


Wow, Piper is in full shrew mode today, she’s seriously horrid on every level. I’d quite like to see Grams and Piper fist fight, mainly in the hope that they may end up destroying each other.

I’m wondering if Holly had a sore throat filming this, or whether she just ended up hoarse from all of Piper’s wailing.


Hey it’s Victor. Hi Victor. He makes a valiant attempt to be civil with Grams, but she starts very much as she means to go on.

And Piper has yet another b!tch fit... Paige is never around to orb an apple into someone’s mouth when you need her! God I hate this episode.



Victor: You used spells on my daughters?
Grams: Oh, every now and then. Hey, you try raising three girls by yourself. Keeping them in line. How else was I gonna stop them from misbehaving?
Victor: Gee, I don't know. By talking to them?
Grams: Talking?
Why doesn’t it surprise me in the least that Grams if flabbergasted by the mere notion of communication?


*Sigh” Oh come on, isn’t one shrill Halliwell harpy enough for one episode? Urgh, fine... Phoebe goes to Leslie at the Bay Mirror (again) because the column won an award and she’s gonna give him hell for taking credit for her hard work. Oh but wait a minute, the column was written by Leslie? PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Take that you brat!
But once again she makes no apologies for her prejudgment, because the great Phoebe is above such things.


Les: Well, look, why don't we go to this thing together? It's today, it's not too late. You can go and accept the award yourself.
Phoebe: No, I think that you should go accept and maybe bring one of your phone pals with you.

Oooh burrrrrn! The guy dates! You really got him there Phoebe. At least he remembers their names.



Back to the other shrill sister.

Piper: Nothing. Although it's getting harder and harder to say no with the arrival of a new family member every five minutes.

Two, Piper. Two people showed up and one of them was summoned. I know that’s probably a record for someone as much fun as you, but still.




And the spell makes the sisters act like children. I say children; I’ve yet to meet kids this annoying. Maybe the spell just amplified the sisters’ own juvenile qualities.


Piper: Way to go, Grams.

Hideous as she is... kinda with her on that one.



Leo visits Charisma and her fortune telling pool of CGI horrors. Seriously, that CGI Leo head is horrendous. Good job Charisma tells us it’s meant to be him, because I’d have been none the wiser otherwise.




Grams: Do you remember the first time you were this age, when I sat you and your sisters down and we had the talk.
Piper: Grams, I already know all about sex, and no offence but I don't want to talk about with you because that's really gross.
Grams: No, not the sex talk, silly. The witch talk.

Of course she doesn’t remember the witch talk, because once again, she has no memory of being a witch before 1998!!!





Phoebe acts like a total moron, nothing new there... and Leslie is of course still totally into her despite that, nothing new there.



Paige makes out with a student.
Grams: She said no. Robbing the cradle, you should be ashamed of yourself. Come on, dear. Time to grow up.
Paige: I'll dream about you.
*Sigh* this is so stupid.


The demon that attacked Wyatt... I didn’t mention that did I? Whatever. The demon that attacked Wyatt turns out to be Leo. Or another Leo who obviously isn’t actual Leo. So Leo and Not-Leo have a lightning bolt fight and Grams sees it.

Grams freaks out at Leo despite seeing Not-Leo too, because she’s pretty much as boundlessly stupid as her granddaughters these days.

Grams: I saw this monster attack Wyatt at Magic School.
Leo: That wasn't me.
Grams: Well, he sure as hell looked like you.
Leo: I know it did. Look, I can explain. It must have been some kind of shapeshifter or something.
Grams: I don't know any shapeshifters who can get into Magic School or any who have Elders powers.

A) Bad guys have gotten into, and will continue to get into, Notwarts all the damn time! B) Elder’s powers? We’ve seen loads of demons and several other beings able to shoot lightning bolts, many of them long before Leo suddenly pulled it out of his arse.




Yay Patty
Pretty much the one and only thing I like about this episode, FINALLY! Some nice Patty-Victor moments.



Patty: Except because Wyatt is so powerful, he made his night terrors come to life whenever he felt conflict.

Reason 523 for why you should bind Wyatt’s powers before someone is killed (including himself).




Another pukey Phoebe and Leslie scene, but for the sake of my own sanity, I’m flying right past it and onto something I actually rather like...

...and that’s this very sweet scene between Patty and Victor in which Patty gets quite teary eyed thinking of all they missed.

Patty: Yeah. It's just leaving is always the hardest part.
Victor: Well, maybe I shouldn't have...
Patty: No, no, I'm glad you did. I wanted to be here for this, for them. It's just hard, you know. Price I pay for being dead, I guess. We missed a lot. Not being able to raise them together.
Victor: I know. But we made up for it a little bit today, didn't we?
Patty: Yeah.

Aww. Such a nice little nugget of gold in a massive pile of stinking donkey dung!




And finally we’re doing the Wiccaning, but not before Grams “apolagises” to Leo.

Grams: Because I owe you the apology. I'm sorry I thought you were evil. Not that you could blame me.

I wrote in my notes that we can see where Phoebe gets it from. But then to be fair to Grams, unlike her rotten granddaughter, she actually at least said the words “I’m sorry”... which is a damn sight more than we see from her!




Okay, what have we got coming up? Oh for the love of... it’s the freakin’ pirate episode. I forgot what an abysmal start this season had. I mean I knew it was bad... but damn!

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2015 12:30:01 GMT -5 @tim66 said:

Funny to read all this "Nick and Jessica" stuff, since their marriage went kaput soon after.

And what did Nick Lachey add to Charmed.  Not much, just another slampiece for Phoebe to shag and forget five minutes after he leaves town.

Yeah, they split in October 2005, just a year after Nick appeared on Charmed. Ironically, the tabloids were predicting that it would happen when Nick was cast on Charmed:

JESSICA HAS REASON TO WORRY AS NICK JOINS THE 'CHARMED' CAST

Jessica Simpson issure to be hotter than a witch's brew over her hunk of a husband Nick Lachey's new role on the TV series "Charmed".
The women who star on the show are cursed when it comes to lasting relationships and it will mean the end of their marriage, says a source.
The supernatural drama about three witches, all sisters, stars Alyssa Milano, Rose McGowan and Holly Marie Combs.

6 WEEKS OF HOTTIES
Nick's six-episode guest gig on the sitcom has his character hired as a ghostwriter to pen the column usually written by Milano's character Phoebe Halliwell, while the witch takes a vacation. But Nick's character ends up falling under Phoebe's love spell.
Nick recently admitted he had a crush on Milano and admitted he told her on the set of "Charmed" that he had a poster of her hanging in his locker.
Milano, whose own marriage lasted less than a year, said the feeling was mutual. "His eyes are like lavender. I can't even look at him when I'm working with him...he's hot."
No doubt Jessica found her comments less than charming.
"Jessica--who can be very superstitious--told Nick that she had heard a rumor that there was a 'curse' on the relationships of the 'Charmed' cast," said an insider. "She pointed out that former series star Shannen Doherty broke up with her husband Rick Salomon (of Paris Hilton sex tape fame). "Rose McGowan split with fiance Marilyn Manson the same year she got the role as Paige Matthews on the show.
"And former 'Charmed' co-star, 'Nip/Tuck' actor Julian McMahon, left his wife Brooke Burns and took up with Doherty!
"When she brought all this up to Nick, he just laughed and told her that was a bunch of nonsense. But Jess is not so sure about that. I bet she knows her husband is an incorrigible flirt who seems to have sex on the brain all the time.

FLIRT'S FANTASY
"Jessica tried to talk Nick out of doing the WB series but he wouldn't hear of it. He's seemingly been unhappy with the way his career has gone since he teamed up with wife Jessica on 'Newlyweds'. Nick sees this as his big break.
"He's going to love being on the 'Charmed' set, surrounded by all those cute young women."
Jessica is hopoing he isn't tempted.
A spokesman for Jessica told The ENQUIRER, "That's ridiculous. And not at all true."

Of course, Nick was ultimately nothing more than a throwaway Promotable Hunk for Freebie to have "fun" with for a few episodes. And, now you wonder why so many fans were angry to see Chris gone from the cast.

Jul 20, 2015 13:57:18 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Act Your Mental Age!
Aka. Cheaper by the Coven

Paige is summoning Grams for Chris’ wiccaning, even though Piper doesn’t want a wiccaning. Once again Piper, thinking that you have final say when it comes to your own child? Don’t be so stupid!


Paige: That's what Grams is here for. To convince her. Look at Wyatt. He didn't have one until he was six months old and he almost turned evil.

Oh give me a break Paige, that had flap all to do with his wiccaning (besides I’m pretty sure 6 months is a standard age for stuff like that). The kid was traumatised by a mad man trying to kill him! Plus his mother and aunty are the bringers of doom and suffering.


Grams doesn’t know about baby Chris? Someone hasn’t been paying attention. Surely the “matriarch” of the family should know about a birth in the family.

Oh I forgot this was Charisma’s first episode. What a lousy place to start...then again, she’s not really a part of what makes this episode unbearable, so I guess she’s alright.



Piper is doing her normal life shtick yet again. Urgh.

Piper: What did I say? I don't want any magic. Look, I know my kids can't have a completely normal life, but I've gotta give it a shot.

If you were ACTUALLY giving it a shot Piper, I’d say fair enough... but you’re not, not even a little, you just want something to whinge about, so shut the hell up!


Wow, Piper is in full shrew mode today, she’s seriously horrid on every level. I’d quite like to see Grams and Piper fist fight, mainly in the hope that they may end up destroying each other.

I’m wondering if Holly had a sore throat filming this, or whether she just ended up hoarse from all of Piper’s wailing.


Hey it’s Victor. Hi Victor. He makes a valiant attempt to be civil with Grams, but she starts very much as she means to go on.

And Piper has yet another b!tch fit... Paige is never around to orb an apple into someone’s mouth when you need her! God I hate this episode.



Victor: You used spells on my daughters?
Grams: Oh, every now and then. Hey, you try raising three girls by yourself. Keeping them in line. How else was I gonna stop them from misbehaving?
Victor: Gee, I don't know. By talking to them?
Grams: Talking?
Why doesn’t it surprise me in the least that Grams if flabbergasted by the mere notion of communication?


*Sigh” Oh come on, isn’t one shrill Halliwell harpy enough for one episode? Urgh, fine... Phoebe goes to Leslie at the Bay Mirror (again) because the column won an award and she’s gonna give him hell for taking credit for her hard work. Oh but wait a minute, the column was written by Leslie? PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Take that you brat!
But once again she makes no apologies for her prejudgment, because the great Phoebe is above such things.


Les: Well, look, why don't we go to this thing together? It's today, it's not too late. You can go and accept the award yourself.
Phoebe: No, I think that you should go accept and maybe bring one of your phone pals with you.

Oooh burrrrrn! The guy dates! You really got him there Phoebe. At least he remembers their names.



Back to the other shrill sister.

Piper: Nothing. Although it's getting harder and harder to say no with the arrival of a new family member every five minutes.

Two, Piper. Two people showed up and one of them was summoned. I know that’s probably a record for someone as much fun as you, but still.




And the spell makes the sisters act like children. I say children; I’ve yet to meet kids this annoying. Maybe the spell just amplified the sisters’ own juvenile qualities.


Piper: Way to go, Grams.

Hideous as she is... kinda with her on that one.



Leo visits Charisma and her fortune telling pool of CGI horrors. Seriously, that CGI Leo head is horrendous. Good job Charisma tells us it’s meant to be him, because I’d have been none the wiser otherwise.




Grams: Do you remember the first time you were this age, when I sat you and your sisters down and we had the talk.
Piper: Grams, I already know all about sex, and no offence but I don't want to talk about with you because that's really gross.
Grams: No, not the sex talk, silly. The witch talk.

Of course she doesn’t remember the witch talk, because once again, she has no memory of being a witch before 1998!!!





Phoebe acts like a total moron, nothing new there... and Leslie is of course still totally into her despite that, nothing new there.



Paige makes out with a student.
Grams: She said no. Robbing the cradle, you should be ashamed of yourself. Come on, dear. Time to grow up.
Paige: I'll dream about you.
*Sigh* this is so stupid.


The demon that attacked Wyatt... I didn’t mention that did I? Whatever. The demon that attacked Wyatt turns out to be Leo. Or another Leo who obviously isn’t actual Leo. So Leo and Not-Leo have a lightning bolt fight and Grams sees it.

Grams freaks out at Leo despite seeing Not-Leo too, because she’s pretty much as boundlessly stupid as her granddaughters these days.

Grams: I saw this monster attack Wyatt at Magic School.
Leo: That wasn't me.
Grams: Well, he sure as hell looked like you.
Leo: I know it did. Look, I can explain. It must have been some kind of shapeshifter or something.
Grams: I don't know any shapeshifters who can get into Magic School or any who have Elders powers.

A) Bad guys have gotten into, and will continue to get into, Notwarts all the damn time! B) Elder’s powers? We’ve seen loads of demons and several other beings able to shoot lightning bolts, many of them long before Leo suddenly pulled it out of his arse.




Yay Patty
Pretty much the one and only thing I like about this episode, FINALLY! Some nice Patty-Victor moments.



Patty: Except because Wyatt is so powerful, he made his night terrors come to life whenever he felt conflict.

Reason 523 for why you should bind Wyatt’s powers before someone is killed (including himself).




Another pukey Phoebe and Leslie scene, but for the sake of my own sanity, I’m flying right past it and onto something I actually rather like...

...and that’s this very sweet scene between Patty and Victor in which Patty gets quite teary eyed thinking of all they missed.

Patty: Yeah. It's just leaving is always the hardest part.
Victor: Well, maybe I shouldn't have...
Patty: No, no, I'm glad you did. I wanted to be here for this, for them. It's just hard, you know. Price I pay for being dead, I guess. We missed a lot. Not being able to raise them together.
Victor: I know. But we made up for it a little bit today, didn't we?
Patty: Yeah.

Aww. Such a nice little nugget of gold in a massive pile of stinking donkey dung!




And finally we’re doing the Wiccaning, but not before Grams “apolagises” to Leo.

Grams: Because I owe you the apology. I'm sorry I thought you were evil. Not that you could blame me.

I wrote in my notes that we can see where Phoebe gets it from. But then to be fair to Grams, unlike her rotten granddaughter, she actually at least said the words “I’m sorry”... which is a damn sight more than we see from her!




Okay, what have we got coming up? Oh for the love of... it’s the freakin’ pirate episode. I forgot what an abysmal start this season had. I mean I knew it was bad... but damn!

Another great review, P3Nathan! Yeah, the first half of Season 7 is really bad and WILL be a slog to get through. However, the season picks up a lot once you get to Drake's episodes, so there IS a light at the end of the tunnel... At least, until Season 8.

[Chrisaholic]

What always got on my nerves: When I hope an episode is finally about Chris, still the main focus is on Wyatt. At the end of S7 (Death becomes Them), the focus goes to Phoebe but that's something for later. Anyway, I know Chris is a little baby now but remember, big Chris had contacts in the underworld!! Anyone must be out for revenge once in a lifetime! *grgr*

[Deleted]

Paige is summoning Grams for Chris’ wiccaning, even though Piper doesn’t want a wiccaning. Once again Piper, thinking that you have final say when it comes to your own child? Don’t be so stupid!

Piper is just being Piper, of course.

Grams doesn’t know about baby Chris? Someone hasn’t been paying attention. Surely the “matriarch” of the family should know about a birth in the family.

She's not the only one.  It seems everyone forgot about poor Chris. 

Piper is doing her normal life shtick yet again. Urgh.

Piper: What did I say? I don't want any magic. Look, I know my kids can't have a completely normal life, but I've gotta give it a shot.

If you were ACTUALLY giving it a shot Piper, I’d say fair enough... but you’re not, not even a little, you just want something to whinge about, so shut the hell up!

Wow, Piper is in full shrew mode today, she’s seriously horrid on every level. I’d quite like to see Grams and Piper fist fight, mainly in the hope that they may end up destroying each other.

Change the record, Piper, okay.  Geez...

*Sigh” Oh come on, isn’t one shrill Halliwell harpy enough for one episode? Urgh, fine... Phoebe goes to Leslie at the Bay Mirror (again) because the column won an award and she’s gonna give him hell for taking credit for her hard work. Oh but wait a minute, the column was written by Leslie? PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Take that you brat!
But once again she makes no apologies for her prejudgment, because the great Phoebe is above such things.

Take that, PhoebME!

And the spell makes the sisters act like children. I say children; I’ve yet to meet kids this annoying. Maybe the spell just amplified the sisters’ own juvenile qualities.

Works for me.

Of course she doesn’t remember the witch talk, because once again, she has no memory of being a witch before 1998!!!

Just like the writers have no memory of Season One.

Grams freaks out at Leo despite seeing Not-Leo too, because she’s pretty much as boundlessly stupid as her granddaughters these days.

Must be catching.

Oh for the love of... it’s the freakin’ pirate episode.

Oh boy, I can't wait!