P3Nathan's Season 7 Rewatch

[Deleted]

The Sisters Grim
a.k.a- Styx Feet Under

The episode starts with Piper and Paige taking a leaf out of my book and having a really good b!tch about Phoebe. You guys are just buttering me up after the last 4 atrocious episodes aren’t ya? Well that’s a nice effort and all, but if you think you’re getting away with “Blue Moon” next, you’ve got another thing coming!


Paige has cast a protection spell on Mr. Chaplain. She got it from one of her best grad-students, because she’s headmistress now remember... and apparently that means not having to write her own spells anymore.


We meet half demon Kevin/Sirk…. So Sirkin. He becomes fully human by vanquishing his human lineage. Huh. Is this the case for all half human-half demons? Does that mean Cole had some distant relative out there somewhere?


Mr. Chaplain has a great big Goldie Hawn hole through his chest due to Paige’s spell. Oopsie doopsie.


Duh doo duh doo... See I’ve already waited too long and all my hope is gone. *Ahem*


Leo waves his hand through the hole all “Hey look, it actually is a hole!” Douche bag.
The sisters and Leo are as sensitive to this guys situation as you’d expect, i.e.: not very... but they’ve been worse.


I quite like what Phoebe is wearing....yeah you heard me! Her hair looks alright too actually.




Paige: The only reason we are out hunting for demons constantly is because Phoebe won't deal with her Leslie issues.

Huh? Should I understand the connection there Paige? Hey if her Leslie non-issues actually get her to care about demons and innocents, let her have em!



Hey it’s the Angel of Death.
*ZOOM* “I’m the Angel of Death”
… see?





Death: People have to die, in order, according to my list.”

Just remember that, okay? Nothing about that line will make sense by the end, trust me.





Paige: We are not doing anything until we deal with Leslie.
Phoebe: Paige, are you crazy? There's a demon on the loose.

Did I wake up in opposite land? Phoebe cares more about demons than guys, Paige is the moron who puts innocents last, right is left, up is down.
But seriously Paige, lay off the stupid pills.





*Sigh* So thanks to stupid Paige, we have this.
Phoebe won’t go upstairs to Leslie, she’s avoiding him you see? Did I mention lately how she’s really, really, really emotionally mature and also the world’s greatest advice columnist? Anyway boring, boring Leslie-Phoebe, boring, boring, he’s gone soon anyway, so who cares? Boring, boring etc.



Brody Boy Wonder. He wants Darryl to help him get to the sisters and it takes like 2 seconds for him to lose his cool and start threatening him. Yeah so he was always a nutcase then.


Mr Chaplain says goodbye to his wife, Harriet (without actually saying goodbye), poor guy. Funny how I actually care more about these two in the half minute we see them together, than I do about Phoebe and Leslie in six episodes.

Death undoes the spell… not sure why he didn’t just do that in the first place, but whatever.

Piper goes into full blown shrieking shrew mode and Death responds by killing her. PAHAHAHAHAHA!



Paige: Stop yelling at Death!
Heh. That line always makes me smirk.




Don’t get me wrong, I’d kill her too, but surely this whole thing would screw up the grand design. See this is my main gripe about this episode, these new death rules that they come up with are all over the place.






Inspector: I’m sorry for your loss.
Paige: *Shrug* It’s okay.

Hahaha. Brilliant.





Phoebe looks at Piper’s list and says Sirkin’s mortal soul would be on it if he’d succeeded, but since there’s no hint that they actually know his mortal name, I’m not sure how that helps.





Piper: Well, I think you might actually be, ya know, dead. I know, bummer huh?”

*SNORT* Piper trying to be nice ladies and gentlemen.




Charisma again, she’s helping Sirkin kill his family… so yeah she was pretty evil actually wasn’t she?

Urgh, Leslie again. He thinks Piper’s dead. Such a muse is he, that Phoebe is inspired when he says “Make a list”. This helps them to realize they should check Piper’s list for Sirkin’s next family member. No sh!t. But also, if she WAS on the list, then surely she’d die some other way anyway, right? When it’s your time, it’s your time, Death just comes back. Or at least that’s what they’ve been telling us since season 3.

Sirkin finds that Harriet is pregnant and they save her. Now Harriet’s name is gone and Phoebe’s name is on the list. I’m just imagining Death teleporting all over the world and the names disappearing half the time “Aww damn, circumstances changed again!?” Must be tiring.





Paige: Our next move is for you to stay here because you are on top of the list, you have no active powers, and Leo and I are just going to go take care of the demon. You just need to accept it. *Shrugs and orbs out*

Ya know, Paige is kind of a b!tch this episode.





Death teaches Piper the meaning of death and generally hits her with a hefty dose of “It’s not all about you”.

Charisma really is playing Cordelia huh? Also she helps Sirkin kill Paige. So yeah, she’s evil.





Piper: What we're all about is keeping you alive.
Phoebe: Not at the expense of an innocent.
----
Piper: That's before we knew you were next on the list. Why are you not listening to me? I'm trying to save you.
Phoebe: Because this isn't just about me.

Damn. It’s a shame I know what this is all for; otherwise my hopes would be raised for Phoebe and the chance of her reverting to a somewhat likable character before the show’s end.





Paige is dead and Piper has to take her. This scene is pretty well acted and pretty damn sad… which considering how meaningless the death of a sister is these days, is pretty good going. So kudos to Holly and Rose for actually getting me to care.


Phoebe gets her premonition back and goes to save Harriet. Yep, that’s what this Phoebe 180 was all about. They needed to have it seem as if she’d learnt her lesson so that they could give her a power back. But hey, she’s prioritizing innocents, she’s using her power to save one right now, so I’ll give her a chance. We’ll see how long this lasts... but my money’s on: not very.



They vanquish Sirkin and this is where they ruin a pretty decent episode with more grand design/death list stuff that makes zero freakin’ sense. Sirkin’s name isn’t on the list because they changed the circumstances...even though when they changed circumstances before, the list changed to fit that. So anyway, to make up for that, Phoebe wants to trade his soul for Paige’s and yes, Death totally goes for it! So what have we learned today viewers? People have to die according to the order on Death’s list... except all the times when they don’t. Great, good to know.


Rose’s acting is good here… I guess when they give her something decent to do, she’ll do it.


Death back hands Sirkin into the afterlife.





Piper wakes up and Brody Boy Wonder is sat waiting for her.

Piper: What are you doing here?
Agent Brody: Confirming my suspicions. Confirming that magic really does exist, even though I don't quite understand it yet.

Yeah, again, how many things do you need to see her freeze or blow up to confirm that for you?
I’ve also quickly remembered in the last couple of episodes how much I dislike him. His smugness, his arrogance, his threats, the suits he buys from Gap for kids...



Leslie thinks Piper is a government agent. Urgh, whatever, boring, boring, zero chemistry, one more episode Nick, nobody cares.


And there endeth a pretty decent episode.
I'll see you all in PMS werewolf hell.

[Astral Vision]

I was hoping you'd point out how they just leave Paige's dead body behind in that alleyway/warehouse place. I always forget that fact until the scene where she comes back to life all by herself, because Phoebe and Leo just ditched her. Leo has the power to orb. They couldn't have taken her to Magic School with them?

Anyway, great review as always. And I can't wait for the next one. Bad plot, bad CGI, but bye-bye Nick and some funny lines (despite how mean some of those lines make the sisters sound).

[Chrisaholic]

One hell of a episode! Lists of death, of things to do and many more, including a lot of complaining. *sighs* It seems to be that all sisters have forgotten about the Grand Design and what role they have to play. You can't run from it, for sure. They should adore the simple things! Like having two wonderful boys (Piper), a well-known column (Phoebe) and a job as headmistress at Magic School (Paige). You can find happiness everywhere, ladies!! Get that in your head!

Ugh, "Blue Moon". I already feel queasy.

[Esmeralda]

Jul 23, 2015 7:00:50 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

The Sisters Grim
a.k.a- Styx Feet Under

The episode starts with Piper and Paige taking a leaf out of my book and having a really good b!tch about Phoebe. You guys are just buttering me up after the last 4 atrocious episodes aren’t ya? Well that’s a nice effort and all, but if you think you’re getting away with “Blue Moon” next, you’ve got another thing coming!


Paige has cast a protection spell on Mr. Chaplain. She got it from one of her best grad-students, because she’s headmistress now remember... and apparently that means not having to write her own spells anymore.


We meet half demon Kevin/Sirk…. So Sirkin. He becomes fully human by vanquishing his human lineage. Huh. Is this the case for all half human-half demons? Does that mean Cole had some distant relative out there somewhere?


Mr. Chaplain has a great big Goldie Hawn hole through his chest due to Paige’s spell. Oopsie doopsie.


Duh doo duh doo... See I’ve already waited too long and all my hope is gone. *Ahem*


Leo waves his hand through the hole all “Hey look, it actually is a hole!” Douche bag.
The sisters and Leo are as sensitive to this guys situation as you’d expect, i.e.: not very... but they’ve been worse.


I quite like what Phoebe is wearing....yeah you heard me! Her hair looks alright too actually.




Paige: The only reason we are out hunting for demons constantly is because Phoebe won't deal with her Leslie issues.

Huh? Should I understand the connection there Paige? Hey if her Leslie non-issues actually get her to care about demons and innocents, let her have em!



Hey it’s the Angel of Death.
*ZOOM* “I’m the Angel of Death”
… see?





Death: People have to die, in order, according to my list.”

Just remember that, okay? Nothing about that line will make sense by the end, trust me.





Paige: We are not doing anything until we deal with Leslie.
Phoebe: Paige, are you crazy? There's a demon on the loose.

Did I wake up in opposite land? Phoebe cares more about demons than guys, Paige is the moron who puts innocents last, right is left, up is down.
But seriously Paige, lay off the stupid pills.





*Sigh* So thanks to stupid Paige, we have this.
Phoebe won’t go upstairs to Leslie, she’s avoiding him you see? Did I mention lately how she’s really, really, really emotionally mature and also the world’s greatest advice columnist? Anyway boring, boring Leslie-Phoebe, boring, boring, he’s gone soon anyway, so who cares? Boring, boring etc.



Brody Boy Wonder. He wants Darryl to help him get to the sisters and it takes like 2 seconds for him to lose his cool and start threatening him. Yeah so he was always a nutcase then.


Mr Chaplain says goodbye to his wife, Harriet (without actually saying goodbye), poor guy. Funny how I actually care more about these two in the half minute we see them together, than I do about Phoebe and Leslie in six episodes.

Death undoes the spell… not sure why he didn’t just do that in the first place, but whatever.

Piper goes into full blown shrieking shrew mode and Death responds my killing her. PAHAHAHAHAHA!



Paige: Stop yelling at Death!
Heh. That line always makes me smirk.




Don’t get me wrong, I’d kill her too, but surely this whole thing would screw up the grand design. See this is my main gripe about this episode, these new death rules that they come up with are all over the place.






Inspector: I’m sorry for your loss.
Paige: *Shrug* It’s okay.

Hahaha. Brilliant.





Phoebe looks at Piper’s list and says Sirkin’s mortal soul would be on it if he’d succeeded, but since there’s no hint that they actually know his mortal name, I’m not sure how that helps.





Piper: Well, I think you might actually be, ya know, dead. I know, bummer huh?”

*SNORT* Piper trying to be nice ladies and gentlemen.




Charisma again, she’s helping Sirkin kill his family… so yeah she was pretty evil actually wasn’t she?

Urgh, Leslie again. He thinks Piper’s dead. Such a muse is he, that Phoebe is inspired when he says “Make a list”. This helps them to realize they should check Piper’s list for Sirkin’s next family member. No sh!t. But also, if she WAS on the list, then surely she’d die some other way anyway, right? When it’s your time, it’s your time, Death just comes back. Or at least that’s what they’ve been telling us since season 3.

Sirkin finds that Harriet is pregnant and they save her. Now Harriet’s name is gone and Phoebe’s name is on the list. I’m just imagining Death teleporting all over the world and the names disappearing half the time “Aww damn, circumstances changed again!?” Must be tiring.





Paige: Our next move is for you to stay here because you are on top of the list, you have no active powers, and Leo and I are just going to go take care of the demon. You just need to accept it. *Shrugs and orbs out*

Ya know, Paige is kind of a b!tch this episode.





Death teaches Piper the meaning of death and generally hits her with a hefty dose of “It’s not all about you”.

Charisma really is playing Cordelia huh? Also she helps Sirkin kill Paige. So yeah, she’s evil.





Piper: What we're all about is keeping you alive.
Phoebe: Not at the expense of an innocent.
----
Piper: That's before we knew you were next on the list. Why are you not listening to me? I'm trying to save you.
Phoebe: Because this isn't just about me.

Damn. It’s a shame I know what this is all for; otherwise my hopes would be raised for Phoebe and the chance of her reverting to a somewhat likable character before the show’s end.





Paige is dead and Piper has to take her. This scene is pretty well acted and pretty damn sad… which considering how meaningless the death of a sister is these days, is pretty good going. So kudos to Holly and Rose for actually getting me to care.


Phoebe gets her premonition back and goes to save Harriet. Yep, that’s what this Phoebe 180 was all about. They needed to have it seem as if she’d learnt her lesson so that they could give her a power back. But hey, she’s prioritizing innocents, she’s using her power to save one right now, so I’ll give her a chance. We’ll see how long this lasts... but my money’s on: not very.



They vanquish Sirkin and this is where they ruin a pretty decent episode with more grand design/death list stuff that makes zero freakin’ sense. Sirkin’s name isn’t on the list because they changed the circumstances...even though when they changed circumstances before, the list changed to fit that. So anyway, to make up for that, Phoebe wants to trade his soul for Paige’s and yes, Death totally goes for it! So what have we learned today viewers? People have to die according to the order on Death’s list... except all the times when they don’t. Great, good to know.


Rose’s acting is good here… I guess when they give her something decent to do, she’ll do it.


Death back hands Sirkin into the afterlife.





Piper wakes up and Brody Boy Wonder is sat waiting for her.

Piper: What are you doing here?
Agent Brody: Confirming my suspicions. Confirming that magic really does exist, even though I don't quite understand it yet.

Yeah, again, how many things do you need to see her freeze or blow up to confirm that for you?
I’ve also quickly remembered in the last couple of episodes how much I dislike him. His smugness, his arrogance, his threats, the suits he buys from Gap for kids...



Leslie thinks Piper is a government agent. Urgh, whatever, boring, boring, zero chemistry, one more episode Nick, nobody cares.


And there endeth a pretty decent episode.
I'll see you all in PMS werewolf hell.

After reading your review, I get the feeling that if this episode was part of S1-3 - especially if it came shortly after "Death Takes a Halliwell" - it would seem pretty horrible. But as is, it's not bad - just not as good as I thought I remembered it being.

Oh, guy, good luck in PMS werewolf hell! Thank God we get to say "Bye, bye, Leslie".

I'm also surprised by how evil Kyra was - not what I remembered at all - but as usual in S6-8, compared with the Charmed Ones, she's not bad.

Funny, I actually started liking Brody, not seeing him the way you do right now - not until he started obsessing over the Avatars. Then it was a repeat of Cole and Phoebe, but the worst parts of that one, specifically Paige turning her back on her sisters - but unlike Phoebe, I couldn't blame her one single bit! After the way they treated her in this one, I would've SO been out of there - used my orbing to go halfway round the world then bind my magic so Leo couldn't find me! But as you said, this is in the midst of Ditzy Paige era, when she was even stupider than Phoebe, and that's saying.

And for Phoebe to get her premonition back just in time to start using it for her baby-daddy search...sheesh!

I'm becoming very glad I never wasted my money on this season's DVD - at one point, I almost did...

[Melinda Halliwell]

And for Phoebe to get her premonition back just in time to start using it for her baby search...sheesh!

Exactly what was the point and what else had Phoebe done beside saving Harriet to get that back. Nothing which she should've done more of to earn them again. And then the tribunal didn't retake Phoebe's premonitions when she abused her powers again did they?

[Deleted]

Styx Fee Under was actually one of the better episodes of early Season Seven.  Alas, it was back to the turd pile with the one that came after, that horrible Blue Moon thing.

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2015 11:33:42 GMT -5 @tim66 said:

Styx Fee Under was actually one of the better episodes of early Season Seven.  Alas, it was back to the turd pile with the one that came after, that horrible Blue Moon thing.

I think Es nailed it about this episode: "After reading your review, I get the feeling that if this episode was part of S1-3 - especially if it came shortly after "Death Takes a Halliwell" - it would seem pretty horrible. But as is, it's not bad - just not as good as I thought I remembered it being."  "Styx Feet Under" only looks good because it's sandwiched inbetween a group of REALLY awful episodes.

As I said, early Season 7 is terrible.  The WB-mandated fillers were some of the worst the show's ever seen, and the Avatar stuff dragged for eternity, made everyone look like a completely horrible person, and had one of the worst endings ever.  Ranked as an individual season, I'd probably put early Season 7 down in the pits with Seasons 5 and 8.

[Astral Vision]

Sorry, random outburst whilst watching There's Something About Leo, but it's bugging me so much right now, and this seems the most appropriate thread to say it at: Piper could have frozen Kyle!!!!!! That would've saved Leo and stopped the whole episode reset. Gah. Mini-rant done.

It seems that season 3 was the final season where the Charmed Ones knew how to handle people pointing guns at them. Since then, guns seem to outwit them. Okay, now the rants over, I think.

[Deleted]

Jul 24, 2015 4:52:50 GMT -5 Astral Vision said:

Sorry, random outburst whilst watching There's Something About Leo, but it's bugging me so much right now, and this seems the most appropriate thread to say it at: Piper could have frozen Kyle!!!!!! That would've saved Leo and stopped the whole episode reset. Gah. Mini-rant done.

It seems that season 3 was the final season where the Charmed Ones knew how to handle people pointing guns at them. Since then, guns seem to outwit them. Okay, now the rants over, I think.

Oh absolutely, 100%
The brain-sucking virus that had Paige constantly forgetting she could orb stuff definitely got to Piper and her freezing power too.

[Deleted]

Jul 24, 2015 5:45:56 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Jul 24, 2015 4:52:50 GMT -5 Astral Vision said:

Sorry, random outburst whilst watching There's Something About Leo, but it's bugging me so much right now, and this seems the most appropriate thread to say it at: Piper could have frozen Kyle!!!!!! That would've saved Leo and stopped the whole episode reset. Gah. Mini-rant done.

It seems that season 3 was the final season where the Charmed Ones knew how to handle people pointing guns at them. Since then, guns seem to outwit them. Okay, now the rants over, I think.

Oh absolutely, 100%
The brain-sucking virus that had Paige constantly forgetting she could orb stuff definitely got to Piper and her freezing power too.

I think Piper pretty much forgot she could freeze things as soon as she got her combustion power.  Notice how Piper's use of her freezing power steadily declined from Season 4 onwards?

[Melinda Halliwell]

Jul 24, 2015 9:23:52 GMT -5 @bettynewbie said:

I think Piper pretty much forgot she could freeze things as soon as she got her combustion power.  Notice how Piper's use of her freezing power steadily declined from Season 4 onwards?

Hello why freeze things when you can just get rid of it quickly with the flick of your wrists? That's what Piper thought when she could blow things up easily because that's how it was most of the time.

Had things been harder and not so easily done then Piper would've had no choice but to freeze things more often which didn't happen unfortunately.

[Deleted]

The brain-sucking virus that had Paige constantly forgetting she could orb stuff definitely got to Piper and her freezing power too.

Maybe this was some kind of cosmic balance.  Whenever the sisters powers got increased, their IQ's got decreased. 

[Esmeralda]

Jul 24, 2015 4:52:50 GMT -5 Astral Vision said:

Sorry, random outburst whilst watching There's Something About Leo, but it's bugging me so much right now, and this seems the most appropriate thread to say it at: Piper could have frozen Kyle!!!!!! That would've saved Leo and stopped the whole episode reset. Gah. Mini-rant done.

It seems that season 3 was the final season where the Charmed Ones knew how to handle people pointing guns at them. Since then, guns seem to outwit them. Okay, now the rants over, I think.

Naturally it had more to do that when she froze something, they had to match scene for scene, while exploding was just doing a "boom". But truly, when that was one of Melinda Warren's powers, while explosions was something hers never morphed into, so it was something Piper's never should've (just like astral projection, levitation, empathy, etc., etc. etc.), it so shouldn't have been forgotten as much as it was.

[Deleted]

Jul 24, 2015 11:00:49 GMT -5 Melinda Halliwell said:

Hello why freeze things when you can just get rid of it quickly with the flick of your wrists? That's what Piper thought when she could blow things up easily because that's how it was most of the time.

Had things been harder and not so easily done then Piper would've had no choice but to freeze things more often which didn't happen unfortunately.

Well, that was the direction the show took in the later years, use "kewl" powers as a substitute for character development.  You make everyone super-powerful and when things get a little *too* easy, you make them dumber.

This was how we were supposed to know that Piper was the "tough big sister" in the later years.  Instead of passively freezing bad guys, she now aggressively blew them up; she no longer needed any of that "Power of Three" nonsense.

[Deleted]

B!tches

A.K.A- Once In a Blue Moon


So we all know how this atrocity starts, the sisters all have PMS. When they have PMS; Paige becomes a tactless meany (I guess she had PMS last episode too then), Phoebe gets teary and Piper remains very much the same as always. Also their powers are on the fritz.

For some reason, which I cannot fathom, Piper decides that this is the best time to reveal the truth about Leo.





Piper: I was just hoping for a little understanding, that's all.
Phoebe: I know. We're sorry. It's just, we're not big fans of the Elders right now.

Understanding? From who? PhoeME and Ms. B!tchTwitch? Oh and well if you’re not fans of them, then by all means, Leo can murder as many as he fancies!!!




Leo tells the sisters that they’re meant to be getting a new whitelighter.

We see the blue moon, which is literally a blue moon… like this is a totally not weird thing that all the mortals can see in Charmed world. *sigh*

Cocky new whitelighter guy is firmly up his own arse, so no skin off my nose when he’s mauled by the horrible CGI hell hounds. Really though, I gave season 6 a lot of grief for bad CGI… I’d obviously forgotten how far it still had to sink.

“Guest Starring: Nick Lachey”
Last time we’ll be seeing that! Hooray! Every cloud and all that…

Elder Grumpus and the other Elders are healing the cocky whitelighter… I guess all the Elders just hang around Notwarts now.




Elder Grumpus proves himself to be a massive idiot. Isn’t the first time, won’t be the last.

Leo: So that makes me guilty? How do you know a Darklighter didn't do this?
Grumpus: Does it look like a Darklighter did that?

Does it look like Leo did that? The guy has clear claw and teeth marks, moron! Leo only fries his victims. 




Piper wants Leo to move back in, but Paige and Phoebe aren’t happy about that. They think the boys will be in danger if he does. Which is stupid reasoning because by that logic you should’ve put them up for adoption at birth with all the demons that come your way!




Phoebe and Leslie talk star signs and where they go from here.

Les: What is there to talk about? I'm moving away, you're coming back to work and that's it, isn't it?
Phoebe: Well, it doesn't have to be.

Yes it does, contracts up, bye Nick!!!





Brody Boy Wonder tricks Paige and sees her using magic. She’s exposed herself, so he uses it as leverage and promises not to tell Piper that he saw her use magic. Yes, you heard me, his bargaining chip is that he won’t tell Piper, the one he’s seen freeze things, blow stuff up and rise from the freakin’ dead, that he saw Paige use magic! But Paige’s IQ is forever falling, so of course she rolls with it.




Piper: The only thing that attacks a Whitelighter is a Darklighter. That's it.

You forgot Eames, Titans, angry ghosts, sirens and probably a ton more that I’m forgetting…





Hey the whitelighter bait is that guy from The Big Bang Theory. Another whiny as hell whitelighter, just what this show needs.


And here we have “the big reveal”. The Charmed Ones turn into massive b!tches… but this time literally!

They decide that it must be the blue moon, but that’s where the explanation ends. Prophesised most powerful witches transforming into beats, you might expect a bit more than that, but nope.

The orbing effect is starting to look cheap…er

Phoebe bails in the midst of all this to go and see Leslie. So how long before Phoebe completely forgot what she learned last episode? Erm... well hey, 18 minutes. That’s better than I expected her to do to be honest.

Going to update Elder Grumpus. New power, great threat, yada yada yada, for the squillionth time.

Phoebe is late for her date and therefore is running and OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Try a bra already. Alyssa nearly bursts out of her top crossing the street and her boulders almost take my eye out!
Anyway, more boring Leslie stuff… aren’t you gone yet?

Brody Boy Wonder describes the Avatars to Paige and makes them sound far cooler than they actually are. He also tells her about his parents.

The floating heads finally reveal their identities and get themselves a demon, Mr. Neck Cracky. They want the sisters to be afraid of Leo, because… erm, because… well because they’re making this up as they go along.

So Leo is possessed by Mr Neck Cracky and he’s really obvious, but fortunately the people he has to trick are really, really dim.

Leslie again, because it's his last episode and damn it, he'll make the most of it regardless of how pointless he is.
He comes to apologise to Phoebe…unbelievable. For what? Being annoyed that she was late? Get out of my sight Leslie, you pathetic, desperate man!




Piper: That wasn't Leo. He was possessed or something.
Paige: Again? Well, it seems to happen a whole lot.

Erm, no it doesn’t. Leo hasn’t been possessed once. Also, you know what? Leo has done terrible things, I don't deny that for a second... but the amount of times you guys turn evil and/or generally just do evil things even when you’re supposedly good, I think making out like possession is hard to believe wouldn’t be in your best interests in the long run guys.




Elder Grumpus Vs. The Huge Bitches. FIGHT!
Aww, that was fast. Elder Grumpus wins. Damn, could’ve at least mauled him a little bit.

Now we have a verbal battle between Elder Grumpus and Piper the Mighty Shrew. Of course Piper wins this one, as her voice can bring down whole empires.

Piper freezes Mr. Neck Cracky, as if to give us all the middle finger for the discussion we’ve just been having. Heh.




Piper: Whoever you are, stay away from my husband.

Oh come on Piper, that’s not how you do it. You put on your massive robot suit and scream “Stay away from him you b!tch”, then start shooting with your inbuilt flamethrower.




Okay, deep breath. Last time. Phoebe and Leslie. We’re told that the point of all this was that he helped Phoebe to not be afraid of love. Yeah, whatever, so long as it’s over.

Les: You're welcome. I guess it just wasn't meant to be, huh? You and me.
Phoebe: Maybe not right now. But I do think our signs are compatible, so...

Why do they always end Phoebe’s relationships this way? Making out like there’s a chance they might return when we all know full well that they have no intention of having these guys back. I mean not that I want him back, I just noticed a pattern…pretty sure they do the exact same thing with Dex in season 8 as well.


He leaves and Phoebe slowly takes her place back at her desk. It’s like watching Satan return to his throne in hell.


Leo is scared of putting his kids at risk, so he leaves… again, but in that way that Leo usually leaves, in that he’s not actually leaving at all. It’s his answer to everything it seems, just like Piper’s is to give up.



Okay, it’s over. What’s next? “Someone to Witch Over Me”. Hm, okay, if memory serves, that one was alright… right?

[Melinda Halliwell]

Jul 24, 2015 16:10:09 GMT -5 @bettynewbie said:

This was how we were supposed to know that Piper was the "tough big sister" in the later years.  Instead of passively freezing bad guys, she now aggressively blew them up; she no longer needed any of that "Power of Three" nonsense.

Which's why I didn't like her as much later seasons than I did earlier ones.

[Deleted]

So we all know how this atrocity starts, the sisters all have PMS. When they have PMS; Paige becomes a tactless meany (I guess she had PMS last episode too then), Phoebe gets teary and Piper remains very much the same as always. Also their powers are on the fritz.

Gotta hand it to Kern and his "writers".  In less than five episodes, they've insulted women twice.

We see the blue moon, which is literally a blue moon… like this is a totally not weird thing that all the mortals can see in Charmed world. *sigh*

Heck, we've had the Earth apparently stop rotating in the S6 finale, so what's a blue moon.  Duhhhhhh....

Really though, I gave season 6 a lot of grief for bad CGI… I’d obviously forgotten how far it still had to sink.

The Incredible Shrinking Budget strikes again.

“Guest Starring: Nick Lachey”
Last time we’ll be seeing that! Hooray!

Back to Reality TV hell for you, Mr. Jessica Simpson.

Phoebe and Leslie talk star signs and where they go from here.

Les: What is there to talk about? I'm moving away, you're coming back to work and that's it, isn't it?
Phoebe: Well, it doesn't have to be.

What a touching, moving scene... 

Hey the whitelighter bait is that guy from The Big Bang Theory. Another whiny as hell whitelighter, just what this show needs.

At least here he doesn't talk like Elmer Fudd (that wascally wabbit).

And here we have “the big reveal”. The Charmed Ones turn into massive b!tches… but this time literally!

DUN! DUN! DUN!  Let's insult all women again, Brad.

Phoebe is late for her date and therefore is running and OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Try a bra already. Alyssa nearly bursts out of her top crossing the street and her boulders almost take my eye out!

I guess she's also late for a Playboy shoot.

Leslie again, because it's his last episode and damn it, he'll make the most of it regardless of how pointless he is.
He comes to apologise to Phoebe…unbelievable. For what? Being annoyed that she was late? Get out of my sight Leslie, you pathetic, desperate man!

Hang in there, not long now.

Okay, deep breath. Last time. Phoebe and Leslie. We’re told that the point of all this was that he helped Phoebe to not be afraid of love. Yeah, whatever, so long as it’s over.

Les: You're welcome. I guess it just wasn't meant to be, huh? You and me.
Phoebe: Maybe not right now. But I do think our signs are compatible, so...

Why do they always end Phoebe’s relationships this way? Making out like there’s a chance they might return when we all know full well that they have no intention of having these guys back. I mean not that I want him back, I just noticed a pattern…pretty sure they do the exact same thing with Dex in season 8 as well.

Of course, Phoebe gets over him in five minutes.  On to the next slampiece.

[Sadrick]

Jul 24, 2015 17:24:41 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

Piper: That wasn't Leo. He was possessed or something.
Paige: Again? Well, it seems to happen a whole lot.

Erm, no it doesn’t. Leo hasn’t been possessed once. Also, you know what? Leo has done terrible things, I don't deny that for a second... but the amount of times you guys turn evil and/or generally just do evil things even when you’re supposedly good, I think making out like possession is hard to believe wouldn’t be in your best interests in the long run guys.

Actually, Leo was possessed once all the way back in S3. Remember Terra from "Coyote Piper"? It was brief, but he was technically being inhabited and controlled by an essence. That still doesn't make Leo equatable to the sisters who have been possessed in almost every season.

[Esmeralda]

LOL, I only got a little into this one and *knew* I'd have to go back and comment as I went along!

Jul 24, 2015 17:24:41 GMT -5 @p3nathan said:

B!tches

A.K.A- Once In a Blue Moon


So we all know how this atrocity starts, the sisters all have PMS. When they have PMS; Paige becomes a tactless meany (I guess she had PMS last episode too then), Phoebe gets teary and Piper remains very much the same as always. Also their powers are on the fritz.

For some reason, which I cannot fathom, Piper decides that this is the best time to reveal the truth about Leo.

Well, now you know what the difference in Piper is - she goes as stupid as her sisters! Usually she's a crappy witch, a crappy leader, a crappy sister, a crappy wife and a crappy mother, but this is just pure stupidity.

Piper: I was just hoping for a little understanding, that's all.
Phoebe: I know. We're sorry. It's just, we're not big fans of the Elders right now.

Understanding? From who? PhoeME and Ms. B!tchTwitch?

This is when I was glad I'm home, because I HOWLED with laughter! Ms. B!tchTwitch is the best nickname I've seen for Paige in ages! ALMOST makes me wish my friend Primrose_Empath was still a Charmed fan, so I could get her to make me a new siggy, also changing Freebie to PhoeME. It would mean finding new pictures, but Primrose always rocked at that.

Oh and well if you’re not fans of them, then by all means, Leo can murder as many as he fancies!!!

And because I'm not a big fan of them either, my reaction is "Go right ahead - as long as they take you four out at the same time you take them out!"

Leo tells the sisters that they’re meant to be getting a new whitelighter.

And do they ever? Nope. They’re on their own for the rest of the series, just like they were when Chris was their whitelighter. Just because you have powers, don’t make you one. And despite her getting powers and charges, there’s absolutely no way on God’s green Earth that I’d count S8 Paige as a real, (pardon the pun…) live whitelighter while she’s still alive.

We see the blue moon, which is literally a blue moon… like this is a totally not weird thing that all the mortals can see in Charmed world. *sigh*

So, what? Every woman on Earth is suddenly PMS?

Cocky new whitelighter guy is firmly up his own arse, so no skin off my nose when he’s mauled by the horrible CGI hell hounds. Really though, I gave season 6 a lot of grief for bad CGI… I’d obviously forgotten how far it still had to sink.

Actually these were the first CGIs that made me PMSL, they were SO bad and SO fakey!

“Guest Starring: Nick Lachey”
Last time we’ll be seeing that! Hooray! Every cloud and all that…

YIPPEE!!! Now only if it was the last time we’d see Holly Marie Combs, Alyssa Milano, Rose McGowan and Brian Krause!!!

Well, no, not really. There’s a few episodes coming up that aren’t THAT bad…BUT…

Elder Grumpus and the other Elders are healing the cocky whitelighter… I guess all the Elders just hang around Notwarts now.

Yup, at least until they start hanging around the Bridge…

Elder Grumpus proves himself to be a massive idiot. Isn’t the first time, won’t be the last.

Leo: So that makes me guilty? How do you know a Darklighter didn't do this?
Grumpus: Does it look like a Darklighter did that?

Does it look like Leo did that? The guy has clear claw and teeth marks, moron! Leo only fries his victims. 

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!

Piper wants Leo to move back in, but Paige and Phoebe aren’t happy about that. They think the boys will be in danger if he does. Which is stupid reasoning because by that logic you should’ve put them up for adoption at birth with all the demons that come your way!

ROFL!!! Which would’ve been the perfect solution to the Charmed Children problem! ESPECIALLY if you permanently bind all of their powers first!!!

Phoebe and Leslie talk star signs and where they go from here.

Les: What is there to talk about? I'm moving away, you're coming back to work and that's it, isn't it?
Phoebe: Well, it doesn't have to be.

Yes it does, contracts up, bye Nick!!!

Just count yourself lucky that you didn’t have to suffer some horrible death like most of Phoebe’s slampieces have.

Brody Boy Wonder tricks Paige and sees her using magic. She’s exposed herself, so he uses it as leverage and promises not to tell Piper that he saw her use magic. Yes, you heard me, his bargaining chip is that he won’t tell Piper, the one he’s seen freeze things, blow stuff up and rise from the freakin’ dead, that he saw Paige use magic! But Paige’s IQ is forever falling, so of course she rolls with it.

Sounds like whoever wrote this episode is as stupid as their main characters!

Piper: The only thing that attacks a Whitelighter is a Darklighter. That's it.
You forgot Eames, Titans, angry ghosts, sirens and probably a ton more that I’m forgetting…

Don’t forget angry Elders….

Hey the whitelighter bait is that guy from The Big Bang Theory. Another whiny as hell whitelighter, just what this show needs.

And you wonder why in most fanfics written during this time period, the Big Bad was usually the Elders…

And here we have “the big reveal”. The Charmed Ones turn into massive b!tches… but this time literally!

Hehehehehe! Now if only they’d stayed that way…

They decide that it must be the blue moon, but that’s where the explanation ends. Prophesised most powerful witches transforming into beasts, you might expect a bit more than that, but nope.

That would’ve been straining this screenwriter’s brain a bit too much…

The orbing effect is starting to look cheap…er.

*sigh* Yeah, the budget cuts from The on-life-support-WB (too bad they didn’t pull the plug after Season Four….) are definitely showing…

Phoebe bails in the midst of all this to go and see Leslie. So how long before Phoebe completely forgot what she learned last episode? Erm... well hey, 18 minutes. That’s better than I expected her to do to be honest.

Hey, she has her premonitions back. Why should she remember what she learned?

Going to update Elder Grumpus. New power, great threat, yada yada yada, for the squillionth time.

That was the worst part about the Avatars – this HUGE buildup for….YAWN!!! Reminds me a lot of S10 of the comics….

Phoebe is late for her date and therefore is running and OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Try a bra already. Alyssa nearly bursts out of her top crossing the street and her boulders almost take my eye out!
Anyway, more boring Leslie stuff… aren’t you gone yet?

And I’m even MORE glad I didn’t give in and buy this season’s DVD!

Brody Boy Wonder describes the Avatars to Paige and makes them sound far cooler than they actually are. He also tells her about his parents.

And I actually felt bad for him…guess during this period, Es was as stupid as the Charmed Ones! Like most lust-pardon-me-love stories during Charmed’s alternate universe spin-off, good idea done horribly!

The floating heads finally reveal their identities and get themselves a demon, Mr. Neck Cracky. They want the sisters to be afraid of Leo, because… erm, because… well because they’re making this up as they go along.

I’ll prove how long it’s been since I watched this – who are those floating heads?

So Leo is possessed by Mr Neck Cracky and he’s really obvious, but fortunately the people he has to trick are really, really dim.

It’s the PMS and the blue moon – remember?

Leslie again, because it's his last episode and damn it, he'll make the most of it regardless of how pointless he is.

LOL – I can’t believe I was actually rooting for this guy on Dancing with the Stars and still think he’s the best co-host they’ve had on that show… Certainly not on this one! Don’t let the door hit your a$$ on the way out, Nick!

He comes to apologise to Phoebe…unbelievable. For what? Being annoyed that she was late? Get out of my sight Leslie, you pathetic, desperate man!

*roll eyes at Leslie*

Piper: That wasn't Leo. He was possessed or something.
Paige: Again? Well, it seems to happen a whole lot.

Erm, no it doesn’t. Leo hasn’t been possessed once. Also, you know what? Leo has done terrible things, I don't deny that for a second... but the amount of times you guys turn evil and/or generally just do evil things even when you’re supposedly good, I think making out like possession is hard to believe wouldn’t be in your best interests in the long run guys.

Hehehehehe, too true! I think they were permanently possessed from S4 through S8!  That's the best solution for the alternate universe that I've ever heard!

Elder Grumpus Vs. The Huge Bitches. FIGHT!
Aww, that was fast. Elder Grumpus wins. Damn, could’ve at least mauled him a little bit.

A little?

Now we have a verbal battle between Elder Grumpus and Piper the Mighty Shrew. Of course Piper wins this one, as her voice can bring down whole empires.

Oh, guy, you’re killing me, I’m laughing so hard! I thought watching Obscure Lupa or reading TWOP was hilarious, but you’ve got them beat by a LONG shot! I never laughed as hard at their comments as I have at yours!

Piper freezes Mr. Neck Cracky, as if to give us all the middle finger for the discussion we’ve just been having. Heh.

Hehehehehe! You mean after the conversation we had during the previous episode she FINALLY actually remembers how to freeze??? Shall I die of shock? Now can she freeze her reflection in a mirror so she becomes permanently frozen?

Piper: Whoever you are, stay away from my husband.
Oh come on Piper, that’s not how you do it. You put on your massive robot suit and scream “Stay away from him you b!tch”, then start shooting with your inbuilt flamethrower.

Yeah, who is this woman who freezes? It sure isn’t The Power of One!

Okay, deep breath. Last time. Phoebe and Leslie. We’re told that the point of all this was that he helped Phoebe to not be afraid of love. Yeah, whatever, so long as it’s over.

Wait. Isn’t that the same lesson she’ll learn from Drake…and then learn from Coop? So all this bit with Leslie truly was a total waste of time, huh? *shakes head in disgust*

Les: You're welcome. I guess it just wasn't meant to be, huh? You and me.
Phoebe: Maybe not right now. But I do think our signs are compatible, so...
Why do they always end Phoebe’s relationships this way? Making out like there’s a chance they might return when we all know full well that they have no intention of having these guys back. I mean not that I want him back, I just noticed a pattern…pretty sure they do the exact same thing with Dex in season 8 as well.

Well, we can’t have a guy leaving not thinking that PhoeME/Freebie is the most desirable woman in the whole wide world and he’s going to be pining for her for the rest of his life, can we?

He leaves and Phoebe slowly takes her place back at her desk. It’s like watching Satan return to his throne in hell.

Hehehehe. It’s like wondering who her next victim will be…

Leo is scared of putting his kids at risk, so he leaves… again, but in that way that Leo usually leaves, in that he’s not actually leaving at all. It’s his answer to everything it seems, just like Piper’s is to give up.

Now we know the true reason Piper married him – they say a woman usually marries a man who reminds her of her father. And just like Victor, when Leo is afraid for his kids, he bails. And here I thought he's the reason why Wyatt didn't turn evil in the future...guess not.  Just more proof that the flash-forward in "Forever Charmed" is just Piper's delusion as she dies after the explosion in "Kill Billie, Vol. 2."  Or if you want to be nice - as she's in her coma...  Wait... Be nice to Piper? No, thanks!

Okay, it’s over. What’s next? “Someone to Witch Over Me”. Hm, okay, if memory serves, that one was alright… right?

It is if you believe that S6 Chris and Baby Chris are one and the same and that S6 Chris is truly S7 Leo’s son. Because I don’t (I want Baby Chris to have HALF a chance to grow up to NOT be S6 Chris…he may look like him, but hopefully not *be* a lying, whining, murdering brat like him - thank you, both Kalvana and Scifi, for using your fantastic fanfics “Future Consequences” and “A Normal Life” to show me and others why S6 Chris and Baby Chris are *not* one and the same, any more than Morality Bites' Melinda and Wyatt are, even if S6 Chris and Baby Chris have the same name.), I’m going to do myself a HUGE favor and sit this one out, just like I’ll sit “Imaginary Fiends” out - I don't want Goody Two-Shoes Wyatt to rot my teeth out with his sweetness.

Since I think I remember that you do like Chris, enjoy! It was an episode specifically made for Drew-aholics and Chris-aholics, neither of which am I one. 

[Esmeralda]

Jul 24, 2015 16:10:09 GMT -5 @bettynewbie said:

Jul 24, 2015 11:00:49 GMT -5 Melinda Halliwell said:

Hello why freeze things when you can just get rid of it quickly with the flick of your wrists? That's what Piper thought when she could blow things up easily because that's how it was most of the time.

Had things been harder and not so easily done then Piper would've had no choice but to freeze things more often which didn't happen unfortunately.

Well, that was the direction the show took in the later years, use "kewl" powers as a substitute for character development.  You make everyone super-powerful and when things get a little *too* easy, you make them dumber.

This was how we were supposed to know that Piper was the "tough big sister" in the later years.  Instead of passively freezing bad guys, she now aggressively blew them up; she no longer needed any of that "Power of Three" nonsense.

One of your best posts ever, BettyNewbie! I definitely could not have said it better myself. This was definitely how TheWB and Brad Kern handled the alternate-universe spin-off known as "The Perils of Poor, Poor Pitiful Piper" aka "PhoeME and Her Fantasy Men" aka "One Living Whitelighter Plus Two Witches Equals The Power of Three?"