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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2015 12:52:56 GMT -5
I love Phoebe/Kira, myself. In fact, I even made a few arts of them a while back: I would've loved to have seen Phoebe come out as bisexual and develop a relationship with Kira. Much better than Nick Lachey, Dex, Mr. Cardboard, and the rest of the throwaway Hunks of the Week they kept putting her with. I love these. Especially that banner. Thanks. I love making avatars and banners!
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Esmeralda
Charmed
S2 "What If...?" Fan Fic Winner
Twenty Years Gone....But Never Forgotten.
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Post by Esmeralda on Aug 13, 2015 13:02:44 GMT -5
But I can't begin to tell you how happy I am and how excited I am that you've decided to do Season 8 this way - getting to watch you compare these two so-very-different season, the first the start of the actual series, "Charmed" and the second the last of the horrible alternate-universe spin-off, "The Perils of Poor, Poor Pitiful Piper" aka "PhoeME and Her Fantasy Men" aka "Two Witches Plus One Living Whitelighter Equals the Power of Three?" should be absolutely hilarious!! Thank you so very, very much for all you do for us!!! Hahaha. You're very welcome. Much as I b!tch and gripe, I can't deny I'm enjoying it for the most part. I say that now, we'll see how I am into season 8... I'll have the whisky ready. LOL, sounds like a *VERY* good idea - although I'm hoping also getting to watch Season One will be an even better cure than the whiskey! But glad that you're enjoying it for the most part - not sure if I would've...
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2015 14:18:47 GMT -5
Not long to go now...
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Post by Sadrick on Aug 13, 2015 22:20:51 GMT -5
After this, Kyle's continued hatred of the Avatars makes no sense. His whole motivation against them was that he thought they killed his parents. Well, as it turns out, they didn't. So why does he still hate them? It's difficult to let go of old animosities, even when you discover that the object of your emotional upheaval is innocent. To Kyle, it must not have mattered whether they were innocent or not. He's been single-mindedly hunting them for decades now. The only change is his pretext for going after them - instead of seeking vengeance for his dead family, Kyle is using the same talking point that the Elders provided about the Avatars being a powerful danger to everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2015 0:50:19 GMT -5
I would have paired them up in the R&H Chronicles, but alas, that was one of the few things that damned flash forward in Forever Charmed sabotaged on me. Phoebe ends up with Mr. Cardboard Ah well, Kira was not single for long, I paired her up with Cole.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2015 11:49:35 GMT -5
It’s Avatastic, it’s Avatarrific! An Avatacular Charmed double feature...
Never Go Full Avatar A.k.a- Extreme Makeover: World Edition
The GAS Gang have apparently been helping the sisters to vanquish demons. That whole “neutral” thing went way out the window really quickly huh? They keep spouting on about how they’re beyond good and evil... yet they’re helping the sisters rid the world of demons? Erm, yeah, that’s pretty blatantly picking a side guys!
Kyle is b!tching and basically establishing that last episode changed absolutely nothing for him.
According to Paige, the Avatars are going to help the sisters write a Utopia spell. Sooo... the sisters do the spell to start Utopia, the sisters vanquish the demons to maintain Utopia... what are The Avatars doing exactly?
Kyle tries to contact the Elders, but gets napped by Zankou instead.
We kill some time with shots of San Francisco and some crappy music that really doesn’t go well with the feel of the episode at all.
That little twang that remains of Oded’s accent really comes through whenever Zankou says potion. He flames out right in Brody’s face, heh.
The GAS Gang talk to Paige about all these different things that could allow conflict to seep back into Utopia. I’d be pretty worried in their position too, it’s all sounding very flimsy and uncertain.
Phoebe: (to Leo) Will you give me a lift home? I wanna make sure I get my last column in. Paige: Last column? Phoebe: Well, yeah. How much advice can a world with no conflict need? I may be out of a job.
Of course it would all come back to her damn column... but also, huh? Isn’t her column mostly about love and relationships? Will those things not exist in Utopia?
So Phoebe does indeed go to the office and basically freaks everyone at The Bay Mirror out being all perky and s**t.
Phoebe: Until tomorrow, everyone! Ta-ta!
God I hate her.
Paige: It's just Kyle, he has good evidence. And his hunches have been right so far.
Uh, yeah... except that little thing where he was completely wrong about his parents’ murder, which was the start of his whole mission, but meh- minor detail.
Zankou gives Brody Boy Nutjob the paranoia crystal.
Piper and Paige find him in Zankou’s HQ. Kyle is obvious, Piper is suspicious, Paige is dense.
Kyle infects Paige. Apparently paranoid Paige = even twitchier than usual... and the “acting”, oh boy.
All three end up infected just before they put everybody in the world to sleep. We see shots of the spell blazing through San Fran, London, Moscow and... Tokyo, I think? Everyone at the WB lot drifts off into slumberland.
Alpha: It has begun.
I’d laugh if that was it. World peace is just everyone on the planet asleep. Probably work better than what they’re actually planning to be fair.
So the world will be asleep for 2 hours apparently and in that time, The Avatars are expecting the sisters to vanquish the earthbound demons. 2 hours?!?! How’s that going to work? Even teleporting, they’ll barely have time to take out a mere fraction! Also, with all mortals asleep and a bunch of demons among them... how is this not a huge massacre waiting to happen?
Zankou wants Kyle to kill Beta and her soothing voice.
He does so, but Beta takes him with her. You go girl! Good for me, but as far as she’s concerned, she probably should have frozen time instead, but whatever. Also for some reason her death is instant unlike Leo’s a few episodes a go.
Leo gets very unsure about this whole thing when The GAS Gang put the sisters to sleep too. Because free will MATTERS when you’re a Halliwell!
Everyone wakes up all high pitched and smiley. It’s kinda like the second half of last season’s finale, but without the amputations.
TO BE CONTINUED..... Immediately.
A Screwed World Order A.k.a- Charmageddon
We’re in Utopia, where people walk in lines and synchronise their newspaper reading.
Leo is worried.
Gamma: She grieves. Leo: I know, but not the way she's supposed to.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there isn’t one “right way” to grieve. I realise something is wrong in this scenario... but just saying for the benefit of the writers- not everyone immediately bursts into tears; it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them.
Oh I forgot to mention last episode, Leo finally got himself an Avatar coat, but for some reason his is grey instead of black like all the others. My dad used to have a coat like that.
There’s a man yelling at a police officer, The Avatars look at him and poof, he’s gone. I’m not sure why he wasn’t happy and serene or whatever, like everyone else. I guess the spell last episode didn’t take with some people...for some reason. Again, this whole thing is very flimsy and uncertain. If The Avatars spent centuries planning this, they need a career change.
Leo goes to see Paige, who is taking care of Kyle’s stuff.
Leo: Good. I mean, that's normal. You don't want to go around just having it all be glossed over, you know.
Oh yeah, glossing over death, that’d be totally different to what this show does on a weekly basis!
Phoebe goes to the paper again... on her day off, because she’s a friendless loser.
Elise: They aren't. And that's good. Have you seen today's paper? (She picks one up.) Thinnest one we've ever had. There's no crime to speak of, no corruption, no scandal. It's like people have been taking happy pills. Thank god the obits are up. Otherwise, we'd just have a one-sheet.
You’d think that obituary comment would be a major red flag to Phoebe, but nope. Also in this world, everyone is cool with people just disappearing...there’s no concern over the fact that there’s no body or anything. This could’ve actually been pretty creepy if it wasn’t so sloppy.
Zankou takes Leo to a pyramid. Leo apparently knows flap all about Egyptology, so Zankou explains the symbols to him and also gives us some Avatar exposition. Apparently they tried this before with the Ancient Egyptians, but then they revolted against them.
The GAS Gang hang out in a dark room playing Big Brother. You’ve got a bunch of Avatars all staring at one screen. Surely it’d be easier monitoring the whole world if they split up.
Alpha: Unfortunately, however, some have already been damaged beyond hope. Their inner demons sometimes surface, causing... conflict. Gamma: And when that conflict passes a certain threshold, we must deal with it.
A certain threshold? Like raising your voice the way that guy did earlier? Pretty low threshold... it’s not as if there was any sign of him getting violent or anything.
The sisters get ready for their party. Piper and Phoebe look pretty good- Phoebe’s hair looks the best it has in a while, even if it’s still a bit too dark and Piper is wearing a sparkly brown top that I rather like. I can’t really say the same for Paige, because her hair is in a very strangely shaped up do that isn’t particularly flattering.
Zankou and Leo scheme. Watching Leo trying to be threatening to Zankou is pretty funny. It’s like watching a house cat trying to intimidate a lion.
Leo gets Phoebe to have a vision of Beta killing Kyle. He does this to show her that the Gas Gang aren’t good... which I don’t really get coming from Leo. If he got her to have a vision of them getting rid of those people this episode; that I’d get. But Beta did kill Kyle in self-defence, which is exactly what Leo did to him a few episodes ago and is far less questionable in my eyes than some of the stuff for sisters have done in the past!
Phoebe: I need a drink. (chases wine) So much for Phoebe being teetotal. Then again, her vegetarianism seems to come and go, so why not that too?
Zankou’s annoying bald minion is finally killed. Ah, thank you. Leo is vanished for his trouble.
Wyatt and Chris cry over Leo’s disappearance because apparently Utopia doesn’t affect children. Surely that’s another huge problematic hole in this Utopia scheme. What are they going to do this all over again for every generation?
Phoebe has a vision to remember all the losses. This is actually a pretty cool use of her power, but it’s completely ruined for me by the fact that they forgot to put Patty’s death in it. Miles, her short term boyfriend from season 5; he’s in it. Piper’s death in 3x22, which didn’t actually happen in this timeline, that’s in it. But the death of the Charmed Ones’ freakin’ mother? NOPE!!!!!! GAH!!!!!
Phoebe snaps Piper out of her Utopia daze. Holly’s acting is good as always in emotional scenes... Piper goes kind of frantic, between crying and resisting the urge to scream.
Paige is next, same deal. Basically, to snap someone out of Utopia, you just have to make them cry.
The GAS Gang see all of this happening, but don’t prepare for some s**t to go down... they just chill out and look concerned.
Phoebe: What's the matter, Zankou? Chicken?
Being English, I had no idea what that meant... but apparently Zankou Chicken is a restaurant in LA.
The sisters and Zankou go to the GAS Gang’s HQ. Piper seems to get Prue’s power briefly, because they forgot to add the damn explosion effect.
The GAS Gang basically go: “Oh you’re not ready? Okay, bye then” and that’s pretty much it. Yeah, that was totally worth the build up from 7x01!
They leave Kyle dead, because they claim that that’s too far back in the past. It’s like five minutes further back than where they actually wind back to at the most; so I’m calling BS on that and thinking that The Avatars just want to get back at Brody. Also Kerr’s contract is up.
Utopia is over and everyone on the WB lot is back to being total arseholes. Piper and Phoebe watch and smile; because they’re by far the biggest arseholes on the street.
Paige is back in Brody’s apartment, mourning his death... but fear not Paige, because here he is! The Elders made him a whitelighter. Thank God The GAS Gang isn’t here to gloss over death anymore, right guys? Yep, The Elders, petty little b**tards that they are, rewarded Kyle for putting a woman in a coma and locking her in an asylum, risking screwing up the timeline, teaming up with a demon, hexing the sisters and being a general nut job... just so long as he helped take out their enemy in the end. Screw Prue, Andy, Patty or anyone else like that, they don’t deserve it, but Brody does. What-the f**k-ever!!
And we’re done with season 7A so to speak and thank God for that, because I'm all Avatarred out... onto season 7B.
Next up, things get Zany.
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Post by Sadrick on Aug 15, 2015 13:25:32 GMT -5
What's interesting is how Avatar Cole completely reshaped reality just so he could have it where Paige was dead because he somehow came to the conclusion that she was the reason behind his relationship with Phoebe going up in smoke and not because of the sisters' arrogance and shortsightedness. Before that, we saw how the Avatars were being propped up as this mysteriously dangerous force that chuckled at Invincible Cole's powers. It should go without saying that they had a lot of hype. However, fast forward two years later and you have these wimpish imitations whose powers are left exhausted after Leo rewound time a few times. Even Tempus could do better than that since he actually turned back an entire day twice.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2015 15:38:12 GMT -5
Very true. It was made out that The Avatars' powers were without limit... but in season 7, that's clearly far from the case. If the limits concerning the collective from season 7 were applied to season 5; then what Cole did should have totally wiped them out.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2015 17:20:09 GMT -5
And we're done with the Avatar rubbish.
Yeah, I agree. Cole would have wiped out these wimps without breaking into a sweat.
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Post by lilchi7212 on Aug 15, 2015 18:10:39 GMT -5
I Phoebe: What's the matter, Zankou? Chicken?
Being English, I had no idea what that meant... but apparently Zankou Chicken is a restaurant in LA. When someone calls you chicken it means that you are a coward or you are afraid to do something.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2015 23:27:38 GMT -5
Oh yeah, that chamber that looked like it came from Babylon Five. I kept waiting for the caption: Meanwhile, on the Narn home world.
This is a prime example on how bad Kern was with story arcs. Perhaps they should have stuck to the stand alone idea of the earlier seasons.
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Post by Chrisaholic on Aug 16, 2015 8:53:23 GMT -5
Huh, a way too many to comment now. To "Witchness Protection": I so love Kira and her coolness. She really brought Leo out of concept and then the picture making in the beginning. At first she refers to big Chris and all that other stuff and in the end, she destroys the picture herself. And Kira should have stayed longer for sure. I missed her after that! Zankou was cool with his first introduction. To "Ordinary Witches": I always thought the secret of them being witches should stay a secret and then Phoebe blurted it out loud to the poor mortal in public?! Right, where are the Cleaners again? And Denise is even better with Piper's blowing up, she thinks there are many parties going on at Manor. If only. lol Still, the time travel of Paige and Kyle reminded me of something but I can't say anymore. To both Avatar episode: Yeah, world changes are never good and the Charmed Ones still seem to enjoy it. At least, the kids feel when their Dad was killed whereas Piper doesn't want to hear it, again. What do they understand of this world? It seems like nothing, though it was their wish for the future. There comes the S2 final in mind: Be careful what you wish for, it may come true. Unfortunately, here it was a big failure.
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Post by adzpower on Aug 16, 2015 9:19:09 GMT -5
I think the reason they didn't pit the avatars against the sisters in an epic battle is because it would have been completely ridiculous to try, the avatars had what they called unlimited power, going up against three witches would have been child's play and the sisters would have lasted no more than 5 minutes, especially with their reduced Charmed power from Paige not sharing the complete prophecy.
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Post by Sadrick on Aug 16, 2015 10:00:35 GMT -5
The Avatars barely had enough power left to reverse time back to the moment just before Utopia began. I'm not sure how much of a threat they could have posed to the sisters. Don't forget that Zankou was also with them and he already demonstrated that he could overpower an Avatar by himself when they're weakened. They could try and obliterate the sisters using the energy wave ability that Leo resorted to when confronted by a small group of demons, but they didn't come unprepared and were brandishing many Avatar killing potions; the more weak they become, the easier it is to kill them.
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Post by yinsoul on Aug 16, 2015 12:15:49 GMT -5
I honestly wish the Avatars would have stayed as truly neutral instead of "Uhh, we know we made these beings make a big deal out of being neutral but we cant get rid of them any other way so lets just have them arbitrarily erase people". I mean the paragons of 'good' were evil (or at least evilly stupid), evil was evil, I wouldnt have minded powerful beings that offered some sort of alternative even if no one of the Halliwells joined them at all (I probably would have preferred they stay away, honestly). But then Im a huge fan of shades of grey. I'm sure there were creatures on both sides who tired of the 'eternal fight' and I would have been thrilled if that was explored more.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2015 12:51:19 GMT -5
Just that it was funny that the Avatars could take whatever Cole could throw at them in S5, but I measly potion can kill them now? Sorry, not buying it. The Avatars were a bad idea in Season Five, and why Kern brought them back is a mystery to me.
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Post by lilchi7212 on Aug 16, 2015 15:06:47 GMT -5
Just that it was funny that the Avatars could take whatever Cole could throw at them in S5, but I measly potion can kill them now? Sorry, not buying it. The Avatars were a bad idea in Season Five, and why Kern brought them back is a mystery to me. It's not just any other potion it's a special type of potion that can kill an Avatar that apparently both good and evil made together when the Avatars tried to impose their will on other civilizations in the past. Since their a neutral party their powers are unlimited,being neither good or evil. Their main desire is to shape the world into their own design making it into a perfect world and would do anything to keep it that way without any sorta conflict whatsoever. Since the Avatars magic is linked both individual and as a group if one of them is vanquished with that potion the whole group gets weaker and less powerful as demonstrated by Kyle when he killed Beta. At this stage, they will become vulnerable to any attacks from very powerful Upper Level Demons and other Magical beings.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2015 8:28:22 GMT -5
You’re So Zane A.k.a. Carpe Demon
We start with Piper on the phone with one of the P3 employees who is proposing on Valentine’s Day night.
Piper: I hope she says no.
Such a nice person.
Phoebe has discovered another cause to fill her sad, lonely days... this time, it’s the phone company. Then she goes back to wittering on about her other purpose in life-
Phoebe: Yeah, sure, of course. It's not like anyone's proposing to me, or like anyone's sending me flowers or reciting me poetry. So much for the little girl I saw in my vision.
Waah, waah, waah! Nobody cares.
Cut to Paige and Ms. Donovan talking through applications for the literature professor position.
Miss Donovan: A muse? No, no, no, no. You can't hire her as the next literature professor. She'll inspire them to write novels instead of reading them.
Uh yeah, she’d also be invisible and unheard. But a literature teacher than inspires you to write novels... that’s a bad thing?
Fact is, Ms Donovan is angling for the job herself.
Miss Donovan: Well, isn't it time I moved up? Besides, I had a great rapport with the last literature professor. Paige: You hated that little gnome, arguing with him five minutes before he was killed.
Wait, that gnome who hated all fiction was the literature professor?! What did he read with them, instruction manuals?
Drake pops in on his motorcycle and has some back and forth with Ms. Donovan... already I’m picturing a spin off where Drake and Donovan run a magic library and explore all these different fiction worlds while snarking at each other.
Drake: Personally, I hate exposition, but if... All right. Yeah you’d better get used to exposition Drake, you’re not written by people skilled enough to give the information to the audience without constantly spelling everything out word for word.
A grumpy, self-pitying Piper... so a pretty standard Piper... is putting up Valentine’s Day decorations at P3.
Leo: Staple gun? Since when do you staple decorations? Don't you want everything to be perfect? Piper: What's the point? It's all gonna be torn down tomorrow anyway.
And again I say waah, waah, waah!
So the Sorcerer, another character they were too lazy to give a name to... let’s call him Randy. Randy wants Drake’s powers and intends to make him use them. Oh I forgot to mention, this guy made Drake human, but if Drake uses his demonic powers, Randy gets them and Drake burns for all eternity.
Demon: Sir, excuse me, sir. We have a new lead. Bounty Hunter: A woman? You call that a lead?
Ah, the lesser known Demon of Sexism... oh or is that Phoebe...or maybe Grams?
Darryl calls, Phoebe starts going on about the phone company, but Darryl could not care less. He tells Phoebe that Sheridan is back.
Darryl: Your friend Brody came to visit me last night and told me that he brought her out of the coma. Didn't you say he died? Phoebe: Yeah, well, I never said it stuck. He became a Whitelighter.
...but your buddy Andy can suck it!
Drake teases Paige by playing with the book. Heh, he’s fun.
Elders Sandra and Crankus talk to Leo on the bridge. Sandra tells Crankus to get the hell out of there with his b!tching so they can have an adult conversation... but ya know, she’s more diplomatic about it. Basically this scene just establishes that there’ll be consequences.
Drake: You're mean because you closed down your heart. You're petrified it's gonna get broken again, aren't you? You know, there's only one man I know who can solve all of these problems. Well, come on, Robin Hood.
No, I have no idea what any of that has to do with Robin Hood either... but they wanted Robin Hood, so they’re doing Robin Hood! Whatever massive leaps and contrivance it takes.
Randy turns up, attacks Drake and uses magic to try and get him to embrace his demon-ness or something. If he’s just going to force him, why even go through the whole deal thing? Why not just attack him and take his powers in the first place? Anyway, Piper blasts Randy mid-spell and Drake ends up thinking he really is Robin Hood.
Paige’s confidence is shot after losing Kyle by the way. It’s about as important as most of Paige’s subplots.
Piper: What kind of Robin Hood rides a motorcycle?
The kind that the crackpot writers of Charmed come up with of course! Don’t get me wrong, I am actually rather enjoying this, but it’s entirely down to how much fun Billy Zane is clearly having with what is otherwise a really sh**ty script.
Donovan is held prisoner by Randy. Her shackles are very clearly far too big for her hands and it’s really obvious that Ann Cusack is just hanging onto them through her scenes.
Leo is useless. That’s all.
Piper wants a vanquishing spell for Drake, because Piper is great at giving up, especially when someone is in great need. Paige, thankfully, has an alternate idea that doesn’t involve killing a good guy.
Darryl: If Sheridan finds out, that could be a trigger. Leo: Sorry? Darryl: For her memory. If she remembers she was after them, then she'll be all over us again. Leo: Oh, then, you can't let her find out. Darryl: ...Thanks for the tip, Leo. (hangs up)
Heh, even Darryl thinks Leo is useless.
Piper: Paige, it's not your first day as a witch. It's just... We're running out of options. You saw the news. I think it's time we go to plan B. Paige: I think getting rid of him would be a big mistake. Piper: So would letting an innocent die. Look, if you're not gonna trust yourself, at least trust me because it's certainly not my first day.
Oh trust me Piper, we’re all painfully aware that it’s not your first day... as far as I’m concerned, that Piper died a long time ago. She was compassionate and refused to give up when someone needed help. The whiny, self-centred, self-pitying shrew that stands before us now, sure as hell isn’t THAT Piper!
Randy casts a spell on John and when he calls Phoebe Drake’s maid, Drake snaps... even though he’s been calling her Maid Marion, so I’m not sure I get why he reacts this way, but let’s keep this moving. Drake blasts John out the window. He hangs on for dear life and Phoebe helps pull him up...also he’s not horribly burned despite Drake hitting him square in the chest with a fire based power, but whatever. While this is happening, Randy turns up, takes Drake’s power and banishes him to purgatory.
Phoebe: The point is is we have to save Drake. Piper: I don't know, I think Drake's caused enough trouble for one day. Leo: I'll say. We'll be lucky if he doesn't trigger Sheridan's memory.
Hey, Piper, remember when you became a wendigo, or a fury, or a goddess who nearly destroyed the city? Oh you do? Then shut up, you hypocritical cow! And you Leo? You’re really going to get up on your high horse THE EPISODE AFTER all the Avatar s**t just went down? Screw you both, screw your hypocrisy... Just. Screw. You!!!
*Sigh* Okay we’re nearly done. This next part is another ridiculous stretch of the Robin Hood theme, so let’s get it over with. Phoebe suggests thinking more like Robin Hood... and apparently that entails glamouring to looking like Ms. Donovan, confusing Randy and then using the vanquishing spell. Yeah, once again, how that has anything to do with Robin Hood is beyond me.
Drake starts his job at Notwarts and he breaks the news to Phoebe that he only has two weeks to live.
Phoebe: I mean, can't we try to fix it? Drake: You can't. *My contract is already negotiated and set* And you know what? It's all good. *I want to be long gone before Kern starts that terrible eighth season anyway*
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2015 11:35:36 GMT -5
Shut up, Phoebe. We're sick to death of your baby daddy quest already. What's next. Karen Walker running AA meetings? they really wanted to make Piper unlikable, didn't they. And another evil British character. Did Kern have an ancestor he worships killed in the Revolution of the War Of 1812? That stupid bridge again. Luckily, once again, not one of the thousands commuting across the bridge sees them. Paige? Who dat? The pods are in the basement. Yeah, but they're gonna be a fun two weeks. After the Avatar rubbish, we deserve it.
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Post by Melinda Halliwell on Aug 17, 2015 12:39:26 GMT -5
And another evil British character. Did Kern have an ancestor he worships killed in the Revolution of the War Of 1812? I know not very good for us Brits hey and I'm British.
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