P3Nathan's Season 7 Rewatch

[Esmeralda]

Jul 20, 2015 13:57:18 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Act Your Mental Age!
Aka. Cheaper by the Coven

Paige is summoning Grams for Chris’ wiccaning, even though Piper doesn’t want a wiccaning. Once again Piper, thinking that you have final say when it comes to your own child? Don’t be so stupid!


Paige: That's what Grams is here for. To convince her. Look at Wyatt. He didn't have one until he was six months old and he almost turned evil.

Oh give me a break Paige, that had flap all to do with his wiccaning (besides I’m pretty sure 6 months is a standard age for stuff like that). The kid was traumatised by a mad man trying to kill him! Plus his mother and aunty are the bringers of doom and suffering.


Grams doesn’t know about baby Chris? Someone hasn’t been paying attention. Surely the “matriarch” of the family should know about a birth in the family.

Oh I forgot this was Charisma’s first episode. What a lousy place to start...then again, she’s not really a part of what makes this episode unbearable, so I guess she’s alright.



Piper is doing her normal life shtick yet again. Urgh.

Piper: What did I say? I don't want any magic. Look, I know my kids can't have a completely normal life, but I've gotta give it a shot.

If you were ACTUALLY giving it a shot Piper, I’d say fair enough... but you’re not, not even a little, you just want something to whinge about, so shut the hell up!


Wow, Piper is in full shrew mode today, she’s seriously horrid on every level. I’d quite like to see Grams and Piper fist fight, mainly in the hope that they may end up destroying each other.

I’m wondering if Holly had a sore throat filming this, or whether she just ended up hoarse from all of Piper’s wailing.


Hey it’s Victor. Hi Victor. He makes a valiant attempt to be civil with Grams, but she starts very much as she means to go on.

And Piper has yet another b!tch fit... Paige is never around to orb an apple into someone’s mouth when you need her! God I hate this episode.



Victor: You used spells on my daughters?
Grams: Oh, every now and then. Hey, you try raising three girls by yourself. Keeping them in line. How else was I gonna stop them from misbehaving?
Victor: Gee, I don't know. By talking to them?
Grams: Talking?
Why doesn’t it surprise me in the least that Grams if flabbergasted by the mere notion of communication?


*Sigh” Oh come on, isn’t one shrill Halliwell harpy enough for one episode? Urgh, fine... Phoebe goes to Leslie at the Bay Mirror (again) because the column won an award and she’s gonna give him hell for taking credit for her hard work. Oh but wait a minute, the column was written by Leslie? PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Take that you brat!
But once again she makes no apologies for her prejudgment, because the great Phoebe is above such things.


Les: Well, look, why don't we go to this thing together? It's today, it's not too late. You can go and accept the award yourself.
Phoebe: No, I think that you should go accept and maybe bring one of your phone pals with you.

Oooh burrrrrn! The guy dates! You really got him there Phoebe. At least he remembers their names.



Back to the other shrill sister.

Piper: Nothing. Although it's getting harder and harder to say no with the arrival of a new family member every five minutes.

Two, Piper. Two people showed up and one of them was summoned. I know that’s probably a record for someone as much fun as you, but still.




And the spell makes the sisters act like children. I say children; I’ve yet to meet kids this annoying. Maybe the spell just amplified the sisters’ own juvenile qualities.


Piper: Way to go, Grams.

Hideous as she is... kinda with her on that one.



Leo visits Charisma and her fortune telling pool of CGI horrors. Seriously, that CGI Leo head is horrendous. Good job Charisma tells us it’s meant to be him, because I’d have been none the wiser otherwise.




Grams: Do you remember the first time you were this age, when I sat you and your sisters down and we had the talk.
Piper: Grams, I already know all about sex, and no offence but I don't want to talk about with you because that's really gross.
Grams: No, not the sex talk, silly. The witch talk.

Of course she doesn’t remember the witch talk, because once again, she has no memory of being a witch before 1998!!!





Phoebe acts like a total moron, nothing new there... and Leslie is of course still totally into her despite that, nothing new there.



Paige makes out with a student.
Grams: She said no. Robbing the cradle, you should be ashamed of yourself. Come on, dear. Time to grow up.
Paige: I'll dream about you.
*Sigh* this is so stupid.


The demon that attacked Wyatt... I didn’t mention that did I? Whatever. The demon that attacked Wyatt turns out to be Leo. Or another Leo who obviously isn’t actual Leo. So Leo and Not-Leo have a lightning bolt fight and Grams sees it.

Grams freaks out at Leo despite seeing Not-Leo too, because she’s pretty much as boundlessly stupid as her granddaughters these days.

Grams: I saw this monster attack Wyatt at Magic School.
Leo: That wasn't me.
Grams: Well, he sure as hell looked like you.
Leo: I know it did. Look, I can explain. It must have been some kind of shapeshifter or something.
Grams: I don't know any shapeshifters who can get into Magic School or any who have Elders powers.

A) Bad guys have gotten into, and will continue to get into, Notwarts all the damn time! B) Elder’s powers? We’ve seen loads of demons and several other beings able to shoot lightning bolts, many of them long before Leo suddenly pulled it out of his arse.




Yay Patty
Pretty much the one and only thing I like about this episode, FINALLY! Some nice Patty-Victor moments.



Patty: Except because Wyatt is so powerful, he made his night terrors come to life whenever he felt conflict.

Reason 523 for why you should bind Wyatt’s powers before someone is killed (including himself).




Another pukey Phoebe and Leslie scene, but for the sake of my own sanity, I’m flying right past it and onto something I actually rather like...

...and that’s this very sweet scene between Patty and Victor in which Patty gets quite teary eyed thinking of all they missed.

Patty: Yeah. It's just leaving is always the hardest part.
Victor: Well, maybe I shouldn't have...
Patty: No, no, I'm glad you did. I wanted to be here for this, for them. It's just hard, you know. Price I pay for being dead, I guess. We missed a lot. Not being able to raise them together.
Victor: I know. But we made up for it a little bit today, didn't we?
Patty: Yeah.

Aww. Such a nice little nugget of gold in a massive pile of stinking donkey dung!




And finally we’re doing the Wiccaning, but not before Grams “apolagises” to Leo.

Grams: Because I owe you the apology. I'm sorry I thought you were evil. Not that you could blame me.

I wrote in my notes that we can see where Phoebe gets it from. But then to be fair to Grams, unlike her rotten granddaughter, she actually at least said the words “I’m sorry”... which is a damn sight more than we see from her!




Okay, what have we got coming up? Oh for the love of... it’s the freakin’ pirate episode. I forgot what an abysmal start this season had. I mean I knew it was bad... but damn!

Episodes including both Grams and Patty are usually among my favorites - this and "Forever Charmed" are the exceptions to the rule, although in both cases, without Patty (originally my favorite character on the show, much more than the sisters) they would've been intolerable.

As for Phoebe, one of my friends' nickname for her is "Little Miss Itsnevermyfault". The only time she ever admitted to screwing up was just before she was burnt...

I got a kick out of you calling the Seer "Charisma". Everyone knew who you meant, but you didn't have to decide if you should use Kyra (always been my preferred, but I know neither are canon, although Kyra has become fanon since it's used in the comics) or Kira!

Oh, guy, if you only knew how bad I felt for you, having to tolerate Chaaaaarmed next! Can't wait to see your version of the title!

[Astral Vision]

I'm currently watching Cheaper by the Coven on television (E4 + 1 for any UK people here), so I'll wait until later to read the review.

I caught ten minutes of The Bare Witch Project this morning - the moment from when they send Lady Godiva back up until when Paige is attempting to get the conjuring spell off that Magic School kid.

Within those scenes, Rose's mugging was really distracting. She didn't even seem to be trying to act while confronting the Magic School kid. Also, this scene stood out to me:

Paige: Okay, guys, uh, I think we're attracting a little too much attention out here. What say we orb back to the Book of Shadows.

Phoebe: No, I don't want to go back home.

Piper: Why?

Phoebe: Did you hear what Leslie said?

Phoebe doesn't want to go back to the manor, because of Leslie said they had kids there. When did Phoebe suddenly stop her baby hunt. I thought that was usually her number one priority (er, I mean number two, after herself). It would be one thing if her reason for not wanting to go home was because of not wanting to see what her potential little girl would have to deal with in this horrible timeline, but that's not her reasoning for not wanting to go home. I mean, it's nice that she's not all "I want babies", but it seems a little out of character for her after season six.

[Deleted]

Yo Ho Ho and I’ll Down the Rum!
a.k.a: Charrrmed!    (Can’t believe that’s a genuine title)


Piper: All set. The kids are asleep.
Leo: What about Phoebe and Paige?
Piper: You want me to put them to bed too?

No, but I’d like you to put Phoebe to sleep. Oh okay, that was a bit harsh. Compared to the last few episodes, she’s not all that bad this episode... that is only by comparison though.





So Leo is nervous as he’s preparing to talk to an Elder. Piper once again attempts to shrug off everything Leo has done

Piper: Look, you're not gonna be able to move on if you don't let go of the past.

Piper: But you have nothing to feel guilty about. What happened was out of your control. All that matters is what happens next.

She’s like the little devil on his shoulder. Piper, he killed Giddy and then went on to murder a completely innocent man. Granted, Barbas gave him a nudge, but it wasn't mind control, he was already at the edge! Non-psychopathic people with hearts that aren’t tiny, rotten, prune lookin’ things like your's, would feel a hell of a lot of guilt there! It’s normal and you going “meh, tomorrow’s a new day” aint gonna cut it!





Piper’s next pearl of wisdom comes when Leo tells her about the floaty head of Oz and the voices. Piper’s answer is to just ignore. Yeah, great Piper, that’ll go well.

Piper: Well, that's probably just self doubt. Ignore it.

Oh sure Piper, everyone suffers from vivid delusions whenever they doubt themselves! Are you freaking serious? So stupid!





Anyway, Elder Beardus turns up (we’re calling him Beardus due to his fluffy beard and hell if I know his actual name, if they even gave him one). He gives Leo a task and we see The Great and Powerful Oz once again.


I remember when this first aired over here, I had no idea what the episode was about and when we see the witch walking down the alley with the spooky fog and the creepy whistling, I thought it could be promising. Good, eerie suspense building. But then, well you know what happens... stupid pirate guy shows up with his stupid cockney accent and my briefly raised expectations plummet through the floor.


Leo has been scrying again; because anyone can do it remember!? Witches can do it, Elders can do it, I can do it, you can do it, my mail man can do it, my cat can do it. But to be fair to him, he’s at least putting in the effort, while Piper seems to be staying in “screw those innocent lives” mode today.



Piper: Or maybe there's nothing to overlook. I mean, let's face it, like the Elder said, this could be nothing.
Leo: They're still missing, aren't they?
Piper: Still. Maybe you're trying too hard.

Yeah, go put your feet up Piper; you’ve clearly done your best already!




Paige orbs in... the first time I saw this, I actually thought for a moment that she yelled:

Paige: Do I look like a man to you?

Which frankly would have been far more amusing. But no, a student called Paige ma’am, which made her feel old. So apparently it’s Paige’s turn to have the annoying non-issue of the week.



Sheridan got a blood sample and she’s staking them out with Darryl outside. Piper and Phoebe orchestrate a distraction so that Paige can leave to look for Brenda. Which is really stupid, because PAIGE CAN ORB WHEREVER THE HELL SHE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!!



We’re introduced to Captain Jack Black Cutting. Urgh, this is awful. And really, Jack Black? Pahaha. For that reason, I’ll be calling him Tenacious P.

Tenacious P: Don't you just love clichés?

No, no I don’t. This whole thing is moronic.




*Sigh* and it just gets worse, because we’re back to Phoebe and Leslie.
This scene just reeks of “We have nothing for Nick to do today, but he’s on contract, so here he is”

Anyway, Leslie uses this “Win a Date With Phoebe Contest” (which I sure hope comes with a complementary hanging noose for the “winner”) to get Phoebe to go out with him. What a desperate loser. And he’s already printed it... sad, sad, sad.


Paige goes to Brenda’s house and gets the stupid pirate coin from her girlfriend.


Paige finds Brenda and could easily orb her out, but we all know by now that using her orbing power when it’s needed most just isn’t our Paige’s style!

Even the stupid pirates know about the Avatars. Not that I believe they were set on them being the Avatars at this point... or if they were, I’m not convinced they knew what the Avatars would actually be about yet.


Tenacious P: Dead? He wishes.

Because they’re cursed you see. If Disney sues, they’ll claim fair use I guess.





Leo: If you go back in again, you could be walking the plank.

No Leo, she couldn’t... because it seems these cheap losers don’t even have a damn ship!





Phoebe goes back to the paper to gather pirate knowledge, because once again she’s never heard of the internet. Oh but hey, it worked out well, because Leslie is a pirate expert! What a crap shoot of convenience he is!


Agent Kyle Brody, forgot this was his first episode. You can put Kerr in as many suits as you want, he still looks about 12.


He reveals that Sheridan found demon blood, Barbas’ I presume. I guess the Cleaners are on sabbatical again.




Agent Brody: You got any Golden Chalices lying around?

So somehow Brody not only knows about the pirates; he also knows what they want before they’ve even told the sisters. Don’t expect an explanation for that one guys.





So Brenda has aged due to the cursed athame and by the time they get back to Paige, she has too.

Paige: Well, now I'm a ma'am.

Yes, I am rolling my eyes.





Piper: Here. Couch. Couch. Leo? Get up here.
Paige: Are you two back together? Urgh, I forget.

Heh, alright, I’ll give her that one.





They brush off Brenda’s death, because meh, what’s another dead innocent? She probably wasn’t “meant” to survive, right guys? No point dwelling huh?




Leo: Captain Black Jack Cutting cordially invites you to Treasure Island.

Treasure Island? Are they freakin’ serious? Please tell me this is nearly over.





Piper and Phoebe go to steal the chalice from the museum. Phoebe forgot her date with Les, so ignores his calls and stands him up. I’m sure he’ll be fine, it’s cool when she does it, right?


Phoebe does her stupid Mission Impossible bit and they get the chalice, but not without setting off the alarm system.




Sheridan: What do you mean? I'm gonna bust them.
Agent Brody: Not with that thing you're not. Besides, I don't want to catch them stealing. I want to catch them using magic.

She just blew up a glass case and froze the shards in mid-air...what the hell do you call that?





Tenacious P drinks from the fountain and turns young. Phoebe convinced the other pirates to kill him and they all turn to dust. Wham, bam, the end... whatever.


Sheridan catches Piper blowing up the fountain but Kerr tranquilizes her. To be continued, or something...


Elder Beardus talks to Piper, mainly just to mention the rising threat/coming storm for the gazillionth time, just in case you missed it before.


Phoebe goes to see Leslie after standing him up and no, she doesn’t say sorry. She doesn’t apologize at all, of course not. She just makes a bunch of excuses before turning it round on him. Then they make out... ya know because there's soooooo much chemistry between them? PUKE!
Fortunately, we fade to credits before the desk top coitus begins.

[Astral Vision]

Okay, I'm going to quote this one as I read it, since when I watched CBTC earlier, it was directly followed by Charrrrmed so it's still fresh in my mind.

Jul 21, 2015 10:45:58 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Yo Ho Ho and I’ll Down the Rum!
a.k.a: Charrrmed!    (Can’t believe that’s a genuine title)


Piper: All set. The kids are asleep.
Leo: What about Phoebe and Paige?
Piper: You want me to put them to bed too?

No, put I’d like you to put Phoebe to sleep. Oh okay, that was a bit harsh. Compared to the last few episodes, she’s not all that bad this episode... that is only by comparison though.

I actually found these lines quite funny. Especially when Piper says that Paige is actually at school and Phoebe is at the movies. It still makes them sound like they're kids. Oh and also, Piper says Phoebe's at the movies with a friend. Another out of the blue Halliwell friend?

I remember when this first aired over here, I had no idea what the episode was about and when we see the witch walking down the alley with the spooky fog and the creepy whistling, I thought it could be promising.

I never saw it when it first aired, but when I was watching this scene earlier, I was actually considering how good the scene looked - too bad about the plot.

Piper and Phoebe orchestrate a distraction so that Paige can leave to look for Brenda. Which is really stupid, because PAIGE CAN ORB WHEREVER THE HELL SHE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly. When Piper phones Paige to let her know the coast is clear, all I was thinking was, so is Paige driving to this place? Though to be fair, speaking to Darryl did give them the address of the latest victim, which they didn't already know, and if it wasn't for Phoebe's distraction, Sheridan and Darryl may have headed there after the stakeout was over and bumped into Paige.

Piper: Here. Couch. Couch. Leo? Get up here.
Paige: Are you two back together? Urgh, I forget.

Heh, alright, I’ll give her that one.

xD Agreed.

Sheridan: What do you mean? I'm gonna bust them.
Agent Brody: Not with that thing you're not. Besides, I don't want to catch them stealing. I want to catch them using magic.

She just blew up a glass case and froze the shards in mid-air...what the hell do you call that?

I know, right? All they had to do was sneakily watch from the top of those steps, while Piper and Phoebe made their way through the beams.

[Deleted]

Piper’s next pearl of wisdom comes when Leo tells her about the floaty head of Oz and the voices. Piper’s answer is to just ignore. Yeah, great Piper, that’ll go well.

Piper: Well, that's probably just self doubt. Ignore it.

Oh sure Piper, everyone suffers from vivid delusions whenever they doubt themselves! Are you freaking serious? So stupid!

Remind me never to discuss personal issues with Piper.

I remember when this first aired over here, I had no idea what the episode was about and when we see the witch walking down the alley with the spooky fog and the creepy whistling, I thought it could be promising. Good, eerie suspense building. But then, well you know what happens... stupid pirate guy shows up with his stupid cockney accent and my briefly raised expectations plummet through the floor.

Kern once again snatches defeat from the jaws of victory.

Piper and Phoebe orchestrate a distraction so that Paige can leave to look for Brenda. Which is really stupid, because PAIGE CAN ORB WHEREVER THE HELL SHE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Paige still hasn't recovered the intelligence she lost sometime between Seasons Four and Five.

We’re introduced to Captain Jack Black Cutting. Urgh, this is awful. And really, Jack Black? Pahaha. For that reason, I’ll be calling him Tenacious P.

Tenacious P: Don't you just love clichés?

No, no I don’t. This whole thing is moronic.

Guess they had to keep those Disney lawyers at bay.  If anyone thinks this rubbish wasn't inspired by Pirates Of The Caribbean, then I have this bridge in Brooklyn for sale..

*Sigh* and it just gets worse, because we’re back to Phoebe and Leslie.
This scene just reeks of “We have nothing for Nick to do today, but he’s on contract, so here he is”

Hey, Kern, how exactly was having Mr. Jessica Simpson on supposed to "shake up the status quo" again?

Phoebe goes back to the paper to gather pirate knowledge, because once again she’s never heard of the internet. Oh but hey, it worked out well, because Leslie is a pirate expert! What a crap shoot of convenience he is!

**GROAN**

I guess the Cleaners are on sabbatical again.

You can never find good help these days.

They brush off Brenda’s death, because meh, what’s another dead innocent? She probably wasn’t “meant” to survive, right guys? No point dwelling huh?

The ONE lesbian character they have on this show, and she's an Ensign Deadmeat character.  Get the f*ck out of the 1950's, Kern

Treasure Island? Are they freakin’ serious? Please tell me this is nearly over.

Disney lawyers on Line One...

Phoebe goes to see Leslie after standing him up and no, she doesn’t say sorry. She doesn’t apologize at all, of course not. She just makes a bunch of excuses before turning it round on him. Then they make out... ya know because there's soooooo much chemistry between them? PUKE!
Fortunately, we fade to credits before the desk top coitus begins.

Gag!  Make them stop!


Another great review.

[Esmeralda]

Jul 21, 2015 10:45:58 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Yo Ho Ho and I’ll Down the Rum!
a.k.a: Charrrmed!    (Can’t believe that’s a genuine title)


Piper: All set. The kids are asleep.
Leo: What about Phoebe and Paige?
Piper: You want me to put them to bed too?

No, put I’d like you to put Phoebe to sleep. Oh okay, that was a bit harsh. Compared to the last few episodes, she’s not all that bad this episode... that is only by comparison though.





So Leo is nervous as he’s preparing to talk to an Elder. Piper once again attempts to shrug off everything Leo has done

Piper: Look, you're not gonna be able to move on if you don't let go of the past.

Piper: But you have nothing to feel guilty about. What happened was out of your control. All that matters is what happens next.

She’s like the little devil on his shoulder. Piper, he killed Giddy and then went on to murder a completely innocent man. Granted, Barbas gave him a nudge, but it wasn't mind control, he was already at the edge! Non-psychopathic people with hearts that aren’t tiny, rotten, prune lookin’ things like your's, would feel a hell of a lot of guilt there! It’s normal and you going “meh, tomorrow’s a new day” aint gonna cut it!





Piper’s next pearl of wisdom comes when Leo tells her about the floaty head of Oz and the voices. Piper’s answer is to just ignore. Yeah, great Piper, that’ll go well.

Piper: Well, that's probably just self doubt. Ignore it.

Oh sure Piper, everyone suffers from vivid delusions whenever they doubt themselves! Are you freaking serious? So stupid!





Anyway, Elder Beardus turns up (we’re calling him Beardus due to his fluffy beard and hell if I know his actual name, if they even gave him one). He gives Leo a task and we see The Great and Powerful Oz once again.


I remember when this first aired over here, I had no idea what the episode was about and when we see the witch walking down the alley with the spooky fog and the creepy whistling, I thought it could be promising. Good, eerie suspense building. But then, well you know what happens... stupid pirate guy shows up with his stupid cockney accent and my briefly raised expectations plummet through the floor.


Leo has been scrying again; because anyone can do it remember!? Witches can do it, Elders can do it, I can do it, you can do it, my mail man can do it, my cat can do it. But to be fair to him, he’s at least putting in the effort, while Piper seems to be staying in “screw those innocent lives” mode today.



Piper: Or maybe there's nothing to overlook. I mean, let's face it, like the Elder said, this could be nothing.
Leo: They're still missing, aren't they?
Piper: Still. Maybe you're trying too hard.

Yeah, go put your feet up Piper; you’ve clearly done your best already!




Paige orbs in... the first time I saw this, I actually thought for a moment that she yelled:

Paige: Do I look like a man to you?

Which frankly would have been far more amusing. But no, a student called Paige ma’am, which made her feel old. So apparently it’s Paige’s turn to have the annoying non-issue of the week.



Sheridan got a blood sample and she’s staking them out with Darryl outside. Piper and Phoebe orchestrate a distraction so that Paige can leave to look for Brenda. Which is really stupid, because PAIGE CAN ORB WHEREVER THE HELL SHE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!!



We’re introduced to Captain Jack Black Cutting. Urgh, this is awful. And really, Jack Black? Pahaha. For that reason, I’ll be calling him Tenacious P.

Tenacious P: Don't you just love clichés?

No, no I don’t. This whole thing is moronic.




*Sigh* and it just gets worse, because we’re back to Phoebe and Leslie.
This scene just reeks of “We have nothing for Nick to do today, but he’s on contract, so here he is”

Anyway, Leslie uses this “Win a Date With Phoebe Contest” (which I sure hope comes with a complementary hanging noose for the “winner”) to get Phoebe to go out with him. What a desperate loser. And he’s already printed it... sad, sad, sad.


Paige goes to Brenda’s house and gets the stupid pirate coin from her girlfriend.


Paige finds Brenda and could easily orb her out, but we all know by now that using her orbing power when it’s needed most just isn’t our Paige’s style!

Even the stupid pirates know about the Avatars. Not that I believe they were set on them being the Avatars at this point... or if they were, I’m not convinced they knew what the Avatars would actually be about yet.


Tenacious P: Dead? He wishes.

Because they’re cursed you see. If Disney sues, they’ll claim fair use I guess.





Leo: If you go back in again, you could be walking the plank.

No Leo, she couldn’t... because it seems these cheap losers don’t even have a damn ship!





Phoebe goes back to the paper to gather pirate knowledge, because once again she’s never heard of the internet. Oh but hey, it worked out well, because Leslie is a pirate expert! What a crap shoot of convenience he is!


Agent Kyle Brody, forgot this was his first episode. You can put Kerr in as many suits as you want, he still looks about 12.


He reveals that Sheridan found demon blood, Barbas’ I presume. I guess the Cleaners are on sabbatical again.




Agent Brody: You got any Golden Chalices lying around?

So somehow Brody not only knows about the pirates; he also knows what they want before they’ve even told the sisters. Don’t expect an explanation for that one guys.





So Brenda has aged due to the cursed athame and by the time they get back to Paige, she has too.

Paige: Well, now I'm a ma'am.

Yes, I am rolling my eyes.





Piper: Here. Couch. Couch. Leo? Get up here.
Paige: Are you two back together? Urgh, I forget.

Heh, alright, I’ll give her that one.





They brush off Brenda’s death, because meh, what’s another dead innocent? She probably wasn’t “meant” to survive, right guys? No point dwelling huh?




Leo: Captain Black Jack Cutting cordially invites you to Treasure Island.

Treasure Island? Are they freakin’ serious? Please tell me this is nearly over.





Piper and Phoebe go to steal the chalice from the museum. Phoebe forgot her date with Les, so ignores his calls and stands him up. I’m sure he’ll be fine, it’s cool when she does it, right?


Phoebe does her stupid Mission Impossible bit and they get the chalice, but not without setting off the alarm system.




Sheridan: What do you mean? I'm gonna bust them.
Agent Brody: Not with that thing you're not. Besides, I don't want to catch them stealing. I want to catch them using magic.

She just blew up a glass case and froze the shards in mid-air...what the hell do you call that?





Tenacious P drinks from the fountain and turns young. Phoebe convinced the other pirates to kill him and they all turn to dust. Wham, bam, the end... whatever.


Sheridan catches Piper blowing up the fountain but Kerr tranquilizes her. To be continued, or something...


Elder Beardus talks to Piper, mainly just to mention the rising threat/coming storm for the gazillionth time, just in case you missed it before.


Phoebe goes to see Leslie after standing him up and no, she doesn’t say sorry. She doesn’t apologize at all, of course not. She just makes a bunch of excuses before turning it round on him. Then they make out... ya know because there's soooooo much chemistry between them? PUKE!
Fortunately, we fade to credits before the desk top coitus begins.

OMG, when will I EVER learn to read your reviews at home rather than at work??? OH, I got the looks, coz first I was snickering at your title (I'll gladly join you for that rum, although we both might need our own bottle!), then I was giggling, then I was laughing and then I couldn't help it; I was absolutely HOWLING!!! Honestly, I think this is your best one yet!

Don't have enough time to point out all of my favorite lines of yours, just know I TOTALLY enjoyed it!

Not as much as our positivity thread, of course *breaking arm while patting self on back for creating that thread*, but awful darn close!

[Chrisaholic]

It seems that BK had used all good that was hip at that particular time, hence Magic School = Hogwarts and Charrrrmed = Pirates of the Carribean! Plus, the movies were even mentioned in the show!!! Helloooo. *ugh*

Yeah, Phoebe and Leslie. Another boyfriend soon to be gone. Thank God! I can't understand why Phoebe had had so many guys?! Is she a whore or something? Never mind, they agree to a date and then all is forgotten when Paige needs to be saved. Okay, sister before boyfriend but still. Can you make a decision for once and not always switch around?! Seriously, I have lost count of the many guys Phoebe had, with the longest exception Cole.

And the last scene .... *shudders*

[Deleted]

It seems that BK had used all good that was hip at that particular time, hence Magic School = Hogwarts and Charrrrmed = Pirates of the Carribean! Plus, the movies were even mentioned in the show!!! Helloooo. *ugh*

And it was so transparent it wasn't funny.  Anyone could see that Kern was cashing in on what was currently popular.

[Astral Vision]

Oh yay, Styx Feet Under is next. I actually quite like this one, despite the many debates that certain choices in this episode have coined (i.e. the continuing debate of Piper always choosing Phoebe over Paige).

Aaww, and this is the first episode Paige sees Kyle on-screen, though I'm not sure if they have an actual conversation yet. Considering, he's her slampiece, it's strange how long it takes for her to meet him compared to Piper and Phoebe who get to meet him on his first episode. Hang on, if she didn't meet him in the previous episode, how does she know what he looks like when he's standing across the street as to be able to point him out to Piper..?

Anyway, I can't wait for P3Nathan's review on this episode.

[Esmeralda]

YAY! If I'm not mistaken, "Styx Feet Under" is the first of the non-TheWB-mandated episodes and the season becomes (for the most part) more stomachable, especially because you start finding demons you can cheer for - since by this point, I sure wasn't cheering for the Charmed Ones!

My biggest problem with "Styx Feet Under" was one of my biggest problems with the show - CHARMED ONES KEEP DYING BUT UNLESS THEIR NAME IS PRUE, THEY DON'T STAY DEAD!

[Astral Vision]

Yep. Though at least they acknowledge that they keep coming back and get a Late Lamented Prue reference out of it.

Piper: The big deal is sometimes the names don't come off the list.

Phoebe: Well, ours does.

Piper: Not always.

I've just watched Styx Feet Under and the already another terrible episode so soon Once in a Blue Moon just now, so they're both fresh in my mind. It's nice that the reruns are lining up with these reviews, lol - whilst I find myself with time to watch the reruns, that is.

[Deleted]

Gonna watch some more tonight, so should have Styx Feet Under up late tonight or early tomorrow.

Yeah, I recall Styx being the first episode of the season I could actually enjoy. I'm sure I'll have some issues with the whole "grand design" thing and as you guys have already mentioned, more frivolous main character deaths... but compared to the last four episodes, I'm sure it'll look like a masterpiece.

[Esmeralda]

Jul 22, 2015 6:56:30 GMT -5 Astral Vision said:

Yep. Though at least they acknowledge that they keep coming back and get a Late Lamented Prue reference out of it.

Piper: The big deal is sometimes the names don't come off the list.

Phoebe: Well, ours does.

Piper: Not always.

I've just watched Styx Feet Under and the already another terrible episode so soon Once in a Blue Moon just now, so they're both fresh in my mind. It's nice that the reruns are lining up with these reviews, lol - whilst I find myself with time to watch the reruns, that is.

Oh, ICK! I totally forgot about "One in a Blue Moon" - maybe we *are* still in the midst of TheWB-Mandated ones... Not to mention the return of Chris, which they stuck on Halloween so most of the Charmed-fans missed it. No doubt TheWB did *not* want The Charmed Sons if Season Seven was the last one but instead wanted their version of Buffy with Billie.

[Esmeralda]

Jul 22, 2015 7:40:30 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Gonna watch some more tonight, so should have Styx Feet Under up late tonight or early tomorrow.

Yeah, I recall Styx being the first episode of the season I could actually enjoy. I'm sure I'll have some issues with the whole "grand design" thing and as you guys have already mentioned, more frivolous main character deaths... but compared to the last four episodes, I'm sure it'll look like a masterpiece.

LOL! I'm very curious to see how you review a halfway decent episode....give us an idea of how you'll review Season One, which I'm thrilled that you're considered watching after you're done with this - it should be a blast constantly comparing S1 with S7 or S8...

[Sadrick]

Jul 21, 2015 10:45:58 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Piper: Look, you're not gonna be able to move on if you don't let go of the past.

Piper: But you have nothing to feel guilty about. What happened was out of your control. All that matters is what happens next.

She’s like the little devil on his shoulder. Piper, he killed Giddy and then went on to murder a completely innocent man. Granted, Barbas gave him a nudge, but it wasn't mind control, he was already at the edge! Non-psychopathic people with hearts that aren’t tiny, rotten, prune lookin’ things like your's, would feel a hell of a lot of guilt there! It’s normal and you going “meh, tomorrow’s a new day” aint gonna cut it!

I'll be honest. Part of me wants to see Phoebe going off on the same tirade with Leo and Piper as she did with Cole when learning about his murdering an Elder. 

Leo: "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Barbas was manipulating me. I didn't have a choice."

*Phoebe sighs and rolls her eyes*

Phoebe: " You just don't get it do you? He wasn't just some demon, Leo, he was an innocent being, an Elder. Now you can deny it all you want, but you're the one who actually killed him, not Barbas."

*turns to Piper*

Phoebe: "And shame on you for trying to pass off someone's murder as being nothing."

~~~

Nevermind the fact that what Cole did to those two criminals would technically classify as self-defence. They were holding up a bar, shot directly into Cole's body as he was minding his own business, and that prompted him to act. Now could he have just knocked them out or something? Yes, but I don't begrudge him for retaliating after being attacked. 

Can you imagine how different the show would be if the same measure of accountability that they hold Cole and the demons to were actually applied to the sisters and Leo? That might be worth watching seeing the sisters being torn into by someone. We got a taste of it during that episode with the tribunal and Barbas acting as an admittedly decent opposing counselor. 

[Deleted]

Nevermind the fact that what Cole did to those two criminals would technically classify as self-defence. They were holding up a bar, shot directly into Cole's body as he was minding his own business, and that prompted him to act. Now could he have just knocked them out or something? Yes, but I don't begrudge him for retaliating after being attacked.

Cole taking out those two oxygen wasters was totally understandable.  Then Phoebe goes all Holier Than Thou on him because she apparently didn't care that the aforementioned oxygen wasters were shooting up a  bar and killing people themselves.

Then, the following year, Phoebe helps kill Rick.  So, it's evil if Cole does it, but Phoebe gets a pass?  I don't think so.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2015 6:47:14 GMT -5 Esmeralda said:

YAY! If I'm not mistaken, "Styx Feet Under" is the first of the non-TheWB-mandated episodes and the season becomes (for the most part) more stomachable, especially because you start finding demons you can cheer for - since by this point, I sure wasn't cheering for the Charmed Ones!

But, unfortunately, it's where the Avatar nonsense begins. 

P3Nathan, get ready for one of the most boring, dragging stretches of the show ever.

[Esmeralda]

Jul 22, 2015 11:24:34 GMT -5 @bettynewbie said:

Jul 22, 2015 6:47:14 GMT -5 Esmeralda said:

YAY! If I'm not mistaken, "Styx Feet Under" is the first of the non-TheWB-mandated episodes and the season becomes (for the most part) more stomachable, especially because you start finding demons you can cheer for - since by this point, I sure wasn't cheering for the Charmed Ones!

But, unfortunately, it's where the Avatar nonsense begins. 

P3Nathan, get ready for one of the most boring, dragging stretches of the show ever.

If you're cheering for the Avatars, then it's not...

[Sadrick]

Jul 22, 2015 11:16:40 GMT -5 @tim66 said:

Nevermind the fact that what Cole did to those two criminals would technically classify as self-defence. They were holding up a bar, shot directly into Cole's body as he was minding his own business, and that prompted him to act. Now could he have just knocked them out or something? Yes, but I don't begrudge him for retaliating after being attacked.

Cole taking out those two oxygen wasters was totally understandable.  Then Phoebe goes all Holier Than Thou on him because she apparently didn't care that the aforementioned oxygen wasters were shooting up a  bar and killing people themselves.

Then, the following year, Phoebe helps kill Rick.  So, it's evil if Cole does it, but Phoebe gets a pass?  I don't think so.

It's not surprising. On top of being vain and morally detached, the sisters are also hypocrites who denounce others without first reflecting upon their own actions. Phoebe deserves no consolation or sympathy because she's contradicted the same principles which she tries to hold others to. 

[Deleted]

Phoebe deserves no consolation or sympathy because she's contradicted the same principles which she tries to hold others to.

She seems to have forgotten the lesson of Mortality Bites.